Chapter 9
Mary was up early that Monday after they returned from Easter holiday. Correction: she had never gone to bed. She had something major to tell her roommates and it was making her way too excited to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, thoughts of her holiday fluttered behind her eyelids.
She wanted to tell them when they got back to school the night before, but Marlene had mumbled something about resting up for morning quidditch practice and collapsed on her bed as soon as she walked through the door. Lily had stayed up for a bit, making sure she completed her nighttime routine to the tee, but it felt wrong not to tell them both at the same time.
Mary got out of bed after an hour of failing to fall asleep. She considered tidying up the dorm room—it was as messy as it always seemed to be, cluttered with clothes and keepsakes from their years at Hogwarts—but thought better of it when she realized Marlene would just dump her quidditch gear on the floor after practice and it would be like she never even bothered to tidy up in the first place.
Marlene wasn’t the only one to blame, though. The only neat part of the room was the extra bed and desk that remained unused since the three of them consisted of the only 4th year Gryffindor girls in the whole school. Even Lily’s space was cluttered with cuddly plushie toys, stationary, and schoolwork. A lacy white bra hung from one of her bedposts and one of the extra pillows she insisted on bringing to school had made its way onto the floor in the middle of the night. Mary was the cleanest of the three of them, her mother had instilled the importance of neatness into her from a young age, but sometimes even her dirty clothes didn’t make it fully into the hamper.
So instead of tidying up, Mary spent the rest of the night at her desk, writing in her journal about everything that had happened over the break. She had met William, or Billy as he insisted everyone call him, at the outdoor market when she had gone shopping with her mum and sisters. He had asked for her phone number at the fruit stand and called after dinner the same day. They were inseparable after that—he came over in the mornings and they sat in the garden together, while her dad supervised from the kitchen window, and they talked on the phone at night for hours until her mom made her go to bed.
It wasn’t the first time she was sad to have to return to school at the end of break, but this time she had even more reason to be upset. Billy said he would write to her every week, though. Of course, muggle post wouldn’t make it to Hogwarts (that she knew of; She was lucky her parents got used to using owls by the end of her first year, but she knew some muggles were so hopeless when it came to having magical children), so she had to make up a lie quickly. She wasn’t sure if he believed it when she told him her boarding school only allowed parents to send mail, so he would have to drop it off by her house for her mom to send, but he agreed anyway without a question.
If things worked out for them, she would have to tell him about magic eventually, but that wouldn’t be for a long time. She hoped he wouldn’t think she was weird for it. Heaven knew it was hard for her to accept it wasn’t just some big joke when she first got her Hogwarts letter. The kids from her old school were always pranking her like that, no matter how nice she was to them. Her mom always told her it was because they were jealous of her, but she knew it probably had a lot to do with the color of her skin.
When the sun started to come up over the horizon, Mary decided the other girls had gotten enough sleep for the night. “Good morning, loves,” she sing-songed as she threw open their bed curtains.
“Ugh, Mary! It’s so early!” Marlene complained and threw her arm over her eyes to shield them from the early morning sunlight.
“I know, I know, but we didn’t have much of a chance to talk about our breaks,” Mary said, sitting at the foot of Lily’s bed with her feet tucked under her.
Lily wiped the sleep from her eyes and wiggled her sock-covered toes against Mary’s legs. She was faring better than Marlene but still looked like she longed for a few more hours of sleep. “’ Morning, Mare,” she mumbled.
Marlene huffed. “How was your break, Mary?”
“I met someone.”
“No way,” Lily said sitting up in bed now that Mary had piqued her interest. “Tell us everything.”
“So, you made a new friend? You woke us up for that?” Marlene threw the pillow from her bed at Mary, but it fell short and landed on the floor between them.
“Not just a friend, Marls,” she shot her roommate an annoyed look. “He asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday.” She handed a black-and-white Polaroid photograph to Lily. It was a picture of the two of them in front of Mary’s house. “Mum took this yesterday. He came by the house for Sunday roast, wore a suit and everything to impress Dad.”
“Wow, Mary, he’s stunning,” Lily said as she peered over the photograph. The picture was taken from a few feet away, but she could still make out his handsome features: his dark skin, curly hair, and big bright smile. He was taller than Mary, not that that was a difficult feat.
Lily passed the photo over to Marlene. “He’s definitely good-looking,” she said, then paused. “Why are you guys standing so still?” she asked, squinting at the picture.
Mary and Lily shared a confused look, then burst out into uncontrollable laughter. “You do know muggle photographs don’t move, right.”
“Oh, right, I knew that,” she said, handing the photo back to Mary who tucked it into the frame of the vanity mirror she kept on her school-issued desk.
“Well, enough about me,” Mary said. “How were your holidays?”
Marlene shrugged, “fine.”
Lily cringed. “Petunia brought her awful fiancé to Easter dinner.” The girls made a displeased sound, Lily had told them all about Vernon Dursley’s nastiness. “And of course, Tunie had to blab about the fact that I’m a witch. He told me I should cast a spell to make myself lose weight,” Lily said, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
“What a bloody wanker,” Mary shook her head.
“So, he knows about magic now? Isn’t that sort of dangerous,” Marlene sat up in bed. “Do you think he’ll tell anyone?”
“Oh, he didn’t believe it,” Lily dismissed. “Probably thinks I’m away at some loony bin right now.” She laughed but it sounded more bitter than anything.
“I’m sorry you have to deal with him, Lils,” Mary said, squeezing her ankle.
“It’s fine, at least it was only one evening,” she shrugged. “Mum took me shopping… Oh, and Sev stopped by a couple of times, too.”
Mary scoffed. “Oh so, he can talk to you at home but can’t be seen with you at school?”
“I hope you told him to piss off.”
“Well, you know how those Slytherins are. He doesn’t have much of a choice. And--,” she faltered. “Things at home aren’t the best for him. His father--” she tried to explain but couldn’t find the words that would make them see the side of Severus that she had gotten to know back home.
“Lily, he is one of those Slytherins,” Marlene groaned.
“Yeah, he’s just as bad as any of them!”
Lily sighed. “You guys don’t get it. Anyways, I’m done talking about him.”
“Whatever,” Marlene rolled her eyes. She looked over to Mary who was trying to look anywhere that wasn’t in Lily’s direction. They had both tried to tell her how horrible he was, but she always got so upset when they brought it up. They would never understand what she saw in that prick. “I should start getting ready for practice,” she sighed, getting up from the warmth of her bed and heading to the bathroom.
“Yeah, and I’m going to need a nap before lessons begin,” Mary said, climbing under her duvet in the bed next to Lily’s. The other girls shot her a dirty look, still annoyed at having been woken up at an ungodly hour, but Mary pulled her sleep mask over her eyes and ignored them.
…
James was sitting in the courtyard, legs crossed on the ledge of the fountain. It was the perfect place to get a bit of sunshine, at least that was how he justified sitting there to himself. Some people might assume that he chose that spot because it was currently in direct line of sight of one Lily Evans, who was also enjoying some fresh air, but he was trying this new thing where he respected her wishes to be left alone.
It had been weeks since he last hit on her, asked her out, or anything of the sort. The chat they had up in the astronomy tower on his birthday had put a note of finality on his years-long crush. It hurt but he was coping, at least he was trying to. It was hard to forget about the girl when he hadn’t thought of anyone else in that way since he was 11 years old.
He had shown his parents his soul mark over the break, and they were elated, to say the least. His mum made him his favorite meal and even let him have a glass of mead with dinner. Together, his parents recounted the tale of how they met and found out they were soul mates with sweet smiles on their faces. James had heard the story many times and could even tell it himself from memory, but he let them have their moment anyway. It was a happy affair but a bittersweet feeling lingered.
His parents had heard all about his crush on Lily, ever since first year when he came home for Christmas break. His excited eleven-year-old self gushed about the pretty redhead girl who was the best at potions. “She’s probably even better than you, Dad,” he remembered telling his father, who just chuckled. It was silly at the time, but James wouldn’t be surprised if she had surpassed him at this point. She was already better than Professor Slughorn and corrected him whenever he made a mistake.
So, he didn’t have the heart to tell them that he knew for a fact that she didn’t share his mark. He couldn’t tell them that he had seen her forearm, and it was devastatingly bare of any distinguishing marks besides a few stray freckles. And worse, he couldn’t tell them that he definitely still had feelings for her, and it was making him question the legitimacy of the whole soulmate thing. Maybe Lily was right, and it was just some arbitrary thing that didn’t mean anything, but he had seen it work so well for his parents and now his friends
All of the confusion just made him all the more desperate. He thought that if he could just find his soul mate already, then it would put an end to these complicated feelings. He now spent most of his days since his return to Hogwarts trying to catch a glimpse of forearm on everyone he passed. He cursed the long sleeves of their uniform and loitered in the courtyard and near the lake where it was more likely for someone to cuff their sleeves. It wasn’t any of the guys on the team, he knew for sure. He would have noticed in the locker room.
He realized he had been staring at Lily again (and from the looks of her red-tinged cheeks, she had noticed) when Peter threw his bag down on the marbled fountain ledge beside him with a thump. “You haven’t seen Padfoot around anywhere, have you?” he asked, annoyed.
“Not since this morning. Why?”
“He said he would help me with the transfigurations essay, but I can’t find him anywhere!”
“You know he’s probably with Moony. Did you check the library?”
“Yes, I checked the bloody library! Twice! Those two have been disappearing a lot lately.”
James thought about it. Of course, they shared classes and a dorm room, and he saw Sirius at practice, but they hadn’t hung out since before Easter holiday. He had been so distracted trying to move on from Lily and find someone else to occupy his every thought, that he hadn’t noticed that they hadn’t had a proper conversation in days. The two lovebirds must be enjoying their time together, he thought. He wondered if they had even kissed yet. With the amount of time they spent alone, he figured they must have by now. It was what he wanted for them, sure, but not at the expense of the Marauders. “I guess they have,” James mumbled.
“It seems like they’re hiding something from us. Do you think they’re planning a prank without us?”
“I don’t think so, Pete,” he said, letting out the breath he had been holding. Peter hadn’t caught on yet, but it was only a matter of time. James would try to convince the other two to tell Wormtail eventually, as was the Marauder’s code to tell each other everything, but right now it wasn’t his place to blab about their secret. “We have practice tonight. I’ll talk to see Sirius and see what’s been up with him.” He patted his friend on the shoulder before going back to what he had been doing before—pretending not to stare at Lily, but by the time he looked back, she had already packed up her stuff and all he saw was a flash of red hair before she was gone completely.
James wanted to breach the conversation with Sirius in the locker room before practice, but the other boy had rushed in at the last minute in a whirlwind, with his hair tied messily on top of his head and his robes trailing behind him.
“You’re late,” he whispered to him so word wouldn’t get back to the team captain.
“Just barely. I’ll be dressed in a minute, meet you on the pitch,” he waved his arm, dismissing James who was already dressed in his practice kit. It had taken him a bit longer than a minute and the captain made him run drills while the rest of the team engaged in a practice game.
James flew close to Marlene who was busy guarding the goalposts and watching the game intently. It was her first year on the team, even though she had tried out the year before and was just barely beaten out by a sixth year, so she was extra determined to prove her worth to the team. She was a damn good player and also Sirius’ closest friend outside of the Marauders so if he was avoiding her too then they had a real problem on their hands. “Oi Marls, have you seen Pads lately?”
“I see him right now. He’s over there,” she said without taking her eyes off the pitch.
“No, I meant outside of practice.”
She rolled her eyes. “What do you think? He’s been too busy following Lupin around like a lost puppy.”
James winced. “I wouldn’t call him a lost puppy—” he trailed off as Marlene shot him a withering look.
“James, those two have been insufferable since we came back to school. This little crush of his has been getting out of hand.” She whipped her blonde ponytail behind her back and flew off to knock the quaffle away from the goal with the tail end of her broom. James knew that was all he was going to get from her on the subject-- She was never one to talk about her feelings much, even if she did wear her heart on her sleeve. She was a lot like Sirius in that sense and it was no wonder they were the closest outside of the Marauders.
James brought his attention back to the game after deciding to talk to Sirius after practice. There was still Quidditch to play and he couldn’t let his personal problems get in the way of Quidditch if he was determined to go pro after 7th year. He flew off to rejoin the game and let the rush of wind clear his mind for the time being.
The team entered the locker room sweaty and tired from the grueling practice. Sirius got dressed with an air of urgency that was uncharacteristic for someone who had been forced to run drills for the entire practice. “See you at dinner, Prongs,” he called over his shoulder as he turned to leave.
James grabbed the long sleeve of his robes. “Hold on a minute, yeah? I’ve got something I want to tell you.”
“Oh? What is it then?” He stopped but couldn’t hide the fact that he would rather be somewhere else.
“Let me just finish up here,” James said motioning to his locker that had a messy pile of clothes and gear nearly falling out of it.
Sirius sat down on the bench and stared at his fingernails, looking bored as he waited for the other boy to change. James took his time changing back into his robes, so the locker room had mostly cleared out by the time he was putting on his shirt. Sirius glanced, curiously, at the other boy’s soul mark that had been momentarily visible as he changed his shirt and remembered what Remus had told him in the hospital after the last full moon when he had asked why Remus had held Padfoot’s snout against his mark before his transformation. He caught James’ eye and nodded his head toward his forearm, “Can you ever feel it?” he asked quietly.
“Feel it?” James asked, raising one eyebrow.
“Yeah, does it ever feel tingly or anything?” He asked, unsure. Remus hadn’t even been able to describe the feeling, so he wasn’t sure what he was really asking. Like magic, Remus had said. Sirius had only felt his magic when he was starting to lose control, so he hoped it didn’t feel like that for Moony.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” he paused. “Well, the first night when it showed up, it felt kind of—you know, weird.”
Sirius didn’t know. His birthday had been one of the rare nights where he had slept soundly through the night. He had even convinced himself in a moment of disappointment as he awoke the next morning that nothing about him had changed, but his shirt had scrunched up as he lifted his blanket, and the white lines were unmistakable. “But you don’t feel anything on a day-to-day basis?”
“No. To be honest, I would probably forget all about it if it wasn’t right there every time I went to wank,” he said, proud of the snickering laugh he was able to pull from Sirius’s lips. It was a lie; James hadn’t stopped thinking about it for more than a few waking minutes, but he didn’t need to worry Sirius with the mess that was going on in his head. “Why do you ask?”
Sirius shrugged, tapping his fingers on his crossed elbows, “It’s just something Moony said.”
James thought for a moment. “You know that magic probably works a little different for him, ya know because of his condition,” he whispered in a low voice in case there was anyone eavesdropping on them.
“Yeah, he did say something like that.” Sirius had a far-off look on his face.
“Anyways, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” James then stood on the bench and peered over into the other aisles of lockers. They were now the last ones in the locker room, and it was safe to talk about things they wanted to stay between them.
“You wanted to talk about my soul mark?”
“Just that you’re making it bloody obvious” James chastised as he climbed down from the bench. “Wormy is starting to catch on and I’m pretty sure McKinnon already knows.” Sirius opened his mouth to interject but James held up his hand to stop him. “I don’t think she knows about your marks, but she did say your little crush was bloody annoying.”
“I can’t help it, Prongs. It’s Remus,” he shrugged like those simple words explained it all. James understood, though. If Lily ever allowed him to grace her presence for more than a few minutes at a time, he would probably be in the same situation.
“Well, maybe you can hang out with us sometimes. We barely see you two nowadays,” James mussed up his hair as he said it, and Sirius ducked and swatted the offending hand away.
“I literally see you every day, Prongs.”
“Sure, but we haven’t had a real hang in a while. We miss you. I know Marls misses you too, even though she’s acting all put out.”
“Alright, I get it,” Sirius huffed. “How about we do something tomorrow after classes let out? I think the school’s ready for another famous Marauder’s prank.”
James smiled. “More like infamous.” James finally shut his locker with a metallic click and threw his school bag over his shoulder. “What do you guys do all day anyways? Are you shagging him yet?” James asked as they finally started walking towards the door together.
“I told you, Prongs,” he groaned. “We’re waiting.” Although Sirius had to remind himself that almost every time they were alone together. There were a few times that their fingers brushed as they passed a spliff or walked side by side in the corridors, and each time Sirius just wanted to grab his hand and hold it tight in his, but he had to hold himself back. Remus wanted to wait, so they would wait.
“You at least got a snog in, didn’t you?” The pointed look that Sirius shot him, along with his pink-tinged cheeks, told James all he needed to know.
“Nothing’s happened yet. We’re. Waiting.” Sirius punctuated to make his point clear.
“Still? Mate, I think it’s time you made a move,” he said, with a smile to make sure Sirius knew he was only teasing him.
“Mind your business, yeah?” Sirius retorted with a laugh as he pushed James by the shoulder, knocking him into the lockers.
It was a familiar form of roughhousing that the two were used to and James let out a gleeful bark of laughter before throwing his arm around Sirius' shoulder and, although they were nearly the same height and it made each of their steps clumsier, they kept up the brotherly embrace all the way to the dining hall. James felt lighter than he had felt in a while, probably since his birthday if he really thought about it. He was reminded, as he sat down next to his friends at the Gryffindor table, that as long as he had them by his side he would be able to face anything.