Chapter 13
May 17, 1998 : 125
After Hermione's conversation with Lucius, she resumed her regular schedule. She'd wake in the morning, head downstairs, sit in silence with Narcissa and Lucius by the fireplace and watch Draco. It had all become far less awkward now, and Hermione was pleasantly surprised to find that, upon her return, no one berated her with questions. Instead, they spoke to her as if everything were normal. A small part of her considered that Lucius was to thank for that. Though, even if it were, she wasn't about to go up and thank him. Hermione decided that it was the least he could do after what he had asked of her.
"You are the only one who is capable of getting through to him."
Lucius's words played on a constant loop in her head. Even when she'd rest, his voice would echo in her ears. Something she learned while being with Draco was hearing the underlying statement in a Malfoy man's words. If they say that they're fine, they're not. If they insist that they can handle something, they're seeing if you'd be willing to help them. If they tell you to leave, they're secretly praying that you'll stay.
It was as if whatever they said, they were hoping for the opposite.
Which meant, when Lucius said, "I'm afraid of what will happen to him if he abuses the stone for too long," what he was really saying was, "I need your help. I need you to save my son from himself."
Lucius wasn't the only one who needed her help. Narcissa, Tonks, and Remus needed it too. They needed to be willing to release their past life and the people who were a part of it, but none of them were ready to do so.
Narcissa needed to know that her son would be okay.
Remus needed Tonks to be ready.
And Tonks needed Teddy to be with Draco. She wanted to know that Teddy would be okay, that he would grow up surrounded by people who loved him. People who would take care of him. She wanted him to be with his family. She wanted him to be with Draco.
It all started with Draco. He was who Hermione, Narcissa, and Lucius were still staying back for. If she could help him get back up to his feet, then that would trigger a domino-like effect. Once he was better, then he would be ready to take care of Teddy, just like Tonks wanted.
So, as Hermione felt the forceful tug in her chest, she closed her eyes and prepared herself for the most important assignment of her life.
Save Draco.
As her eyes opened and the walls of the manor materialised around her, Hermione let out a deep breath and smiled at the man standing before her. Hermione's chest ached at the sight of hope consuming his eyes. She wanted to tell him that none of this was real, that she was still dead, but she knew she needed to be more tactful than that. She needed to ease him into it all.
"Granger," he exhaled with relief, tears filling his eyes.
"Draco," she smiled softly.
May 18, 1998 : 124
Last night primarily consisted of Draco apologising over and over again. He apologised for the way he treated her at Hogwarts, for how he treated her when he first joined them on the Horcrux hunt, and most of all, for what had happened to her. Hermione tried her best to tell him that all of it was okay. There was a flicker of understanding in his eyes, but that's all it was, a flicker. His Hermione-sized wound was still too fresh, and the guilt had too strong of a hold on him, but Hermione was prepared for that.
Draco was going to have bad days, some harder than others, but eventually, the good ones would start to outweigh the bad ones - at least that's what she hoped.
"Granger," Draco said as he joined her by the fireplace, "is everything okay?"
No, I'm not meant to be here.
"Everything is fine," she lied with a convincing smile.
Taking a seat beside her on the floor, Draco stared into the burning embers. Something Hermione always loved about being with Draco was that they could comfortably sit in silence together. He never felt the need to fill the time with mindless conversation, unlike Ron and Harry, who seemed to always have something to say.
With Draco, Hermione was allowed to just simply exist.
"What's the afterlife like?" Draco asked, breaking the silence after a few minutes.
Hermione turned to look at him for a moment before returning her gaze to the fire. "It was a lot like this," she replied. "We'd all gather around a fire and watch over you."
"We?"
Hermione nodded. "Your mother, father, and on occasion, Remus and Tonks would join us."
These were the moments that Hermione was dreading, the ones where she would instinctively want to reach for his hand, but she knew she couldn't. So, instead, she picked at the skin around her nail to keep her hands occupied.
"Sometimes I would talk to you," she continued.
This confession caused Draco to perk up. "You would... talk to me?"
"Yes."
"What would you say?" he asked as he shifted his body to face her.
"It depended on the day, really. Sometimes I would talk to you about your family, particularly your father. He's a... peculiar individual."
Draco let out a soft chuckle. "That's one way to put it," he replied. "Was there anything else you'd talk to me about?"
As she repositioned herself so that she was facing him as well, she took the time to admire the way he looked. The gentle orange glow from the fire softened his sharp features and brought warmth to his face. And the way he was looking at her... Gods did she love the way he looked at her. There was always so much adoration, so much passion, and tenderness. It was a look that Hermione had only ever read about in books before him - a look she had always dreamt of being on the receiving end of, but never thought she actually would be.
For a brief moment, Hermione allowed herself to believe that this was a life she'd be willing to live - a life that she'd be happy to live.
But then she heard it again, Lucius's voice, "You are the only one who is capable of getting through to him," and reality slammed into her chest with the same brutal force as the cruciatus curse.
This was not a life she'd be happy to live.
Maybe for a moment, but that's all it would be.
A moment.
"Granger?" Draco's gentle voice pulled Hermione from her thoughts.
Snapping her gaze back to him, she said, "I would tell you that you're strong enough to survive this. That one day, you'll be okay because you will, Draco. One day you will wake up and no longer feel the weight of guilt pressing down on your chest. One day you will be able to draw in a breath without feeling like your throat is closing. And one day, you'll no longer be haunted by the thought of me. You'll be free."
Draco's face twisted in pain. "No," he said as he shook his head, "I don't want to be free if it means that I lose you all over again."
"But Draco-"
"No, Granger!" he snapped as he shot up to his feet. "I can't lose you again! I can't-I won't-I-"
Hermione stood and reached for his arm but quickly retracted and held onto her own hand instead.
"Draco," Hermione exhaled. "You won't lose me again." Draco's eyes sparkled with a sense of possibility, a subtle curve gracing his lips, hinting at a smile as he took a step toward her. "Because you never actually got me back," Hermione added, causing all of the light and hope to immediately fall from his face.
"Don't say that," Draco said as he slowly took a step back.
"I'm not saying it to hurt you, Draco. I'm saying it to help you."
"Help?" he scoffed. "How is anything you just said supposed to help me?!"
"We can't stay like this forever. I can't stay like this forever," Hermione said delicately.
Then, there was a shift in his eyes that caused Hermione to freeze.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
"I'm not letting you go, Granger. I can't."
As the words fell from Draco's lips, Hermione's heart dropped to her stomach. It was as if her soul had crack into two and the worst part of it all, was it had been the most confident his voice had sounded, not a single tremble of uncertainty. He meant every word he said, and it terrified her.
"Don't-" her voice cracked, "don't say that."
"Why not? I'm just being honest," there was anger in his words now, rage lacing every syllable. "Say whatever you want but it's not going to change my mind."
"Why not, Draco? Why inflict even more pain on yourself by keeping me around in this state? I know it may seem like a good solution, and that it might feel nice, but that feeling won't last forever. One day, me just being here isn't going to be enough and it's going to break you even more."
"Then let it break me," he shrugged. "I would rather have a few more weeks with you than none at all."
Hermione was silent.
She had prepared herself for countless things; denial, guilt, anger, but not acceptance.
There were many things that Draco still refused to come to terms with, but one thing he had accepted was the fact that bringing Hermione back with the resurrection stone would result in more pain, and he was okay with it.
He was okay with hurting himself more.
He was okay with hurting her more.
"You don't mean that," she whispered.
"Yes, I do," is all he said before turning and walking away.
May 19, 1998 : 123
Hermione had convinced herself that she could do this, that she could be strong enough. But as she sat alone on the back porch and stared out at the garden, she realised just how wrong she was.
She wanted to cry.
She wanted to scream.
She wanted to leave.
Anything.
But she couldn't.
She was trapped.
Trapped in her own mind, unable to express the storm of emotions happening within her. Trapped in a life that she didn't want to be a part of. Trapped in a life she couldn't be a part of.
Trapped by the person she trusted more than anyone.
May 21, 1998 : 121
The days had grown quiet. Hermione spent most mornings by herself, unable to be in the same room as Draco for more than a few minutes before her anger would take over and cause her to snap at him.
Hermione never thought there'd be a day where all they did was fight, but that's precisely what was happening. The few times they would speak, their civil conversations would quickly escalate and turn into a full on screaming match.
This wasn't what she wanted.
This wasn't who she wanted to be.
This wasn't how she wanted them to be.
May 23, 1998 : 119
"Just tell me what you want me to do, Granger."
"You know what I want you to do!" Hermione hissed as she spun on her heels to face him.
"You know that I can't."
"No, I know that you won't," she corrected. "Won't and can't aren't synonymous. You are deciding to keep me like this! You are deciding to ignore what I want so that you can be happy!"
"I know that I'm being selfish, I understand that!" Draco shouted as he frustratingly ran his hand down the length of his face. "But we can be together this way."
"We can't even touch, Draco!" Hermione argued.
"I know but-"
"And what about your future? What about all of the plans that you made?"
"The only plans I made are the ones with you!"
"You can't just throw away your life, Draco!"
"This isn't my life! You are my life, Granger. Without you, there's nothing," taking a moment, he closed his eyes and let out a deep breath before saying, "I'm nothing."
May 26, 1998 : 116
There was this story that Hermione's father would often tell her whenever she was having a hard day. It was about a young girl who dreamt of a place where butterflies would fly around, the sun would always be shining, and people were never sad. Eventually, the girl finally discovered the dreamland. It was everything she had hoped for. Butterflies danced through the air, the sun was always burning brightly in the sky, and people were always happy, but there was something missing.
There were no stars for her to wish upon, no stillness in the air that only comes with the quiet of the night, and no depth to the human emotion that made the happy days special.
"When all we have are the bright and cheerful moments, we aren't able to appreciate the true beauty of being alive," her father had said. "It's a gift to be able to feel everything, little bird. Without the dark days, we'd never appreciate the light."
Hermione was always able to see the good in every situation. Almost being killed by a troll was less than pleasant, but it resulted in her finding her best friends. Getting petrified by the basilisk was uncomfortable, but it relieved her worries about whether or not her friends truly cared about her. Getting hunted down by her professor-turned-werewolf was terrifying, but it showed her that she was far braver than she ever allowed herself to believe.
The list continued on.
For every unfortunate and less than desirable event that occurred, Hermione was capable of focusing on the positive side, except for today. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find any good.
She was stuck in the labyrinth of night, with no stars or moon to guide her way.
May 30, 1998 : 112
A gentle knock on the door was shortly followed by the voice that once brought Hermione comfort. But now, the low baritone caused a pang in her chest and rage to build within her.
"Granger?" Draco spoke softly. "Granger, can we please talk?"
With a sigh, Hermione approached the closed door and crossed straight through the barrier. Her sudden appearance in the hall caused Draco to jump slightly.
"I always forget that you can do that," he said with a soft chuckle, attempting to keep the mood light.
"You seem to also forget that I'm dead," she added, bitterness consuming her tone.
Draco's face contorted in discomfort. "I haven't forgotten that you're dead," his voice barely above a whisper.
"Then why am I here, Draco? Why do you continue to insist on playing out this fantasy of us being together?"
"It's not a fantasy. You are here. I thought you'd be happy that I was able to steal back some time for us."
"All you stole was my sanity!" Hermione exclaimed. "Do you know what it's like for me to be here? Do you know how painful it is for me to see you every day? When I look at you, all I feel is hurt and betrayal. When I look at you, all I see is everything I can never have."
Draco's head dropped.
Hermione didn't know what he was thinking or how he was really feeling, but she didn't care. When she first arrived she was ready to do whatever it took to help him, but that quickly changed when Draco said those six words.
"I'm not letting you go, Granger."
She still wanted peace and happiness for Draco, but the person who was refusing to let her find peace wasn't him. He was not the person who had calmed her panic attacks. He was not the person who brought her and her friend's supplies even though he was exhausted. He was not the person who tracked down her parent's house just so he could retrieve an old childhood book she had briefly mentioned. And he was certainly not the person that she had fallen in love with.
"I want you to leave me alone, Draco," Hermione said firmly before disappearing back into her room.
June 5, 1998 : 106
Just as Hermione had requested, Draco had left her alone. The only time Hermione left her room was to roam the garden, but if she heard so much as the faint sound of footsteps, she immediately retreated back to her isolation. Hermione was adamant about keeping her distance, of remaining inaccessible to him, in hopes that he would grow tired of being avoided and would release her.
Today was an exception.
It was Draco's birthday, a day she knew he was never fond of due to an unaffectionate upbringing. She was angry with the man who was keeping her prisoner, but her heart softened for the boy who was never shown love.
She couldn't offer him a present since going into town and purchasing something wasn't possible. She couldn't ask his house elf, Bippy, to cook his favourite meal because Draco was the only one who could see and hear her. What she could do, however, was give him something that she had refused him for the last six days - time with her.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, Hermione made her way down the corridor and to the room she knew Draco spent the majority of his time in. Hermione passed through the closed door, entered the library, and cleared her throat, gaining Draco's attention. Closing his book, he lifted his head and met Hermione's gaze.
"Granger," he gasped, taken aback by her presence. "Did you need something?"
Hermione shook her head before crossing the room to where Draco was sitting. She stared at the empty space on the couch beside him and let out a deep breath. Slowly lowering herself onto the seat, she focused her thoughts and energy until finally, her body came into contact with the green velvet.
Draco's eyes widened and he shook his head in disbelief. "How are you doing that?"
"I was just as surprised as you are when I discovered it," Hermione said. "If I focus enough, I can solidify in a way that allows me to do things like sit on a couch. I can't feel the softness of the fabric or the firmness of the cushion beneath me, but still, it's something."
"So does that mean you could also..." he trailed off.
The hopefulness in his voice was all she needed to hear to know what the remainder of his question was.
Hermione shook her head. "It only works with inanimate objects, things that don't have a soul," she paused for a second before saying, "just like I don't."
"I see," Draco nodded understandingly. "What are you doing down here, Granger? Not that I don't want you to be, it's just... you've made it pretty clear that you don't want to be around me."
"It's your birthday," she stated.
"I'm aware."
"I'm not letting you spend it alone, even if I am mad at you."
"Okay," he said quietly.
The first few hours were silent and slightly uncomfortable, but as time passed, so did the tension. Draco relaxed back into the couch and Hermione began offering more than just hums or one word responses. Eventually, their conversation started to flow with ease just like it used to, and for a little bit, it was as if everything was normal.
They spent the afternoon discussing literature and reminiscing on memories. Oddly enough, the events that Hermione enjoyed talking about the most were ones that took place during the Horcrux hunt.
They were happy then.
And she was alive.
There was a small piece of Hermione that enjoyed this - talking to him. She missed his sarcastic tone and their playful banter.
She missed who Draco used to be.
As the moon replaced the sun in the sky and the flames in the fireplace began to die down, Hermione could see Draco's energy leaving him. He was tired, but unless Hermione was the one to call it, he'd force himself to stay awake all night.
"...and that time Weasley fell face first onto-"
"It's getting late," Hermione interjected.
"Oh," Draco cleared his throat and nodded, "right, yeah. You're probably getting tired."
Hermione never got tired; not like she used to. She would feel fatigued which would lead to her laying down and resting but, if she wanted, she could stay up for days, months even. But she wasn't going to tell him that. Instead, she just agreed.
"Can I walk you to your room?" Draco asked nervously.
"I'd like that," she smiled.
The walk to her room was quiet, but not the type of quiet that comes from hostility. No. It was a familiar quiet. A quiet that can only exist between two people who are comfortable with one another.
A quiet that comes from love.
Reaching her room, Draco turned the handle and opened the door for her.
"Thank you," Hermione said before walking inside.
Now standing in the doorway, his fingers fiddling with the ring that encased the black stone, Draco chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"What is it, Draco?"
"I was just wondering if you'd maybe consider moving into my room with me? You don't have to decide now, I know we only just started talking again. You can take as much time as you need, I just wanted to put it out there."
Hermione let out a sigh and said, "Today was nice."
"I agree."
"It was a good first step."
"I think so too."
"Let's keep it that way."
"Oh, okay."
"There's still a lot we need to work through, things I still need to work through," she explained. "I'm not saying it will never happen, but in order to get to a place where I'd feel comfortable doing that I need to forgive you and I don't think I'm quite ready to."
Hermione could see the tears that Draco was fighting to keep back as he said, "I understand."
Today was a good day. It was filled with shared laughter and moments that allowed Hermione to escape her reality, to forget what was going on. But she didn't want to forget, because if she did, if she let herself become blinded by the delusion, then she'd be failing Remus, Tonks, Narcissa, and even Lucius.
If she forgot, they would never be able to let go and move on.
If she forgot, she would never be able to let go and move on.
"Goodnight, Draco."
"Goodnight, Granger."
June 9, 1998 : 111
It had been four days since she and Draco spent the day together and, to her surprise, he hadn't made any effort to try and talk to her. The day after, Hermione was heading out to the garden and passed by Draco. She was nervous that he would stop her and bring up his offer again, but he didn't. He simply gave her a warm smile and continued on his way.
The following days went the same.
Hermione would see him, they would exchange a nod and smile, sometimes even a wave, but never once did he intrude.
He respected her space.
June 23, 1998 : 88
She had expected him to crumble by now. She expected him to grow impatient and come knocking at her door and requesting to talk, but he hadn't. He had continued to give her space and let her be.
His physical appearance was starting to improve too. He was showering twice a day, he had Bippy cut his hair, he was back to wearing his dress pants and button ups and he hadn't consumed so much as a drop of liquor or calming draught.
He was getting better.
He was becoming her Draco again.
July 7, 1998 : 74
I just wanted you to know
That I'll never care
How far you push me away
Because when I told you
That I would stay
I meant it
You're a little lost
And a little damaged
But you're not hopeless
I know who you are
I love who you are
And that's why I'll stay
So you learn to love
Yourself too
-Courtney Peppernell
July, 10 1998 : 71
The decision wasn't easy. Hermione paced the length of her room as she listed out every possible way things could go wrong.
1. Draco could grow too fond of their new arrangement and never want to give it up
2. Draco could slip into delusion and forget the reality of their situation
3. She could slip into delusion and forget the reality of their situation
These were all things that would've instantly talked her out of what she was about to do in the past, but things were different now.
There was hope.
There was hope because Draco was getting better. He was healthier, happier and he was in the beginning stages of healing, and that all started happening after they spent time together on his birthday.
Hope was enough for Hermione to risk the negative outcomes.
Joining Draco in the library once again, Hermione walked straight up to him and said, "Okay."
"Okay?" he asked.
"Yes, okay, I will move into your room with you."
A smile so bright it could outshine the sun quickly appeared on Draco's face and his eyes lit up with joy. Hermione could see that it was taking everything in him to not jump up and wrap his arms around her.
"Okay," he said as calmly as possible. "I have a few more things to do but would you possibly want to hangout in an hour?"
"I would love that," she smiled.
As Hermione turned to leave she heard Draco say, "Until then?"
Warmth filled her chest and she swore she felt her heart skip a beat.
"Until then," she replied.
July 25, 1998 : 56
In the mornings, they would talk.
In the afternoons, Draco would read to her.
And in the evenings, Hermione would watch the peacocks from the window while Draco worked on a project he refused to give her details on.
"Are you ever going to tell me what you're working on?" she asked.
"One day, when the timing is right and everything is perfect," Draco replied.
"Can I at least have a hint?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because that would ruin the surprise part of a surprise," he stated.
"Fine," she huffed as she crossed her arms.
"You're being awfully bratty today, Granger," Draco teased.
"And you're being awfully insufferable, Malfoy," she mocked.
"Mmm," he hummed, "just like old times," he grinned as he got up from his chair, walked over to Hermione and positioned his arms on either side of her, his hands gripping onto the back of the couch. "You know I love it when you insult me."
"Do you love it enough to tell me about your little secret project?" she asked, batting her eyes up at him.
He looked off to the side for a second as he thought over her question. Returning his gaze to her, he said, "Nope."
"You're a proper pain in the arse, Draco Malfoy."
"And you love me for it, Hermione Granger."
August 9, 1998 : 41
The sun hadn't even grazed the sky when Hermione heard the voice. It was light, elegant, and one she didn't expect to be woken up by. Allowing Draco to continue to sleep, Hermione made her way downstairs and approached the individual.
"Narcissa," Hermione said quietly.
Turning around, Narcissa's lips pulled into a wide smile as she cleared the distance between them and pulled her into a tight embrace.
Touch was something Hermione had been deprived of for months. Hermione had gotten so used to keeping physical distance between her and Draco that it became normal to her. She hadn't realised how badly she missed simple acts like a hug, until now.
"How are you?" Narcissa whispered in her ear.
The question combined with the affectionate action pushed Hermione over the edge. Her vision quickly became blurred by tears and all that she could get out were sobs.
Narcissa pulled back and held Hermione's face in her hands. "What is it, Hermione? What's wrong?"
Hermione shook her head. "N-nothing," she choked out. "It's just good to see you."
Wrapping her arms back around her, Narcissa said, "It's good to see you too."
August 13, 1998 : 37
Narcissa's arrival was a lot for Draco. He wasn't aware that he had summoned her, so her appearance was unexpected. He had time to process what it would be like to see Hermione again. She was the whole reason he went and found the stone.
But his mother...
It was like ripping open an old wound and injecting acid straight into his veins.
Hermione gave them privacy but even from upstairs, she could hear him. Much like he did with her, he apologised countless times to his mother. He apologised for failing as a Death Eater, for failing as a spy for the Order, and for failing her as a son.
This is good, Hermione thought. Draco blamed himself for more than just her death, he blamed himself for all of theirs. So for him to be able to hear from someone other than her that he wasn't to blame, well, it was bound to help him heal even more, right?
August 16, 1998 : 34
"Oh, good, you're both here," Draco said as he joined Hermione and Narcissa in the garden. "I'll have Bippy bring out breakfast."
"Er, Draco we-" Hermione began but Narcissa cut her off.
"Thank you, darling," she smiled.
Draco called for Bippy and once she appeared at his side and he turned to talk to her, Hermione leaned over and whispered to Narcissa, "Why is he giving us breakfast? He knows we can't eat it."
Narcissa waved her hand dismissively. "I'm sure he means no harm. He is still adjusting to having us both here."
"But isn't it a little concerning that-"
"Hermione," Narcissa sighed. "Everything is okay."
August 23, 1998 : 27
Everything was not okay.
What started out as an innocent breakfast, quickly turned into requesting that they all sit together for nearly every meal. Bippy would serve three plates worth of food and Draco would question them on why they weren't eating.
"Do you not like it? Do you want something else?"
Then, the physical touch attempts started happening.
At first, they seemed accidental. They would all be talking and someone would say something that would make him laugh and, instinctively, Draco would try to reach for Hermione's hand. She'd subtly move away and wouldn't dwell on it, but then it started happening more frequently, more intentionally.
In the mornings, Draco would move towards her in bed and extend his arm out in an attempt to hold her. As they walked, he'd try to place his hand on her lower back. When they would all sit by the fire, Draco would reach for her hand. And when they'd lay in bed at the end of the night, he'd try to kiss her.
Hermione's tactful way of moving just out of reach from him became more obvious with each occurrence. Instead of pretending that she saw something so that she could avoid his touch, she'd violently jerk away from his grasp. It was evident that this action pained Draco, but his actions were hurting her too.
Every time Hermione would try to bring up her concerns to Narcissa, she would dismiss them. Hermione wasn't surprised though, it was just as Lucius had warned her.
"My wife is too blinded by her desire to reunite with our son. If he were to conjure her, she wouldn't fight him on the matter, she wouldn't warn him of the dangers."
Narcissa was in just as much denial as Draco.
September 6, 1998 : 13
"You need to listen to me, Narcissa!" Hermione pleaded.
"No, you need to listen to me," Narcissa replied. "My son is happy, something I never thought he'd be again. I will not be the one to take that away from him. He does not deserve that."
"What about us? Do we deserve this?"
"We have been given a chance to be with someone that we both love very much. I'm failing to see how this is unfair to us, Hermione."
"It's unfair because we didn't ask for this, or at least I didn't. And what about Remus and Tonks? What about your husband?"
"My husband is happy knowing that myself and our son are happy. As for Remus and Tonks, I don't see how their situation is tied to Draco."
"It's tied to him because Remus won't let go and move on until Tonks does and Tonks won't move on until her son is with the person she intended him to be with," Hermione explained. "The longer we let Draco live in his delusion, the more he'll forget. Soon he'll forget that we even died. He'll forget that Tonks and Remus died. He'll forget that he's meant to be watching over Teddy."
Narcissa glanced over Hermione's shoulder at Draco, who was talking with Bippy in the garden. Her eyes softened and her lips pulled into a smile as she watched her son.
"I lost my son once, I'm not losing him again," is all Narcissa said before walking off.
It felt like someone had punched Hermione in the stomach. It was happening all over again. Her concerns were being silenced by someone who cared more about their own happiness by their own desires.
She was trapped all over again.
September 8, 1998 : 11
He convinced her to jump
Promising that he'd catch her
But as soon as she started to fall
He was already turning
Around
-s.b.
September 10, 1998 : 9
He tried to hold my hand again.
September 12, 1998 : 7
People always say
"Why regret something you once wanted?"
But if i had known
What I know now
I never would have wanted it
In the first place
-R.h.
September 14, 1998 : 5
He's starting to forget.
September 15, 1998 : 4
Grieving, grieving, constantly grieving.
I will mourn what could have been,
What will not be, what I can't save.
-Ojibwa
September 16, 1998 : 3
He's changing our ending.
September 17, 1998 : 2
I don't want to be here anymore.
September 18, 1998 : 1
I lost him.
I lost myself.