Sirius Black was 12 minutes early to Dorcas’ engagement party at her and Marlene’s home in LA. Dorcas welcomed him inside with an enormous smile, gold eyeliner around her eyes.
“God, Sirius, you’re just on time. I wanted to make sure that my makeup was good. Do you think it’s good? Marls said it was fine but it’s our engagement party!” Dorcas scoffed, “It should be perfect!”
“Dork, it looks great.” Sirius said comfortingly. “But, if you want it to be perfect, I can help.”
Dorcas sighed in relief, smiling. “Thanks, Pads.”
Sirius grinned back at the nickname and followed Dorcas up the stairs to her and Marlene’s bedroom where their makeup supplies were.
Dorcas sat down on the stool, letting Sirius go through her things. He picked up the gold eyeshadow, starting to touch up the look she already had.
“Why gold?” Sirius asked, gently applying the makeup.
“It’s Mar’s favorite color. She’s wearing green tonight. I’m wearing gold.” Dorcas said carefully, so as not to mess Sirius up.
“That’s fucking adorable, I feel so single right now.” Sirius huffed back.
“It’s an engagement party, Pads. That's the point.” Dorcas snickered. “Today is the day I get to show off that I’ve met my soulmate.”
Sirius finished touching her eye shadow, moving back to the eyeliner which he drew on in a flame-like pattern.
“How’s that?” Sirius asked as he finished.
“It’s perfect,” Dorcas whispered, looking at it. “You’re the best, pads!!” She cried out, launching into a hug.
They went downstairs and Dorcas led Sirius down towards the bar.
“Open bar,” she said, handing Sirius a drink. “And Marls is letting me make jungle juice. You remember those days?” She asked, winking with a smirk.
Sirius groaned. “Of course! We drank jungle juice from high school graduation to when you, Peter, and I got our first actual shoot, and then you said we should try to be ‘responsible adults’ or something, so you stopped making it.”
“True,” Dorcas smiled, sighing. “Crazy to think that we started out so small and now we’re here! I mean, the movie I directed with Marlene as the main actress just won an Oscar, you’re a successful and gorgeous model that’ll be on Vogue for the fourth time in a month, and Peter is the top Hollywood costume designer for literally every movie and project ever!”
Sirius smiled, remembering their wild teenage lives, of Peter designing and making those costumes, Sirius modeling them, and Dorcas as the photographer. She had evolved from photography into directing as they had gained fame and found Marlene in her directing job. The main actress and the director had been quick to fall in love, and they were currently Hollywood’s number 1 soulmate couple.
“Alright Sirius. I’ve got to go get some more stuff situated for the party. But I want you to drink.” Dorcas said, and when Sirius hesitated at her order she continued. “Your next actual job is in two weeks. We are getting fucked up tonight, and you are going to drink as much as you want.” Dorcas said, and Sirius nodded. She slapped him on the shoulder and said a temporary goodbye.
Sirius drank.
——
After a long time and a lot of alcohol, Sirius found himself back at the drink table. He was filling his own glass, humming lightly to himself.
“Hey,” A man came up to the drink table, his tan cheeks flushed from alcohol. “Fill me up, will you?” He gestured towards the red jungle juice that Dorcas had made.
Sirius did.
The man then looked at him curiously, and Sirius looked back. He was tall, with hazel eyes and curly brown hair. His hands were lean and tough, slender enough to be nimble but sturdy enough to be strong. Scars danced around his face and his body, and Sirius wondered if this man would hate that Sirius thought they were beautiful. Sometimes pain shouldn’t be romanticized, Sirius thought guiltily, scolding himself.
“Do you know Marlene and Dorcas?” Sirius asked, wanting so badly to talk to him.
“Er, yeah,” the man said, “Marlene acted in one of my group’s music videos, and we had one of our songs in their movie. We kind of became friends, so I guess that’s why I’m here.” The man grinned at him, an adorably crooked smile that made Sirius’ heartbeat just a little bit faster. “What about you? How do you know Dorcas and Marlene?”
“Dorcas and I were friends in high school, and we started our careers together. She was the photographer, Peter was the designer, and I was the model.”
“Woah, wait. Do you mean Peter Pettigrew?” The man said, shocked.
“Yeah,” Sirius smiled, “He went to my high school too. We’ve been friends for a long ass time.”
“I fucking love Peter. He designed the outfits for the tour my band went on last summer. He’s sweet and has a great mind for inspiration.”
“Yeah. He’s got like zero backbone, though.” Sirius laughed, reaching up to shift his hair out of his face. He was way too sloshed to be talking to a stranger right now.
The man gave him a funny look. “Have we met before?” he asked.
“Er, no. I don’t think we have,” Sirius answered sheepishly.
The man’s eyes lit up suddenly. “No! I know! You are Sirius Black! the model, right? You’ve been on Vogue like three times! I still have all the magazines!” He admitted, pointing a finger at Sirius and grinning.
“Yeah,” Sirius nodded, blushing. “I’ll be on it for the fourth time in three weeks. I’ve got a photoshoot in two weeks for it.” Sirius remembered how he wasn’t technically supposed to talk about it, so he leaned in and pressed a finger to his lips, whispering “But don’t tell anyone, okay?”
The man did a light two-finger salute and then ran a hand through his hair. That movement suddenly reminded Sirius of a musician from a band he loved, the Valkyries. Technically, the specific musician he was thinking of was his self-determined celebrity crush, Remus Lupin. His voice and musical talent alone made Sirius absolutely adore him and his band, and Sirius had wanted to go to a concert last year but they were all booked up. Marlene and Dorcas had apparently gone, but their video and picture quality was way too bad for Sirius to use it to recognize him here. But there was no way that Remus was the man he was talking to, right?
“You said you were in a band, right? That band wouldn’t be the Valkyrie’s, could it?” Sirius asked slowly.
“What would you think if I told you that it was,” The man replied, and Sirius couldn’t tell if he was teasing him or testing the waters carefully.
“Remus Lupin.” Sirius said, and Remus spread his arms and did an over-the-top courtesy.
“That would be me,” he said. “Pleased to meet you.”
“My god,” Sirius laughed. “I would never in my life have thought that I would meet you here. How in the fuck do you know Marlene and Dorcas?” Sirius giggled to himself, looking drunker than he’d like to in front of Remus.
“Oh, I met Marlene because she acted in one of our music videos way back, and my band’s music was in Dorcas’ recent film. Besides, Lily and Mary wanted to come, so they dragged me here.” Remus rolled his eyes as if being at an engagement party was more of an amusing inconvenience than a celebration. Sirius thought he was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
“Sirius! Padfoot?” Dorcas was looking for him, wandering through the crowd towards the drink table.
“Over here!” Sirius called Dorcas, shooting an apologetic look at Remus. Remus just smiled, a glow in his hazel eyes.
Dorcas spotted him and walked over. “Padfoot, erm, I saw James,” she said, “he don’t look... so good. Oh, also, Barty and Evan got into a big fight,” Dorcas rolled her eyes. She’d had to put up with their shenanigans for a bit more than a year, as the two of them were the male leads in Meadowes’ Oscar Winning movie. She was significantly drunk, as the 'Dorcas drunkenness scale' had reached stage 5, slurring her words and blinking far too rapidly.
“Thank you, Dork. You’ve had a little alcohol, haven’t you?” Sirius smiled, putting his hand on her shoulder.
“Errrrr, just a smidge” Dorcas replied, making a pinching motion with her fingers. She giggled.
“Right then, let’s get you some water. You want to be sober enough to remember tonight, Dork.”
Dorcas reached up to pat Sirius’ hair, her fingers thumping on his head. “Okey-dokey.”
“Think you’ll need a hand?” Remus asked him. Sirius nodded a little, and so he stepped forward and lightly pressed his hand to Dorcas’ other shoulder.
They led Dorcas to the kitchen and helped her sit down on an empty cooler.
Remus grabbed a cup from a stack of them, and Sirius watched him fill it up. He brought it back to Dorcas, handing it to Sirius without a word.
“Hey dorky,” Sirius said, lifting the cup into her hands. Remus seemed to recognize the nickname and must have thought it amusing, as he did an upside down smile- a smile which Sirius caught with the corner of his eye. For a rock star, he was as soft as gold. Sirius wondered if he truly was as malleable as he seemed.
Dorcas drank the water, but in a distracted way which made her feel both present and absent at once. Sirius figured she was thinking about Marlene. She had been like this for at least 6 months before the two of them had gotten together in the first place. Dorcas reached forward, suddenly, to touch Sirius’ hair. Sirius leaned back, just out of reach.
“Ah,” Dorcas whispered. “I forgot.”
“Forgot what?” Remus asked, looking back at Dorcas as if he had been looking at something else.
“You can’t just touch Sirius’ hair, messer. You’ve got to earn it, you know.” Dorcas nodded drunkenly.
“What? That is in no way true.”
“Yes- Pads, don’t you remember that first hairdresser I introduced you to? Way back, like a year after graduation? You wouldn’t even let her near your precious hair.” Dorcas rolled her eyes and scoffed. Sirius felt that this was an unjust accusation.
“What? Listen, you might not remember, but she had dirt in her fingernails! No hairdresser should have dirty nails.” Sirius shriveled his nose.
“Liar,” Dorcas laughed. Marlene spotted them over her shoulder, coming up from behind Dorcas.
“There you are! How am I supposed to enjoy this party if you aren’t with me, Cas?” Marlene said, wrapping her arms around Dorcas’ shoulders. Her light blonde hair grazed Dorcas’ face, and Dorcas smiled blissfully.
“Padfoot, the love of mine has come. Onward and upwards.”
“She means we’re going to fu-“ Marlene began.
“Bye.” Sirius stood and pulled Remus with him.
Remus followed. He must have been incredibly bored to be so alright with following Sirius around like a puppy.
Sirius looked at him. “Want to come with me and find James? He’s my best friend, and apparently, he’s having a rough go of it.”
Remus did the downward smile again. “Alright.”
Sirius and Remus spent about ten minutes wandering through the crowded party. Their hand lock changed position several times. First, Sirius held Remus’ wrist, and then when he let go to stand on a stool and survey the heads of strangers they were surrounded by, Remus loosely grabbed his hand. Only intertwining their fingers, with their thumbs hanging apart. Their wrists knocked together for the next few minutes. Sirius’ heart pounded.
James Fleamont Potter was found sitting next to a large potted plant. Besides James Fleamont Potter, lying in his embrace, sat a cat. This cat was no ordinary stray cat. It was the cat of Marlene McKinnon. His name was Little Fucker. But everyone who loved him- and her- called him Liffy. Liffy was a black cat with a very gray muzzle. He was a bitch- a “little fucker,” to everyone. Except for Marlene and James. Liffy hated Sirius with a passion. Sirius pretended that it didn’t very deeply hurt his feelings. Whatever, he was a dog person anyway. Liffy was purring, with his (evil) yellow eyes soft and closed. He almost looked, well, like a normal, non-Sirius-despising, cat.
“Is that your James?” Remus asked, looking at him. He was so tall. Sirius liked how he said that. Yes, he thought. That is my James.
“Yep.”
Sirius walked over to James, careful not to disturb the cat.
“Padfoot! Oh, thank goodness you’re here. I am pan-squared-icking!!!” James said, fixing his glasses.
“They’re both here?” Sirius groaned.
James gulped, nodding. Remus looked confused. Remus reached towards the cat, and just before Sirius could warn him about Little Fucker, the bastard sniffed his knobbly hand and licked his finger. Sirius frowned deeply. This is personal, Little Fucker. He glared, and the cat glared back, over Remus’ now soft petting hand.
“Yes, Sirius, both of them. Regulus and Lily. God, I should have known Reg would be here, the handsome bastard, of course, he’d be at the engagement party of the Director and actress he worked with for a whole year, but Lily? Lily Evans? The celebrity crush that I’ve met a solid ten times? She isn’t supposed to be real! She’s a fantasy, Pads. Why does she smile at me? God, I know I don't have a chance with Lily, but I might with Reg, if I stop being a distracted flightless bird.” James wailed, and if he had spoken any louder, he would have alerted Regulus Black, who was standing a significant distance away down the hall. Sirius groaned. He had known about James’ incapability to cope with his feelings, which he had self-labeled “pan-squared-icking” meaning, of course: Pansexual Panicking. [pan panic, if looked at the letters only, can be ((pan)^2ic) which James thought was a smarter play on words than it actually was. James was a nerd about math, of all things. Sirius kind of hated him for it. Who likes math?]
“Lily Evans?” Remus repeated. “Like, from the Valkyries?”
James seemed to just notice him. “Holy budgeting fuck,” he said. “Sirius, am I dreaming, or did Remus Lupin just speak to me.”
Sirius sighed. “James, you are not dreaming.”
James looked back at Sirius, then at Remus again. He smirked, a confident air around him blasting out of nowhere. “My apologies,” he said slowly. “I don’t mean to interrupt anything.”
James was well aware of the “mild” celebrity crush that Sirius had on Remus for a long time. James was inebriated and attempted a wink. Sirius winced at him. “James,” he said, “I came here to help you with your Lily and Reg problem. Although it does, yet again, piss me off that you like my brother. Again.” James nodded and moved his free hand in a ‘yes, yes, go on’ motion.
“What is going on,” Remus whispered to Sirius, and James watched him like a hawk.
“This is James Fleamont Potter. He is Dorcas’ assistant. He is my best friend. I call him Prongs. He has a crush on my younger brother, who is a makeup artist. He also has a hopeless celebrity crush on Lily Evans, your bandmate. James is a dumb, fucking bastard, and so, he cannot decide which one of his infatuations is the better one.”
“Oh.” Remus said. “I could help with that. As long as this James promises not to tell a single soul.”
“He won’t.” Sirius said, giving James a hard look. James nodded.
“Lily is a lesbian.”
James let out a sigh of relief. “That’s terrific news. Now I can detach myself from liking her and just breathe again, around her at least. God, that’s embarrassing, isn’t it?” James laughed at himself.
Remus shrugged. “Nah. You didn’t know. Now, Lily isn’t out of the closet officially, but she doesn’t mind people she- or I, trust, knowing. By telling you this, I want you to know that you better not betray my trust.” There was a sharp edge to Remus’ last words, stern and sincere.
“I understand. I respect her privacy.” James was serious.
“James, this means that you don’t have to overthink every common greeting you ever have with Lily now because you know that she’s not ever going to be interested. You can-“ Sirius groaned, “Never thought I’d say this, but you can freely pursue a romantic relationship with my brother.”
James beamed.
“Right on,” he cheered, springing to his feet. Liffy startled out of his lap, hissing at him. Sirius looked at Little Fucker with the most disdainful look he could muster. James apologized to the cat and strutted off, confidence restored and boosted tenfold. As if the ego the ‘size of a lake’ could even get bigger.
“So,” Remus said, “What are we going to do now?” He was staring at Sirius curiously, his hands in his pockets. Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius saw Liffy stalk off, his tail held high. Bitch, he thought.
“We?” Sirius echoed, looking up at him suddenly. Remus nodded briefly, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to be here right now.” Sirius said, shrugging.
“Want to get out of here?” Remus asked, rolling his eyes at Sirius’ shocked expression at the implication. “I’m requiring some In and Out french fries.”
“Oh,” Sirius echoed. “Yeah. Okay. Let’s go.”
Remus smiled and lifted his hand just enough for Sirius to notice that he had. Sirius took it and thought about the callouses ingrained into Remus’ skin. His body alone is a museum of a life lived, he thought. “Let me grab my purse before we go.”
Sirius was not one who liked to assume. But he did care about his own safety, so getting the purse before he left with a man he had just met was important. As much as he wanted- and trusted- Remus, he had to be sensible.
On their way out the door, Sirius grabbed his black purse, which held a small container of pepper spray. Just enough to be safe. Just in case.
They did not call a cab. Remus found an In and Out on his phone about 10 blocks away. He insisted that they walk, claiming that the night was too beautiful not to be appreciated. Sirius quite liked his philosophy.
Remus was a fast walker. His wonkily long legs had a much larger stride than Sirius,’ who was having to work a little bit harder to keep up. They were both quiet, but rather than it being awkward, it was calm. Sirius felt like he could finally breathe out of his stomach rather than his chest. He was not sure why that felt so important at the time. He did understand it, years later.
“Alright.” Remus said, breaking the peaceful silence. “I have to ask. Did Dorcas call you… Padfoot?” Remus fiddled with his fingers.
Sirius laughed, “Yes. When we were in high school, the two of us spent hours upon hours trying to learn the fancy model walk. I was the only one who got it down, and she called me Padfoot because my footsteps were silent, or something. Kind of stuck, I guess.”
“I love that you call Dorcas Meadowes, the renowned and Oscar-winning director, Dork. Where in the world did that come from?” Remus asked with a smirk.
“She’d deny it if you asked her, but she was obsessed with Star Wars in high school. I thought it was extremely funny. She had posters and t-shirts, and she would make fan films for our digital media class.” Sirius snickered. “She’s like my sister, and I think her dorky side is hilarious and amazing. Just as amazing, if not more, than her Oscar-winning, big, important, director side.”
“I bet that Marlene agrees,” Remus said. “Funny how people spend their whole lives striving and working their asses off to win awards or to achieve status or recognition, but that is never what the people close to them truly love them for.”
“Er, you lost me there,” Sirius muttered, and Remus did not scoff at him.
“You know, when you talk about Dorcas, you don’t mention her big accomplishments, like how she portrayed characters in her film or won awards. You talk about a person that you know and love. On a personal level.”
“Oh.”
Remus kept talking. He seemed to be in the mood for it, looking up at the stars as he did so.
“That’s something that’s always been missing from my relationships. I’d date a guy or girl who wanted to date Remus Lupin, the Valkyrie. Not me.”
“Then who is that?” Sirius asked.
Remus scrunched up his nose. “What?”
“If you want someone to love you for you, you can’t have any walls up. Tell me exactly who you are. Tell me all your odd habits, and your deep secrets, and your mistakes and shame, and tell me about what made you who you are.” Sirius stated, and Remus looked at his feet.
“Alright. My best friend in college was named Pandora. They were the reason I ever started playing music. They took their own life two years after we graduated and I have always blamed myself for not keeping in touch with them, not as well as I could have.” Remus’ words were heavy, and his face seemed to ache with regret. Sirius stayed quiet, and let him keep talking. He felt that Remus needed to talk like this, to cut himself open and lay himself out to be seen. Sirius would support him when he finished, no matter what.
“My father was a bastard. He abused my mother up until I was 5 years old, and then he started hitting me too. My mother’s name was Hope. She had always put up with him tormenting her like that, but once he turned on me she had enough. My mother put me in her car and had us run away. On our drive across the state line, we got in an accident. Hope was fine after a month or so in the hospital. But I took longer. That’s where I got all these horrid scars.” Remus closed his eyes when he said that, and Sirius wanted more than anything to just prove to him that it wasn’t true. His scars were- well, they weren’t horrid. Sirius wanted to hug him, to hold him, and comfort him. Instead, he just met Remus’ gaze and nodded.
“My father never found us and our escape was as successful as you could call that. My mother and I were always close, though. She was the nicest woman. She liked chamomile and daisies, and her favorite color was teal. She was so proud of my music career, and she loved Lily and Mary. She practically adopted Lily after she moved out of her parents' home. For every one of my concerts, I get one backstage pass to give for free. I gave her the backstage pass to every one of them so she could watch them. She always came.” Remus swallowed. Like the love and grief he felt were rising up his throat and threatening to choke him.
“I haven’t used that backstage pass since she passed away last year. She had, erm, she had lung cancer.” Remus looked raw. Whatever processing of his emotions he had done to grieve his mother had clearly not been enough.
“Remus, I’m so sorry.” Sirius said, lightly tugging his sleeve so that Remus would stop walking with him. Remus obliged, swaying on his feet. “Can I hug you?” Sirius asked, and Remus lifted his eyes to meet Sirius’.
“I’d like that.” Remus whispered, and Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ torso, pushing himself up into his tippy toes. Remus sank into the hug, exhaling deeply. He buried his nose into Sirius’ leather jacket, and his chest trembled with the breath of an almost cry. Sirius just hugged him harder.
“She loved the moon.” Remus said, “She used to call me her Moony, because I loved it too.” He let out a breathy laugh. “I used to wake her up in the middle of the night to ask her to tell me which stars were in the sky.”
“Moony.” Sirius repeated, squeezing him one final time before letting him go.
Remus’ eyes were shiny. He nodded. “You’re welcome to call me that too if you’d like. You’re very fond of nicknames, I can tell.” Remus smiled up at Sirius at the end, the corners of his eyes crinkling.
“I would be honored,” Sirius said. “Moony.”
A special kind of light lit in Remus’ eyes. One he hadn’t seen before. One he needed to see again. And again. And again. For forever.
Remus hesitated. “I don’t know exactly how to put it, but I feel like I need to be Moony again. To someone. I can’t be Remus Lupin to everybody, you know? Somebody’s got to love me for Moony.”
“I know what you mean,” Sirius began.
“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean it like ‘you call me moony so you can love me.’ Sorry. I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I swear.” Remus stumbled, flustered.
It was Sirius’ turn to do an upside-down smile. He hadn’t meant to, of course. Normally, he avoided making that expression, because some photographer had said that it made his cheeks look odd four years ago. For the first time, that comment slipped his mind.
“Don’t worry, Moony. I get it.”
Remus looked at him with a red face. His shoulders relaxed like he was melting.
“Uh, that’s all the deep stuff I can think of, for now.” Remus cleared his throat after a moment. “Your turn.”
Sirius nodded. “Okay, here goes: My name is Sirius Orion Black. I have a younger brother. I am not close with my younger brother, because my childhood was very traumatic. My mother is an extremely cruel woman, and I was too young at the time to notice how she used her abuse to drive my younger brother and I apart. Now, we can’t be in the same room without fighting or at least one of us breaking down. I hate her for it. It’s not a problem I will ever be able to fix.”
Remus tugged his sleeve to get them walking again. He made eye contact though, to tell Sirius that he was listening.
“I have anger issues. I'm dramatic, and when the slightest thing goes wrong, I snap. I lash out at people when I'm angry, which is a lot more often than you’d think. I fucking hate the sport of American football, and I love Queen, but then again, who doesn’t? I like wearing leather and sunglasses and acting tougher than I am. I love it when my friends call me Padfoot. Or Pads. I don’t think I am cisgender. I’m not really sure how to explain it, but I don’t always feel like I’m a man. But that doesn’t mean that I always feel like a woman. Sometimes I'm nothing. I’m just me.”
Remus sucked in a breath. “First, I want you to know that it’s okay to lash out when you’re angry. As long as you hold yourself accountable for your actions, apologize, and work to make yourself better, it’s okay. Anger isn’t just normal. It’s human. It’s okay to be human. I also hate football. And everyone loves Queen. Everyone sensible at least. Leather jackets and sunglasses are hot. And they’re your style. You don’t owe anyone strength for dressing how you would like to.” Remus sneezed, swiveling his whole body away from Sirius.
“Excuse me,” he grumbled, and Sirius laughed.
“Bless you,” Sirius replied, even though he wasn’t religious.
“Anyway, I’d like to say that I knew about the nickname thing. I knew you loved them.” Remus continued, smiling. “As for the gender, I’ll tell you one thing. Figuring out who you are is a long, shitty road. But the road does have an end. And listen. No person that cares about you will ever give you shit for identifying as something other than a man. I won’t, I’m 100% sure that your close friends don’t, and I’m pretty sure your fan base won’t, because a lot of them are LGBTQ+ too. I'm not sure if you’ve heard of Gender-fluid, but I’d advise you to look into that. My friend Pandora was gender-fluid. I loved them just as much as I did my cis friends. All you have to do is just tell me which pronouns you would like me to use and I’ll use them. In college, I would tell my new friends, 'I might forget your name, but I'll never forget your pronouns.’ Hah. And I never did.” Remus grinned. “Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I hear you, and your experience is valid. I will always listen to you, and call you what you want me to call you. That will never be a problem for me. You are the person that you are, and I may have known you for what?” Remus looked at his watch. “Three hours? But I can already tell that you are one of the most amazing people I will ever meet.” Remus ran a hand through his hair.
“Thank you,” Sirius whispered, still processing everything Remus had said.
“Now, I am dying for these french fries,” Remus said as he opened the door to the In and Out for Sirius.
Sirius smiled and followed him inside.
“Hey, Pads.” Remus whispered, close to Sirius’ ear. “Got any pronoun requests?”
“Not yet,” Sirius whispered back. “I’m still figuring things out. But thank you. It means a lot.”
Remus winked at him. “Of course.”
Sirius watched Remus order fries for the both of them, smiling when the cashier recognized Remus. She had lit up like a flashlight, probably exhausted from her job at 2 in the morning. This had clearly been the best part of her shift if not her whole week. She’d managed to get a selfie with him and had given him a millisecond of a hug. Sirius was happy to see how kind Remus was, but his heart ached to remember that this was how Remus’ life was all the time. Sirius rarely got recognized, and he was grateful for it. Being kind to the random fans you come across on the street must get tiring at some point.
They got their fries and sat down in the corner of the restaurant.
After munching happily for a minute or two, Sirius asked Remus the question he had been wondering. “Does it ever bother you when strangers greet you in public? When they request a selfie or a hug?”
Remus shrugged. “Nah. They’re always nice. And I wouldn’t be where I am without them. It’s so wonderful to see their faces because each one of my fans has been so helpful in allowing me to pursue my dream. I owe it to them in return to be kind, even though it can sometimes slow down my route. It’s a part of life, I think. If you receive kindness, you’ve got to give it back. Every drop that you can.”
Sirius smiled at him. “That’s so sweet.”
Remus smiled and scrunched up his nose. “That’s me,” he snickered. “sweet little Moony.”
Sirius laughed. Remus kept his head tilted down, but Sirius felt his eyes look up through his lashes at Sirius.
“Hey Sirius.” Remus’ expression was thoughtful.
“Yes?”
“What was the cat’s name?”
“Little Fucker.” Sirius laughed again.
“What?” Remus choked.
“He’s Marlene’s cat,” Sirius said. “He hates everyone except for Marlene and James. And apparently you.”
Remus gasped. “He doesn’t like you?”
“He unjustly does not.” Sirius sniffed. “I don’t care though. I’m a dog person.”
Remus’ eyes lit up. “No way! Me too! I have a dog!”
Sirius smiled. “really? what’s its name?”
“Her name is Snuffles.” Remus answered, “She’s a pit bull mix. She’s sweet, cuddly, and the most perfect dog.”
“She sounds amazing.”
“She is.”
“I would love to meet her one day.”
“Today is a day.” Remus said, staring at him from across the table.
“Trying to lure me home, Moony?” Sirius teased. Remus went scarlet.
“No,” he mumbled. “I just really want you to meet my dog.”
“Great!” Sirius sprung to his feet, crumpling up the fry container he had finished.
“We’re going?” Remus beamed.
Sirius smiled at him. “Can’t believe I'm going to the home of a rock star.”
“And meeting his dog!” Remus made a toothy grin.
“I mean, you are no Freddie Mercury, or David Bowie, or Taylor Swift.” Sirius grinned at him, watching his expression turn from childish excitement to a solemn wistfulness.
“True. Bummer that you can’t go to their homes instead.”
“I know,” Sirius said. “They’re hard to live up to.”
“Hard to beat Taylor Swift.” Remus said, laughing.
“Even as a rock star?” Sirius jokes.
Remus nodded seriously. “Have you heard Better than Revenge? Impossible to beat.”
“I fucking love Better Than Revenge,” Sirius said, holding the door open for Remus to follow him out of the In and Out.
“When we get back to my studio, we can play it,” Remus added, having calmed down a lot since the mention of Snuffles.
“Fuck yeah!” Sirius cheered. Someone glared at him from across the street, but he didn’t care. That stranger could fuck off.
“Hey, Pads.” Remus said, and Sirius paused to look back at him. “This might sound kind of… early, or odd, or presumptuous, but would you like that backstage ticket? At the Valkyrie’s next concert?”
“I would be honored, Moony. That sounds amazing.”
Remus smiled. “Okay. cool.”
“I can’t believe I'm walking next to you on the sidewalk, right now.” Remus quirked an eyebrow at Sirius when he said this. “You’re so much more real than I expected.”
“Dreams aren't ever as good as you think they are,” Remus warned, a sadness in his eyes.
“Untrue,” Sirius said. “Once I had a dream that I was going to eat a donut, but a bug crawled out of it and it was really gross. When I woke up, I had a donut and it was everything I hoped it would have been in the dream and more.”
Remus’ nose scrunched up, and he snickered. “Oddly specific,” he teased.
“Say what you want,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Best donut I’ve ever had.”
“God, you’re making me hungry,” Remus groaned, leaning his head back.
“What? We literally just ate,” Sirius laughed, and Remus nodded, “I’m always hungry, baby.”
Sirius felt like his pupils dilated at that word. He looked at the sidewalk, suddenly very interested in his own shoes.
“What?” Remus asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
“Nope,” Sirius said, feeling guilty. “I’m just cold.”
“Oh, have my jacket.” Remus took off the brown jacket that he’d been wearing, helping Sirius put it on, refusing to listen to Sirius’ mild protests.
“This is so fucking warm,” Sirius gasped, “how does that even work?”
Remus laughed, throwing his head back just a little. “It’s the ugliest jacket,” he cackled, “but I’ve kept it forever because it’s warm and comfortable. Mary has spent years trying to convince me to replace it or stop wearing it, but I haven’t. And I won’t.” He turned his head to look at Sirius, the smile on his face reaching his eyes.
“I wouldn’t blame you,” Sirius said. “All the stuff I’m paid to wear is uncomfortable.”
Remus hummed. “But anything you wear is automatically pretty.”
“Yeah, right.” Sirius laughed. Remus held his eye seriously, inclining his head toward him.
Remus reached toward him, and Sirius’ heart stopped. Remus looped his hand around Sirius’ wrist, lifting it up. Sirius held his breath as Remus twisted his wrist to show the inner cuff of the jacket, which was embroidered with a small crescent moon, thin bold silver against the tawny brown coat.
“I did that,” Remus whispered. It didn’t seem important that he say that, but when he did, Sirius looked up from the cuff of the jacket into Remus’ eyes.
“Is there anything on the other sleeve?” Sirius inquired, drawn into Remus’ gaze. “Seems like you’re missing a star.”
Remus’ cheeks flushed bright red, and he looked away with a smile.
Remus had stopped walking, and Sirius looked back at him with a flash of confusion. Had he done something wrong?
“My studio is up here,” Remus said, pointing to a gated staircase. “Would you like to join me?”
Sirius paused for a second, knowing that he would love to join Remus but also wanting to hold him in suspense.
“I would love to,” he smiled.
Remus led him up the stairs, and down a hall. He unlocked a sage green door with a golden key, and it creaked as he opened it. He walked into the dark room, flicking on a light by his left. The light bloomed gold, and Sirius felt like he was walking up to heaven when he stepped into the room after Moony.
“My bass is over there,” Remus pointed to a wall covered in instruments. There were guitars, a violin, several basses, a keyboard, and a pile of speakers. “It’s soundproofed super well, so we can be as loud as we want.” He looked at Sirius before he processed the meaning of his own words, and his cheeks went crimson. “Play Taylor Swift songs as loud as we want, I mean.”
In the light of the studio, Sirius could see all of Remus’ scars that had been hidden by the jacket. They spun around his arms like ribbons. They looked like gold.
“Hey, I’ll turn on the music, alright?” Moony’s eyes flicked to meet his as he turned away. Sirius nodded, entranced by him. Sirius was a star, but Remus was a constellation, a connection between flames millions of miles apart, making art in the night sky, even if you didn’t know it was there. Well, now Sirius knew it was there, and it was all he could see.
“Which song?” Remus asked, interrupting his thoughts.
“Better Than Revenge,” Sirius replied automatically. As if there was any other option, he thought.
“Right,” Remus grinned.
“You should play it!” Sirius said, pointing to his instrument wall.
Remus nodded and grabbed the bass, which was already plugged in. He pressed a button on a laptop and the guitar riff started.
Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did
Sirius sat down on a stool, watching Moony start to play along with the music. His fingers slid up and down the fretboard deftly, and a smile grew on his face.
“Sing,” Sirius said, and he wasn’t sure if Remus took it as a cheer or a command, but he did it regardless.
The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and,
I had it all I had him right there where I wanted him
Remus sang, his voice deep and smooth, like silk. His voice decorated the air between them like electricity, like magnetism. Sirius felt drawn towards him and pushed away from him all at once. Remus didn’t notice Sirius’ conflicted thoughts, because every ounce of his attention was directed to the song.
She came along, got him alone, and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you could say sabotage
I never saw it coming, nor would I have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from
Remus sang that last line with a smirk and a scoff, adding a victorious glance at Sirius that left him echoing. His eyes were half-lidded and glowing, in a specific way that Sirius hadn’t seen yet. His lips curled over his teeth, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to kiss him.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Remus leaned his head back and struck the chord in the repetitive rhythm of the song, closing his eyes. He looked like a painting, bathed in golden light. Sirius thought he could never tear his eyes away.
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha
She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling
And, she thinks I'm psycho
'Cause I like to rhyme her name with things, but
Sophistication isn't what you wear, or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
Oh they didn't teach you that in prep school
So it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity
“That could be debated,” Sirius called to Remus, who turned and smiled at him with a laugh. Sirius felt a burst of pride at making him laugh like that, and tucked his hair behind his ear.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey
You might have him, but haven't you heard
I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at honey
You might have him, but I'll always get the last word
With every pause in the song, every breath that Remus took, he stole a glance at Sirius, who was watching him and beaming. He would look away with a smile and a slightly redder look on his cheeks. Sirius stood up, and Remus watched him as he walked up to him and began to sing with him. Sirius didn’t know how Remus could look like he was giving Sirius 100% of his attention, but still playing the song perfectly.
She's not a saint and she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known for the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys on the playground
Won't make you many friends
She should keep in mind,
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge, ha
Sirius wasn’t as talented as Remus was (or at least he thought so), and his voice was slightly higher and quieter, but Remus seemed to love it. Their voices began to harmonize, and they both smiled at each other as they sang.
And do you still feel like you know what you're doing,
'Cause I don't think you do, oh
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing
I don't think you do, I don't think you do
Let's hear the applause
C'mon show me how much better you are
See you deserve some applause
'Cause you're so much better
She took him faster than you could say sabotage
Remus hit the last chord and swung the strap of the bass over his head, placing it back on the wall. Sirius puffed, out of breath from that vocal exercise. In his own job, he was paid to shut up and look pretty, so this was a bit out of his comfort zone.
“Thank you for doing this with me,” Remus said, staring into Sirius’ eyes. Sirius felt his face get just a little bit redder.
“Happy to do it,” Sirius smiled. “I mean, that was basically the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” he pushed air out of his lungs with another heaving breath.
Remus smiled in that fucking intoxicating upside-down way, and his eyes gleamed. “You think I’m hot?” He whispered, and his tone was steel knives, slicing every bit of self restraint Sirius had in him.
“So hot,” Sirius murmured, leaning towards him. “You look like a fucking Renaissance painting, Moony.”
Remus blushed harder than he had the entire night. He suddenly couldn’t meet Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius’ brain flooded with what could only be described as excited screaming. That adorable fucking blush, Moony. Help.
“Well, I’m glad you think so, as I’ve been attempting to flirt with you literally this entire night.” Remus admitted, still turned to the side. Sirius tilted his head and leaned closer.
“Really?”
“Oh yeah. Hardcore flirting.” Remus grinned and looked back. “I’m not great at it, can you tell?”
Sirius rolled his eyes, “No, In and Out french fries are exactly how a man wins my heart.”
“Perfect,” Remus said, “all according to plan.”
“Did you really want french fries?” Sirius heard himself asking, “Or did you just want to steal me away?”
Remus thought for a moment and then answered. “I want to take all of your attention all of the time, and how in the world could I compete with every fucking drunk ass friend of yours?” He smirked. “I really did want french fries. You were an added bonus.”
“I’m not an ‘added bonus,’ Moony, I’m an earthquake.” Sirius stuck out his tongue at him. Remus shook his head. “Sticking with the math references, Padfoot, you’re an exponent. Something that so radically changed the boring, stale trajectory of my evening. Something that has inspired dramatic, serious,” he winked at this, and Sirius blushed back at him, “change in my life.”
“Thank you, but I really don’t get whatever that means. I fucking hate math.” Sirius frowned. (He really wished he could remember whatever lovely thing Remus had called him, but he had no idea what an exponent was, especially after purging every memory of high school math that he had acquired.
Remus reached towards him and grabbed the collar of the jacket he had given Sirius. “Alright, Mr. Bad-At-Math, I have a question for you. It’s been killing me all night.”
“I have an answer.” Sirius replied, looking up into his eyes.
“Dorcas said that one must earn permission to touch the hair of the elusive Sirius Black.”
“Yes. And?”
Remus’ eyes were heavy, sucking Sirius into them like gravity. “Is there anything I can do to earn it?” he asked.
Sirius pretended to think for a moment. “Kiss me,” He smiled. He could have said he was joking if Remus didn’t, but Remus grinned, grabbing the sides of Sirius’ face and moving in for a kiss immediately. It was softer than Sirius expected it to be and shorter.
Remus paused and drew back, looking into each of Sirius’ eyes. “Like that?” He whispered.
Sirius reached out to grab the collar of his shirt, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. Remus kissed him back, and Sirius could feel him smiling against his lips.
Deep in their kiss, Sirius reached for Remus’ hand, lifting it to his hair. Remus took the signal and threaded both of his hands through Sirius’ silky hair.
“I promise I don't have dirt in my nails.” Remus whispered with a smile.
“I know. I checked earlier.” Sirius giggled in the tiniest, loosest voice.
“Of course you did,” Remus smiled, leaning his head forward for what Sirius thought would be another kiss. It wasn’t. Remus touched the tip of his nose to Sirius’ nose. Sirius looked up into his eyes.
Fuck the stars, he thought. I like the dying grass hazel of your eyes.
Remus Lupin spotted downtown with Sirius Black! What could this mean for the Valkyries’ Upcoming Album?
Remus Lupin, Winner of 4 Grammy’s, was spotted with renowned supermodel Sirius Black last week. Remus Lupin and his band, the Valkyries, will be going on tour in December of this year, with the announcement of a new album. Sources have suggested that the budding relationship between Sirius Black and Remus Lupin may be the subject of the songs, which will with no doubt be just as impressive as the Valkyries' last albums.
Remus Lupin and Sirius Black were spotted nearby the Valkyries’ Record Label, seen holding hands and sharing intense conversations. Sources captured pictures of them, with Remus Lupin wearing a patterned jumper with a leather jacket atop it, which is unlike his usual style. Even more out of character, Sirius Black was seen sporting a frankly hideous brown jacket atop his black tee. While the fashion choices of these famous icons of our age may not seem like an important detail, the pictures of Sirius and his brown jacket revealed embroidered designs on each sleeve. While the picture may be fuzzy, these embroidered details appear to be handmade. Is there any relevance to Sirius and these two? Or the embroidered silver crescent moon, and silver star? Click Here For More Information and Speculation!