Chapter 16
A lot of the days leading up to Christmas were spent doing uni work- the January exam period loomed on the horizon and uni-level french had made Draco realise that the a-level really wasn’t as hard as people had made it out to be, and he felt very behind.
He was holed up in his cottage-which now had a little tea service, meaning he didn’t have to leave for a cuppa, and so was more hydrated than he had ever been in his life. Riding lessons went from everyday to every other day as Draco stressed over his work, the ghostly voice of his father in the back of his head telling him he wasn’t good enough, that he had to work harder, that he was a disappointment.
Working instead of riding also allowed him to spend a bit more social time with Sirius and Hermione, which he loved. A new addition to his time with Hermione was Harry, who would sometimes join them as they watched their films together on the sofa. More often than not, which was surprising to Draco, Harry would sit next to him, rather than next to Hermione, his warm solid body pressed against Draco’s side. Draco would be able to feel him shake as he laughed, and when Harry inevitably fell asleep, Draco would feel his hair on his cheek, his breath against his neck. It was overwhelming in both the best and worst way possible. Hermione would often shoot Harry curious looks, which Draco noted but never understood.
The day before Christmas eve, Draco and Hermione were fifteen minutes into the muppet Christmas carol when Harry walked in, dropping onto the sofa next to Draco and falling asleep within twenty minutes of arriving.
The film finished and Hermione said she had to get home, but that Harry hadn’t been sleeping well recently, so Draco should let him sleep and just watch another film. Draco shrugged, happy to the excuse-though flimsy- to not immediately go back to his uni reading. Wanting a comfort film, he put on corpse bride- he and Pansy used to watch it together, making jokes to cover up the fact that their parents were likely to marry them together to cover up the genuine worry they felt that they would be forced into matrimony.
He had always loved the film, and watching it made him think of her, and he decided to invite her to the farm for New Years if there weren’t already special traditions in place.
Harry woke up at the very end, lifting his head a bit off of Draco’s shoulder, but he immediately dropped it down again, shifting even closer to Draco as he did so. He reminded Draco a little bit of a cat, the way he was settling his head into the crook of Draco’s neck. It was all very domestic, and Draco blushed something awful, and the blush remained long after Harry had lopped off to bed.
Christmas Eve was a tense affair. Effie had come for dinner, and it was clear that her condition- Draco wasn’t entirely sure what it was- had deteriorated since he had last seen her in the summer.
The conversation was stilted and uncomfortable with every mistake she made. She has walked in and immediately treated Harry as her son, James, which set a sour tone for the rest of the meal. Sirius and Harry were once again pulled into a well of grief, and it fell to Remus and Draco to pick up the slack- but Remus was grieving for James too, just better at hiding it most of the time, and Draco could tell that pretending it wasn’t getting to him was getting more and more difficult as Effie chattered on, seemingly unaware of the uncomfortable mood hanging over everyone else.
“James and Sirius, my best boys! Tell me, how is school?” Effie said as they sat down to eat, and Draco could see Sirius biting the inside of his cheek, corners of his lips downturned. Harry stared resolutely at the food on his plate, but didn’t eat any of it. Remus engaged Draco in surface level, meaningless questions about uni that he already knew the meaning too, trying to draw Effie in, but Effie had forgotten who Draco was, which Draco could tell Remus was finding hard to cope with.
With every question Remus asked, he would ask Effie what she thought of Draco’s answer, and Effie would respond with something along the lines with “yes, yes that sounds wonderful! Who are you again, dear? You are awfully blond, aren’t you?” And after the third repetition, Harry stood up and left. Sirius sighed, looking impossibly sad, and it took all of Draco’s willpower not to leave as well. Instead, he summoned all his courage and forged ahead, basically waxing poetic about uni as Remus gave him a grateful smile across the table.
The minute Effie had finished eating, Sirius was clambering off the bench and limping after Harry, and Remus led Effie into the sitting room. Alone in the kitchen, Draco turned the radio on and hummed along to Christmas music as he washed up crockery, tidied pots and pans away, and wiped down surfaces. Given that it was Christmas, he decided to go a little bit above and beyond, and by the time he was done the kitchen was sparkling, and cleaner than he had ever seen it. In his cleaning frenzy, he hadn’t noticed that Sirius had been sat on a stool by the doorway for most of an hour, smiling at him. Draco nearly had a heart attack when Sirius laughed.
“Jesus christ! Warn a man” Draco said, clutching at his chest and leaning against the counter top.
“Sorry, sorry,” Sirius chuckled, “it was too much fun to watch you dance and sing”
“Oh shut up, Sirius” Draco said with no venom, throwing a tea towel at the man.
“I actually wanted to ask you a favour” Sirius said, folding the tea towel and placing it on the side.
“Harry won’t talk to me, and Remus is occupying mum so I don’t have to, so would you mind going up and seeing if Harry wants company? Take up a cuppa and some biscuits and pretend one of us sent you, and just see? This is a hard time of year for him, and her getting worse makes it harder on all of us” Sirius said, the mood turning from playful to somber.
Draco felt saddened by the weight of grief that this family had to carry- both grief for Harry’s parents, but also pre-emptive grief as they watched Effie fade away in front of them, becoming a stranger with every week that passed. He was also surprised to be talked to like an adult, like an equal. He couldn’t imagine his parents ever talking to him like that. He nodded and went through the motions of preparing a cup of tea- not much milk, too much sugar, just how Harry liked it- and plating up the viennese biscuits that were in the breadbin.
“Thanks, my boy. Tomorrow will be better.” Sirius said, eyes tired but kind as Draco passed by him.
Draco had never actually been to Harry’s bedroom before, he just knew it was an attic room, right at the top of the house. He knocked on the door but slowly pushed it open before waiting for a response.
“Harry? Remus asked me to bring up some tea and biscuits” Draco said, walking in and setting the mug and plate down on Harry’s bedside table. The room was lovely. The walls were a sage green, and all the lights were a warm yellow. The bed was right in the middle of the room, a big, ornate thing with a gilt frame. Harry lay on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. When Draco set down his cargo, Harry sat up and patted the edge of the bed, indicating for Draco to sit there, which he did, gingerly.
“No tea for you?” Harry asked, accepting the mug Draco handed him.
“Oh no, mate, but the biscuits are” Draco said, laughing a bit when Harry immediately snatched three up in his large hands. Harry laughed too, and Draco felt inordinately pleased that he had been able to succeed where Sirius hadn’t.
“D’you want some music, like?” Harry asked, stretching and going over to a speaker tucked into the corner furthest from the door.
“What do you have?” Draco asked, not really paying attention as he took in more of Harry’s room.
There were clothes strewn all over the floor, and most of the drawers in the chest of drawers were open, t-shirts and jumpers spilling out of them haphazardly. The lampshade hanging from the ceiling is made of parchment, with stars cut out of it, casting shapes on the wall as darkness filters in through the window. Draco’s attention is pulled back to present when Bowie’s starman starts to play.
“Remus and Sirius love Bowie. They actually got together at one of his concerts” Harry said, and Draco wondered if Harry knew the implications of what he was saying, if Harry knew just how deeply Draco was reading into it. How could he not? Harry and Draco were alone in his bedroom, listening to music Harry had prefaced as having romantic connotations. Draco was blushing already, and deeply resenting his fair complexion.
Harry then flopped back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, munching on his biscuits. Draco shuddered at the crumbs getting on the bed. Draco carefully holds the plate under him as he eats, and snorts to himself when he makes an internal joke about Harry being raised in a barn. After a while its clear that Harry-while content with Draco’s silent company- doesn’t wish to talk about the events of the evening, so Draco quietly makes his excuses and leaves. On his way to his own bedroom, he re-assured Sirius that Harry seemed fine, just introspective, before going to bed.
As he climbed into bed and turned off the lamp, it hit Draco for the first time that this would be his first ever Christmas not in London- the farm had become more like home, now- and his first ever Christmas without his parents. He would miss his mother, he knew, but felt a guilty happiness at the prospect of his father not being present to ruin the day everyone always held as being so special and loving.
He had bought presents for everyone while he was at uni, and they were all carefully stored under his bed, waiting for the next morning. He was so excited, but he still fell asleep with a mind dominated by memories of his mother on Christmas morning, with her matching ivory silk pyjama set, her hair hanging down her back in a neat braid.
As was his custom, ever since he was a child, Draco awoke stupidly early on Christmas day. It was still dark outside and a glance at his little alarm clock signalled that it was six in the morning. Sighing, Draco rolled over but found himself incapable of going back to sleep. He wandered into his living room and made himself a strong cup of tea, curling up on his armchair and staring out the window.
As the sky started to lighten, he pulled on a big fleece and his boots, gathered his presents and made his way up to the big farmhouse. The windows were dark, meaning no one was up, so Draco let himself in quietly, placing his gifts on the kitchen table and going about making himself a hot chocolate. At what must have been about seven-thirty, Remus came in from where he’d been doing the Farm rounds, and the two of them chatted over hot drinks at the table, nibbling on biscuits. Then Sirius came down in obnoxious Christmas pyjamas, eyes twinkling.
“He loves Christmas’ Remus whispered to Draco, and Draco snorted, watching with warmth in his chest as Sirius sat down and wrapped an arm around Remus, who turned so they could kiss.
It was another hour still before Harry came down, still half asleep and with the hair on one side of his head sticking straight up. He yawned deeply, lazily scratching his stomach as he sat next to Draco and immediately dropped his head onto Draco’s shoulder. Draco blushed, and stared into his now-empty mug to avoid the looks Sirius and Remus were giving him.
Breakfast was a Full English with all the sides, eaten at about ten and Draco ate way more than he should have, given the feast that was coming later. After breakfast, they set about tidying and sorting the house in anticipation for all the guests. Presents were placed under the tree in the living room, and the table was laid. Draco learnt that the Weasleys all came for dinner, whereas the Granger’s had their Christmas dinner at home, but came in the evening for presents and pudding.
Then everyone was showering and putting on their ‘nice’ clothes. Draco chose dark blue straight-leg jeans and a button down Tadgh had actually bought him on a whim. It was forest green, with an open collar, and Draco loved the way he looked in it. He also brushed his hair, trying it into a bun at the back of his head, the wispy hairs at the front hanging down his face where they weren't long enough.
He then went back to the house, where he found the other’s watching the snowman. “That’s a very nice shirt lad” Remus said and Draco blushed a bit. “Thanks, Tadgh bought it for me.” he replied, before going to sit next to Harry, who was scowling, which was weird. Ignoring it, Draco settled in to watch the film.
Half the Weasleys; Molly, Arthur, Ron, Charlie and Bill, arrived in the early afternoon, bearing numerous pans and Tupperware tubs of food and bags of ingredients. Ron, Molly and Remus immediately set to cooking. Draco offered to help but Charlie gently explained that at Christmas only three people were allowed in the kitchen until dinner time, and everyone else was strictly forbidden. So, Draco and everyone else sat in the living room, alternating between playing games and watching whatever was on tv, purposefully avoiding the queen’s speech, which Draco found amusing.
It was six before all the food was finally ready, and then they all piled into the kitchen and Draco was taken aback by the spread before him. One of the twins- he had no idea which- must have seen the look on his face because he clapped Draco on the back and said “I know mate. It’s a wonder none of us have to roll everywhere” before cackling and joining his other half.
Draco slid onto the bench between Hermione and Harry, and everyone immediately dug in. There was a massive turkey, dripping in gravy, and seasoned to perfection sitting in the middle of the table. Around it lay plates and bowls of roasties, brussels sprouts with pancetta, carrots in maple sauce, beans in lemon and butter sauce, peas with butter, mash potato, parsnips in honey glaze, boats of gravy, numerous bottles of red wine, crackers and Christmas napkins. Draco almost started drooling.
He loaded his plate up with more than a bit of everything, seeing everyone around him do the same, and poured himself a hefty amount of red wine. He then tucked in, and he could have moaned. The food was orgasmic. Everything tasted perfect, and was a far cry from the Christmas dinners at home where the turkey was a bit dry and the vegetables a bit overcooked- his mother was many things, but not a chef. He ate at a rate of knots, and drank nearly as fast as he went, and from the corner of his eye he could see Harry eating-and drinking-even faster.
Once finished, Draco leaned back in his chair and groaned, about two forkfuls away from having to undo the top button of his jeans. He rested his hands lightly on his stomach and grinned at Sirius, who was sitting across from him. He then turned to Molly and Remus, sitting a bit further down and said “I have never tasted food that good in my life. Thank you- and you, Ron”.
The three of them smiled at him, and Molly offered to give him baking lessons, which he promised to think about.
Once they felt like they could stand, everyone slowly made their way back to the living room, collapsing onto the sofas and armchairs and extra chairs that Harry, Remus and Draco had dragged out of storage earlier that day. It was then more games until the Granger’s arrived.
“Happy Christmas everybody!” Jean shouted as they walked into the living room. She was in a floor length black dress with golden flower petals on, and it looked lovely. Behind her, her husband was in a Santa hat and had clearly been hitting the wine quite hard at home. Bringing up the rear was Hermione, who looked lovely in a black turtleneck top and floor-length navy skirt overlaid with a glimmering mesh. She settled herself in beside Ron, and Draco sent her a cheeky wink about it and she blushed. Jean set the bag of all their presents under the tree, before setting herself on the sofa next to Molly, who then told Ginny that as the youngest she had to distribute the presents.
“I’ve been t’youngest for seventeen years, Ma!” Ginny groaned and she heaved herself up and set about checking the names on the packages under the tree. For the Weasley family, Draco had shelled out on a massive tray of Neuhaus chocolates at great expense. From the way Sirius was looking at him when Arthur unwrapped it, he knew just how much it had cost Draco.
For the Grangers, he had spent ages hunting down a special edition bottle of rum brewed on the Island their family came from, which made Hermione’s mum tear up a little bit and hug him. For Hermione, Draco had found a silk-bound folio of Shakespeare’s sonnets, which she claimed to adore. Remus received a chunky-knit aran jumper. Upon opening it, he stripped off the jumper he had been wearing and immediately put Draco’s gift on, which made Draco blush. Sirius’s gift was both a bit more special and a bit funnier. Draco got him a mug that said ‘Black Sheep’ on it, with a little drawing of a sheep. Draco had also written to his mother, and she had dug out a picture of Sirius as a child, which Draco had taken the liberty of getting framed, hoping Sirius would like it, rather than hate the memories it might dredge up. From the way Sirius smiled at him, he loved it.
For Harry, Draco had taken a long time to decide. He didn’t want to accidentally expose his feelings towards the other boy, but he also didn’t want to go too far in the other direction and risk getting Harry an impersonal present when Draco’s gifts for Sirius, Remus and Hermione were more personal and tailored to them. He had agonised over it, flipping between multiple ideas, and thoroughly annoying Tadgh by spending too long in the shops when they had gone Christmas shopping. In the end, he had settled on brand new jodhpurs with a little note that said ‘so we can ride together- D x’. He hoped Harry would like it, and found himself so nervous now he almost couldn’t watch Harry unwrap the gift.
“Draco, this is great! We can go whenever you want” Harry said, and Draco looked up to see Harry staring at him with a soft smile on his face. Draco nearly whimpered at how pretty he looked.
After presents, Remus uncovered a bottle of Bailey’s that had been squirrelled away somewhere, and everything went downhill from there. Sirius outwardly seemed the most sober, mainly because he was sitting down because of his hips and knees, but when he finally stood to go to the loo, the wine and baileys paired with his limp made him extremely unsteady, and Remus had to help him. The Weasley brothers, a raucous bunch when sober, were louder than Draco thought possible. They were immensely fun though, and Draco found himself laughing more than he had in a long, long time.
In the end, though, it was the Grangers who hit the liquor hardest, and Draco was drawn out of a conversation with Fred when Remus leaned over the back of the sofa and murmured in his ear, “I’m going t’put the Grangers to bed in the cottage, if that's okay? Do you mind staying in with Harry t’night?”
Draco, distracted and a bit drunk just said “what? Oh, yeah yeah of course, whatever you need” before going back to hearing all about how the twins pranked the teachers at their school. He was vaguely aware of Hermione and Remus steering her parents out of the room, but Fred’s stories were too entertaining for anything else to capture his attention.
The Weasley’s started leaving at about eleven, and Hermione grabbed spare pillows and blankets from the farmhouse and wandered down to the cottage, and Draco said she could take any one of his t-shirts to sleep in.
Only when it was the four of them in the living room did Draco fully realise what was about to happen. The four of them stayed up and chatted a bit longer, sated, sleepy conversations, words made slower by alcohol, eyes half-lidded. Sirius was sprawled over Remus’ lap, and Remus was stroking his hair. At one point, Harry dropped his head onto Draco’s shoulder and fell asleep.
“He really likes you now, you know,” Sirius said to Draco. Remus smacked him lightly on the back of the head. “Stay out of t’children's business, you bastard” Remus said, before leaning over and dropping a kiss to Sirius’ forehead.
“I’ll ignore that then, shall I?” Draco said, relaxing further into the sofa.
“Ignore anything that comes out of Sirius’ gob” Remus said, making Sirius pout.
“How did this compare to Christmas at home then?” Sirius asked him, changing the subject.
“A thousand times better, you have no idea. The food, for one, was the best I have ever eaten. And the people! It was always just the three of us at home, and Father just made it miserable. Once he stopped caring, I would just get as drunk as I could. It was much nicer with more people” Draco said, sitting up a bit as he talked about how much he had enjoyed his day.
“Thas’ lovely, lad” Remus said, voice thick with sleep, eyes closed as he leant his head against the back of the sofa.
“I think it’s bedtime for our boys, huh?” Sirius asked, heaving himself into a sitting position. Draco went to wake Harry up, the whole time Sirius’ words circled around his head-what did he mean by ‘our boys’?.
Harry walked up the stairs infuriatingly slowly, but he was half asleep. Still, it took a good five minutes for them to just walk up a few flights of stairs. Finally, they made it. Harry sleepily unbuttoned his shirt and wriggled out of his jeans and socks before falling onto his bed in just his underwear. Desperately trying not to look, Draco went to the chest of drawers and found a t-shirt to wear, before stripping off his clothes, folding them and placing them by the door with his shoes, and pulling on the t-shirt he had found, before turning off the light and climbing into bed alongside Harry.
He tried to stay as close to the edge of the bed as he could, but to his surprise a strong arm wrapped around his stomach and pulled him back to the middle of the bed. “‘M cold” Harry muttered, tangling his legs with Draco. Draco froze, but Harry was so warm and solid behind him that before long Draco relaxed into the feeling, and was asleep within minutes.
He awoke in the same position, sunlight streaming in through a gap in the curtain. His head throbbed, his mouth felt dry as the sahara and so he instinctively curled towards the warmth, closing his eyes. It wasn’t until he heard the warmth emit a groan that he remembered the warmth was Harry’s bloody chest, that now had Draco’s head resting against it. Too tired to panic about it, Draco left his head resting just about Harry’s heart, and fell back asleep.