Tired Of This Body

The train ride back to Hogwarts was entertaining to say the least, and Sirius did his best to make her feel included. Cordelia didn't sit in her usual cabin choosing to instead join the self proclaimed Marauders. Cordelia was too afraid that her friends wouldn't remain her friends after the fact that she probably got disowned from the 'Noble and Most Ancient House of Black'. Once back at Hogwarts she continued distancing herself from them as much as she could, She had classes with Barty and Evan but ignored them to her best ability, too scared of what they might say to her. After a few days, possibly the shittiest of her life, Pandora Lovegood, Barty Crouch Jr., Evan Rosier and Dorcas Meadows cornered her in a hall way and pulled Cordelia into a group hug. She was relieved more than anything, they were everything to her, well almost everything, and she couldn't stand to lose them.

"C'mon hun, lets go talk." Dorcas muttered to her, still encapsulating her in a tight hug.

The group relocated to Barty and Evans dorm which only housed the two of them as they were the only fifth year male Slytherins. Pandora draped herself atop of Barty's bed which he sat at the end of, Evan and Dorcas sat atop Evan's bed leaving space for Cordelia which she graciously took.

"How much have you heard?" She asked.

"Absolutely NOTHING!" Pandora shouted springing up from where she was laying. "How dare you ignore us for a week and not tell us why!"

"I might know a bit about it" Evan stated.

"What is it?" Dorcas asked softly.

"Do you want to tell them or should I?" Evan asked Cordelia.

"I know the whole story, I'll tell them." Cordelia responded. "Over Christmas break, Christmas eve specifically Mother told me that Sirius was getting disowned and I had to get married."

"To who?" Pandora interrupted.

"Well.. to me." Evan told them.

Barty, who had stayed silent so far burst out, "MY MAN? You have to marry my man?"

"See that's the thing... shortly after that this asshole old guy kind of assaulted me and Sirius punched him, Mother dragged us to the drawing room and kept cursing us, stupidly left us alone and Sirius brought us to the Potters." Cordelia answered.

Everyone was shocked silent until Barty broke it asking "Wait, the Potters? As in James Potter? The man you are helplessly in love with?"

She responded "I'm not in love with him, but yes the very same. He kissed me you know."

"What? Sorry can you repeat that?" Dorcas asked.

"James Potter kissed me." Cordelia answered

"Can I have some context please?"

"James Potter kissed me in a game of truth or dare."

With that everyone's hopes deflated a little bit, noticing this Cordelia spoke once again. "I dared him to kiss the hottest person there and he kissed me, me!"

"Were there any other girls there?" Pandora asked.

"No, but still queer people exist he might like both, PANdora."

"Hun, it's a possibility but don't get your hopes up just to get them crushed." Dorcas told her.

"Let's talk about something else shall we?" Cordelia told them.

+*+*+*+

About a week later found Cordelia ten minutes late to History of Magic, she knew she wouldn't get in trouble for it, Professor Binns didn't actually take attendance after the first day. Nonetheless she was basically sprinting to class so she wasn't late regardless. Seconds later she collided with a tall object, dropping all of her books in the process, hands reached out to steady her. Cordelia looked up to whoever it was and assumed it was James for a second, until she realized they didn't really have anything fucking in common, except for the fact that they both wore glasses, although those weren't very similar either. He stooped down and grabbed her books, handed them to her, and gave her a once over look that didn't really seem like it was to make sure she was okay.

"What's a pretty little girl doing running around?"

"I'm late." Cordelia responded

"To which class gorgeous?"

"History of Magic"

"You know very well he doesn't notice if anyone is late of not."

"Maybe so, but this year is my O.W.L year, I can't afford to miss anything."

"I'm sure you have friends in that class who'll take notes for you, yes?"

"I do, but still" She was cut off.

"C'mon, it'll be fun, skip with me. We can get to know each other better." He said with a wink.

Against Cordelia's better judgement she followed him to an enclosed alcove behind a tapestry.

He started talking again, "What's your name you pretty little thing?"

"Cordelia, and yours?" She responded briskly.

"You mentioned something about O.W.Ls, are you in your fifth year?"

"I am, what year are you?"

"Why do you speak so harsh when you look so sweet?"

"Why aren't you answering my questions?"

"Alright alright, calm down sweet thing. My name is Dylan Greene and I'm in my N.E.W.T year." He answered quickly as if it was information that should have been kept secret. "I quite like your hair, why do you wear it up as opposed to down?" He stated as he reached out and twisted a stray lock around his finger.

"It's easier that way I suppose, I haven't really thought about it."

"Why don't you take it down, I'm sure you'll look beautiful with it down." Dylan said as a reached out and took her hair out of her ponytail.

Curls sprung around her face and she had to push a few out of the way.

"There. Much more ladylike. Wouldn't you say?" He said while looking her up and down once again taking a bit too long for his eyes to return to hers.

"I guess."

"You're a very pretty girl, did you know that?"

With that he bent down and kissed her. It was much less gentle than when James had kissed her, he was much more forceful like he didn't care about who she was just that she was kissing him back, and she was, much against her better judgement, kissing him back. All she could think about was James, how his kiss felt, how he looked after a Quidditch game with his brown skin absolutely glistening with sweat, and how this could have been him but probably never will be. After a while he pulled back and wiped his lips.

"How about we meet up here again Wednesday after dinner?" He asked.

"That works."

"Bye for now little lady."

There was Wednesday then Friday then Saturday then Monday and many more all along the same lines of Dylan kissing her and her kissing him back, him setting another time for them to meet up, and it was always in secret places. Until one day Cordelia worked up all the courage she had and asked him a question.

"What are we exactly Dylan?"

"Well, I'd like for you to stay my precious little secret for now. I'm not quite ready for us to be open quite yet." Then went back to kissing her like nothing had happened.

There were many comments that made her wonder why she met up with him, one of them he asked her was, "Why do you hang out with Loony Lovegood?" and "Stop acting like we need to be anything other than what we already are, it's more than enough."

It had been almost a month since she met him and the meetings have gotten worse and worse, he was more demanding and much less sweet. At one of said meetings he had put a hand up her shirt and tried to feel her up.

She pulled away immediately asking, "What are you doing?"

He responded with "C'mon I'll make it easy for you, come here sweetheart."

"Sorry, but I'm late meeting up with my brother."

Cordelia went to leave when he pulled her back and pressed her back to the wall kissing her again but unlike all the times before she didn't kiss him back. It was terrible, he was terrible, and she really wanted Sirius to rescue her like he did on Christmas Eve; but she had to rescue herself this time. She pushed him off of her and ran off quickly, him quick at her heels.

"Piss off asshole!" She yelled at him.

"Just you see sweetheart, no one else will want you if you don't fucking satisfy their needs. Just you wait you'll be running back to me before you know it!"

She ran all the way to Gryffindor Tower waiting for someone to come across and let her in. She was only pacing for a few minutes before the portrait swung open showing one Lily Evans.

"Hey! How are you? Here to see Sirius I presume?"

Cordelia nodded. Lily let her in and she immediately went to her brothers room swinging the door open.

Peter looked at her frazzled state and said "Library." Before disappearing.

Thankfully there was no one else in there except Sirius.

He immediately noticed her state and asked her frantically, "What's going on? Are you okay?"

With that she burst out into tears, he went over to her and pulled her to his bed; then, as if he was sheltering her from the world cradled her to his chest, she hugged him back just as tightly.

"He- he tried to-" She mumbled but unable to continue just buried her face further into Sirius's shoulder.

"Who? What'd who try to do? What's going on?" He asked frantically trying to understand what was happening.

"No- no Sirius please- please don't."

"Alright, alright.. you're safe here.. it's okay.. you'll be okay" Sirius mumbled.

Time went strange after that, everything was a blur that went too fast to understand or too slow to decipher anything that was happening; all she knew was that Sirius was next to her and would stay there as long as she wanted him to. After a little while Cordelia had calmed down quite a bit and noticed that there were quite a few more people in the room than there used to be. She pulled away from Sirius quickly and wiped her eyes, embarrassed that people like Lily Evans, Mary Macdonald, and Marlene McKinnon had seen her like that. There was also Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter and to her relief her friends there.

"I asked James to grab a FEW people and he brought the whole damn school" Sirius said somewhat guiltily.

"Alright hun.. what happened?" Dorcas asked.

Cordelia considered lying and saying that she was okay but that would have been pointless.

"I suppose I'll start at the beginning shall I?" Cordelia asked with a somewhat shaky voice, and cleared it quickly; Mary gave a encouraging nod. "It started about a month ago.. I was late to History of Magic so I was running and I knocked into this guy, he picked up my books and... and he convinced me to skip class so he could 'get to know me' or something like that... he kissed me and I kissed him back."

"Wait! He kissed you within the hour of you guys meeting?" Pandora asked.

"Yeah.. he did.. he made us meet up whenever he wanted to and whenever was convenient for him whenever he felt like kissing someone... I don't think- I don't think he ever actually cared about me."

She saw Mary and Lily share concerned looks.

"Today- today he just he went too far... he- he put his hand up my shirt and I pulled away but- but he pulled me back... I got away and ran here..."

"Who is this asshole?" Marlene asked.

"His name's Dylan"

"Wait Dylan? As in Dylan Greene?" Lily asked and all the sixth years in the room went quiet and shocked, Mary looked like she was about to throw up.

Lily whispered something in her ear, Mary nodded and they left the room quickly followed by a concerned Marlene.

"Is someone going to tell us who this guy is?" Barty asked.

Remus responded although he looked rather pale, "He's an asshole" but didn't say much more.

"Darling, I hate to say this but he's made a name for himself and not in a good way; he seduces women and then.. well he.." Dorcas told her.

"I'm gonna kill that asshole this time, first Mary now my baby sister? Oh he's fucking DEAD" Sirius yelled.

"Mate, calm down a bit yeah?" Peter asked.

Pandora stood up swiftly with that determined look of hers and said just as swiftly "Sirius, with me." They swept out of the room.

"Oh fuck." Cordelia said as Evan and Barty ran after them realizing what they were going to do as well as Dorcas after a second of deliberation.

"Pete, lets go try to stop them from getting a years detention shall we?" Remus asked although he was just as mad as the others.

That left just James and Cordelia, she put her head in her hands closing her eyes tightly.

She felt the bed dip next to her as James asked softly "Are you okay?"

"Yeah... he- he didn't do much past putting his hand up my shirt; just scary y'know? Well maybe you don't, you have a dick."

"I'm so sorry, men really suck."

"Only most, you're not too bad." She told him with a soft smile.

James' cheeks got a little red but it's possible she didn't see correctly.

Cordelia cleared her throat and asked "Do you mind if I stay here for the night? I'd go to my dorms but..."

James didn't even hesitate before saying "Of course you can! Who'd you like to sleep with? Wait no that sounds dirty... You get what I'm trying to say right?"

"Yeah, I do, I'd love to sleep with you James; whichever way you like" She said with a wink.

This time there was no mistaking it James flushed tomato red.

"Sirius has some pajamas that might fit you, you're not that much shorter than him, I'll go change into mine. But be forewarned I am a cuddler." He said.

James Potter was indeed a cuddler.