astronomy

Sirius can hear owls hooting distantly in the night as he leans on the railings of the Astronomy Tower, sighing. Bella was okay now, her friends had flown in and whisked her out of bounds of the Hospital Wing when she was allowed to leave, bringing her coursework and homework when she wasn’t allowed to. 

Sirius had been there, in the background of it all, watching as Selwyn cracked jokes, making her bubble up with laughter in merely seconds. There were two more girls, Sirius saw them at the Sorting, he didn’t remember their names though. 

He never left once, he didn’t show up to any classes, or any meals, the others had to bring his food in for him, and he didn’t care or think twice about the glances Bella’s friends were giving him again and again. He was happy enough to not be kicked out by her, so he sat and watched as she slept and talked and laughed. They didn’t talk either, she pretended like he wasn’t there, and he didn’t know what to say. If he’s being honest with himself, he really doesn’t know what would’ve happened if they did talk, only that it wouldn’t end up well. 

She’d been allowed to go to classes this morning, and here Sirius is, in the middle of the night, looking up at the sky, thinking of all the times him, Reg and Bells never even had to communicate. 

He shifts his weight from one foot to another, thinking about Reg, is he okay? Has he been eating? Did he get any of Sirius’ letters? He didn’t write back. Is he okay? Is Mum being hard on him? No, she wouldn’t, he wouldn’t’ve given her a reason to be, right? He’s the perfect son. 

Sirius should probably sleep. It’s Halloween tomorrow, and if he knows James like he thinks he knows James, that person will not let him sleep for the entirety of tomorrow, so if he was in his right mind, he would be trying to make the best of the little chance of sleep he gets to have for the night.

The thing is, though, that Sirius is not in his right mind. 

So he stands there, thinking about nothing in particular and everything that matters at the same time. He wonders if Bella’s asleep, he wonders if she remembers his birthday. 

Does she? Of course she does, says a voice in the back of his mind, just because you’ve been ignoring her doesn’t mean she’s forgotten your birthday too. 

Do his friends remember? Did Sirius even tell them? Sirius wracks his brain to try and remember if he did the first day, in the train, but he can’t seem to. He didn’t tell them his birthday? Reg would laugh in his face at that. He’s going to add that in the next letter. Reg’s birthday isn’t long away either, Sirius realises, an exact month after his own, and oh shit, what should he get him? 

He panics for a moment, just for a split second before he calms down again. Of fucking course, he thinks proudly, I’m going to get him a leather jacket, just like my own, and I’ll charm it to make sure it always fits him. Reg always loved Sirius’ jacket, stealing it and wearing it when their mother wasn’t around, then refusing to accept that he had nicked it when questioned. Little prick, thinks Sirius, even though he can’t help but smile fondly at the memories. 

Sirius watches the sky turn from black to a light pink as the sun rises, covering him and all of Hogwarts in a faint misty golden glow, lightening up the Black Lake, enveloping everything in a blanket of comfort. He lets out a breath as a soft winter breeze starts to blow feebly. 

He stays there for some more time, waiting until the sun rises properly, looking at its reflection in the Black Lake, squinting slightly. Nature had always been Reg’s thing, always seemed to calm him down, the quietness, the peacefulness. Sirius understands, he really does, but there’s something about crowds, the chatter, the buzz, the constant movement that sets him off. It’s almost like he feels the energy in himself, as if he absorbs it, as if it works like a fuel to get him to keep on moving. As long as there’s people, there’s buzz, there’s noise, Sirius is happy. Polar opposites, him and Reg, yet somehow the absolute same at the same time. 

 He smiles faintly, taking out the Map the Professors had given first years so as not to get lost, his eyes tracing the Gryffindor common room immediately, despite him being out here enough times to have the way memorised by now. 

Sirius comes to a halt in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, catching his breath as he tries to remember the password to the common room, begging his memory to come in handy for once. It’s funny, sometimes, how he remembers all the details that don’t matter, yet somehow manages to forget everything that matters. Like the password to the common room. 

He almost laughs at himself, seemingly in a good mood even considering all the circumstances. His cousin has been in the Hospital Wing for two days most probably because of him, he’s barely slept in those two days, hasn’t even slept tonight, won’t be allowed to sleep for the rest of the day he supposes, and he’s forgotten the password to the common room, and yet here he is, smiling at how fucking foolish he can be sometimes. 

He shrugs, it is what it is, he thinks as he makes his way to the Great Hall, eyes glued to the Map, careful not to walk through any of the ghosts again, (he did that a few days ago, and he did not like the feeling of walking through ice-cold water at seven o’clock in the morning), looking up and smiling proudly when he sees the huge double-door already open in front of him. 

He takes approximately half a minute to process what he’s looking at before he quite literally gasps. 

Real, live bats flying above each table in black clouds. Candles in front of every seat in little pumpkins. More pumpkins up front, carved out and large enough for people to actually sit in them. The whole Hall has an orange-ish glow to it, quite literally hypnotising on its own. 

Except for him, a few Ravenclaws and a Hufflepuff, no-one’s really awake, not that he expected anyone to be. He takes a seat at the Gryffindor table near the middle, already piling up his plate with food and starting, thinking there’s no real point in waiting for the others, he knows it’s going to take them some time before they come down with their mussed up hair and sleepy, groggy faces. He chuckles at the thought, swallowing the bite he was eating before looking up from his food. 

Oh. he thinks, It wasn’t such a good idea to sit facing the Slytherin table right now, was it? 

Nope, says the voice in his mind. It wasn’t. 

Seriously, why do all the bad things happen to me when least expected?. 

Hate to break it to you, but life’s got something against you, mate. 

It’s way too early for this, he thinks before groaning into his pancake.

Oh, he could hit himself. Why did he do that again? Oh, because he’s an idiot. Great. Now Bella’s looking at him. 

He looks up again cautiously, ready to immediately beg the ground to swallow him whole if she looks at him one more time, but no, he’s safe, finally. He almost sighs of relief. Almost. 

Sirius is on his fourth pancake when his friends come in, looking just as he’d expected, well, Peter, anyway. James and Remus are as awake as everything, James flashing him a smile so bright the sun would probably have a run for its money, Remus already piling a bit of everything into his plate in front of him, a book in the crook of his arm.  

“When did you wake up?” James is asking, “You could’ve woken me up with you, y’know.” 

“I would have, if I slept.” he replies casually, biting into his pancake, Merlin, this syrup is freaking amazing. 

“You didn’t sleep?” asks Remus, looking at him. 

“Nah, couldn’t,” 

“You didn’t sleep all night?” asks James again, looking at him with what seems like - concern? Sirius almost laughs, of course he’s concerned about Sirius’  sleeping habits, the idiot. Sirius loves him. 

“No, I didn’t.” replies Sirius, “Couldn’t,” 

“Why?” asks Peter, looking up from his Transfiguration homework, turns out he still hasn’t completed it, and it’s been given to them since last week. 

“I dunno,” Sirius lies, “Just couldn’t, I guess.” I missed my only friends before you guys and woke up and went to the place - the only place - we’re together, he doesn’t say.  

James opens his mouth, probably to press further, but he’s caught off-guard by Evans and her friends coming in. Sirius swears he sees James in shock for a split second every time he sees her, as if he’s surprised to see her, before he pulls himself together and grins like he always does in front of her. Like an idiot. 

“Oi, Evans!” he calls out, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Do you need help with your Transfiguration homework? Need my help?”  

Evans wrinkles her face in disgust. “If you think just because I’m a Muggle-born, I’m going to need your help, Potter, you are so very mistaken.” she says, turning away. 

“What do you mean, my help?” says James, because of course he does, James Potter and leave anything unfinished? Never. “I’m amazing at Transfiguration!” 

“I didn’t mean your so-called amazingness at Transfiguration, Potter.” she replies, glaring at him from across the table, “I meant that I would rather die than accept help from you.” 

Sirius snickers. He doesn’t know what Evans has against James, but her replies are good, even if he says it himself. “Oh, come on Evans, give me a chance to prove myself.” 

“You proved yourself the first day here, Potter, when you shoved Severus for no reason.” 

“Who? The one with the greasy hair? Yeah, well he was being too slow, wasn’t he?” 

“There’s something called patience, you know? Oh, sorry, you wouldn’t.” she scoffs, “You’ve gotten everything served for you on a golden platter as soon as it leaves your mouth, haven’t you? You wouldn’t know what patience is.” 

“I’m not that arrogant, you know.” 

Remus looks up from his book for the first time. “Sorry mate, you kind of are.” 

James fake-gasps. “Remus,” he says, a hand on his chest, one wiping a non-existent tear from his cheek. “I thought you were my friend.” 

“I am, but she’s not wrong,” says Remus, turning back to his book. 

Sirius suppresses a laugh, leaning in to wrap an arm around James as he fake-sobs into his shoulder, “It’s alright mate, you’ll always have me.” he says with as much solemnity he can muster while trying to hide his grin.  

James only groans and fake-sobs some more. Remus, Sirius and Peter very pointedly avoid each other, certain they’ll double over with laughter if they look at each other.

“Mr Potter?” They all look up in sync, to come face to face with Professor McGonagall, looking at them through her square-rimmed glasses, giving James a quick once-over.

James straightens up, grinning. “Oh, it’s okay Professor, I wasn’t really crying.” he says, “Although I do find it charming that my acting was convincing. See Evans? I’m not as bad as you think I am.” 

Evans scoffs, barely paying him any attention, and Sirius snorts, covering it with a laugh when McGonagall turns his way. 

“Yes, I do know you weren’t actually crying,” says McGonagall, bringing her attention to James again, “Euphemia sent me this, said you forgot it at home.” 

She hands James a small bottle of what seem to be pills of some sort, and he runs the bottle over, reading for a second, before abruptly looking up again, and there it is, the shock Sirius sees in his eyes sometimes when he sees Evans. He covers it up quickly, but not quite effectively. 

“Um- Did-” James halts, closing his eyes and taking a breath, doing absolutely nothing to help Sirius’ confusion. What in the name of Merlin is going on? James opens his eyes again, then looks at McGonagall nervously (nervous and James?) “Do- Do you know- what these are?” 

McGonagall arches an eyebrow. “Do you not?” 

“I- I do, but- do you? I mean- did- did you read? What did Mum say?”

“Your mother said you needed these. She didn't mention in her letter the reason why you exactly needed them, but yes Mr Potter, I did read the bottle, and I do know what these pills are for.” 

“Right.” says James. Apparently McGonagall’s answer hasn’t satisfied him, and by the look on his face, Sirius can tell he wants nothing more than the Earth to swallow him whole. Why, though? 

A voice pulls Sirius out of his thoughts, about the reasons he’s assuming James needs pills for. Bella, at the Gryffindor table, looking at them. 

At first Sirius thinks she’s going to talk to him, but she ignores him and focuses on James instead, “Potter!” she calls out, catching his attention, “You borrowed my Charms notes the other day, in the library.” she’s saying, “Care to give them back?” 

James looks at her blankly for a second, then catches up immediately, “Oh, oh, yeah, they’re in the common room,” he says, grabbing his back and getting up immediately, stashing the bottle in the pocket of his robes. “Come, I’ll give them to you.” 

McGonagall waits until Bella and James both disappear outside the Great Hall, giving the remainder of them a quick glance before turning on her heel and walking towards the teachers’ table. 

Sirius furrows his brow in confusion, thinking through all the questions running through his head. What the hell are those pills for? Why didn’t Mrs. Potter just give them to James in the mail? Why did James look so nervous? Since when do James and Bella know each other? When did James even borrow her notes? What was the shock about? Why was James nervous? Should he ask? Should he talk to James? Was he ill? Did he have a disease? What happened? 

Why were all the most unexpected things happening today?