Chapter 11
July-August 2007—Andromeda Tonks
After Rita Skeeter told me the whole story of how she had listened in on my sessions with Harry Potter, I imprisoned her in the owner’s lodgings above Flourish and Blotts; I then went outside and made the door and all the windows impossible to unlock with the Alohomora charm. I then went to the Ministry of Magic. It was now headed by Kingsley Shacklebolt, who was in the Order of the Phoenix—an organisation founded by Dumbledore to fight Voldemort—with my daughter Nymphadora during the Second Wizarding War. Kingsley looked at the parchment on which Rita Skeeter’s Quick-Quotes Quill transcribed what she told me, and he said he would send some members of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad to Flourish and Blotts immediately, to take Rita to the Ministry, where she would tell her whole story to the Wizengamot even if more Veritaserum was needed. Kingsley wrote a memo to the Magical Law Enforcement Squad explaining the situation, and then magically sent it where it needed to go. (As you might remember from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, the Ministry is not a suitable place to use owls to deliver mail, as they cannot go outside to do their business—so there were owl droppings all over the desks when the Ministry tried to use owls.)
Kingsley did wonder how J,K. Rowling’s disappearance could be kept secret from the Muggle world—but he thought of a solution to that problem. He threw some Floo powder into the fireplace in his office and shouted, “Flourish and Blotts!”. Once Kingsley’s office fire was connected to the fireplace at Flourish and Blotts, he said, “Mr. Potter, this is Minister Shacklebolt. Are you still at Flourish and Blotts? Andromeda has come to talk to me about what Rita Skeeter did to you.” He knew that Harry was there because it said so on the transcript of Rita Skeeter’s story. Harry’s voice said through the fireplace, “Yes, Minister. I am still at Flourish and Blotts. Do you need me to come to your office?” “That would be excellent,” replied Kingsley. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.” Once Harry came into Kingsley’s office, Kingsley told Harry, “With your job as an Auror, you’re uniquely positioned to go to Azkaban—which you know is no longer guarded by Dementors, but rather by Aurors rotated in from the mainland—and get some of Rita Skeeter’s hair to use for Polyjuice Potion. You need to get one of your friends to pose as Rita Skeeter whenever she appears in public in the Muggle world as J.K. Rowling—it’s the only way we can keep J.K. Rowling’s disappearance a secret from the Muggle world. The Muggles would suspect that something fishy was going on if J.K. Rowling disappeared with no explanation, and the Statute of Secrecy might be violated if they investigated too much.” “All this secrecy is really doing more harm than good now, isn’t it, Minister?” said Harry. “But if you insist that the Statute of Secrecy needs to be maintained, I will find a friend who’s willing to pose as J.K. Rowling. Hermione is Muggle-born—and she remained knowledgeable about Muggle technology even after entering the Wizarding world, thanks to the one year she spent taking a Muggle Studies class at Hogwarts—so she can run all of J.K. Rowling’s online accounts. Much as she hates Rita, though, you’ll have to ask her in person whether she’s willing to impersonate Rita using Polyjuice Potion to cover up her disappearance, when Hermione of all people knows that Rita totally deserves any consequences she gets.
A few days later, the trial of Rita Skeeter happened. Harry and I both were the plantiffs; thankfully, the Wizengamot believed that I would never have chosen for this to happen, and I wasn’t making a single Knut from the publication of the Harry Potter books. The Wizengamot had to take my word for it on that matter; because I am trained in Occlumency—which can be used to resist the effects of Veritaserum—as part of my job, my testimony would not be any more reliable if I was given Veritaserum. Rita Skeeter was sent to Azkaban, while Hermione grudgingly agreed to impersonate Rita’s alter ego J.K. Rowling in the Muggle world; Harry, also a victim of Rita Skeeter’s crimes, agreed to go to Azkaban and collect Rita’s hair for Hermione to put in her Polyjuice Potion. The Ministry would pay for the ingredients Hermione needed to brew the potion herself (which she had been able to do since her second year at Hogwarts), as it was not by her own choice that she was impersonating Rita Skeeter, a.k.a. J.K. Rowling. Hermione and Harry—as well as all of Harry’s other friends, as well as his wife Ginny (née Weasley) were fully aware of the injustice of the Potter books continuing to be sold in the Muggle world when their less-than-ethical origins could only be known in the Wizarding world.
As part of the damages awarded not only to Harry, but to all of Rita’s stalking victims, the Ministry would pay Obscurus Books to publish these very words (albeit only in the Wizarding world), in an attempt to destroy the commercial success of the Potter books with their less-than-ethical origins.
THE END