Chapter 2
Regulus has always found comfort in seeing the stars and the night sky, so when he found out that the astronomy tower had a gorgeous view of both he wasted no time in claiming it as a little space where he could relax and truly be himself with no one to judge him.
Sure he loved and trusted Evan and Barty, not that he would ever tell them, but there were parts of him that he kept hidden from them.
Whenever he felt stressed or anxious he knew where to go to calm his nerves.
He needed this more than ever after the incident with James. Since then he had known no peace. He wasn't talking about teasing or mocking words, no, inside he felt like a tiny boat in the middle of a raging storm. This was so unlike him. Why was this affecting him so much? Nonetheless, he trekked the countless steps up to the astronomy tower. The closer he got the more peace he felt. Once fully at the top he calmly walked to one of the windows sitting with his back resting against the cool bricks. A gentle breeze passed as though attempting to quell the storm; reveling in the gentle caress he began to hum the tune to his favorite song. After a short while he started singing the lyrics " I'm scaaaaared, I have never fallen from quite this high, fallen into your ocean eyes, those ocean eyes". He felt so calm in this instant even for a moment he let it engulf him. His eyes fluttered open slowly turning his head he stared at the stars. Marveling at how beautiful and perfect they were. Never understanding how people took them for granted. Then again people took so much for granted.
He looked for his star in the Leo constellation knowing that tonight he should get a beautiful and clear view of it. He always adored his name after discovering it meant lion heart his adoration for it only grew. However, he also held a small amount of bitterness for it. He resented that his father had chosen it for him and always would, but he had learned to accept it and embrace it.
Regulus had learned how to let himself love and be loved although not fully open to it all yet. He knew he was deserving of love, and he had plenty of it brotherly love from Sirius along with maternal and paternal love from Effie and Monty even though they weren't blood related. He recalled the night Siri and he had escaped that wretched house. That specific night had been dark and stormy adding to the eerie and sinister feelings the looming manor evoked. Dinner had ended on a bad note after Siri had made Orion upset and "ruined his appetite." They had retreated to their respective rooms and Regulus had decided to do some light reading before bed when he heard a thundering crash and their mother's screams. He jumped from his bed and bolted down the stairs in fear that Orion was hurting their mother, but once he arrived he was met with a shocking scene. Their mother was screaming and breathing heavily while keeping Siri behind her.
Turning his gaze he noticed Orion clutching his head and groaning as blood soaked his fingers, clothing, and face. He immediately descended the final steps in the stairs and asked their maman if she was alright. "I'm alright my little star but you must make haste and leave." She quickly grasped his hand and dragged her and Siri to the floor kissing them and uttering "I love you both dearly do not ever forget that, and you shall be safe with a dear friend of mine, Euphemia, I will see you again one day my stars, my treasures."
With those last words she pushed them into the floo having said their destination. As he stared at his mother's face for the last time he noticed her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. He didn't remember much else from that night except his and his brother's desperate attempts to go back to the manor only to realize she had removed access to Grimmauld manor. He recalled Effie's warm embrace, his brother's cries, and warm salty tears streaming down his face as he sobbed.
It had been two years since that incident and the guilt he felt for not bringing his mother with them ate at him every day. Although he knew she would have stubbornly refused he still felt guilt for not asking her at the very least. He didn't know if she was still alive not having heard from her or about her since that day. Feeling tears welling up in his eyes he shakily exhaled and clutched the pendant that he received from her on his fourteenth birthday. That vile thing of a man that he had the displeasure of being born from had always had a firm grasp on his mother's actions. This however never made her falter in her very outward adoration and love for them.
Deciding to remember happier memories he delved into his sea of memories and fondly smiled at a particular memory. Regulus was twelve and Sirius was thirteenth their maman had gone into their rooms and declared they were going out and having a picnic. After the initial shock at her words, they had hastily readied themselves and dressed in light comfortable clothes that fit the Summer weather. Their mother had grabbed a picnic basket that was filled with all types of delicious goodies and they departed from their home by the floo.
They had reached the desired destination in a matter of seconds, and he at once headed for the strong and looming willow that stood at the center of the garden in their summer villa. Before reaching the willow though; Siri pushed him to the ground and stuck his tongue out before rapidly fleeing. Chasing after him he tripped once more before finally catching up to him and tackling him to the ground. Throughout the whole ordeal, he had heard his mother's laughter being carried by the wind. It had always been such a melodic and beautiful sound.
The sun warmed him to the tip of his fingers as he ran around the garden at the back of the manor. He had jumped into a lake that was made the year before to cool down. The sensation of clothing getting heavier and sticking to his skin still rested so vividly in his mind. Sirius had jumped in with him splashing water on his face and mouth. Regulus of course retaliated, and they started splashing each other fiercely so fiercely in fact that even their mother has gotten soaked from where she rested on the picnic blanket. He remembered the playful scolding they received before she joined in.
After drying themselves with a charm they sat on the picnic blanket and ate. Their mother had made the food and it had been so delicious. After eating the food they had enjoyed a cold treat before returning to the dreadful manor, but they were so happy that day that it didn't seem quite as dreadful as it usually did. Regulus had plenty more memories of their mother's kindness and love for them; she always protected them in silence and took beatings for them, but she had never screamed at the vile man while defending them.
He had found out why she had been so physical and verbal that day when he asked Sirius. He had said in a meek voice " Orion planned to kill me after he cornered me and I was forced to come out; maman came down and stood in front of me taking the hits." "Orion didn't like this he shoved her and tried to hit me with an unforgivable again, but Maman threw a vase at his head and started screaming then you came down."
They both cried their hearts out that night and slept together like they used to when they were children.
Regulus only hoped that she was alive and safe. If she was still stuck at Grimmauld manor it was unlikely she was safe or alive, but he still held a shred of hope. Letting himself come out of his little bubble he was greeted with the sound of a cricket's chirp, the soft rustle of the leaves from nearby trees, the moonlight shining upon a patch of grass, and a beautiful crescent-shaped moon high above the ground and in between stars.
Regulus stayed there for hours to come while the moon disappeared and the sun took its place. While chatter got louder and louder as classes started and then ended. His brother had come to find him but took a look at his state and stayed quiet both of them sitting in silence. He knew he had gotten detention but couldn't find it in himself to care. When night fell once more he asked with a hoarse voice from lack of speaking if Sirius wanted to come with him to the dorms. Sirius merely shook his head. He nodded and dragged his sore, weak, and tired self down the stairs and into the dorms feeling numb to everything around him. Regulus showered and changed clothes then dropped himself into his neatly kept bed resting his head on his pillow. Within a few minutes, sleep came and he let the darkness envelop him.