Chapter one
“Would you love me more
(Would you love me more)
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hand?
(Would you hold my hand?)
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you”
The blood tainted the sink a crimson red as Albus washed his hands. The boy on the floor was the least of his problems, now that he was finally dead there was nothing to worry about. Now, hopefully Scorpius will go to the Valentine's dance with him instead of that stupid Gryffindor boy. It’s funny, he thought, people knew how protective and obsessed he was over Scorpius and they still tried to take the boy away from him. It’s stupid and funny at the same time. To think that they’re idiots out there who think that they can take the love of his life away from him just makes him laugh.
After the blood was finally gone Albus made sure to clean everything up and made sure to leave the bloody body hanging from a rope in front of the Gryffindor portrait so when the fat lady woke up she would see it. Albus would love to see everyone’s faces when they see their Gryffindor prefect dead. A satisfied sigh left his lips as he put his hands inside his pants pockets and walked back to the Slytherin boys dorms.
The Common room was silent and lonely now that it was past curfew and everyone was asleep, everyone except for him and his sun. Scorpius looked up from the book that he was reading while sitting in the common room coach when he heard footsteps approaching him and a smile appeared on his face when he saw who it was. He got up and walked up to Albus, he looked at him for a second before hugging him. Albus hid his face between Scorpius’ shoulder blades and took a deep breath, taking in the sweet smell of candy and strawberry.
Scorpius took a step back, his hand on Albus cheek. “Where have you been? Merlin Albus, I was really worried about you.” The worry was clear in his tone of voice which only made Albus feel guilty. How dare he make Scorpius feel in that way?
“I’m sorry, Mon Soleil. Let’s go to bed now, yeah?” Tomorrow would be a very long day so it wouldn’t do any good for Scorpius to stay up too late.
Sometimes Albus would get this feeling in his gut that he was sure he’d never felt before. That stupid feeling after killing or hurting someone and then seeing Scorpius worry face. He regretted doing such things, though the feeling didn’t last for too long. But again, he just couldn’t control it, even if he wanted to he couldn’t. It was just how he was, killing made him feel like himself, like Albus. He knew Scorpius would find out at any moment but he hoped that the boy would find out later instead of sooner. He didn’t want to lose Scorpius, he was his everything.
For as long as Albus can remember all that he had ever felt had been emptiness, a shallow feeling inside of his chest, a hole that no one seemed to be able to fill. His family wouldn’t even fill a little bit of it, they were too much of assholes to actually care and fill it. But then, Scorpius came and like a wave came rushing towards him and drowned him. The only difference between the wave and Scorpius is that if it was a wave he would be dying to swim back up but with Scorpius he just wants to drown. He wants to choke on his waters. He wants to feel the pain, the despair, and love that Scorpius brings with him.
Yes, he is crazy and he knows it but what can he do? Scream to the heaven and people that he loves to kill and to torture people? If he ever let his thoughts fly out in such a free way he would be punished, if not killed, in a matter of seconds.
He is different from everyone else in his family and more often than not the difference between you and your family in the magic world is like your grave. You either go along with them or you accept the fact that no one will ever like you and that you are as useless as you could ever be.
Indeed, it could hurt but to Albus the hate was a routine that he followed since he was born into the Potter-Weasley family. Get up from bed, get bullied by your older brother and laughed at by your little sister, let your father try to make conversation even if it’s awkward, and get ignored by your mother. That’s just how things always were back when he was a child but now they don’t seem to like to mess with him as much as they did before. Albus sometimes wondered if they knew about what was going on in his head but he would quickly erase such thoughts from his head, if they were to know then they would have done something about it already. Nothing would make sense if they knew all along. His plan wouldn’t work at all.
Once both boys were inside their shared dorm they changed into their pajamas and both lay down on Albus’ bed in silence. Albus kept his mouth shut because he feared that if he opened his mouth something would slip out and give him away. He couldn’t risk it. He ran his fingers through Scorpius blonde and soft hair while thinking. It was relaxing for both of them. Soon enough Scorpius was deep in sleep while Albus tried to go to sleep as well.
Mayne, he shouldn’t have killed him. Maybe a little punishment and warning would have been enough but, killing him? What was he thinking? If Scorpius was to find out about it he would hate him. The boy didn’t deserve death, or maybe he did, who is there to know? Oh, he hates it when these types of thoughts come to his mind after having fun.
He sighed and closed his eyes, his hand now resting on Scorpius’ soft cheek. How stupid of him to think that Scorpius would ever find out, and even if he had the smallest gut feeling he would deny it to himself. Scorpius would never want to lose his one and only friend, Albus knew this. And Albus wouldn’t want to lose Scorpius either. Albus’ hand slowly moved down to Scorpius’ hip and pulled him closer to him.
He slowly drifted away to sleep while thoughts of losing Scorpius invaded his broken mind.
The next morning Albus found himself once again standing in front of the Gryffindor house portrait, The fat Lady had an horrified look on her face and all of the students were gathered around trying to see what was going on. Mayne’s body now lay on the floor covered up while Mcgonagall and the other teachers were trying to make the students move out of the way so they could take the body somewhere else.
A faint smile appeared on Albus face, oh this sure was fun. He wanted to laugh out loud and he sure was determined to do so until someone grabbed his hand. Scorpius. He had forgotten that Scorpius was standing next to him, fuck, if he had laughed Scorpius would definitely know that he had something to do with it. He put his arm around Scorpius' shoulders and pulled him close. He wasn’t sure how Scorpius was feeling right now but he had an idea and he sure didn’t like it. He whispered to Scorpius that they should go back to their dorm and Scorpius just nodded.
“I’m going to take a shower.” Scorpius said with a small voice which made Albus frown. What the fuck, Scorpius barely even knew the boy, why was he so sad? He cuffed and let his body fall back against the bed.
They didn’t have class today because of Mayne and Scorpius probably won’t want to go outside. This surely was the best day of his life. He extended his arm and opened the top drawer of Scorpius’ night table and took out a box of cigarettes and a lighter. He took out one and lit it up and brought it up to his lips. He took a long drag before letting the smoke out through his mouth and noise, peace finally getting to his mind. Scorpius’ sobs weren’t loud but Albus could still hear them, Scorpius was never the one to know how to cry in silence. He can admit that the feeling on his guts was a feeling of guilt but Mayne was dead already and he couldn’t possibly bring him back to life. Poor Scorpius. It was all ok though, he will make Scorpius forget about the boy in just days, maybe hours.
“We should go out, some fresh air would do you good.” He said while watching Scorpius change. The blonde boy just looked at him for a second before turning back and putting his pants on. “Scorpius?” Albus whispered. Scorpius just nodded in silence. Albus took a deep breath and got out of the bed. He stood behind Scorpius and wrapped his arms around Scorpius' waist.
“Albus, please. I just…give a minute, ok?” Albus hummed and kissed Scorpius cheek before letting go.
Stupid and useless Mayne. Now Albus doesn’t feel guilt or regret anymore, just… hate. He should’ve thought things more slowly and considered Scorpius more but, as far as he knew, Mayne and Scorpius barely even talked…unless. He clenched his jaw and his hands became fists.
Scorpius wouldn’t but if he didn’t then why else would he be so hurt?
He stood behind Scorpius again, this time without touching him. Even if Albus thought about it, imagine it, he couldn’t and wouldn’t do so he just stood there in silence. His whole body tense and his eyes darkened as analyzed Scorpius' face. The blonde boy didn’t say anything, he just changed into muggle clothes and turned. Albus raised his hand to touch Scorpius cheek but brought it back down before getting close to touch it. He turned around and walked out of the room.
He slammed the door behind him and he swore he heard Scorpius let something fall, he probably scared him, and gasped. Albus walked fast towards the black lake. His blood was burning, he could feel the anger in just the tip of his fingers, ready to punch whoever gets in his way. He felt like crying because of his frustration but he held himself back. This was stupid, he should’ve thought everything through but, how was he supposed to know that Scorpius was gonna feel really bad about it?
To him Mayne had just been another person that his Scorpius knew.
Outside it was cold and it was even colder by the black lake. He sat a bit far from it to avoid getting splashed by the giant squid. His hands were flexing between spread fingers and fists. Albus took deep breaths and settled himself down, Mayne wasn’t worth his anger but how could he never notice something weird before? His Scorpius he should’ve known. How can he say he knew his Scorpius when he was so oblivious to something like that. Or maybe Scorpius was really good at hiding it and didn’t want him to know, yes, that must have been it. He would’ve had noticed before if Scorpius hadn’t wanted to keep a secret.
“Well, look at what we have here,” Albus turns his face to where the person is. Karl Jenkins and the rest of his gang, all of them were wearing stupid smirks on his face. Albus huffed and turned back to the black lake. “Where is your boyfriend at Potter? Has he finally decided to leave you?” The others snickered behind him which caused Albus to close his eyes and breath.
If it was up to him that whole group would’ve been long gone but because of Scorpius and other obvious reasons he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk his plans, and the group of idiots didn’t deserve a single minute of his time. Which led him to getting up and trying to walk away without saying a single word. That, apparently, greatly displeased the group. A jinx hit his back that caused him to groan and fall on his knees while casting an ant-spell without a word and his wand. He cursed to himself when he felt someone harshly grab his hair and pull it.
He side-eyed the person, Alexander Nuñez. “Where do you think you’re going, eh Squib?” He asked in a mocking tone that made Albus want to bash his head in the ground. Nuñez was a Hispanic Slytherin that was a year older than him and always seemed to be hanging out with Jenkins and his gang. A harsh tug on his hair made him groan loudly and his head forcefully pulled back causing his neck to crack.
Albus tried, he really did but he can barely remember what happened after that. He remembers the feeling of anger coming back when Nuñez insulted Scorpius. After that he can only remember the feeling of his fist connecting with the guy's face and the feeling of blood dripping down his knuckles. When Albus found himself waiting outside the Headmistress office he couldn’t help but curse to himself.
He just gave Scorpius a reason to worry, and possibly get angry, about him.