Conversation's and changes.
With everyone being busy starting the new year and the teachers already having to deal with his brother's little club of mischief, Regulus found himself alone for most of Saturday. So he walked to the far east side of the castle, a small patch of grass that is hidden behind castle walls and an overhanging tree. It's a surreal place, with the vines that climb the walls and the candle lit lantern in the archway. Barely anyone goes there or knows about it.
It's a small space but if you sit in the right spot you can see the sky through the trees and you can see the lake, the mountains and the forest that goes on for miles. Regulus sit's there for most of the day and night, just writing.
Shame.
It would be so easy to shift the blame,
to hate you and to save my pride,
but all I hated was the moment that my faith turned to shame,
for believing that you'd stand by my side.
As the sunset someone walked into the small box, Regulus looked up from his book to see Pandora. She wore a long skirt with a jumper and a cardigan on, her hair was down but some of it was plaited. She didn't say anything as she walked up to him nor did she when she sat next to him.
He moved slightly so she could see him writing and he normally wouldn't. He would keep it hidden and a secret, kept the words for himself but if he wanted to? Why shouldn't he share them? Pandora wouldn't say anything, not about his poetry.
She smiled softly at the gesture and made herself comfortable as she read the page of full poetry. "That's amazing, Reg." She whispered, her voice floated around the space.
"It's supposed to be sad." He told her solemnly as he stared at the other blank page.
"It's heartbreakingly amazing." She told him once more, still smiling softly and as relaxed as ever.
"How can something be heartbreakingly amazing?" He asked rhetorically as he began to write once more. Pandora just looked at Regulus with a faint smile before she leaned her head against his shoulder, letting her hair fall against his back.
And as he wrote the start to another poem she watched. It was a different type of vulnerability for someone to be watching him write. Different from how he felt standing across from his mother and different from when he stood in that room with Voldemort.
She was watching the words that came straight from his mind and sometimes what he says isn't right, it doesn't match the poem or it doesn't rhyme. You have to redo some parts and someone watching you do that, watching the words that come from your heart to be written into something tangible. Yea, it definitely makes you feel vulnerable.
"I meant it, when I said you're my soulmate." She speaks, Regulus stops his writing for a second and tries to look at her but she's still looking at the page. He doesn't know what to say but Pandora carries on anyway. "People think soulmates are like an exact copy of the person you are but I think- for me, soulmates are people that push you. That makes you question what you think and why you do things, soulmates make you feel like you're home- even if you’re different. They make you feel safe." Pandora told him.
"I make you feel safe?" Regulus asked. Maybe it's because Regulus had never thought about home and thought about safety, maybe because he hadn't thought about home not being a place either. He hadn’t really thought of himself as anything other than his parents' child, Walburga and Orion’s son, other than recently.
"Of course you do." Pandora answers, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Regulus doesn't reply, his throat too closed off and dry to answer. He isn’t really sure he deserves her trust but it’s something he’d want to work for. She doesn't say anything else, just takes his hand.
Saturday is full of everyone unpacking and getting their time tables. Regulus spent the entire day writing, reading and talking with Evan. Dorcas spent the day getting to know her new roommates for the next year, there was a problem with her last roommate. Nobody knows what happened, still. Pandora and Barty spent the day together in the library getting the 'premium' new book's that come at the start of every year, they do this every year and get made fun of every year.
"Good morning, sunshine~" Barty calls out, early Sunday morning. The sun is just starting to rise and the sky is full of pastels. He pokes Regulus in the cheek once more, "Sunshine~" He calls out again and Regulus stir’s, Barty pokes his face again and Regulus blinks open his eyes to find Barty's face just inches from his own.
He flails so hard he falls off his bed, his duvet following him and wrapping him up on the floor. "BARTY!" He screams, waking up Evan with a startled look. "Wha- append?" He slurred, trying to blink himself awake. Barty just laughs, bending over as he gasps for air.
"How the fuck did you get in here? It's the second day! How did you even find our room? Why are you even here?" Regulus bombards him with questions as he stares at him angrily.
Unfortunately for Regulus he is still on the floor, covered in his blanket with his arms crossed. "I am going to hurt you." Regulus warns, Barty continues to laugh. "Keep laughing. Keep fucking laughing." Barty yelps as Regulus jumps over the bed and tackles him to the floor. He manages to escape and tries to run, Regulus twirls his fingers and the dagger Bellatrix gave him appears.
"You better fucking run!" Regulus shouted from the doorway as he threw the dagger down the hall, unfortunately missing Barty and clinking off the wall. Someone opened the door to the room next to theirs and poked their head out, looking at Regulus tiredly. Regulus was taken aback for a second and just nodded at the person before holding an open palm for the dagger and slamming the door very quickly once it appeared back.
"How is he so giddy in the morning's." Evan sighed as he stretched on the bed. Shaking his head Regulus goes back over to his bed, his shoulder started to ache as he sat down. He really should be taking it easy, he sighed as he rubbed his shoulder. Evan stood from his bed and made his way over.
Regulus noticed, "I'm fine, it's nothing- must've hit it when I landed. Barty's a dick." He shook his head and tried to laugh it off. Evan didn't seem convinced, he looked at his friend with confused and sad eyes.
He takes a breath before speaking, "You know, I meant it when I said we could talk about it later." He told him, Regulus understands immediately. His mind flooded with screams, crying and death. "It's later." He stands awkwardly as he tries to prompt his friend to talk.
"It- It was nothing." Regulus dismissed because he wouldn't put his friend in danger like that.
"You know you can talk to me about anything." He pushes because it's true. Regulus has talked to Evan many times about sensitive things. Things Sirius doesn't even know and that list just keeps getting longer, now he's thinking about Sirius again.
"I know I can." He looks his friend in the eye, he's not lying. "But I.." He stumbles for a second, he really- "..can't." He wants to look apologetic, maybe even feel sad for keeping something that he would usually share. Evan was the first person he ever talked to about his family, probably will be the only one now. He couldn't feel bad though, he was sparing him so much pain if they were found out. Evan watches his friend with furrowed eyebrows, confused at why he can't. He doesn't push more but doesn't like the haunted look that has taken over the other's features. The deadness in his eyes.
"I can't wait for Care of magic creatures to start," He says softly. Hoping that he can at least distract his friend from his misery.
"Why's that?" Regulus whispers and Evan is grateful. So incredibly grateful for his friend, that he may never truly understand it.
"I've been told that Professor Sprout and Hagrid are going to be doing a lot more joint lessons this year..." Evan continues to talk, to talk about everything he can think of. Magical creatures, Professor's, student's, anything. He continues to talk, bringing over books and timetables to compare. They talk and talk, Regulus's embarrassment is lost in conversations and discussions. In questions and debates. Evan hadn’t even brought up the dagger, too tired to really think about it.
Hours later they are both reading on their sides of the room. In a comfortable silence. Regulus decided to, finally, find out why his time table was not full and he had no Charm classes. So he stood up from his bed, closing his notebook and leaving on top of his desk, he slid on his black shoes and pulled on a cardigan over his dark green and brown cotton plaid shirt. "Where you off to?" Evan asks from the doorway as he walks back into the room.
"Just to see a Professor," Regulus answers back before he leaves the room. Evan follows as he eats nuts from one of his hands, "want one?" He held out his hand and Regulus just stared at him with a raised eyebrow until he pulled away. "Could've just said no." Evan mumbled sarcastically as he continued to eat them. "What Professor we seein'?" He asks as they walk down the circular stairs.
Regulus rolled his eyes, "We?"
"Yes, we." Evan continued to walk into the common room with Regulus behind him, they could hear voices talking but couldn't understand what they were saying until they got into the room.
"It was so cool," Someone whispered dramatically.
"Did you see... him?" A younger voice asked as they leaned forwards along with the others crowded around.
"We did." That simple answer caused gasps of excitement as the younger group looked at each other with smiles of amazement.
"Saw who?" Evan asked as they walked behind the couch, Regulus rolled his eyes and continued to walk. Evan is incredibly nosy.
"The Dark Lord." Mulciber said, in no more hushed tones. 'Voldemort?' Regulus questioned internally as he stopped walking and turned around.
"You were there too and him." Mulciber pointed at Regulus, not wanting to actively engage in conversation with him. Regulus just shook his head and stayed quiet.
"I heard," Avery started next to him as he turned to look at Regulus. "That you got to see him up close." Attention was now on Regulus, he didn't want to be thinking about what happened that night. Evan had moved closer to him, trying to present as a wall. "In that meeting you got pulled to, what happened in there?" He was curious Regulus knew that was the only reason he was asking and not because he knew what had happened.
Regulus didn't answer for a second. "Nothing-" 'Please.' He heard her whisper, "Nothing happened."
Evan was next to Regulus now, moving to leave the room. "Let's go," He ushered Regulus to follow.
"Come on, we are just curious-" 'Please- I didn't-' , "What happened in there?" Mulciber asked.
'I didn't want to-'
"Fuck off Mulciber, I'm busy."
"He's just trying to have a conversation, no need to be so sensitive." Snape chimed in as he defended Mulciber, the others laughed.
“Sensitive?” Evan repeated, “Says the one who only became a prefect to give detentions to Gryffindors. Sounds awfully sensitive- or maybe it’s jealousy actually.”
They all reared back in disgust. “Jealous? Of some prickly lions?” Snape asked and then he smirked. “The only one of us that’d be jealous of lions is Black.”
Evan rolled his eyes, “I’m actually starting to get jealous of them not having to hear you in the morning.”
“You were replaced by lions weren’t you?” Snape ignored Evan in favour of looking behind him at Regulus. No one has to ask for clarification about what that meant.
His wand appeared in his hand, “Perhaps I should replace your body with your corpse.” Regulus stared, head tilting as if he was actually thinking to do it.
“You’re insane-” Mulciber piped up from the couch, eyes rolling.
“Don’t forget it.” Regulus said back forcefully before leaving the room, not waiting for a response. Evan following closely as he shook his head.
They don't get far before they are bumping into someone again, Evan notices him first and he taps Regulus on the arm. A warning.
"Oh, Hello Mr. Black." The man said, Regulus turned to him sharply. Looking at him and feeling confused.
"Hello?" He parroted back, unsure of who this man was.
"How's being back at Hogwarts?" He asked, smiling charmingly at him. Regulus couldn't help the suspicious feeling he got, he looked at the man with confusion. "It's fine." He said.
The man nodded politely before exclaiming, "Ah!" Evan jumped back from him as he made wild movements with his arms. "I should introduce myself, I am the new potions teacher at Hogwarts. Professor Babbling." He held out his hand for Regulus to shake and he took it with much hesitance. Evan cleared his throat and gained the attention from the Professor, who looked surprised there was someone else there. "Ah, your friend?" He gestured to Evan as he looked at Regulus. "You must be Mr. Rosier. Pleasure." He held out for Evans as well.
"Pleasure." Evan mocked as he shook his hand before steering Regulus away. "We should get going." Evan looked at Regulus before he gave a stiff nod to the professor.
"Oh, you must be busy. Start of the year and everything." The Professor laughed, Regulus gave a tight smile and Evan just pushed them further away.
"Yea, real busy. Bye." Evan forced Regulus to turn and guided them both away. Professor Babbling looked at them walking away with a sigh and a scrunch of his face.
"It's kinda weird to watch 'em walk away." A voice spoke up from the darkness of a small alcove. Babbling startled as he stepped back from him, "Um- hello.." He looked around before looking at the man again. "Good morning?" The man's comment going over his head from the scare.
Argus Filch watched him with a menacing stare, looking the man up and down with disdain. "Is it?" He questioned back, hate stormed over him as he stalked in the shadows.
Babbling was taken back, staring at Filch with shock and confusion before the man walked away. Filch walked away with narrowed eyes and an unimpressed eyebrow raise before rolling his eyes. "Stupid Professor's." He mumbled and Babbling was left alone in the corridor, he stood there for a long while.
Once Evan and Regulus were around the corner, he turned on the other. "He was strange." Evan said, "Do you know him?" He asked, his voice drowned in confusion.
"No.." Regulus replied, equally as confused. "Anyway, I have to talk to Professor Flitwick." He said and they set off once more down the old corridors until they got to his classroom, finally, uninterrupted.
Regulus knocked on the door before entering, "Professor?" He called out and Evan stayed near the door as Regulus walked inside.
"Ah- yes?" The Professor popped his head from behind a desk, books stacked above him as they floated.
"Um, I was hoping to ask about my schedule-" Regulus flinched as the man took out his wand and began to wave it around, he felt stupid because of it. They didn't look anything alike. "I don't have any charm classes there." He told him, willing the shakiness he felt in his bones away.
"Oh," Flitwick looked at the boy before going to his desk, leaving the floating books on their own. He pulled out parchment from the draws as he settled into his seat, it was books stacked on themselves. It could not be comfortable. "Ah, yes. I see-" The man spoke vaguely to himself.
"So, Mr. Black." Flitwick gestured for the boy to come forward and so he did, taking his seat in a bench on the first row. "You have been doing incredibly well in charms. Your essays on intersecting and combining in charms has left me more impressed than not. Not to mention your practical skills hold up to your written work, to put it frankly." Flitwick looked at him with a smile. "You were doing work that was years ahead of you by the end of the year." He told him.
Regulus looked at the Professor without speaking. Staring at him and he didn't really know what to do, usually being complimented was backhanded. This wasn't, he was just being told that he was... that all the effort he put in was working. It felt good. "I like charms." He nodded to the Professor, the only words he could speak at the moment.
"That is very evident, my boy." The Professor laughed, Regulus let out his own chuckle. "Now, I spoke with other professors and they all said that you were doing amazingly in your other classes but not as impressive as you are at charms. Don't take offence to that, you just seem to be a natural at understanding the basics and being able to apply them to more complicated structures." Flitwick told him and Regulus had to actively try not to squirm and turn a shocking red under the compliments. "This means that I am willing to move you up a year, you’ll still be doing your O.W.L’s next year but instead of going over the curriculum that you already know you might as well join another class." He said and Regulus stared more.
For all the times Regulus put in effort to do better and distract himself with studies, he'd never been talked to like this because of it. Professor Flitwick was impressed with him. He wants him to move up a year. He-
He wants him to move up a year.
He wants Regulus to move up a year.
Because he's impressed.
Regulus couldn't help the smile that took over his face but he did stop himself from preening. "I'd be honoured to." He said before he could overthink it, his parents weren't fond of charms. They preferred potions, that was very obvious but this wasn't about them. Not anymore.
Flitwick smiled Widley. "Excellent. We will need to change your schedule slightly, your charms classes will just be an hour earlier than usual and this will also leave a few free periods afterwards as sometimes your year will be having their charms class after." He explained and Regulus nodded along. "Me and the teacher's trust you enough to know you would probably spend that time studying or reading, I know you love your poetry." Regulus found himself speechless once more, how could he know more about Regulus then his own parents?
"Thank you," he whispered softly.
Flitwick took out a new paper and held his wand to it, his new time table showing on it and he took it after it was done. "Thank you again." He said as he began to walk out the classroom.
"No need to thank me, Regulus. It was all your work, thank yourself." He laughed and Regulus paused before smiling as well. 'Thank yourself.' Played in his head.
Regulus walked outside to see Evan leaning against the wall, when his friend finally saw him, he walked up to him immediately. "So, what happened?" He asked as they started to walk away.
"I got moved up a year in charms." Regulus told him, a proud smile on his face and Evan stopped to stare at his friend before walking again.
"What the hell? That's amazing." Evan laughed with him as he cheered on his friend. "I can't believe you're leaving me and Barty." He told him solemnly as he clenched his fist to his chest.
Regulus rolled his eyes at the dramatics and pushed him away, "It couldn't have happened sooner." He replied sarcastically and Evan gasped at him. They bickered back and forth until they got to the dinner hall.
Ever since getting on the train Remus knew there was something wrong. From how Sirius was acting to how he was talking, he knew there was something. He just didn't know what. When Sirius went to the bathroom he pulled James and Peter close and questioned them.
James said that it was probably something to do with Regulus, it was a good theory.
Peter's was that it was his parents. Also a good theory.
It could be either, both are bad subjects for Sirius to think about. So, Remus decided to relax and be there for his friend. The other two felt the same sentiments and James was glad to have them back to help, Sirius had been acting odd the last week of the break.
So they all spent time together, talking and laughing. When they got back to Hogwarts castle Sirius didn't even wait to get his trunk, running off ahead of them. They tried to call out but it was useless, he was gone in seconds. They all sighed and brought his trunk up to their dorm, settling in and waiting before checking the map.
"Oh," James said as he looked. A smile making its way onto his face.
"He's with Regulus, that explains why he ran off." Peter mumbled before shaking his head and beginning to leave the room. Remus took a deep breath, letting himself relax as they all made their way to the great hall.
It wasn't long before Sirius joined them all, bouncing around but with a pleased grin and joy all over his face. They all smiled back, glad the talk with his brother went well. Remus found himself looking over at the Slytherin table, when he found the younger brother looking back with a tightened jaw and narrowed eyes. Well, he was confused. Sirius was as happy as could be and Regulus, clearly wasn't.
Remus looked back at his friend and tried to find something, anything that made it make sense. There was nothing but excitement in his eyes and joy as he hugged Peter. He couldn't shake the feeling though, that something was very wrong.