Chapter 1
"I'm... already married"
Lily stayed still for a second before exploding in laughter. When James had called her to their living room, insisting she sat down, to tell her there was an issue with the wedding, her thoughts had gone to flower arrangements, perhaps a bad weather broadcast or, knowing the subject, Sirius throwing a fit about not liking the color of his tie yet again - she still had nightmares about the hours spent trying to pick which shade between maroon and barn red would better suit his complexion.
"I'm not joking, I am" he said.
"You mean to tell me that you, James can't-lie-for-the-death-of-me Potter, have been hiding a wife all this time? Please tell then, where is she, under the carpet?"
He swallowed stiffly, now looking pale and almost… scared?
"Husband. And he's in Paris"
Lily looked at him, really looked at him. During their school days, before taking separate paths that would lead them to meet once again after years, James had been a terrific prankster along with his friends, always causing trouble but somehow, much to her surprise, never getting detention. Years later she had grown used to his antics and silliness, but in front of his unusual seriousness she found herself struggling to understand the realness of the situation .
“You're joking right?”
A beat dropped. She looked him in the eyes and saw the fear in them. Fuck.
"This is… real?"
"Very real," he quickly responded.
"And you're telling me now?!" she almost yelled, eyes big and angry - they had been engaged for 5 months now, how could James have waited until 2 weeks from the wedding date to tell her this incredibly important information? Would they still be able to get married? Surely not, he had to get a divorce first and divorces take a lot of time and money and lawyers and- wait… did he say husband?
James, in the meantime, was quietly repeating a mantra of please don't ask who he is please don't ask who he is please don't-
"Who is he?"
Oh for fuck's sake
"It's- um-" when James had planned this whole discussion in his head - admittedly a couple of weeks prior - he had decided to tell her it was just a random guy he met in Vegas while celebrating his degree and never met again, just a drunken mistake with no feelings involved, easy to fix. What he hadn't taken into account was how bad of a liar he was, especially to her.
She was looking straight into his eyes and he knew in that moment that there was no use in trying to lie, he would have to face it eventually so better start now. He took a deep breath and whispered,
"...it's Regulus"
See? You did it, and it wasn't even that bad!
"Regulus... Black?"
…or maybe it was
"As in Sirius Black?" her eyes were now comically wide
James choose to remain silent, feeling the guilt of the confession he had never been brave enough to make.
"Does he know?" there it was. The issue. The reason why one could ever ever know about this. Why his marriage had remained secret for five whole years. Until now. Sirius and his brother had a hell of a complicated relationship, if you could even call it that, when they were younger. The younger had always been very jealous of his brother, which started out as cute but became very angsty very quickly as the years went by. James didn't know what their relationship was like now, too afraid to ask in case the other would get suspicious by his sudden interest in his little brother.
"You know how they are, he... He wouldn't understand"
"James!" he groaned "I know!"
"Are you mad? You can't marry someone's brother and not tell them! Especially if it's your best friend! Especially if it's Sirius’ goddamn brother!"
"I am going to tell him,” he said “...Someday"
(no he wasn't, he planned on taking this secret to his grave, thank you very much)
"So, what are we doing now?"
"I- I don't really know," he said "I guess i'm getting a divorce?"
Divorce sounded bad in his head. It sounded like something was broken. It reminded James of the past and he didn't want to think of the past.
"I don't really know how to contact him though, he changed his number and everything"
He didn't forget all the times he had tried to call him, drunk and a mess, ready to beg him for a second chance that never came.
"Surely Sirius has it"
"You really want me to ask Sirius of all people?"
"Do you want to fix this or not?"
Fix. What was Lily talking about? There was nothing to fix. You fix something wrong, a mistake, a Regulus wasn't a mistake. Getting married was - his brain reminded him - and a terrible one at that, one that sober James, responsible James, would have never done.
She stepped forward and rubbed the side of his shoulders reassuringly.
"Tell Sirius, get his brother's number and talk to him. Okay? It's going to be fine"
She made it sound so simple, why hadn't James told her earlier? She would have calmed him down, make him think more clearly.
"I love you, you know that?" he smiled at her "I love you too" she said, matching his expression "Even after this?" he said, only joking in part "Even after this." she answered, sealing the statement with a quick peck to his lips.
-
Hours later, while staring at his white ceiling, James found himself writing a list of the next steps: he would talk to Regulus, get
a divorce, and then marry the love of his life. The perfect plan.
Step one: Sirius