home
“This is a place where I don’t feel alone,
This is a place where I feel at home.”
The wizarding world is filled to the brim with magic but Regulus thinks the most magical thing it could ever offer is the Hogwarts Express.
He remembers the first year he saw it, when he had sent Sirius off to Hogwarts for the first time, watching in awe as the train pulled away, his brother’s long black hair hanging out one of the windows as they both frantically waved goodbye. Regulus had been struck then, by the simpleness of it all. A train, that would seem quite ordinary to even muggles, but would change a witch or wizard’s life for ever.
When it come to the Black Brothers, the train meant one thing: escapism. It acted like a getaway car, a transition between prison, torture, and silence, to a place filled with chaos and a family carved from more than just blood. It was the only thing in the entire world that would provide safety and protection from their parents for a whole year. For Sirius, this was heaven.
For Regulus, it was home.
And to the both of them, it was simply, magic.
Every year, without fail, when Regulus steps onto the not-so-white floor of the train and smells the inevitable stench of burned robes and typical student sweat, his shoulders relax, his sigh of relief evident, and his heart lighter. Here, in the confines of a pristine red train, Regulus is safe. His mother can’t touch him, his father can’t scream. He’s okay. He survived another holiday.
This time, however, it’s a little bit different. Instead of having an overprotective brother by his side or staggering in alone and bruised, Regulus had, uhm, well he had James.
It was quite surprising, really, that James stuck with him even during their navigation on the busy platform. Sirius had clung to him relentlessly throughout the holidays, not letting him live 2 minutes out of his sight. Even sleeping, Sirius insisted he be in his room, on a couch where Sirius can look at him any time he wanted. Almost as if he thought Regulus was a figment of his imagination, something that would vanish any time. Regulus isn’t entirely convinced he’s wrong.
However, as soon as his brother caught a glimpse of the tall scarred boy with messy hair and a familiar jumper, Remus Lupin become his sole attention and Regulus was all but forgotten. Sirius had grinned manically, eyes glinting with happiness, and skipped towards him, ridiculously singing out ‘Moony’ over and over again at the top of his lungs.
Regulus isn’t sure how he hasn’t been admitted to St. Mungo’s for insanity yet.
James laughed at Sirius, waving at Remus eagerly and blowing him a cheeky kiss with a wink, causing Sirius to pout, but not once did he move from Regulus’ side. Regulus isn’t sure why, but he isn’t too mad about it either. It can be weird and a bit alienating to arrive to the platform alone, so James was a welcome intrusion, even if he was quite annoying too.
The rest of the holidays themselves were… good. Better than any that Regulus had spent in the jail that was Grimmauld Place. Despite feeling a little bit isolated and misplaced, he wasn’t exactly upset about being in the Potter household. In fact, he found it quite warm and comforting.
Mainly due to Effie and Monty, of course.
The pair were made to be parents. Built in such a way that their hugs were lovely and their smiles were always generous. They walked into a room and the room became a personification of what home was meant to feel like. Regulus liked them. They made him feel more welcome in that house than his parents ever had in the place he grew up in.
Effie was wonderful, really, with her burnt pancakes and crooked smile, her constant worry and contagious laughter, but Monty is who held Regulus’ heart. His quiet nature, and subtle jokes that only Regulus caught on to. His passion for potions and adoration of classic literature. Monty was the type of person that smiled like sunshine and made you want to be a better person just by being there for you.
It was unnerving, the affection that Regulus felt for Monty, so weirdly rushed and overwhelming how quickly he trusted a man he had never met before. But as Regulus has said, unlike Orion, Fleamont Potter was meant to be a dad. And Regulus couldn’t help but be endlessly enamoured by the older man’s easiness with tender care.
Effie may be the healer of his scars and wounds, but without Monty, Regulus isn’t sure he would have stayed the entire holiday.
Regulus could see why James is the way he is. Entirely altruistic and joyful. He saw a lot of both Effie and Monty in him. Effie’s heroic inclination to rescue others from danger and Monty’s quiet devotion to healing matters of the soul. It wasn’t anything like the boisterous and borderline obnoxious James Potter he had been told to avoid in the Hogwarts halls or that he’s seen bounding between classes. The James he saw over the holidays was new.
New in the way that Regulus felt oddly comforted around him, ready to let down walls that nobody else could tear down. New in the way that he wanted to laugh and the stupidest jokes James said that he would normally roll his eyes at. New in the way that made Regulus feel safer than he ever had before. New in the way that made him smile.
Regulus isn’t entirely sure that’s a good thing.
Didn’t matter that much anyways seeing as the two barely hung out, neither did Regulus dwell on it for very long simply due to Sirius’ constant presence and bursting into the doors unannounced and loudly, completely oblivious to anything in the room. If someone was bleeding out on the floor, Sirius would probably finish singing the entirety of Bohemian Rhapsody before even realising.
Weirdly enough, Regulus knows that it was a good thing.
And although he would never admit this to anyone, especially Sirius, Regulus missed him.
Ew.
Regardless, James was here now, a safe distance away from Regulus that they weren’t touching but close enough that their shoulders brushed every once in a while, and Regulus could smell the subtle hint of chocolate chip cookies that James had baked in the morning as an apparent ‘tradition’ to bring onto the train. It made Regulus want to curl up into a ball and sleep in the haze of baked goods.
He’s just tired.
As always, the train air was sticky and humid, sticking onto every inch of his skin and Regulus let it, appreciated it even. The gooey scent of disgusting teens was something that he allowed to stick to his body, warming him like layers of blankets. It reminded him of how far he currently is from the prim household that only ever smelt of sickeningly sharp mint and cold air that hurt his nose. The sweaty air was nothing he couldn’t handle in comparison.
“You okay?” James asks quietly, leaning down slightly to ensure that only Regulus could hear it.
Regulus nods in response, the stiffness in his spine subconsciously relaxing at his words, both of them moving swiftly through the crowd of people. Regulus lanced through stealthily, expertly avoiding any and all direct contact with anybody on the train. It made his skin shrivel when it was an unexpected touch and Regulus didn’t much like it.
“You sitting with us?”
“No, I’m sure my friends are waiting,” Regulus responds quickly, eager to see Pandora. Dorcas, Barty, and Evan too of course. But mostly Pandora.
He hadn’t written her throughout the holidays, owl and stationary left behind, and Pandora was sure to be fretting. He’s sure he would have been allowed to one of the Potter owls to send a letter but he felt a bit ashamed to ask, especially after they had spoiled him with new stationery and books for the upcoming school year, not even stopping at Gringotts to allow him to get his savings. Apparently the first time they tried with Sirius, it took hours before they properly verified him and allowed him through.
They assured him it was no problem but Regulus vowed to pay them back one day.
James nods but continues to follow Regulus, acknowledging and saying hi to various people as they make their way through the crowd but not stopping for any of them, dutifully following Regulus without hesitation. Regulus sees a few people throw them confused looks, some spiteful and some simply curious but he pays them no mind. James doesn’t seem to notice however, smile bright and lovely as always, not wavering when someone doesn’t wave back, laughing at himself instead. When that happens, Regulus rolls his eyes at James, making sure he can see and stops himself from smiling and indulging the boy whose ego is already the size of mountains.
Regulus walks all the way to the end compartment of the train where he knows his friends are waiting. He stops abruptly, looking at James.
“This is me,” he says, a little confused as to why the older boy was still standing behind him
“Okay,” James says, smile not leaving his face.
“Uhm… bye?”
James laughs at him, “Not going to introduce me to your friends?”
“Now why would I do that,” Regulus asks, resisting the urge to grin.
“Because they would love me.”
“Hm I’m not sure about that,” he says, although Regulus can very easily imagine Barty and Evan cracking ridiculous jokes with James or Pandora laughing with him at creatures nobody else can see or even Dorcas and James bullying some blood-purist Slytherins. It was eerily scary how easily James would fit in with his group of friends. But then again, James could fit it in with everybody couldn’t he?
“You’ll never know until you tr-,” James begins before getting interrupted by the compartment doors sliding open to reveal a grinning Barty.
“Reginald! I was beginning to think your old man finally finished you off!”
Regulus laughs at him, ignoring James slight frown at the words.
“Hello, Bartemius.”
Barty runs out to grab his shoulders and Regulus winces slightly but allows himself to be dragged into the compartment, not missing the way James follows him a little hesitantly. He smiles at James to reassure him, a little unsure as to why he does that.
“Ooh who’s the pretty boy?” Dorcas teases, knowing full well who James Potter is. From the corner of his eye, Regulus can see James blush slightly and he finds it weirdly endearing. How stupid is that?
“Hi, I’m James Potter.”
“Hello, James Potter,” comes a quiet voice from the corner of the compartment and oh, Regulus can’t help but smile at the familiar floaty tone of it.
“Dora!” he says slightly more excited than before, mouth pulling upward into a grin and moving toward Pandora to hug her. She returns the hug, squeezing slightly and whispering an ‘are you okay?’ into his ear, quiet enough so the others can’t hear. Regulus nods, turning his head slightly to kiss her temple in affection.
Many people found their friendship odd, thinking they were something more then simply friends. And in a way, they were right. Even though there were no romantic feelings involved, Pandora meant so much to Regulus. She was there for him when nobody else was, quietly standing supportively behind him, hearing Regulus out when others shut him down or get angry. She was the calm in his storm of thoughts and Regulus loved her to immeasurable amounts.
Pandora was the sister and caregiver that Regulus never had. In return, Regulus was the keeper of Pandora’s secrets and her second brother. Evan often jokes about Regulus being the key to Pandora’s box of curses, spilling the worst parts of her that made her human and not just a perfect artefact for their parents to show off. Evan isn’t usually wrong.
“Hello, Pandora is it?” James says, replying to her greeting.
Pandora’s face is slightly shocked as she nods, likely confused as to how James knows who she is.
“Evan, Dorcas,” Regulus greets formally, but the grin on his face is unmistakeable. Dorcas throws a pillow at Regulus.
“Where have you been?” she shouts, voice between laughter and concern.
“Thought you were dead,” Evan says, cackling wildly at Regulus’ mussed up hair from the pillow.
“In your dreams, Rosier,” Regulus says, a laugh bubbling on the tip his tongue. “I’m still kicking around, unfortunately.”
“We missed you, idiot,” Dorcas says finally getting up to hug him.
“Hey I didn’t get a hug,” Barty says, pouting slightly. Evan stands on his chair suddenly shouting ‘Incoming!’ as he jumps onto Barty, attacking him into a hug from above that causes them both to slam into the ground, the 5 of them laughing loudly, forgetting the stunned Gryffindor watching them all.
“James, these are my friends,” Regulus says softly, rolling his eyes at Evan trying to get up while Barty sits on his stomach in retaliation for the previous stunt.
James laughs quietly and it makes Regulus’ stomach flip.
“I’ll leave you to it then,” James says quietly. His hand raises slowly as he says it, threading his fingers through Regulus’ hair absent-mindedly. Regulus’ cheeks begin to burn at the contact, and he isn’t sure what’s happening. He only knows that he likes it. James straightens out his curls that were messy from Dorcas throwing the pillow a few moments prior. He seems entranced by Regulus’ hair, staring at it, eyes fixated and mouth in a small smile.
“Uhm,” Barty says, coughing and breaking the trance that James was in. He drops his hand quickly, eyes widening as if realising what he was doing. Regulus hears Dorcas chuckle somewhere and he wants to kill Barty.
“It’s okay James,” Regulus whispers softly, calming the worry that filled James’ eyes in the moment. James nods, looking slightly less fretful.
“Oh! Before I forget,” he says, smiling again and Regulus wants to make sure he never stops. James reaches into his satchel, digging through it before producing a box of cookies. “I packed some for you.”
“Oh my god!” Barty says, jumping up from Evan to snatch it, opening immediately and taking one out. He offers one to Dorcas before mumbling out a ‘thanks’, his mouth so full that Regulus isn’t totally sure that’s what he says.
“Pretty boy baked us cookies?” Dorcas says playfully, taking a small bite before letting out an obnoxious groan to indicate it tasted good.
“I baked Regulus cookies,” James says with a grin, emphasising Regulus’ name.
“But please, help yourselves!” Regulus says sarcastically, rolling his eyes at Dorcas and Barty. He turns back to look at James who is closing his satchel, amusement written all over his face.
“Thank you,” Regulus directs to James, a gentler tone to his voice then he’s comfortable with. In return, he gets a soft smile from James who nods subtly.
“Come find me if anything,” he says before adding, “or Sirius.”
“Okay.”
“Compartment 103.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Have fun, Regulus.”
Regulus nods and waves James goodbye as he leaves, a part of him wanting to follow but willing himself to stay still. He hears someone, probably Evan, snicker from behind him.
“Shut up,” he says, not turning around to face his friends, looking straight at the door James just exited through.
“Someone has a thing for pretty boyyy,” Dorcas says. Pandora laughs quietly, sounding as if she is trying to muffle it with her hand.
“No I don’t,” Regulus insists, slightly frustrated.
“Storytime!” Barty shouts.
Regulus rolls his eyes and shakes his head, turning to face his 4 friends and feeling any drop of annoyance seep out of him at the sight of them. They may be the worst, but they’re his.
And Regulus couldn’t ask for anything more.