"Moony..." a voice whispered to him, soft but audible, long fingers carding through his hair gently as if to coax him from his slumber. The tone was low and familiar in a way that warmed him, the accent posh but not ostentatious. Then a vision of grey eyes and dark hair and alabaster skin; of expressive eyebrows and a straight nose and lips like sin. "Come on, Moons. Time to wake up."
"Remus," another voice murmured, this one lighter and gentle in a soothing sort of way. The accent was broad, all long vowels and clipped consonants, like it had been stolen from the Yorkshire moors. Then a flash of freckles and bright green eyes and hair the colour of fire. "Up you get, Remus, love."
"Oi, Remus," muttered a new voice. This one was gruff and held a cockney twang that felt so far away and yet so recognisable. Then a snippet of knowing blue eyes and sandy hair and a wise-arse smirk. "Hey. Open your eyes, mate."
"Moony. Remus, mate, you have to get up," said another voice, this one more urgent than the others. This voice was deep and clear and held an unmistakable Bristolian inflection; a pirate's accent, yet entirely comforting. Then a snapshot of brown eyes and cappuccino-coloured skin and messy hair. "You have to get up now."
"Come on, Moons," said the first voice, still soft, still gentle, still posh. "Time to wake up now, okay? You have to come back to us..."
"WAKE UP!"
Remus jolted awake, his hazel eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light of his cell.
He frowned and glanced around the room only to find a masked figure standing at the edge of his cage whilst another silhouette stood in the dungeon's entrance. Reality flooded in, cold and awful, and he felt himself slump back with a defeated huff. After a second, he carefully pushed himself up so that he was sitting against the wall of his prison, and he rubbed a dirty hand over his forehead, trying in vain to push away the headache that had plagued him for... well, he didn't know how long.
How long had it been now, he wondered. How long had he been sleeping on the floor of this dirty cell with the same thin mattress and blood-and-mud covered threadbare blanket? How long had he been staring at the same four walls, the same metal bars, the same weird-shaped mark on the ceiling? How long had it been since he had last seen his friends, or had a decent meal, or even a good night's sleep?
Two full moons, at least – which was two full moons too many.
"Eat up," snarled one of his captors, who then set down a metal tray and shoved it under the bars.
The scraping of metal against uneven cement made Remus wince, and he glared at the masked figure. He glanced at the tray and bit back a sigh. It consisted of the same colourless gruel that he had been forced to eat every day since his capture along with a customary piece of stale bread and a bottle of water that would have to last him a day or two. Then he saw a Marathon bar. The woman standing in the doorway must've seen his confusion because she cackled and stepped forward, draping herself over the bars of his prison.
Remus felt sick.
Bellatrix Lestrange was a familiar sight by now. She had been the one who had caught and imprisoned him, and she had visited him every day since. She was a cruel, sadistic, unhinged woman, and she did whatever she could to ensure his stay was that little bit more awful with every passing day.
Her methods of abuse were vast and varied. Sometimes she didn't speak to him; only watched him like he was an animal at the zoo. Other times she taunted him with facts or told him lies that he couldn't be sure were lies – about his friends, about his mam, about Sirius. More often than not, she physically tortured him, but sometimes she just watched as the others beat him up. Wands or fists, it was always an in-the-moment decision.
Twice now she had weakened him enough for her and her cronies to go searching through his mind. He had blocked off any knowledge he had on Dumbledore and the workings of the Order of the Phoenix, but Bellatrix hadn't gone looking for that sort of information. In fact, she had gone straight to the part of his brain that held his emotions and memories. He had put it together pretty quickly that he wasn't there as their prisoner of war but rather just as their prisoner. Bellatrix had him there for some other reason; he just didn't fully understand what it was yet.
"It's to give you energy, little beast," the witch explained. "You're going to need it."
Remus didn't answer or reach for the food. Instead, he glared at the evil wench and leaned back against the stone wall of his small prison, hiding a grimace at the aches taking over his entire body: a gift from sleeping on the floor every night or from the every-other-day beatings, he wasn't sure.
"Oh, Lupin, keep looking at me like that, and I'll think you want something else," she snickered, earning a huff from the masked one. She gripped the bars and lowered herself down, slow and dangerous, her legs spreading wide on the metal. Once she was at his eye level, she said, "Sometimes I see what he must see in you. My dear cousin, that is. But then I remember what you are, what lurks in that dirty blood of yours, and I see just how far he has fallen."
Remus bit his tongue and kept his eyes on his knees, all in an attempt not to launch himself at the bars and strangle the bitch. She wanted a reaction, but he wasn't going to give her one. She had learned early on that bringing Sirius into it was a trigger for him, and he had reacted before. (It never ended well for him.)
Bellatrix stared at him for a long moment before she pulled herself back upright. She glanced over at the masked one and shrugged, twirling her wand casually in her hand. She turned back to Remus and said, "Eat up, little beast. I'll see you later."
Then she winked and swept out of the room, the other one following behind her. Remus waited until their footsteps had faded, and then another five minutes to be sure they were gone, before he dragged the tray over to himself and began tucking into the bland goo.
"Never thought a clever bloke like you would end up in a place like this."
Remus jumped and looked up to find he was no longer alone. Standing in the corner of his cell, leaning back against the bars oh-so-casually, was one of his best friends. Peter looked fresh and happy, and he had his usual wise-arse smirk on his face.
"Pete?"
Peter grinned widely and said, "How're you doin', mate? Not great, eh?"
Remus opened his mouth to reply but couldn't find a response, unsure what was actually going on.
"Full is in five days, y'know."
Remus frowned and replied, "Pete, what... What are you doing here? How did you get in here?"
"Oh, come on, Moony," he muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Think about it for a second."
Remus took a second to think about it, then he realised... "You're not here."
"Bingo."
Well, shit.
Remus huffed and put his spoon down on the tray. It was official. He'd only gone and bloody done it. He was finally living up to his unwanted moniker: Loony Loopy Lupin. He had actually cracked up. Gone nutters. Was dancing with the faeries under the pale moonlight.
"Awh, Remus, it's not as bad as you think it is," said Lily, who was suddenly sitting beside him. "It's just your mind's way of coping with..." She waved her hand. "...all this."
"Yeah, mate, it was bound to happen eventually," James said from his other side, leaning against him, though there was no pressure at his side which Remus found deeply unsettling. James shrugged and added, "I mean, I wouldn't have made it through a month, never mind three."
Remus felt like crying. He hadn't seen his friends in so long. He had been Bellatrix's prisoner for months and he had only seen her face in all that time. Anyone else that came down to see him, to feed him or beat him senseless or tie him to a chair so that Bellatrix could go snooping around his brain, were all wearing cloaks and masks. Seeing his friends – their fresh, happy, healthy faces – was like finding that piece of hope in Pandora's box. They were figments of his imagination, sure, but it didn't matter. He was not alone. But where was...
"Moony?"
Remus looked ahead and felt his heart stutter in his ribcage because kneeling in front of him was his best friend and the love of his life.
Sirius smiled at him, his grey eyes bright and face untroubled. Remus wanted to reach out, but he kept his hands folded in his lap because he knew what he would feel if he did reach out: nothing. Sirius was not there. Sirius was just in his head, just like the others.
"Hi, Moons," he greeted. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too," Remus replied before he could think about it. "More than anything."
What had happened, he wondered. He had been managing fine, hadn't he? He had suffered through the loneliness and the desperation and the isolation. He had taken the beatings and the lies and the manipulations. He had been getting by. So, what had happened, he wondered, in the last few hours for him to suddenly start seeing his friends, and why now? He glanced at the food and wondered...
"The food wasn't drugged, Remus," stated Lily, always the voice of reason. "You know that."
Remus frowned, "How did you...?"
"We're in your head, remember?" James replied with a grin.
"Everything you're thinkin', we're thinkin'," added Peter.
"What's going on, then?" he asked. "Why are you all here? Why now?"
Lily offered a quiet smile but didn't say anything. James and Sirius shared a look, but it was Peter who answered: "The full is in five days, mate. You've been 'ere for nearly three months. You're underfed, you're cream-crackered, and you're sick."
"So, what, it's pre-moon hallucinations?" he checked.
"Something like that," Lily replied.
"Remus, we're here because you need a reminder of what you are fighting for," Sirius stated, his grey eyes so intense, so focused on Remus, that it felt like he was really there. "You're feeling low, which is understandable, but you can't give up."
"I wasn't going to give up," he replied.
"Mm, not strictly true, that," Peter mumbled.
"You need to get out of here, Moony," James said, and he no longer looked carefree. He looked worried. "You know what they're going to do with you."
"I don't..." Remus closed his eyes and covered his ears with his hands in an attempt to block his friends out, but it was no use. They were in his head. He couldn't get rid of them, and he couldn't stop listening to them. "I don't."
"You do," replied Peter in his usual no-nonsense manner. "You saw them take what's-his-name. Matty or Morley or..."
Murphy. The werewolf who had been in the compartment next to his was called Murphy, and he had been locked up long before Remus turned up.
Being the only two locked up in the dungeons, they had talked a lot in those first few weeks. Murphy had told Remus about his life, his family and friends and job in the Muggle world, then he had moved onto what Bellatrix and the others had done to him, and what they had made him do. Sometimes they had put Murphy in an arena and made his wolf fight. Other times they had let his wolf run wild and they had hunted him. At the last full moon, they had dragged Murphy out. When the morning came, Murphy hadn't come back.
Remus wanted to hope that the man had escaped but he wasn't so sure. He himself had been allowed to transform in his unit for the past two full moons since Bellatrix and her cronies had no use for him other than for her personal amusement, but with Murphy no longer there, Remus knew he would be their next target.
"Ah, that's right," Peter muttered, reading his mind. "Murphy. Remember when he told you that they made 'im kill that Muggleborn? That was rough."
Remus shook his head, clenched his eyes shut, tried to stop the words from entering his ears.
"Or when they set 'im loose in that village and then spent the entire night hunting 'im. He said he'd woken up with blood all over 'im, and it wasn't his own. D'you remember that?"
Remus frowned and muttered, "Stop it."
"Or how about when he told you that they tied 'im up and waited for 'im to wolf-out, and then they used 'im as target practice until he transformed back?"
"Shut up," he growled. "Please shut up."
"Pete," warned James.
"What?" asked Peter.
"He knows what Murphy told him," Lily said.
"Right, but is doing anyfing about it?" Peter replied. "Remus, you need to know what'll 'appen if you don't get out of 'ere. It's only you now. With Murphy no longer able to play, d'you really think they'll let you transform in 'ere? No. They want their fun, and they'll get it wiv you."
Remus shook his head violently. He felt queasy. He felt dizzy. His breaths were coming in short gasps, his ears were buzzing with white noise, his pulse was hammering under his skin and his blood was rushing fast through in his veins. He felt hopeless and lost and so defeated.
"It's no use," he mumbled desperately. "I can't – I can't – It doesn't work, I don't know how to... I can't do it. I can't do this. Please stop. Just stop—"
"Remus," murmured Sirius. "Hey! Moony, listen to me."
Remus paused, everything in stasis, and he was pretty sure that he was hallucinating now because he felt Sirius come closer.
"Take a deep breath," Sirius instructed. "In, one-two-three, out, one-two-three. Just like that. Just like we practiced, yeah?"
Remus nodded shakily and took a deep breath. He held it in for one-two-three and then slowly let it out. He did it again, and again, and then once more to be safe. Once the white noise had cleared, once his heartrate was back under control, he lowered his hands and opened his eyes to find Sirius still sitting across from him.
"You have to keep fighting, Remus," Sirius said. He was so handsome, but he looked sad; Remus hated it when Sirius was sad. "It's not an option. You have to get through this. You have to come back to me. You know that I can't do this without you, Moony. You know that, even if you pretend you don't. You know that I need you. You have to keep fighting. If not for you, then for me."
"For all of us," James said. "Don't think it's only Sirius who wants you here."
"You're important to all of us," Lily smiled.
"We need you, Moony," Peter finished.
Remus looked at his friends, at their appearances in his mind, how he remembered them in worst moments, and he nodded. "Okay. Alright. I'll... I'll keep trying," he muttered.
Sirius smiled and leaned forward to press their foreheads together. There was no pressure, nothing to confirm that what he was experiencing was real, but he closed his eyes and relished the moment anyway.
"You should get some sleep," said Sirius. When Remus opened his eyes, all of his friends were standing on the outside of the cage. Sirius wrapped his hands around the bars and added, "When you wake up, you think of a way to get out of here. Deal?"
Remus nodded and lay back down. "Will you be here when I wake up?"
Sirius smiled sadly but did not say anything. Remus took that as an answer and closed his eyes.
"Moony... I love you. Come back to me. Marauders stick together, remember? Don't leave me on my own. Just keep fighting."
Consciousness slowly dripped in, dreams of grey eyes and soft skin fading from him. He wanted to stay in that world where everything was soft and light and beautiful, but he couldn't. Reality always came knocking where he was concerned. With a groan, he sat up and glanced around his container. He couldn't see Sirius or the others. He didn't think he would. But, God, he wanted to.
"Sirius?" he checked.
No answer.
Remus nodded to himself and stood up. He stretched out, wincing as aches and pains erupted across body. He walked around the small space, looking for a way out, for some sort of fault with the bars or room or anything really. There was a tiny window in his block, but it was high up and he was sure that it was locked, barred, or booby-trapped, or perhaps all three. He decided to test his theory and threw a piece of stale bread at it. He was unsurprised when it bounced back, charcoal black. It was too high up for him to reach anyway.
He paced for another hour or so. He was still pacing when he heard footsteps on the way down to him in the dungeon. He turned to find Bellatrix in the entryway, two masked figures with her this time. She offered a smile, the kind that made him want to throw something at her.
"Hello, my little beastie," she cooed, coming closer to the bars.
"Twice in one day," he muttered. "My, I am blessed."
Bellatrix narrowed her eyes and Remus realised immediately that he had fucked up. Maybe he needed to control his smart mouth, but life was living and all that rot. Bellatrix snapped her fingers and Remus spent the next hour being tortured by her whilst the other two watched from the side-lines.
When he was thoroughly bruised and drooling blood, she tried searching his mind, but he was either too out of it for her to get a read or his mind was strong thanks to the encouragement from his friends. Either way, she didn't get whatever it was that she wanted, as she snarled and ordered the other two to take him back to his cage.
"Eat the Marathon, Lupin," she ordered once the door had clanged shut. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Remus didn't move from where he had been dropped in his cell. Bellatrix and the other two left him behind without a backwards glance.
"Oi, Remus. Time is runnin' out, mate. Get movin'."
Three days until the full moon and Remus was beginning to feel the effects of it. The usual pre-moon jitters had set in, preparing him for his imminent transformation: aches were settling in his bones, his senses were heightening with every passing hour, and he could not get his thoughts in order.
The chocolate bar that Bellatrix had given him had helped to rejuvenate him a bit, restoring some of his energy and giving him a boost in magic, but he had used that ephemeral strength to heal some of the worse wounds he had gotten from the torture he had endured the other day (his splintered shinbone, the pain in his elbow, the cut along his neck), and now he was drained again.
Remus pushed himself up and leaned back against the wall, glancing around the room that he had been stuck in for three months. There was no way out, no matter how much he looked. He was staring at a loose brick in the wall to his left when he heard:
"Lupin?"
Remus turned to the voice and frowned because the man staring at him looked a bit like Sirius if Sirius was taller and less handsome. That wasn't to say that the man staring at him was ugly. He just wasn't a patch on Sirius Black.
Remus blinked and focused on the man standing outside of his cage, and he quickly realised who he was staring at: Regulus Black, heir to the Black Family fortune and Sirius's little brother.
"Black?"
Regulus opened his mouth but seemed to be speechless. "What..."
Remus sneered as best he could with his bust lip and muttered, "What? Were you about to ask what happened? Piss off."
Regulus blinked and seemed to shake himself out of his stupor. He moved closer to the bars and asked, "Lupin, what are you doing here?"
Remus shot the other man an odd look because it seemed like a rather dumb question to ask. He was sitting on the dirty floor of a small cage, covered in blood and dirt and probably a bit of sick; he had no bed, just a thin mattress and a raggedy blanket; he couldn't see himself but he knew that he didn't exactly look healthy and was probably covered in cuts and bruises; and he had a bottle of water which was half-empty and slop in a bowl. He was obviously not there voluntarily.
"I'm clearly here on holiday," he snapped sarcastically. "What a dumb fucking question. What the fuck do you think I'm doing here?"
Regulus looked like he was going to say something else, but Bellatrix floated into the room in the next second, flanked by two masked figures. (Remus was sure the masked followers were just Bellatrix's husband and brother-in-law, Rodolphus and Rabastan Lestrange, but he didn't really care if he was being honest.)
"Ah, Reggie, you've found our new plaything," Bellatrix cooed.
Regulus didn't seem like he knew what to do, which was confirmed when he said, "What?"
Bellatrix leaned against the bars and stared at Remus in a way that made him feel uncomfortable and exposed. "Pretty, isn't he?" she asked. "For a monster, at least."
"Yes, your brother certainly seems to think so," muttered one of the masks, his accent confirming that it was definitely one of the Lestranges. Rodolphus, probably.
Bellatrix giggled and replied, "Hm, yes, not very good at Occlumency, this one. Saw all the dirty details, didn't we, Lupin? Quite an animal in the bedroom, aren't you?"
Remus snarled but said nothing.
"Did you know your brother likes it up the arse, Black?" asked the other mask. Rabastan, probably.
Bellatrix sneered and said, "Yes. Really likes it, if this one's memories are to be trusted."
Regulus made a face and muttered, "Shut up, that's disgusting."
The way he said it, it didn't sound like he thought that what Remus and Sirius did specifically was disgusting, but rather he thought that hearing about his older brother's sex life was off-putting – which was fair. The thought, whilst somewhat reassuring, didn't make Remus any less tense.
"You're right," she murmured. "The things your brother has done with this beast... It is disgusting."
Remus stood up in a flash, hand clutching his side where he was sure he had a broken (or at the very least, bruised) rib. Regulus stepped back but Bellatrix did no such thing. She just stared at him, daring him to do something. Remus glared but said nothing and stood his ground. She wanted a reaction, and he was so close to giving her one.
"Naaawww," she cooed. "Little Lupin doesn't like it when we talk about his bitch. Do you, baby?"
"Fuck you," he replied, very calmly.
Bellatrix cackled and said, "Is that an offer?"
Remus wrinkled his nose and stayed silent.
"Wouldn't want those hands on me anyway," she snapped. "I know where they've been."
"Bella, what is he doing here?" asked Regulus.
Bellatrix focused her attention on her cousin. "Oh, come on, Reggie," she cajoled. "I could say that I took him to save your brother but... well, we both know that Sirius can't be saved." She glanced over at Remus, perhaps trying to gauge his reaction but he did not give her one. She turned back to Regulus and said, "If I'm being honest, Lupin is here because I wanted a new werewolf to play with. We told you about our games, remember?"
"This... I didn't know you meant... What exactly do you do during these games?"
"Depends on what we're feeling," replied one of the masks. Rodolphus, probably. "Sometimes we do a bit of hunting, sometimes we take it down to the courtyard and find a friend to play with it."
"So, what, you just found Lupin by chance?" Regulus asked. He didn't sound very happy that it was Remus in the cage.
Bellatrix grinned offensively and said, "Well, I didn't say that, now, did I? I may have aimed for this particular beast." She turned to Remus, her evil smile now on him. "I suppose I just wanted to know what all of the fuss was about. I mean, your vile brother left our family for him. I was curious. And let me tell you, Reggie, this little monster has not disappointed."
"Bella..." Regulus began, but before any of them could say anything else, all of their wands glowed a sickly green colour.
Bellatrix waved her wand and said, "Looks like we've been summoned. Come on, little cousin. You can gawk at it another time."
Remus watched them all leave: first the two masked figures, then Bellatrix after a wink in his direction, and finally Regulus who gave him one last maybe-worried look.
"Whatever you do, Remus, don't stop fighting. Sirius, James, Pete, they all need you. I need you."
"She's not wrong, mate. We need you here. Keep going."
One day until the full moon and Remus was feeling rather defeated. He had not been able to think of a single escape plan other than to overpower Bellatrix and whoever she brought down with her – but that in itself was a near impossible feat because: one, he was working with maybe 10% power; two, she was equipped with a wand and back-up, whereas all he had were his fists; and three, he was really fucking tired. Not to mention the events of the previous day which had led to a dislocated shoulder that he had been forced to put back in himself.
And so, because of this, Remus had decided to accept his fate.
His friends, however in-his-head they were, had too high hopes for him. He was not a master escape artist. He had been imprisoned for three months. If he was going to find a way out, he would've done so by now. He was done. He had nothing more to give. Everything was beginning to feel rather pointless, so he had resigned himself to a full moon spent being hunted. Maybe he'd get lucky and fall into a spike pit or something.
Remus sighed and lay back on his shitty mattress in his shitty cage with his shitty thoughts, waiting for his captors to come and get him for his transformation.
"Lupin."
Remus frowned and glanced around. He saw no one and wondered for a second if he was going nutters again. Maybe he'd see his friends again before his (possible) last transformation. That'd be nice. With a huff, dropped his head back and lay still again.
"Fucking hell, Lupin," muttered a voice, followed by the jangle of some keys.
Remus jumped and watched as the door to his small cage swung open, then he heard a quiet, "Finite Incantatem," and he saw Regulus. Disillusionment Charm, he noted absently. They stared at each other for a long moment, Remus on his thin mattress, utterly confused, and Regulus in the doorway, an expectant look on his face. Then Regulus huffed like he was annoyed and moved into the cell.
"For fuck's sake, Lupin," he muttered, grabbing Remus's arm and pulling. "What did they do to you? Are you a puddle of goo now or what? Get up, we have to go!"
Remus allowed himself to be pulled up and dragged out of his miniature prison, one arm thrown over Regulus's shoulders. It was only once they were halfway up the stairs that Remus realised what was happening. But then he realised that he actually didn't know what was happening.
"Wait, wait," he said, stopping. "What's going on here? Is this... Is this part of their game?"
Regulus looked confused. "What?"
"Are you taking me to an arena? To the woods? Am I about to be hunted? It's too early. The full moon isn't until tomorrow. Unless... Unless they want to hunt me as I am, in which case I'll be a shit bit of prey because I am fucking useless right now," he rambled.
"Lupin, shut up," Regulus hissed. "I am not taking you to be hunted. I am trying to get you out of here. Now, help me out a bit, would you? You're heavy, you know. I need you to pull your weight."
Remus was no less confused, but he did pull his weight and they stumbled slowly but surely up the stone staircase. Once they were hobbling through the lavish hallways of whatever mansion they were in, he muttered, "I don't understand what's happening. Where is everyone? Why are you helping me?"
Regulus sighed and said, "Merlin, Lupin, you're supposed to be the smart one of my brother's friends. There is a gathering tonight for all of the esteemed members of our society. I am getting you out of here before Bella and the others come back from that. And I'm helping you because, like you said, the full moon is tomorrow night."
Remus didn't really think that was a suitable answer so he pushed, "I know the full moon is tomorrow night. That doesn't really explain why you're helping me."
Regulus got them out onto the grounds, and they made their way down the driveway towards the tall gates. It was only once they were off the premises and on the side of the road that Regulus stopped and kindly explained.
"I know you probably don't think much of me, Lupin, but I am not heartless," he said. "I didn't know that this was what Bella or the others had been spending their spare time doing. If I had known, I would have stopped it. You have to believe me, Lupin. What they did to you, what they've been doing to you... It's unacceptable."
Remus found himself believing the other man, so he nodded and said, "Okay."
"And contrary to popular opinion, I love my brother. And my brother loves you, so I know how worried he must be right now, not knowing where you are, and I know he'd be devastated if he were to learn what has been happening to you these past few weeks. If I had walked away the other night and just let this continue, and Sirius found out..." Regulus hesitated, then said, "I couldn't do that. To you, or to him."
Again, Remus believed him, "Okay."
"And tomorrow – I don't know what they had planned for you, but I know that it would have ended in one of two ways: either you would have been killed, or you would've been hunted, captured, and forced to endure another month of this. I couldn't... I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen. And what that would have done to Sirius... I can't imagine. You're his world, you know. He left our family because of you. For you."
"I know," Remus replied. "I feel the same. About him. He's everything to me."
Regulus nodded, "I know. And I know you probably haven't looked in the mirror recently, Lupin, but you look like shite. I had to get you out of there. If I'm honest, even if you hadn't been associated with my brother, I don't think I could have stood by and let this happen..."
Remus stared at the younger Black and found himself thinking: I have to save him. Regulus Black was a good person, and perhaps he always had been. They had gotten along in school, sometimes paired together for Prefect rounds, and Regulus had always been quick to help the younger years, to tutor or train or help with bullies. And Sirius had always defended his little brother; had always said that Regulus was not a bad kid, that Regulus had just fallen in with the wrong crowd.
Remus wasn't sure about a lot of things in life, but he was pretty sure about this. Regulus Black was good. He was Sirius's brother, after all – surely there was hope for him.
"You're a good person, Regulus," he stated. Regulus looked like he was about the argue but Remus cut in, "No, you are. You said it yourself. Even if I had been a complete stranger, you couldn't have let what was happening to me keep happening."
Regulus didn't say anything for a long minute, then he offered a wry smile and said, "Not a great Death Eater, am I?"
"No. But I don't think that's a bad thing."
Regulus stared at him for a long moment before he muttered, "No, I suppose not."
"Come with me," Remus urged.
"What?"
"Come with me. I can... You don't have to join the Order or anything, but we can get you out."
"You can't get me out of this mess, Lupin," Regulus replied sadly.
"I can. I will. I promise," he said. "Come with me, and I'll get you out. You're good, Regulus. I know you are. You just need a chance to show it."
Regulus bit his lip and took a second to weigh his options. After what felt like minutes, he finally nodded decisively and said, "Alright."
Remus offered a weak grin and said, "Alright."
"So, um. Where do we go?"
Remus nodded absently as he thought about where to go.
His own flat was off limits for obvious reasons. He would not risk the Death Eaters following him and Regulus to where Sirius was. His friends were off limits as well, for the same reasons. Order HQ was a possible stopgap, but he needed medical attention.
And then it hit him:
"Hogwarts," he said.
"You want to go back to school?"
"What month are we in now?"
"October."
"Near Blackberry Week? The school should be mostly free," he muttered. "I can't go back to the flat. Your old friends might follow our magical signatures there and I'm not endangering the love of my life. But Hogwarts... Hogwarts is safe. It's secure. I can get some help from Pomfrey and then transform in the Shack tomorrow. It also gives us a chance to speak to Dumbledore and Moody about how to get you out."
"Alright," Regulus nodded. "Can you take Side-Along, or should we hail the Bus?"
Remus shook his head, "We'll Apparate. It'll be quicker."
Remus put his arm around Regulus's shoulders again and allowed the other man to Apparate them to Hogwarts. It was an uncomfortable experience doing Side-Along with his injuries but he endured it.
Once his feet were on solid ground again, however, he threw up and promptly passed out.
"I knew you'd come back to me."
Remus woke in a soft bed surrounded by nice-smelling sheets and the morning sun. It was the day of the full moon: he could feel the wolf prowling beneath his skin, almost ready to be born again. He had a few hours still, but he could feel his body preparing from the change. Despite his pre-moon warnings, he felt miles better. He supposed he could say it was down to a good night's rest, but he knew from the fuzziness in his fingertips that he was dosed up on potions and painkillers.
He opened his eyes and automatically focused on the man at his bedside. Eyes closed, dark hair falling over his face, drooling a bit – Sirius looked tired, like he had spent a lot of time worrying recently, but he was so fucking handsome, always so handsome, and Remus felt so bloody lucky to be alive at that moment. He flexed his fingers and carefully brushed Sirius's hair behind his ear so that he could see the man properly.
Seeing Sirius, the real Sirius who he could touch and kiss and hold close, was like sleep to the freezing, like finding warmth in the middle of a bitter winter, like seeing the sunlight after being trapped in darkness for so long: overwhelming and blinding and wholly welcome.
"Padfoot," he murmured.
Sirius frowned but didn't wake.
Remus flexed his fingers again, brushing his thumb over Sirius's cheekbone. "Hey, Sirius. Wake up."
"Hmph?"
"Sirius..." he sang quietly. "Wakey, wakey."
Sirius frowned but blinked his eyes open. When he saw Remus, he smiled and closed his eyes again. Then he jolted up and muttered, "Moonph?"
Remus laughed quietly and replied, "I've been called worse."
"Remus... You're awake," he breathed. He stood up from his seat and immediately moved closer to take his place on the edge of the bed. He reached out but didn't touch Remus, clearly unsure whether he was allowed to. "I... Merlin, I've fucking – I'm so – Are you okay? Can I— Am I allowed to...?"
"You can touch me," he replied. "Please."
Sirius didn't need any more permission. He leaned forward so that he was practically lying on Remus, then took Remus's face in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. Remus kissed back as best he could, one hand coming up to hold Sirius close. Sirius gave him several small kisses, quick pecks all over his face – his cheeks, chin, forehead, lips, even his nose – then he climbed further onto the bed to lie next to Remus and buried his face in the crook between Remus's neck and shoulder. Remus sighed happily and held the other man close.
After all he had been through, after all of the beatings and the torture and the verbal assaults that he had pushed through every day for weeks on weeks, to have Sirius back in his arms, safe and sound, he felt right.
"I'm so glad you're okay, Remus," Sirius muttered against his shoulder. "I never stopped looking for you, you know. I tried everything but I just... I'm so sorry I couldn't find you. Poppy said... She said that you – that they'd..."
"It's okay, Padfoot. I'm okay. Everything's okay," he replied. It wasn't the truth and they both knew it, but he needed to reassure Sirius that it was okay – or that it would be in the future at least. He buried a hand in the man's hair and tugged enough to suggest Sirius lift his head, which he did. He looked into the grey eyes of his best friend, and he promised, "I'm going to be okay."
Sirius stared at him for a long moment before he nodded and leaned forward, pressing their foreheads together. The pressure was so comforting after what his last few weeks had been.
"I love you," Sirius mumbled. "So fucking much. You are never allowed to do this again, do you understand me? You are not allowed to go on a mission alone ever again. In fact, I'd rather you never went on a mission ever again full stop."
"I'll stop going on missions when you do," he retorted.
"For you, Remus, I would," Sirius replied, very seriously. "I can't lose you. Do you understand?"
Remus nodded and licked his lips. "I understand," he replied, but he couldn't promise to never go on a mission again. They were in the middle of a war and he had certain attributes that others in the Order did not have, so he added, "No more solo missions. Only the essentials."
Sirius didn't look very happy with that response, but he knew as well as Remus that they couldn't run away and swear off missions, and he replied, "Okay."
"I love you too, you know," he stated. "More than literally anything. You are the only thing that got me through it all. I kept going for you because I knew I had to come back to you."
Sirius smiled and leaned forward to kiss him again. The sound of a throat clearing separated them, and they both looked to the bottom of the hospital cot to find Regulus Black standing there. He nodded at them both, looking very awkward. It was a fair reaction, really. He'd just interrupted his brother and his brother's boyfriend snogging.
"Regs?" Sirius asked, tensing up a bit.
"Hello, brother."
"Regulus, hi," Remus greeted.
"Hello, Lupin," Regulus nodded in return.
"What did they say?" Remus asked.
Regulus hummed, then replied, "They think they can help me out, so. Thank you."
Remus scoffed and said, "You don't need to thank me, Regulus. You saved my life. I should be the one thanking you."
Regulus shoved his hands into his pockets and muttered, "Well, if we're being honest, you probably saved my life too, so..."
"Even Stevens?"
Regulus cracked a smile and said, "Sure. Even Stevens."
"Sorry, what is going on here?" Sirius asked, sitting up so that he could look between his brother and best friend easily.
"Oh. Did you not tell him?" Remus asked the younger Black.
"No, I got you to the Hospital Wing and then was immediately... well, Mr Moody would say that I was assessed, but I would say that I was interrogated," Regulus huffed a laugh. "As it turns out, I know some quite important information that may help end the war. Professor Dumbledore said that he would find me a safe place to hide out, but he reckons the stuff I've gathered could be useful in stopping... him."
Remus was shocked but it was good. The end was in sight. "Good. That's great."
"Hello, still not sure what's going on?" Sirius cut in.
"Oh. Um, long story short, Regulus saved my life. If he hadn't found me..." Remus hesitated. He didn't want to say what might have happened had Regulus not found him. He didn't want to worry Sirius with things that were only mere possibilities, and past possibilities at that. "Um. Anyway. It seems like he may be joining us in the Order?"
"Hah, we'll see," Regulus replied. "Might not be a need for one, if my intel is as good as they seem to think it is."
Sirius sat up straighter and stared at his brother. "Wait, Regs, you're..."
Regulus shrugged and bit his lip as he waited for Sirius's reaction. It struck Remus then just how young Regulus Black was. He was barely out of his teens and, in that moment, it was obvious. He looked so nervous, waiting for his big brother's approval.
After a few seconds, Sirius smiled and said, "Okay."
Regulus returned the small smile, then cleared his throat and said, "Listen, I have to go. Mr Moody wants to discuss the things I know and how we could use them against You-Know-Who, and he's supposed to be finding me a place to stay. I just wanted to check on you, make sure you weren't dead or whatever. And you're not, so... I guess I'll see you later."
"Wait, Regs..." Sirius stood up and moved close to his little brother (who, as it turned out, was a few inches taller). "Thank you," he said, then he leaned in to give his brother a hug which was returned after a second of hesitation.
Remus watched them and knew what the embrace really meant. It signified a fresh start for them, a clean slate where they could both be on the same side for once. When they pulled apart, they shared a smile before Regulus cleared his throat and stepped back.
"Right, then. I'll, um... I'll be going," he said. "Take care of each other, okay?"
Regulus looked at Remus when he said that, and Remus nodded, "We will."
Regulus nodded back, and then made his way down and out of the Hospital Wing. Remus and Sirius watched him go, and once they were alone again, Sirius climbed back onto the cot to lie next to Remus. Sirius moved and wiggled and pushed until he was under the sheets and draped over Remus like a second security blanket. They lay in silence for a long while, Remus just glad that the love of his life was unharmed and by his side.
"I understand that you may not want to talk about what happened while you were... away," Sirius said carefully. "But if you want to talk, and tell me what happened, I want you to know that you can, okay?"
Remus nodded, "I know."
"I mean it," he said, pulling back to look at Remus. "You can talk to me about anything."
Remus looked back and repeated, "I know."
Sirius hummed and rested his head on Remus's shoulder again. "James and Pete and Lily will be here later," he muttered. "They wanted to be here now, but I didn't think you'd want that. To be bombarded by all of us, I mean. I thought maybe you'd want a second to just... I don't know... just be."
Remus didn't say anything for a moment, glad that Sirius Black understood him in a way that no one else ever had or probably ever would. He wanted to see his friends, he really did, but he also needed to just be with Sirius for a while. He nodded and replied, "Thank you. For now, it's just me and you, yeah?"
Sirius grinned against his shoulder, and Remus felt the answer more than he heard it: "Yes. It's just me and you. Always."