When Lily was young her family didn’t have a tail feather left. Her father went out one night and spent it all on a game of cards. Lost it all too. He kept going back though, to spend what they managed to scrape up. Spent the rest of his life drunk until he got a hangover he couldn’t quite wake from. Her sister, Petunia, cried for weeks, sitting up at his grave woefully losing the entire point. Lily said good riddance, she didn’t even show up for the burial, she took a swig from her father’s favorite bottle instead. It’s not that she didn’t love her father, she did hold some love for him. He was her father, after all, but she was tired of having nothing and dragging around dead weight is all. Her mother bounced back fairly quickly, so it’s not as if she could feel pity for her. Petunia was the only one who seemed to be affected, and even that stopped after three weeks. They never spoke of him again.
Lily went with her mother when she went to town every day. Wandering the streets with her head held high, while her mother smiled at rich older men. On her twelfth birthday, she was doing much of the same. She remembers coughing out dust clouds, and wiping sweat off her forehead when she saw it. The fight broke out in the road just up ahead, right outside of the bar. It started out all horns and rattles, the two men went fist to fist. Trying to catch the other out on a forfeit. In two seconds flat their guns were out. Lily swears she can still hear the ringing in her ear even now. The constant monotonous tone, and the glistening blood laying out and sizzling on the hot dirt are ingrained in her mind. With her mouth agape she stood frozen in place. Her eyes were glued to the pistol, not from fear, from something else entirely.
The winner looked proud of himself, he didn’t look a bit guilty or terrified of what would happen to him if he stayed at the scene of the crime. It’s how it went back then. Even the sheriff was terrified of the cowboys that came strolling around, with their guns resting on their hips. Swiftly he leaned over and collected a bag of money from the man’s belt and plucked that cowboy hat from his head. Still in her spot, Lily watched dazed as the winner turned around and smiled at her.
“You didn’t run, kid?”
It was then that Lily realized the entire street was cleared, not one person in sight. Even in this blistering heat people are always around. Now all they have is their noses pressed against the windows, waiting for the dust to clear.
“No, sir,” She said. It’s not the first she’s seen a dead body. She knew it wouldn’t be the last.
The man hummed, strolling over to her. She didn’t spook, not even to flinch. Roughly he shoved the loser’s hat on her head. “Keep my prize.”
“Do I get the money too then?” She found herself asking, even with the gun right in her eye line.
He only laughed, “In time you may earn your own.”
He didn’t stick around after that, cowboys never do. But she kept the hat, hiding her blazing hair underneath it. She skipped back to her mother, waiting just outside the saloon so she could tell her everything she saw. She wore that hat everywhere she went, despite the wear and tear on the old thing. Only two weeks later cowboys were outlawed from ever stepping foot in the town. Too much blood, even the dirt began to get stained by it. There was thievery too, but that didn’t stop. None of it did. They just got better at hiding it. Lily couldn’t wear her hat out in the town anymore. Petunia told her to burn it. She didn’t. That wasn’t even an option for her. It was a symbol of a life she could have. She’d kill to have it. The riches and the glory… mainly the riches.
Her mother married again when she was fifteen, he died when she was sixteen. Unexplained causes. He was buried next to her father, she never visited either of them. If she’s being honest she doesn’t even remember his name. It didn’t matter anyway her mother married again when she was seventeen, same exact thing happened to him. It happened two more times before it caught up to her mother. She was buried far from her husbands, in a wonderful land below a dying tree. Lily didn’t visit her either, she had much bigger plans.
Now at twenty-three, she’s stepping into the same saloon her mother did before her. Laughing with all the older men, slowly dragged her fingers underneath their shirts. She’s at the perfect wedding age, in fact, she may even be a little late. It doesn’t matter, men flock to her anyway. All they want is a little bit of attention, she has plenty of it to go around, for a little bit at least.
Petunia got hitched years ago, as soon as she hit eighteen. His name is Vernon, he’s rich, gives her everything she ever wanted and more. He’s an awful-looking guy, a ten-cent man at best, but Lily has been with worse so she can’t say much. It’s slim pickings out here, she doesn’t have the space to pick and choose. She takes anything she can, then she uses them for everything they have. She no longer has a fear of not being able to eat supper when the time comes. She doesn’t need more, she could surely settle down with a nice man and become his housemaid. But she’s never wanted that, she wants to buy a horse and ride out of this nothing town. She’s almost there, almost.
Dancing around the joint she lingers her eyes on all her options. Some of them she recognizes, and by the way they’re avoiding her eyes they recognize her too. She almost laughs at the thought before she lands her eyes on a man she’s never seen here before. He has a drink held carelessly in front of him, his eyes sharp as if they’re looking for prey. Lily is far from it but she still finds herself drawn to him. How could she not? He’s the first attractive thing she’s seen in his place in years. There’s no dirt in his curly black hair, and his skin is pristine. She might actually enjoy this.
“Howdy,” she greets, leaning down on the table in front of him.
His eyes fall over her, he’s not even subtle about it, “Howdy.”
“Is this seat taken?” She bats her eyelashes, they love it when she does that.
“No ma’am it’s not,” he replies. He sounds like he’s from the city, he has that way about him. Most people would outlaw him, shove him in the back and tease him in whispers behind his back. Lily never involves herself in it. She prefers city-slickers anyway, they normally come with full pockets. They’re stupid too. Innocent isn’t exactly the right word but they never know her plans before she reveals them to them, and by then it’s already too late.
“What’s a man like you sitting in a place like this for?” Lily questions, sliding into the chair. She keeps her eyes directly on him, making it so he can’t look away.
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” The man asks. “A place like this doesn’t look like a place for a woman like you.”
She smiles, “You’d be surprised.”
The man raises his eyebrows, “Hiding something from me are you?”
“I’m always hiding something,” Lily tells him. “Am I still worth it?”
He brushes his eyes across her one more time, “I’d say so.”
“Good,” She smiles, “The name’s Lily.”
“Regulus,” the man says, the word flowing from his lips like a freshwater stream. She’s never heard a name like that before. She’s drawn to it. “Remember that.”
“Oh, you’ll hear me use it,” Lily tells him. “Don’t you worry about that.”
The thing about catching prey is it doesn’t all happen in one night. Surely she can sleep with them one night and make it the last thing they’ll ever do, but it won’t help her find where the money is hidden. It’s not as if there’s a map pointing her directly to it. She needs to get into a man’s head first, and dig around his bones until she finds what she needs. Then she can dispose of him and quickly move on to the next. Regulus gives her nothing in the first conversation, not even when she tries all her true and tried tricks. There’s something hidden up his sleeve and she doesn’t understand what it could possibly be.
He looks saddened when it’s time for her to go, his eyes full of stars. Though he doesn’t invite her back when her to his place, he doesn’t tell her anything. He doesn’t even try to kiss her when she tries to leave the saloon. They go their separate ways. She doesn’t understand how he ticks, but she’s always loved a challenge. No one in the god-awful place has been that for her. Regulus will be fun. She may even hesitate before she puts something in his drink. It would be a shame to lose a man as handsome as he.
The next day she tries again. She comes in later than she normally does, hoping he would pine for her. Wonder in that pretty little head of his where she got up to. The sun is high and blazing down on her, burning her skin as she walks through the swinging doors. She catches him in the very same corner he was in the day before. This time he’s not alone, there’s a man sitting with him. That man is James Potter.
Lily has only ever heard of him in passing, he runs wild through towns flirting with pretty women and courting them in bed before leaving the next morning. Taking half their money with him. No one can ever catch him for it though. People don’t trust women in this town not to be making it up for attention. At least they’re not dead. The same can’t be said for the men. Though Lily has never met him she holds a strong grudge against him. Especially now that he seems to have gone to steal her real estate. There’s no woman around today, that must be the reason he’s got his eyes set on a new prize. Lily has no qualms about trying to woe him as well. Two for the price of one. James is smart though, much to Lily’s disagreeance. It’s much harder to catch a cowboy, they know all her tricks like the back of their hand.
Lily doesn’t hesitate before walking over, sliding herself into the chair next to James. She smiles at him coldly, “James Potter as I live and breathe.”
“Oh, so you’ve heard of me?” James questions, circling his finger over the lip of his drink. “I always enjoy meeting fans, Lily Evans.”
Lily nods, “You’ve heard about me too then?”
“I’ve heard many things,” James tells her, his eyes flicking over to Regulus. “Have you heard them?”
He shakes his head quickly, “I haven’t.”
“Should I tell him?” James asks. “I’m sure he’d love to know.”
This cat-and-mouse game could go on until they’re standing out in the street with two guns pointed at each other. Lily would do it. She would kill a man to get something for herself, she’s done it dozens of times before. She’s not afraid to admit it.
“I think you should leave, James,” she tells him. “There are plenty of beautiful women in the next town over.”
He looks her up and down, “I’m sure of it.”
When Lily looks over she finds Regulus looking between the two of them, a hazy fog rolling over his eyes. There’s something hidden there, and she wants to find it. The urge to squeeze a part of her chest that’s never been of any use to her before. James seems to have the same idea, as his eyes are glued to the man as well. Regulus looks overwhelmed if anything, constantly being dragged between the two of them.
“I think it’s up for Regulus to choose,” James says. “Right?”
“Of course,” Lily says, slowly gliding her foot against his leg. “What do you say?”
Regulus swallows thickly, “Oh.”
It hasn’t even been two days and the man has already cracked, this is much easier than Lily thought possible. She can even ignore the proud smirk sitting on James’ lips. He doesn’t exist to her right now.
“It’s alright baby,” Lily says, “Take your time.”
“I don’t,” Regulus stutters flustered. There’s a beautiful flush to his cheeks now, different from the one he has from the heat. It warms creeps down his neck, causing his hand to quiver. “I don’t know.” They’ve turned him into a lovesick fool. Lily could kiss him right now, and she never wants to kiss anyone.
Lily drags her eyes to James, he’s already looking at her. This is gonna be a much longer game than either of them planned on being a part of. Lily has always loved the chase. The longer it takes the better the end. It’s not fun if it ends right away.
“We’ll help you figure it out,” James murmurs, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”
They take turns with him. They don’t make a plan to, they don’t ever talk about it. Whenever Lily catches James with him she waits until he goes to the bar for a drink then slams him against the wall and threatens him to stay away from what’s hers. All James does is smirk, and lean in as close as he can without touching her lips. “That’s up for him to decide,” he whispers. “Isn’t that what you said?”
Whenever Lily has a chance with Regulus it doesn’t last long before James buys them both a drink and sits down. He’s started to sit on Regulus' side of the table, to touch his hand to his and play with his fingers. Lily gets lost in the scene sometimes, so much so that she can’t even speak. It’s been so long and neither of them is winning, if anything it’s Regulus. He gets all the attention he could ever ask for and has to pay nothing for it. If it were anyone else Lily would’ve given up by now. Gone off to another to get what she really wants. But she refuses to let James win and getting Regulus into her arms is a prize worth much more than what another man could give her.
It’s almost two weeks later when she’s sitting up with the two of them, empty drinks in front of them. Regulus offers to buy the next round shyly walking away from the table. As soon as he’s out of view James turns to Lily and says. “Did you want to dance?”
Lily looks over at the floor, there aren’t many people out there despite the hour. “Dancing is a dangerous game, you know.”
James hums, “Oh yes, I know.” He puts out his hand, “But you like it don’t you?”
Lily grabs it, “Gives me a thrill.”
Silently they move to the floor, allowing the music to flow around them. They move slowly, shuffling together as if they’re the only ones in the joint. Lily still finds herself hating him, even with all the time they’re spending together recently. They’ve both centered their attention on Regulus, it’s always about him. Getting under his skin to steal everything he has. That’s always been the plan. She’s never spent this long on a job before, they spend every single day together. Sweet talking him until he breaks, they work together as a team for most of it. Tripping each other up and tying ropes around their throats. The more this goes on the harder it is to complete, but Lily has always been resilient. She could kill Regulus and James in one breath and not feel a thing.
“Are you still gonna go through with it?”
Lily finds James staring directly into her, as if he’s trying to spot her soul behind her eyes. He won’t find anything. She knows that much. “Go through with what?”
“You know,” James says, his voice muffled through the music.
“I do not.”
James tightens his grip on her waist, “Are you really gonna kill him?”
She takes a breath, forcing herself to shrug. There’s something about hearing it out loud that sets an awful feeling in her stomach. “What makes you say I will?”
“I know your routine, Evans,” James says. “You’re going to kill him.”
“So it seems like you already know my answer,” She says.
James hesitates, his eyes flickering to the man, he’s just now sitting back at the table. Setting all their drinks down at their spots. He’s memorized both their orders by the second day.
“Are you going to stop me?” Lily finds herself asking him.
James looks back at her, “I don’t think I need to.”
James doesn’t know her at all.
“I won’t hesitate when the time comes,” she tells him carelessly.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Evans,” James leans closer to her, she can feel his breath against her cheek. She finds herself unable to pull away, if anything she moves closer. “He’s not like the others.”
“I know what you’re doing,” Lily says, letting her eyes fall to his lips. “It’s not gonna work, Honey.”
“What am I doing?” James asks her, moving even closer. With one tilt of the head, they could be touching. Lily almost wants to do it, just to see what it would be like. How it would feel. She doesn’t know what that says about her, she doesn’t want to think about it.
“I can play the game just as well as you,” Lily tells him. “You’re not going to be able to leave him with nothing. You’ll take him with you.”
“To get away from you,” James says, his lips tipping in a smile. “I would.”
Lily feels his hands all over her, she feels his heartbeat out of his chest. It’s true what she told him. Dancing certainly is a very dangerous game, even if one plays it right.
“You hardly know him,” Lily says. “You’d ditch him if the price was right.”
“Better me than you.”
James pulls away then, winking at her before leaving her alone on the floor. He takes a seat next to Regulus, brushing his curls out of his face. There’s a sudden anger bubbling in her stomach, climbing up her chest. She’s going to win. She’s certainly not going to let James take this from her. He’s not worthy of winning over Regulus, that’s her prize.
The next day she finds herself dancing with Regulus, trailing her fingers over his chest. James watches the two of them from the sidelines. Lily feels his eyes on them the entire time, peacefully flitting between each of them. So she runs her hands through Regulus’ hair, and whispers hushed words in his ear. The least she can do is put on a good show. The next it’s James’ turn to do the same thing. Lily has to dig her heels into the ground to keep herself from going over there. She doesn’t even know who she’d take over for, that’s the worst part of it. She can’t control herself when she’s around them. This game needs to end now, before she loses her mind.
Lucky for her she doesn’t need to wait much longer.
The moon is full when she finds herself alone with Regulus. She’s not sure where James has gotten up to, she honestly couldn’t care any less. The stars are bright and she’s got her hands over Regulus’ heart, whispering things in his ear she’s never before. She can feel the quickness of his pulse, the twitching of his fingers. She’s got him on the ropes now. The cat-and-mouse game is quickening to the end, and there’s no one here to stop her. She’s got her pistol in her back pocket, the scene is perfectly set.
“Do you wanna show me to your room?” She asks him, leaning into his ear. “I’d love to see it.”
Regulus shudders, this is where he makes a choice. Whether he wants to go with Lily or James. There’s only one answer really, and now he has to pick. Lily watches him as he does, the choices pulling away from his lips. She kisses the skin behind his ear, trailing her lips down to his throat.
“Alright,” he ends up saying, she had no doubts that he wouldn’t. “I’ll show you.”
She smiles softly, taking his hand into hers, it’s soft so unlike everyone else she’s touched. She wants his hands all over her, she wants to enjoy her time before she can’t any longer. His room isn’t far, only a few paces to the hotel right next door. His door is around the back, he’s shaking so much he can barely open the door. Lily almost feels bad for him, poor thing. So she helps him out, turning the handle and shoving him inside. Hanging to his lips like the gardens of Babylon. She holds him dearer than she’s ever held anyone before. Caressing his face as she backs them over to the bed. Now like his her heart is pounding in her chest, and when she pulls back from his lips she’s breathless. She doesn’t understand it. She’s never known love. She’s not even sure how it comes to be, and yet now.
She wants to lay her boots at the side of his bed and keep them there for safekeeping. She wants to watch the sunshine on Regulus' bare chest as they lie in bed together, the sheets haphazardly placed around them. She wants to sit up at home just waiting for him to show up. She wants him everywhere and anywhere, and she wants James there to watch. She wants him to see that she’s won.
“Regulus,” she whispers, “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone.”
It’s a line she uses on everyone, a desperate attempt to dig her nails into their skin one last time. Force them to want her the same, they can’t breathe without her, they’d give her the world if they only pay for it. Now she’d give it to Regulus for free. She’s going to be the one paying for it, if only she knew.
He holds his hands to her waist, “Are you just telling me what I want to hear?”
She takes a steady breath, “I wish I was.”
He kisses her then, suddenly gaining a confidence she’s never seen in the man. She doesn’t know where it came from, but she devours it like any other. The air smells like smoke from the inn beneath their feet, and the dirt comes in heaps from outside. The sun glows through the window, painting the floor with its shine. Lily doesn’t care about any of it. Not when she has Regulus exactly where she wants him to be.
The back of her legs just barely hit the edge of the bed before the door is thrown open. She almost wants to keep going and ignore the intruder but Regulus pulls away.
“Starting without me?” James calls out in question. “That doesn’t seem fair.”
Regulus stares wide-eyed, his hands still frozen on Lily’s waist, “James?”
“She’s trying to kill you, you know,” James says casually, wandering around the room his fingers brushing against the dust on the tables. “That’s her trick.”
“James,” Lily warns, digging her now-shaking hands onto Regulus’ arms. Though he doesn’t pull away, he stands still. “Don’t.”
“I’m just telling him the truth,” James says.
“You’re trying to steal all his money and skip town before anyone can notice,” She says. “Did you want him to find that out?”
“I figured he already knew,” James shrugs. “Didn’t you, baby?”
Tentatively Regulus nods, “I did.”
Lily pushes him away, finally gaining the ability to move her muscles. She steps away from both of them, “Why do I sense there’s something you’re not telling me?”
James tilts his head, “You would’ve figured it out too if you weren’t too busy drooling over me.”
She scoffs, “I did nothing of the sort, you saw what you wanted to.”
James laughs shortly, “Whatever you wanna tell yourself.”
She looks between the two men, her fingers twitching for some kind of release from the tension building between them. “What is it?”
James looks to Regulus, “Do you want to tell her, or should I do it for you?”
Regulus smiles coldly, Lily has never seen him like that. She wasn’t even sure the man was possible of it. His hands are no longer shaking, like all the nerves drained from him the second he let up his act. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
James hums unimpressed, “I’m sure you do.”
“James,” Lily snaps, “Just tell me what you know.”
“He’s playing us,” James says, laughing as the words leave his mouth. “He has been the whole time.”
Lily whips her head around to Regulus, he doesn’t look the least bit guilty. “What?”
“You’re acting like you don’t have a gun on you right now,” He argues.
“What was your plan then?” Lily questions.
“Well I knew what you were the moment I saw you,” Regulus says. “Both of you. I knew you were only interested in me to steal the money I do not have, so I thought I could get money my own way.” He pauses, “And it seems to have worked.”
Lily blinks, “What makes you say that.”
“You haven’t shot me yet,” Regulus deadpans.
She looks between the two men, she’s perfectly cornered. “What now then?”
James smirks, “I have a few ideas.”
Lily doesn’t even reach for her gun when he takes a step closer to them. She knows she should find a way to protect herself. Shoot both of them in the lungs, watch them choke on their own blood then leave like none of this ever happened. Even if Regulus doesn’t have money she knows James has enough for the pair of them.
Regulus looks him up and down under hooded lashes, “What are they then?”
“We have enough money split between Lily and me,” he looks over at her with a tilted head. “We could skip town and never come back.”
Lily crosses her arms, “And if I refuse?”
“Regulus will come with me,” James murmurs, gently brushing his hand over his cheek. “Won’t you?”
Regulus swallows thickly, suddenly melting underneath James’ gaze. Not all of it seems to be an act. “Yes, I would.” He seems to be genuine, with no tricks hidden up his sleeve. Lily knows better than to trust an old crook like her.
Before Lily can even speak James says, “You’re the one with the gun, Lily. You could kill us right now, you have the power.”
That’s right, she does have the power. She has all of it. She could very easily end them if they decide to do something against her. She could watch the blood drain from them. But she doesn’t. She can’t even reach behind her and grab the weapon. She’s completely stuck. Both of the men are looking at her like she’s a meal to devour. There’s more than that, they’re looking at her like they want her. They don’t want to ever keep their hands off her. She doesn’t understand it. She doesn’t know how she could go from hating them to this so quickly. She’s not even sure what this is. With a breath she takes the gun out of its holster, pointing it directly at James’ chest.
He smirks, not the least bit afraid, “You’re actually going to kill me?”
Lily swallows thickly, “It was always the plan.”
“Well,” James pushes Regulus behind him, outstretching his arms. “Go ahead.”
“You don’t think I’ll do it,” Lily steps forward, adjusting her hand.
“You won’t do it,” James says. “You won’t pull the trigger.”
Lily lifts her head, her eyes flickering over to Regulus he’s not afraid either. He already knows the outcome.
“You can’t pull it because you love us,” James murmurs. “It takes a very cold woman to do it. And Evans you could kill anyone I know that, but you’re not that cold. You can’t do it. Isn’t that true?”
With gritted teeth, she stands, her finger on the trigger. She should just pull it. Get this whole thing over with. “Where would we go?”
James smiles as if he’s won something, “Anywhere you want to go.”
Regulus is the first one to reach out his hand for her, tugging her closer to them. She drops the gun, flinging it to the side of the room. She’s not sure why she follows, what string is tugging her towards them. It’s wrapped so tightly around her heart she’s afraid of it breaking. It’ll surely twist until it snaps her right in two. She’s never known love before, but now she’s afraid she’s never going to love again. With a look of uncertainty, James takes her face in his hands, she doesn’t push him away like she should. She lets him kiss her like they’re the only ones at the end of the world. She pushes closer to her as if some magnetic force is attached to them. It’s when she feels Regulus' lips tentatively kissing her neck that she realizes what heaven feels like.
This wasn’t her plan, this really wasn’t her plan but it seems like she’s made her jack. She’s got her prize clutched within the palm of her hand, and she has no fear of it escaping her. She’s got the money, and she’s got the beauty, she’s got everything she’ll ever need. A place to run to, two someones to run with. What more could she ever ask for really?
It’s at the next sunrise that they take off. They make one stop first at her now old house. Dust clings to every single surface, she never stays here long. Only to sleep before she’s off again. Today she leaves the boys by the horses and runs inside her bedroom. Kicking through all her clothes in the closet until she finds it. The hat belonged to a dead man, the one prize she didn’t win for herself. Blowing off the dirt from the brim she places it on her head, it fits much better now than it did then. She looks at her reflection in the mirror just to the right of her. She looks more her than she’s ever felt, especially with the marks running down underneath her shirt.
When she walks outside the sun is quick to find her, turning her skin a color of crimson. “Alright boys!” She calls out, slamming the door behind her. “You ready to go?”