Here for you
“Lily, are you sure you don’t want to put Harry down?” There’s a bedroom with a crib in it or me or Moony could hold him for you? You’ve been holding him for the past 2 hours, you have got to be tired.” Sirius asked as the three were sipping hot chocolate in the living room.
“No, I’m fine. I’m okay.” Lily said as she sipped her hot chocolate. The three continued to talk for a while. Most of the talking was done by Remus and Sirius
While Lily occasionally nodded her head and hummed in agreement. They talked about all sorts of things, the obvious grief that filled the room, James, how they were going to move on, more cheerful things (Like ABBA). They talked for around 2 hours before Remus yawned,
“We should get some sleep. I for one am incredibly tired.” Sirius nodded in agreement. He then turned to Lily,
“I’ll go show you where your bedroom is. Shall we?” He held out his hand to help Lily up. The two started walking up the stairs while Remus put their mugs in the sink.
“Alright so this is our room, and you are right across the hall.” He pointed at two doors across from each other.
“And Lily?” He said his tone was even softer than it already was.
“Yes?”
“Don’t be afraid to come get us if you need us alright. We are here for you.”
He finished before kissing Harry softly on the head and bidding her a good night.
Remus woke up to a faint crying noise. He turned over to see if Sirius was alright; he was worried for him. James was so close to him they were essentially brothers, and just two years after Regulus. He wasn’t sure how he would handle it. His concerns were put to rest when he saw him fast asleep. Remus then checked the time. “5:45. Maybe Harry’s up.” He thought aloud and got out of bed and went across the hall.
Remus knocked on the door and after knocking a second time and calling for Lily he let himself in to make sure that Harry was okay. Remus was confused when he walked in to see Harry fast asleep. He then looked to Lily’s bed which was untouched. When he had entered the room he heard the sobbing get quite loud. He walked away from the door and towards Harry’s crib to find on the side of the crib sandwiched between it and the wall was Lily. She was sobbing, with her head buried in her knees.
“Lily? Are you alright?” Remus said as he sat down in front of his friend. There was no response so either Lily was ignoring him or she didn’t hear him the first time. Remus presumed it was most likely the latter and grabbed Lily’s hands gently before repeating his question. This time, Lily looked up at him. Her eyes were puffy, red and slightly swollen.
“It's okay.” Remus said quietly before entrapping her in a hug, “Let it out, you’re safe with me.” Lily tried to take a deep breath resulting in a shaky choked sob. “Its okay.” Remus repeated, “You can cry, it’s okay.” They stayed there for another half an hour until Remus felt Lily's breathing return to normal. “How are you feeling now?” Remus asked.
“I’m sad.” Lily started, her voice small.
“Anything else?”
“I’m lonely, tired, scared. And I’m angry.”
What are you angry about?” Remus asked, wondering what Lily meant by that.
“It’s all my fault Remus.”
“What is Lily?”
“James.”
“What do you mean?” Remus said, confused.
“He told me to get Harry.” Lily started, “He told me that I should get Harry and prepare to run. I didn’t want to but I didn’t fight him on it either. If I just would have stayed down there-”
“Then you both would be dead and most likely Harry as well.” Remus said maybe too harshly. He understood that Lily felt like she could have prevented James’ death but he wanted her to understand that she did absolutely nothing wrong and that she could not have stopped what happened.
“I know you don’t want to hear that, but that's what would have happened. Or James would have gone up, you would have been dead and James would be in your exact same position.” Remus explained.
“I know.” Lily replied, “And I know deep down that it's not my fault but it feels like it is. It’s like his death was incredibly preventable but it still happened.”
“Lily, I want to make something incredibly clear.” Remus stated as he looked her in the eye. “The only person in the scenario that could have prevented this is Voldemort because ultimately he killed him. Did he not?”
Lily nodded. Remus continued, “So none of this is your fault alright. You’ve done everything just right, you did everything in your power to keep your family safe.”
The room was silent for a while as what Remus said began to sink in. The silence was broken when Lily added, “I’m scared Remus. I don’t know what to do now. I feel stuck.”
“Ask others for help.” Remus started, “Let people in. You're not alone, okay. There are so many people that are here for you, you just have to let us in.”
Lily sat up against a wall and stared at the floor, unable to process everything that happened that night. Remus realised that the conversation was coming to an end and then suggested that Lily go to bed and that he would take care of Harry so that she would be able to sleep. Lily reluctantly agreed after Remus insisted many time that taking care of Harry would not be a nuisance and that he was totally fine with it.
Remus then took Harry in his arms and walked back to his room. He was surprised to see Sirius awake.
“Why are you up?”
Sirius smiled and jokingly pretended to be upset, “Why are you up at this hour?”
Remus rolled his eyes, “Well, not that you would be aware of this information seeing that you are some form of a nocturnal creature, but the morning is when people are awake my dear Sirius.” Remus sat down on the bed, “I also decided that I should kidnap one Harry James Potter and hide him in our bedroom.”
Remus sat back and handed Sirius to Harry after seeing him light up once he noticed his godson. Once Harry was situated in Sirius’ arms Sirius leaned over putting his head on Remus’ shoulder, “We’re going to be okay aren’t we?”
“Yes my love,” He kissed the top of Sirius’ head and fixed his eyes on the sleeping Harry. “It may take a while and it may not be pretty but we’ll be okay. At some point everything is going to be alright.There is hope yet.”