Wizard shopping
Regrettably, the third thing Rose could say she officially learnt about Hagrid was that his snoring was as loud as an aeroplane engine, a comparison that she could easily make due to currently being IN a plane, thousands of feet in the air.
She had been unfortunate enough to lose the game of rock paper scissors with Harry which meant she now had Hagrid snoring in the two seats next to her, with her father and brother also sleeping soundly across the aisle, as Slade had insisted on accompanying them. Sending your kids with a half giant you barely knew wouldn't have been a good idea, even if he had slept on your broken couch for two days.
It's not that she didn't like the giant man, he had proved quite amicable during their journey, but it certainly wasn't too comfortable. After Slade had adamantly refused any form of strange magical transport, they had to take a stuffed bus crammed to the edges with people for several hours to the nearest airport, which, if possible, was even more crowded as all the ones closest to Gotham had been bombarded with criminal attacks. Hagrid's lack of knowledge about technology or machines certainly didn't make it easier.
Convincing everyone to let them take the journey now seemed effortless in comparison. It had taken Rose two days of pleading, promises and packing until her mother crushed her in a hug and waved as they left. Predictably, she wasn't eager at her young daughter's sudden decision to fly off to a boarding school so far away when Rose was home at either parent's house every day, without ever spending an overnight trip without someone, not to mention the drastic change in the curriculum at Hogwarts. At least it wasn't too much of a shock since they told her about Harry's powers when Rose developed her own, of a different kind.
Hagrid had to leave his flying motorbike there, they couldn't take it and he had only been planning on taking Harry along if necessary. She doubted it would last long, Grant would definitely crash it in a week if he was left with it for a minute. Hagrid also expressed confusion upon seeing their bags, which made the children wonder just how sheltered and old fashioned the magic world is. Apparently, the Hogwarts kids used some kind of huge trunks instead of suitcases and backpacks, a tradition Rose definitely wouldn't adhere to.
There was also the problem of Hedwig, the beautiful snowy owl that crash landed into their window and whom Harry had adopted after befriending her during her stay. Hagrid said she was a school owl, but he was sure Harry could keep her, though he did seem a bit unreliable as he told them he was very fond of magical animals, whatever they were. At this point, Rose wasn't sure whether to believe in or laugh at the prospect of unicorns and fairies.
Regardless of the issues, Hagrid was very talkative and so she learned a good deal of information about the magical world and Hagrid himself, as he had a tendency to go off topic.
This included:
- Hagrid was a half giant, with a human father and giantess mother. She didn't know how that happened but really didn't want to know. It did seem likely, if his formidable size was anything to judge by.
- He had been expelled from Hogwarts but kept the broken parts of his wand in his pink umbrella, which she found out when he used it to make the cabin crew let him on the plane. He refused to say why he was expelled though. Suspicious.
- There are sweets called chocolate frogs, and they apparently moved like real frogs, but were made of chocolate. Hagrid swore they weren't alive, but then how would they move? Why would wizards want to eat life like frogs?
- The customs in general were weird. All witches and wizards as far as Hagrid was aware didn't use 'muggle' stuff or technology. He was positively amazed at Harry's ordinary android phone that he received for his birthday - owls were the main form of communication, which really seemed unnecessary to Rose. They had all that magic and still preferred to clean owl droppings than buy some cheap phone off the Internet, or bother to learn what any of that is.
- Linking to the previous point, wizards are all too reliant on magic. Hagrid had used some spell on almost every personnel member they came across to get them through. Confunding? Something like that. It was funny at first, but he ended up using it way too much at the airport, especially during baggage control when they asked him to take off his gigantic coat.
- There are books about, and including, Harry. That idea was by far the most ridiculous. It's not like he did anything apart from surviving, he doesn't even remember any of it, and Hagrid tells him to prepare for fans and fame. At least Harry's normal, and looked more frightened than smug, so she won't have to be too worried about it getting to his head soon.
- Slytherin is known as the 'bad' house out of the four Hagrid mentioned, and they shouldn't want to get in there as all the bad wizards are from it. Why do they even have it then? Do they tell all the kids in it that? Is there a choice? She'd have to wait and see for herself apparently.
The pilot announced their subsequent descent, and the flashing lights and buildings darkened by the veil of night made the cityscape of London look like any other large city Rose encountered. As Slade and Hagrid fumbled with passports, luggage and the hastily forged documents accompanying Hedwig, she was glad to stay a few steps back with Harry, waiting to finish the ordeal.
'Hey, look at that kid over there with his parents, they're so shocked to see the owl, they're dropping their bags!' Rose laughed alongside Harry, observing every stunned passer by who walked past Slade, who was cursing loudly while attempting to fit the squawking Hegwig's cage on the overflowing baggage cart.
'Yeah, no wonder wizards don't travel like this. Do you think they use broomsticks?' Harry asked in a joking manner.
'Sure they do. With a black cat and pointy hat to boot.'
'No!' gasped Harry, dramatically putting a hand on his chest, 'I am NOT wearing a pointy hat!' as they both erupted into fresh peals of laughter, while Slade gave up and thrust the owl cage (a large discount bird cage from a local Gotham pet store) at Hagrid and pointed in the direction of more baggage carts.
'No, you don't understand, I'd look awful!' he continued, as the people around them turned to stare disapprovingly at the disruptive children.
'I- I think we're being a bit too loud.' Rose gasped out, 'We'd better quiet down a bit or they'll kick us out and dad will be mad. Anyway, what do you think of the house things that Hagrid mentioned? He made it seem pretty important.'
'Dunno, the descriptions seem like some of the trashy mottos I get in school like 'Your future you decide' or 'You can be anything' blah blah. The whole description of 'you're in here so you're this and this will be your future'. How do they decide who goes where? And being smart or brave or whatever is a weird way to decide what teams and classes we'll basically be in.'
'Yeah, and what Hagrid said about the 'evil house'. Do they just go 'alright kid you ended up in the evil group, so be mean now'? Can't they mix up the members a bit?'
'A lot of the things Hagrid said do seem really strange. And we have to look out for- you know- the... headteacher guy.' Harry whispered conspiratively, glancing around at the dispersing passengers.
'Don't worry, he doesn't stand a chance with us. It'll be fine. For you at least. I've got no idea how I'm supposed to pretend I'm magic.'
'You said you had a plan!'
'I lied okay?!'
'It's the reason why dad let you go!'
'Okay, sheesh, sorry. Don't you dare tell him though!'
'Fine, but-'
'I'll work it out!... Any ideas?'
Harry thought for a moment. 'You're just very stupid? Ow! You didn't have to hit me, it was a suggestion!'
'You're definitely not ending up in the smart house idiot!'
The bickering duo rapidly stood up straight away from each other with their best neutral expressions as Slade walked up. 'We finally got the stupid owl ready, I called a taxi and Hagrid says he can take us somewhere. You weren't arguing, were you?'
'Nope.' They declared simultaneously, and started to follow him outside.
'Somewhere' turned out to be a small evanescent pub, one of many on the corner of a busy London street, innocuously inconsuspicious among the throng of shops with signs ranging from blaring neon to sleek brand names.
'There it is! The Leaky Cauldron.'
Hagrid was the one to point it out, and start leading them towards it, which was quite disconcerting, as nobody else seemed to even notice it, and it didn't even have a plaque with the name outside. She wouldn't admit it, but Rose was actually rather glad that their father accompanied them.
They entered a stuffy, shabby room with a low ceiling, and small groups of customers scattered about, conversing in a low buzz of noise. Some of them smiled and nodded at Hagrid, and the bald, elderly barman behind the counter asked him if he would like his usual.
'Sorry, can't Tom. I'm on Hogwarts business.' Hagrid replied, gesturing to the three behind him with his massive hand.
Was it just Rose, or did the pub go completely still and silent?
All the customers stopped talking, as if in utter shock and disbelief, craning their necks to look at Hagrid in bewilderment. No, not Hagrid. Something behind him. Harry.
'Is it- it can't be...' someone muttered, staring at Harry slackjawed.
'It is.' Hagrid announced proudly, clapping a hand on Harry's arm so forcefully that the boy almost fell over.
A flurry of noise and motion ensued, as what seemed to be the entire pub crowded over her startled brother, shaking his hand and repeating how great it was to meet him. To her amazement, Rose had to hide behind Hagrid to avoid getting bowled over by a short man in a top hat. The whole debacle was strange, how would they even recognise him if he was a baby then? And why were they fawning over him as if he actually did something, instead of simply living?
Nobody seemed to be in a hurry to leave, and so Hagrid and the equally bewildered Slade had to act as bodyguards on either side of Harry, with the former providing helpful commentary and introductions.
'This is Professor Quirrel Harry!' he boomed over the noise as a pale young man approached, twitching occasionally. 'He's the Defense against the dark arts teacher at Hogwarts.' Quirrel shook Harry's hand, and nervously stuttered a greeting.
'Poor fellow, I heard he got into a nasty situation with some hags an' vampires when abroad. Scared of his job, an' the students too. Now follow me.'
They were lead out of the Leaky Cauldron into a dingy back alley where the trashcans were, and Rose was seriously considering leaving the bizarre situation. Instead, Hagrid thought for a moment then tapped a brick with his wand, causing the wall to slowly move and disappear, creating an archway which revealed an old fashioned cobbled street lined with shops.
'Welcome to Diagon Alley.' Hagrid grinned, noticing their shock.
Display windows were cluttered with stacks upon stacks of what was most likely magical appliances, loud colourful signs advertised wares such as the latest broom or the best potions, swarming Rose with a torrent of perplexing information.
Owls and bats screeched on front of what seemed like a weird pet shop, people passing by in black cloaks talked loudly about unicorns and dragons, and all in all there was simply too much going on for the astonished children to follow.
'We'll have to go to Gringotts - the bank. I'm pickin' up something fer Professor Dumbledore, an' you'll need money. Harry's parents left 'im some in his vault.'
'Really? How? We also have money, we could wait for you.' Harry offered.
'Yeh don' have the right currency. Let's see, there's a Galleon, that's the gold one, the silver coins are Sickles, and the bronze are Knuts.' Came the reply, as he led them to an impressive white building that towered over the others.
'Wait, what did you say the last one was called?' Harry asked, as he and Rose snorted with laughter.
'A knut.' Hagrid replied, as they entered to see rows of desks with short creatures with unnaturally long fingers sitting behind them.
'These are goblins.' Hagrid announced, 'They're the bes' at all the money stuff. Yeh'd be mad ter try rob it.' he points at the engraved silver door they had just gone through, then he strode up to a desk with Slade looking back at the children then following him uneasily.
Rose checked the door with a frown, then retreated to its other side, beckoning Harry after them. Neither of them really knew what to expect, but, undeniably, a warning had been painstakingly etched on the door:
Enter, stranger, but take heed
Of what awaits the sin of greed,
For those who take but do not earn,
Must pay dearly in their turn,
So if you seek beneath our floors
A treasure that was never yours,
Thief, you have been warned, beware
Of finding more than treasure there.
'Well, that's not menacing.' Rose quipped.
'Do they just expect to get robbed?' Harry asked, as they returned back to the main room.
'It's a bank, duh. That message is practically advertising for robbers though. You see this and think 'I'll try'. Hey, I bet wizards have cool spells to unlock doors and all that! Man, even Catwoman doesn't have that, Batman doesn't stand a chance. I think Hagrid said wizards can teleport too!'
'I think I'm kinda obliged to stop you from robbing banks and ending up in Arkham or Belle Reve before you can legally drive.' Harry replied.
'I'll give you half.'
'Deal.'
Slade then walked up to them with the unmistakable expression of a man who has utterly given up. 'They keep money in underground vaults. We're going on a medieval rollercoaster to get there.'