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For the first time James Potter isn’t what wakes Sirius up, it’s his phone. It’s his phone ringing two hours before his alarm, or in other words, five o’clock in the bloody morning. It’s his manager, Alice, calling about who knows what.
‘Later,’ he thinks. ‘I’ll call her back later.’
So he grabs his phone to end the call. That's how he found the hundreds of notifications on his screen. James, Alice, Effie, and even his cousin Andromeda had called him. Everyone crazy enough to be up this early, and no one was stopping. Along with this are hundreds of Instagram notifications, more popping up by the second. Sirius can say that this, without a doubt, is the most his phone has ever been used.
Rubbing his eyes he sits up, silently cursing the world for waking him up. Couldn’t he deal with it in the morning? Or… later in the morning. Turning to look out the window, he notes that the sun isn’t even up yet. Why couldn’t he just sleep in?!?!?!?!
Groaning he grabs his phone again and opens up his texts with James.
Prongs
hey… how are you doing?
Prongs
pads don’t shut yourself away
Prongs
ok sorry, that wasn’t very nice
i’m here to talk if you want
…
Prongs
i know this probably hurts
it’s been a while
Prongs
ok
i get it
you don’t want to talk
i’m here if you need me
Pads
I was sleeping
…
Prongs
oh
sorry
but, um, do you want to talk about it?
Pads
talk about what
Pads
JAMES?!
Prongs
SORRY!
you dont know?
Pads
Um…no
Prongs
pads… you should probably talk to Alice
Pads
Are you ok?
Your kinda scaring me
Prongs
have you um…
checked Insta lately?
Pads
No….
Pads
WTF
Was getting tagged in a post by his brother whom he handed talked to in six years what Sirius expected when he opened up the app? No. Not at all. Still, there it is, right in front of him. Until it wasn’t. It was as if Regulus knew Sirius was looking and then decided to delete the post. It's too late. There are already articles written and posts about the post. People are talking. Scrolling Sirius can see the headlines. Black Brothers Reunited?! Regulus Black Tags Musician Brother Sirius Black, Acknowledging Him for the First Time!!!! Both Black Brothers In The SAME Movie?! It's article upon article upon article, they don’t stop. Sirius gets it, he really does, They've been in the spotlight for six years and never once have acknowledged the existence of the other, but Regulus deleted the post… Regulus didn’t mean it.
It was probably a friend, Sirius decides. They probably stole his phone and posted it late at night, and Regulus woke up to it just like he did. Or he was drunk. Sirius had never seen his little brother drink… but it has been six years… a lot can change. Secretly he’s happy, he’s wanted to reach out to Regulus for years, and now he has to. For work. He's scared more than anything. Scared, confused, and hurt. Regulus tagged him. Regulus deleted the post. How can he not be scared, he fucked it up six years ago. He fucked it up and Regulus hates him, he told him himself. It was the last words he ever said to Sirius, a mantra that plays over and over in his head. I HATE YOU SIRIUS! I HATE YOU! He shouldn’t have left Regulus. He hurt him. He knows he should pull out, it would be better for both brothers if they never saw each other again, but he can’t. He tells himself it's because it's a million-dollar contract. Because he's in a band with three other people who would be hurt if he pulled out. Deep down he knows though, he's selfish, he always has been, and Regulus is so close…
Alice's office is silent. No one is talking. Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter sit in four chairs facing Alice’s desk. In front of them sits Alice, and Minerva, along with the film's director Albus (in case they pull out of the film Alice had explained). They’re waiting for him to talk, Sirius knows this, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t know what to say, but he couldn’t speak if he tried. It’s as if he's frozen. Since the morning, memory after memory has been playing inside his head. It’s as if everything he had pushed away is flowing back into him, piece by piece. Him and Regulus on the roof looking at the stars. A 10-year-old Regulus sharing his (very bad) poetry with Sirius. The two of them playing around the house while their parents were at galas and charity events. Sirius writing Regulus letters from his boarding school.
“I don’t want to drop out”
At first, he doesn’t even realize he said anything, he only notices the sudden attention the room is giving him.
“You sure Pads?” James asks from his right. “We won't blame you if-”
“I’m sure,” He says, again without him truly realizing it.
“Im glad Mr. Black,” Albus speaks up. “You and your partners will be a huge asset to this film.”
“Sirius,” Alice says softly. “If you want we can try to make it so you see him as little as possible.”
When he doesn’t reply James does for him, “He would like that, yes.”
Sirius just nods his head. Anything to end this meeting? Anything so he can go lay down again. Away from this problem. Away from the thought of Regulus.
At some point, Albus leaves, and when he does so Minerva speaks up.
“Sirius, dear, If we knew… we wouldn’t have offered the job in the first place,” She says sympathetically.
“Its ok,” he responds. “It’s fine.”
Later that day, with his friends in the living room, Sirius sits wrapped in blankets on his bead. He had kicked James out only minutes prior. He’s alone, for the first time that day, and sometimes when he’s alone he does stupid things. So he grabs Instagram and quickly types a post, before silencing his phone and falling asleep.
Sirius Black @padfoot
@thebetterstar Your username is wrong, fits me better (I am better). Excited to see you too