Chapter 10
Hermione fell to her knees on the other side of the portal. Her chest felt tight as she looked around the quiet forest. Severus was gone. She was back.
Back home.
In the proper timeline.
Alone.
She took a shaky breath that quickly morphed into a desperate sob. She fell forward, her hands landing on the soft earth. She tried to slow her breathing, calm her mind, slow her heart, but nothing worked. The agony was overwhelming, the pain was more immense than she could’ve imagined. She had lost him. She would never see him again.
She loved him and he was gone forever.
“Hermione?” a familiar voice said.
Hermione looked up through tear-stained eyes to see Hagrid a small ways away with Fang by his side.
“Hello,” she whispered.
“Blimey!” Hagrid rushed over to her and helped her to stand in the blood-red moonlight. “Where have ya been? Everyone’s been worried sick!”
“It’s a long, strange story.”
“Well let’s get you to McGonagall, she’ll know what to do. We’ll go the back way, don’t need folks up and about at this hour seeing you and making a fuss, you look like you’ve been through it.”
Hermione nodded numbly and let Hagrid guide her back to the castle. A few minutes and several staircases later and they emerged into McGonagall’s Headmistress office.
“Hermione!” Minerva got to her feet and rushed over to Hermione and Hagrid.
“Found her collapsed in the forest. Weird looking wind rustling around her.”
“My dear, sit down, sit down.”
Minerva steered Hermione to an empty chair and sat at her desk across from her.
“Should…er…I stay?”
“Yes,” Hermione said before Minerva could reply.
Minerva gave Hermione a tilted look. “Perhaps you could send an owl to Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley, let them know Hermione’s back.”
“Right,” Hermione nodded. “Right.”
“I’m here if you need me, Hermione.” Hagrid patted her shoulder before he left.
“Does anyone else know I’ve been missing?”
“No. We told the students you were out sick, we didn’t want to cause any fuss until we had a better idea of what had happened. Had you been missing another day or so we would’ve had no choice but to alert them, and put a notice out in The Prophet. Thank Merlin we avoided that.”
Hermione stared at her. Silently. Dazed. Numb. Lost.
“What happened, Hermione? Are you…able to say?”
“I found a strange Time Turner in a hollowed out book in the restricted section. I touched it and it led me to an alternate timeline where I died and Professor Snape survived,” Hermione said hurriedly.
Minerva’s eyes widened to the size of saucers as she took in Hermione’s words.
“Sweet Circe,” she murmured. “How extraordinary. But how did you return?”
“Severus helped me create a portal to come back.”
She saw Minerva’s eyebrow raise at Hermione using Snape’s first name.
“I see. Did you notice anything else different while you were there?”
Hermione shook her head. “Severus thought it best I stay hidden so as not to alter the timelines too much.”
“Hmmm. Well…this is quite an unprecedented situation. You of course can take as much time as you need to rest, if you wish to—”
“I want to get back to work,” Hermione said quickly. She got to her feet. “Everyone can think I caught the black cat flu and went to the burrow or Grimmauld Place. Harry and the Weasleys can know what’s happened. No one else. Please.”
“Yes, of course. But really, Hermione, if you need to rest—”
“I’m fine. Thank you, Minerva.”
Hermione turned and made her way to the door.
“Hermione?”
Hermione stopped and turned back to face Minerva. “Yes?”
“Where is the Time Turner now?”
“With Severus.”
***
Severus stumbled as he made his way back to his rooms. He tried to tell himself it was for the best. Of course he couldn’t go with her and she couldn’t stay; this was what was meant to be, she was never supposed to be here with him in the first place. Just as well, he was too old for her, too cruel, too coarse and careless. She deserved someone better than him. And yet his mind kept whispering the same thing over and over:
But you love her.
He sighed and continued home, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he walked on.
His fingers met a piece of paper he hadn’t put there. He pulled it out of his pocket and his heart nearly stopped. She must’ve slipped it there when they embraced. He came to a halt and unfolded the paper slowly, somewhat terrified of what it would say.
Severus,
I don’t know what else to say other than, you have the Time Turner. Please use it. Please
change your mind. Please .
Come find me.
Love, Hermione.
***
Weeks passed and Hermione’s life went back to normal. Harry and Ron asked her dozens of questions about her ordeal, she left out the parts about sleeping with Severus, not sure how on earth she was supposed to explain such a thing in a way that wouldn’t sound absurd. She returned to her classes and Fridays at The Leaky Cauldron with her friends and everything was as it was supposed to be.
Except for the endless ache in her heart.
She reminded herself it wasn’t meant to be. They had known how unsustainable it had been going into it and they had done it anyway. He warned her it would end in heartbreak but she did it anyway.
And she didn’t regret it.
She would rather lose him a thousand times than never get to have him at all.
Minerva often gave Hermione strange, sad looks; clearly aware that there was a big piece of Hermione’s story she wasn’t sharing. But Hermione didn’t care. It was her secret to keep.
The weeks became months and Hermione lost all hope that her wishes she left with him would ever come true.
***
The day before the last of the school year Hermione was walking down the hall, a stack of books in her arms, on her way to hole up in the astronomy tower for the night, to continue with her research on experimental portals and the fabric of timelines.
A voice halted her steps.
“Professor Granger.”
Oh Merlin. Please.
Hermione turned around slowly to see Severus standing at the end of the hall, a desperate, earnest look in his eyes. He had been searching timeline after timeline for her, looking relentlessly for the version of her that he loved with every piece of him. The version that, against all odds and logic, loved him back. When Hermione’s mouth fell open in a silent sigh of relief, and her eyes widened, tearing up with joy, he knew he’d finally found the right one. His one.
Hermione dropped her books and raced down the hall, crashing into his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck, her cheek against his chest, breathing in his familiar, welcoming, comforting scent, thanking the stars above for bringing him back to her.
Severus wrapped her up in his embrace, pressing kisses into her hair, clutching her tightly, terrified that if he let her go he would lose her again.
“You came,” Hermione whispered. She pulled back to look into his dark eyes.
Severus cupped her cheek in his hand. “I came.”
He leaned down and captured her lips in a searing, desperate, longing kiss. Hermione didn't care that they were in the middle of the castle, that to any passerby it looked like she was kissing a ghost, she just cared that he was here in her arms, in her timeline, in her heart. She moved her mouth against his, begging it to open and he obliged. The two kissed like frantic teenagers, steeling stolen kisses before racing off to class. They had spent so long fighting to keep their impossible feelings afloat and then their chances at happiness had sunk down deep below a sea made up of the threads of time. But kissing Severus finally brought Hermione's sunken heart back to the surface. She could finally breathe again.
Hermione slowly broke away from the kiss, gazing again into his dark eyes.
“You said it was too dangerous.”
Severus nodded. “I know I did. I decided to risk it.”
“Why?”
Severus gently stroked his thumb back and forth against her skin.
“Because I couldn’t go on without letting you know that you are loved, so much, by so many, and by no one more than me.”
Hermione laughed a smile, tears of sheer joy welling behind her lashes.
“Will you stay with me?” she said softly, nervously.
“Yes,” he said, his voice firm and sure. “Always.”