A Soulless Angel

The problem with coming up with a decent enough plan for how to change your life for good, is that when you've got so many choices and possibilities, it becomes impossible to come up with anything simple to deal with the dozens of issues, Harry mused to himself as he stood outside the terminal of the airport; unlike Gatwick or Heathrow, the airport here was tiny and it wasn't a chaotic mess. Harry was waiting for his flight to be called out, but he had decided to stay outside the terminal to wait for his flight. He had long had a preference for being alone whenever he needed a chance to think, and after a glance inside the terminal, he knew it was a good idea.

Nervous because he would soon be in New York, and would meet his family from the MACUSA, Harry was trying to think of what he was going to do, and he was left cursing the goblins for making him go on for a month after he had told them before Dumbledore walked into Bloodbringer's office after his release from Azkaban he didn't want to go to Hogwarts ever again. But since they had spent so much time in a whole month doing God knew what, Harry had started to get used to the idea of returning to the damn school, only for the news to come he could change schools and go somewhere else, but only if he changed his name.

Harry had been surprised by that, but truthfully it didn't matter that much if he did change his name. He had no attachment to it; his name was well known in the magical world thanks to Voldemort's attack back in '81, and it had gotten him nothing but trouble since. But the very thought of throwing it away and taking another one, plucking it out of the Potter family's history was a compelling one, but at the same time going to a different school would do him the world of good, especially if he attended a school like Castelobruxo or Uagadou. Only yesterday he had gone through his spell repertoire for his first year up to third, using wandless magic to see how well he could do it, to prove something to himself.

And yet he was still torn.

A part of him, which spoke in Chloe's voice, annoyingly enough, was urging him to return to Hogwarts and face his demons. Unfortunately, it was hard for him to say no to it. Return to Hogwarts, just face down all of his demons and deal with the same peers who had judged him for so long and being in the same school as the old man who preferred playing hybrid games of chess and poker with people's lives, return to a toxic environment made even more toxic because nobody had ever bothered to clean up the mess caused by Salazar Slytherin and the other Founders.

If Harry did decide to go through with what Bloodbringer had said about changing his identity, then what would happen to him? Only last night he had realised something important; back at the townhouse, he had everything prepared to create a clone of his body.

He could use the ritual and jump into a clone, seal his memories away and then get himself with a loving family before the new year began, rather than wait a whole year or two to put the plan into place.

If he did that then he could finally find the one thing that he had wanted when he was younger before the toxic environment the Dursleys pushed him through so long taught him that he didn't deserve a family or that one would ever come, a loving family. But he was overcomplicating things, and he hated it. Why didn't the goblins just come out and give him the good news when he first asked? Had they kept this deliberately from him or had they spent all this time looking for a solution to his inquiry? Harry didn't know.

He'd made up his mind to speak to his American family and find out what the options could be for them, and he'd already worked out how he was going to keep the existence of essence transfer out of it. Harry was just checking his watch when he caught sight of her. Hermione Granger. She was here on the island.

She was with her parents, just leaving the terminal with their luggage, looking depressed, her face downcast and a slump in her posture. Harry was just working out a way he could avoid being spotted by the traitorous little bitch when she raised her head and looked around, clearly trying to make an effort to be happy to be there when she spotted him.

"Ha…Harry?" She whispered, her voice barely carrying over the distance while her parents looked surprised to see him too. Harry ignored them, gazing back at her coldly. She was just shocked to see him. Harry's eyes transformed into cold emerald fire just by looking at her. She had become a prominent feature in his nightmares recently, where she called for the Dementor's kiss. Not wanting to say anything to her, Harry just turned his back on her.

"Harry?" Granger's voice was slightly louder, and he heard her footsteps approaching from behind.

"Hermione, I don't think he wants to speak to you," Mrs Granger said from behind. Harry couldn't help but smile at that, wondering how it was that Mrs Granger seemed to realise the obvious whereas her daughter who knew some of what he was capable of, didn't.

Unfortunately, he knew it wouldn't do any good. "Harry, please…..please, I need you to listen to me," she said desperately as she stood behind him. "Please?"

"And what, pray tell, is it you would like to say to me?" Harry's voice was filled with icy anger as he turned to face the girl he had assumed was a friend before realising she was working with Dumbledore.

"….Harry….I-I….I…," she faltered at his gaze.

Harry lifted his brow, "Three I's in one breath," he commented, "a little egotistical of you, isn't it? What do you want? I haven't got all day. Besides, why are you even bothering? Its not as if you were a true friend. You spied on me."

"Harry, please don't be like this-."

"Like what?" Harry's voice was full of danger, and she sensed it too; Hermione Granger was a stubborn girl, but she wasn't stupid enough to miss something so obvious.

"Angry…I admit I did steal from you, that I did spy on you," Hermione said, "but do you want to know why?"

Harry checked his watch. "Be quick and speak quickly, or I'll hex so badly you won't leave this island without everyone seeing the state of you," he threatened, and he saw the elder Grangers look worried and angry at the same time.

Hermione jumped at the threat and she started, "This is one of the reasons why, Harry. Dumbledore told me and Ron you had an important future, and that you would be faced with a dark path."

"A dark path he set me on," Harry interrupted as he glared spitefully back at her. "Did it never occur to you to speak to me about it? You were closer to me than he ever was. I never trusted him after I found out about his role in putting me with the Dursleys - oh, I got your letter, asking me about whether I had grown up in a Cupboard under the Stairs, and I did; why don't you go to the Dursleys, and find out. I'm pretty sure the blood stains are still there - and making sure I grew up in an environment my stupid parents wouldn't have wanted me to grow up in. Tell me something, and please….think carefully about your words before you answer it; if I did go dark because of everything that was happening, wouldn't I have been well within my rights? Monsters are not born, they're made. It's a reality the whole world refuses to admit to itself."

Hermione stared back at him in surprise. This hadn't occurred to her.

"You didn't think of that, did you? No, of course not. Hermione Granger, the so-called brightest witch of the age, is only book-smart, and not life-smart. If you'd had any sense at all, you would have said no to Dumbledore. But you didn't. I'd had hopes for Hogwarts. I had wanted to have a fresh start…only to find out people like Dumbledore were going to destroy my life."

Tears were trickling down Hermione's face, while her parents looked upset but there was something there which told him they'd spoken to Hermione about her issues before, but they hadn't settled into her head.

"So what do you want now?" Harry asked.

"Harry, please…I am so sorry. I am so truly sorry. I know I made so many terrible mistakes and I know I don't deserve to be forgiven, but-."

"But you want me to forgive you, is that it?" Harry didn't realise he was shouting now.

"N-no, of course not. I understand you're angry, it's just that-," Hermione was struggling to calm him down while her parents looked worried and unsure of what to do.

"Understand what? What could you understand? Do you understand I have lost a whole year of my life!? Do you understand the girl who had similar hobbies to me had befriended me to spy on me, steal books from me, and tell some old fool in authority about my every movements?" Harry shouted into her face.

"Harry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Hermione was beginning to cry freely now.

Harry sneered at her. "Y'know, when I first met you, I actually thought you were cute," he confessed, startling both her and her parents, "I liked the look of your hair, and I liked the fact you loved books…but what I despised about you was how you went on and on about authority figures, especially someone like Dumbledore. But everything you think you know about him…is a lie."

Hermione was sobbing now so hard that she couldn't muster the energy to ask him what he meant by that. "Harry, please…"

"DON'T!" Harry shouted. "You spied on me, starting right after I saved you. I saved you because I liked you better than the Weasel. I gave you my friendship…only for you to throw it all away for Dumbledore. You betrayed me, over and over again later on. You lied, you cheated and you stole from me. I honestly hope it was worth it for you, and now you have the nerve to say you're sorry. Do you think that's just going to magically make everything alright? DOES IT?" Harry had to really resist the urge to grab the shorter girl and shake her violently by the shoulders.

"Harry, n-no."

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH! DON'T YOU DARE SAY MY NAME AGAIN! You certainly had no problems calling me Potter when you joined the Weasel's band wagon, and again at my trial, where you lied about me. Why is it Harry now? Is it because I'm free and innocent? I was innocent then too!" Harry shouted.

Mr Granger stepped forward. "Harry, please, that's enough, but your voice is carrying and you're starting to draw attention to this. Can we not go to a hotel or something, and talk it over?"

Harry glanced around him and saw some people were trying to eavesdrop in on the argument. "I'm afraid not, Mr Granger. I'm leaving the Caribbean today, and I don't have time. But even if I did….I probably wouldn't come." He turned to Hermione. Now he had gotten the worst of his anger towards her out, he found it easier to keep calm. "I don't think I can ever forgive you for what you did, but when we became friends before Dumbledore got his claws into you, I had hoped I could….forget the soul-destroying childhood I'd gone through, that I could forget the person I'd become, and move on with my life. But thanks to you being a thoughtless drone, that never happened," Harry never took his eyes off of Granger, who was sobbing freely, her hand to her mouth.

Harry lifted his head when he heard the announcement, his plane was ready. Grabbing his stuff, Harry sent a small smile towards the elder Grangers, a little bit perturbed that they hadn't said anything, and he walked up the steps into the terminal.

"Wait, don't leave, not like this," Mrs Granger called, and he stopped when he heard the footsteps rushing up the steps.

Cursing the persistence, Harry sighed and turned around and faced her solemnly. "I have a flight, Mrs Granger, one I've been looking forward to since I got out."

The older woman stopped and stared at him. "Harry, I know you're angry with Hermione, and I know nothing can make up for it, but please…can you make some effort to move on?"

Harry sighed and looked away for a moment. He didn't have time for this, but he had to make her understand. "Mrs Granger, I've spent years trying to move forward. I'm not like so many other people, my aunt included who are so pathetic that they fail to see the future and let the past go. As far as I'm concerned, the last year has made me see I have to focus on my future, but I can't do that without addressing my issues, and I know if I forgive your daughter, then it would just be a pointless friendship. She spied on me, she stole from me, and don't get me wrong, I know she only agreed out of the best intentions but some of the worst things imaginable have been done because of the best intentions. And Hermione did do some terrible things. I don't know what her motives are, but I don't trust her anymore. Goodbye, Mrs Granger. I have to go, and I can't miss this flight."

With that Harry Potter turned away and walked off, but as he settled down on the plane in his seat, he closed his eyes and took deep breaths as he struggled to resist the urge to scream, to bang his head, and punch the walls of the plane to get rid of the burning anger inside of him.