Immortals

Third Bite

I hate the days when I don't have to work. You may call me workaholic, but to compose is what I like the most. So whenever there isn't someone asking for a song, or I don't have any ideas on what to compose, I get bored. Terribly bored. I practically just spend my time sleeping—for consecutive days—or maybe read one of the books Ned leaves in my house, or exercise, or try to get a new hobby. I basically move to my own basement-room, and just hang out there.

It's been a month since that man moved in, but I haven't seen him since the time I made him listen to one of my songs. So, three weeks now.

I have to say I was a bit surprised when he Disapparated so suddenly. Maybe being told that you are an empty person so upfront is not nice at all, but I am sure he is more than aware of that. Well, I secretly sneaked a peak at his room, but it didn’t seem like he had moved out. But to not see him at the house at all… Had he gone to die somewhere else? I won’t try to flaunt and say I totally understand why he feels that way; I just accept that him, like any other person out there, needs a respite from life.

And he chooses to die to get that respite.

That’s his little happiness, and I am no one to take that away from him.

I sigh and close the book I was trying to read and throw it to the side. I look up to the night sky and the bamboo forest that sways in front of my room.

From the corner of my eye, I see the man who had disappeared for quite a while freely walking in the living room. I look at the clock. It's 1am. I look back up and notice he’s looking down at me. He signals me to follow him and then gets out of the house himself. What is he planning? Him returning meant his attempt had failed. But, it was strange for him to look for me. Does he want to…?

Oh, how I hate these days when I'm unemployed. It makes me more curious about things that are not really my concern, and my mind comes up with ludicrous ideas. Either way, I quietly follow him from a considerable distance, and for some time now. I stop when he does at the lakeside and stands there, looking blankly at the peaceful water.

"You know what's something I always wanted to be?" He asks in a loud voice, enough for me to hear him. I guess that’s the prompt to begin the conversation, so I slowly walk to place myself two steps behind him. "I always wanted to be like water. Water can be soft, strong, hot, cold, salty, sweet. If you put it in a vase, it takes the form of the vase. If you let it roam free, it's shapeless, unstoppable. Water is life but takes lives away too if you take it lightly. It's a necessary existence and nobody can survive without it."

"Is that why you came here?"

"I just wanted to make conversation." He shrugs and turns to look at me. "Has someone ever told you you suck at conversing?" I snort.

"Ned says it all the time." I tend to tune out when I don’t care about the topic or ask too many questions out of curiosity. I don’t have an in between.

"At least you’re aware." He sits on the ground and starts picking up pebbles to throw them at the lake. "How often do you feed?" He suddenly asks.

"Why are you asking me that?" I knew it was a bad idea to follow him. His questions are not the type he should be asking.

"I told you, I just want to make conversation." His tired voice makes me sigh and give up. I sit down next to him and do the same as him. Our little game of disrupting the peacefulness of the water entertains us for some time. Then, it all goes back to the calmness from before; just the sound of insects and frogs can be heard around us.

"I haven't done it in a while." I blurt out. He turns at me with a confused expression which was clearly shown due to the moonlight. "Feeding. It's been a while. I don't need to do it frequently, maybe just from time to time or when it becomes unbearable." He just nods. Maybe he wasn't expecting me to answer, but I'm a sincere vampire. I tend to answer whatever people ask of me.

"It's getting a bit cold." He comments while brushing his arms. I cannot get cold so I didn't notice it was like that, but I guess being near the lake contributed more to the cold environment. "I think I'm going back." He stands up and pats his pants. I thought he was actually going to return to wherever he had been at these past few days and Disapparate, yet he makes his way back to my house.

Although puzzled, I walk behind him. I notice his long hair sways to the rhythm of his steps. It's something really uninteresting, but at the same time you cannot just ignore it. When I sense movement at the bushes, he quickly whips out his Wand and casts a spell on whatever moved there. I cannot help but laugh when I notice that all he managed with the magnificent display was to stun a mouse. They are common around this area.

Though, they are not dangerous enough to earn a Hex.

“It happens from time to time.” He shrugs. “I got your meal.” He then teases and laughs at my scrunched face. Animal blood is fine. A mouse though… “Do you prefer another kind of meal?”

I stiffen. “Are you volunteering?” I won’t deny the thought of his blood makes me buzz in excitement, my mouth salivates at the prospect, and my throat dries in thirst. His reply is to cut his neck and let blood flow. I see red. But, even when hungry, I try to fight my nature to not suddenly latch onto him. His emotions are too much for me. I think they would be too much for anybody, yet he has to cope with them every single day.

"Leander." He calls to me in a low voice. I'm sure he noticed my indecisiveness. "It's ok. You can do it." I look at him, and his face shows a confident expression.

I swallow hard and without wasting any second, I move forward. I pull the neck of the shirt aside before licking the flowing blood. He lets out a muffled sound that I try to ignore. Once I clean up the area, I readily sink my fangs on the soft skin and start drinking his blood. He instinctively shivers, and the sound that comes out from his mouth reverberates inside me.

There is something about the taste of his blood that I like very much. Perhaps the tangy of his powerful magic, or the bitterness of that dark thread that courses in him. I let out a satisfied growl at the taste of the best blood I had ever drunk. I was so focused on the taste, that it suddenly hit me, or more like, it didn’t. His emotions didn’t hit me. I abruptly open my eyes and separate from him. What's this? How was it possible?

His hand pulls my head down to his neck once again. “I said it would be ok. Go all the way.” He says in a soft voice. It is like being hypnotized as I once again latch onto the already open wound and he gasps. If the Vampire Elders knew there is high quality blood that doesn’t seem to affect the gift, then he would be taken away from me. The thought makes me growl again and I embrace the body tightly.

The closeness of our bodies allows me to catch him when he finally gives out.

Only then, I manage to react and realize that I messed up again.

And all because of my selfishness.

…

"So you have a sulking composer. Do you really expect me to help you with that?" I am with Ned in his car, back from buying the groceries.

"He's been acting weird. He rarely listens to me, but now, it's as if I'm just painted. This has never happened before and as far as I know, you are the only one he's in contact with on a daily basis. If not you, then who or what?" So, this guy has been telling me that Leander is distracted since a few days ago. Basically, since the day I let Leander suck me dry. As strange as that sounds. Well, the thing is that I died, and then came back to life.

But that’s not something the Muggle—now confirmed—Ned needed to know.

I wonder if it was too much of a shock, what I did.

After the disastrous lessons on Occlumency I got from Snape, I had decided to never touch the subject. It seems my own words are crap as I did touch the subject again. Learning Occlumency by my own was… terrible. I had no idea what I was doing at the beginning, I read and nothing stayed in my head. It all seemed so complicated. Yet once I got the hang of it, it was simpler. The first step was to have the charming experience to see your memories once again and decide what to do with them. And that’s where picturing the mindscape comes.

According to what I read and—vaguely—understood, mindscapes could be formed at will or not. Meaning, if one had talent for Occlumency, then one could create their own mindscape to their own liking; then there were those without talent, like me, which got one by default. My mind chose my safest place. Guess where? Yes. Apparently, my mind was comfortable and safe at a vampire’s house. Leander’s house. And there I thought, I didn’t belong.

Working with what I had, I started arranging my memories and placing them where I thought most convenient. For example, memories of my favorite classes were put at a shelf in the living room; placid memories of my time at Hogwarts with my friends were in the kitchen’s cabinets; memories of my relatives were specifically put in the toilet; harsh memories of war were placed, for lack of a better choice, at the basement room; the meager happy memories I had, plus my suicide attempts were arranged at Leander’s studio. That song he composed about my feelings constantly played there.

It was a basic arrangement, and it was incomplete, yet I was content with the hard work.

Most likely, when he got a glimpse of my emotions, he was transported to the studio. So, he was probably battling between happiness and death.

It might really be my fault he was in that state...

"Oh well, he will get over it soon, don't worry about it." Ned laughs. I roll my eyes. Who's the one worrying? So far, he's the one ranting about it.

As soon as we get to the house, I take the groceries to the kitchen and into the fridge. Ned heads upstairs as always, and doesn't leave until he goes back to the city late into the night. As for me, I just walk to my room, and then begin to work on my latest article: Why Occlumency is not for Fools like me. Thanks to the first hand experience, my quill flies over the parchment and produces the first draft.

As I get immersed in the article I don’t notice someone has entered the room until a voice takes me out of my focus. When I raise my head, I find Ned standing by the threshold. I find it pretty strange as he has never come to my room.

"Trocar says he wants to talk with you. He didn't tell me why." He informs me. I just nod confused. Why would he want to talk with me? Isn't he sulking in his studio?

After relaying the message, Ned leaves and I am there with a head full of thoughts as to why Leander decided today is a perfect day to talk to me. Well, whatever it is, I have to listen to whatever he wants to say. So, I head to the stairs in the living room and after a sigh, I slowly head up.

It's the second time I am in his studio and sincerely, it's not a place I am comfortable with in real life.

Although Magic and electronics get along on normal days, I’ve had some hiccups with appliances when my Magic spikes, reacting to my emotions. How to forget the fridge at my apartment had walked on its own when I was feeling like shit? Or that time the TV turned on on its own and rapidly changed channels when I had a panic attack. I hope nothing happens to Leander’s seemingly expensive equipment with whatever conversation he wants to have.

Once inside, my eyes quickly find him sitting on his chair, looking at a screen.

"You can sit down." He says, not turning but knowing I'm already in.

"I prefer to stand." I say. Honestly, whether I sit or not, it won't matter with whatever he will say.

"As you wish." He then turns around, his eyes fixed on mine. For a moment, he remains silent and I just look at him, waiting. "I think you should leave." He finally says. For some reason, I'm not surprised by those words. I did say my staying was going to be temporary, but I ended up staying over a month and it wasn't that I couldn't find some other place to live, but here I felt different. I felt my crappy life had some meaning.

Maybe, it’s time I find that meaning somewhere else.

"Ok. I'll leave tomorrow." I state. There was no point delaying the matter. As I turn to leave, he speaks.

"Why don't you say anything?" He looks at me as if waiting for something.

I tilt my head. "Why should I? I've been staying here for over a month, so it's normal for you to tell me to leave." I reason. It's better like this, right? I don’t have to inconvenience or bother him with my problems. He can go back to his composer-vampire life, and I can resume my journey on finally finding death.

"If you are so ready to leave, why did you stay to begin with?" I fall silent.

That's right. Why did I want to stay here? If I wanted to run away from myself, from my own life, from the patronizing individuals, then I could have gone anywhere. Why stay here specifically? His eyes don't stop staring at me, scrutinizing me, as if looking for the truth. I had no answer to that. Or, was it alright to say it?

"Remember when I told you I always wanted to be like water? I felt like that here, that's why I stayed. I just felt free. I felt my life finally had some meaning. I enjoyed dying by a vampire bite." I shrug and smile at him. Merlin, being immortal really made me a pervert. The vampire death was one of the most pleasurable ones I had. It’s on the top three together with being choked while having sex and dying of overdose. "Thanks for letting me live here, and sorry if I ever inconvenienced you." I wave my hand and quickly leave the room.