Take Two

(02/07/1996) 1:00 PM 

Harry lays on his bed after dumping his belongings in his trunk for the departure from hogwarts the next day.

In his hands lays a mirror which was a gift from his late godfather, Sirius Black.

He thinks how unfair it is that he never got a chance to know his godfather. Not really because of his unjust imprisionment with soul sucking dementors always around, the real Sirius Black was long gone, escaping only as a husk of the original man he once was, with only shreds of sanity remaining because he knew of his own inncocence. The initial trust that someone from the Order, along with whom he fought for justice and equality, will come and listen to his side of story and help him get his freedom. Only to be betrayed by the whole supposed light side and left there to rote in the worst place on earth for crimes he did not commit. Later on after he escaped there interactions were limited. The first in shrieking shack then through letters and floo call then there limited gathering in Grimmauld place that also with being surrounded by order members and weasley family. Thus, at the end Harry never knew the actual Sirius Black just like Sirius did'nt knew all about Harry.

His godfather was tethering on an edge of his sanity with a case of arrested development. A 22 year old man in the body of 36 years old. In truth the real Sirius Black has died on that halloween along with Harry's parents, this Sirius who died recently was just a shadow, an illusion of a person who provided some shreds of trust, love, care, safety and home to Harry, in whom Harry sometimes viewed glimpses of how beautiful and cherishing life could have been, had two very powerful man not listened to and believed in the words of a drunken crazy lady and based there actions as such.

Sirius who never got the chance to peacefully mourn the deaths of his two best friends and the betrayal from a third friend (peter) and banishment/abandonement to a living hell from the fourth friend(Remus) and rest of the order and there leader who belived him to be guilty of such crimes despite giving benifit of doubt to a death eater like Snape who had willingly joined Voldemort and committed god knows how many crimes and informed Voldemort about the prophecy himself which doomed not only all three potters but Neville and his parents too and God knows what would have happened if more children were born in july end.

Dumbledore listned to a Death eater, accepted him, trusted him, employed him in a school to teach students thus in short gave him his whole life and kept him from going to azkaban but did not trust the man who ran away from his prejudiced and bigoted family, became an active member of order and an Auror and fought in a war that was not really concerning him on personal level because he was a pureblood and could have easily sat on the sidelines and lived his life but even then he chose to do the right thing but for all his hardwork to create an image seprate from the pureblood Black Heir, he was condemed to hell only because his last name suggested his supposed involvement with dark side and did not even got a trial for his suppossed crimes.

Guilt and shame were eating away at Harry for being the cause of death of his last family. The person connecting him to his parents. The two way mirror in his hand, a proof of his idiocity and stupidity and his habbit of riding on the high horses, leading his mind into a whirlpool of what ifs and if onlys and should have beens.

He has passed the stage of violent anger and hurt, now only numbness and pain remains.All tears are dried, only just one thought on repeat mode in his mind of why me, again and again.

Hermione enters the dorm with Ron carrying some books. Both were in the hospital wing for a week after that curse from Dolohov and the brain attacking Ron, two more people in pain due to voldemort's evil plans and Harry's habbit of jumping head first into troubles.

She gives him a silent hug, Ron claps on his shoulders, he gives them a small smile.

"Hermione don't tell me you have already started studying for 6th year" Harry asks pointing towards the stake of book she is carrying.

"Harry, please don't be angry but these books are for you" Hermione says in a small voice.

At the look of confusion at Harry's face,"Look mate, we know you feel guilty about all whats happened and you know how Mione believes all answers are available in books, so we have been searching for whats available on the veil" Ron answers. 

Harry looks at them and then at the books, "But Dumbledore said that anyone who passes the veil leaves the land of the living".

"Harry, yes they leave the land of living but they are also not dead, not really. Its like being in a limbo. The veil is there in the death chamber as long as the ministry is and no one who has crossed it has ever come back but there is also no real proof that they are dead. That is why the unspeakable are studying about it." Ron tells him.

"We don't want to get your hopes up, but I thought that maybe you can get closure after understanding about how this works and if there is any chance that we can bring him back then we can find out......." Hermione trailed avoiding eye contact.

Harry does'nt know what to feel. First comes anger as is his normal stance now a days but then he feels a deep love and gratitude for his best friends for always having his back and thinking about his well being. The three of them are more then friends, they are family.

Harry jumps out of his bed and brings them both into a tight group hug, tears welling up in his eyes on there thoughtfulness.

"So what did you find?" He asks after they have settled down.

Harry listens carefully as Hermione explains that Hogwarts library did not have any books relating the matter, and after being unsuccesfull after an inquiry at flourish and blotts and famous book stores and still not finding any books she wrote to Viktor Krum, who she is pen pal with since 4rth year, explained to him about the situation and asked him if he could find any books on the matter in Durmstrang or Russia in general and he was able to send some books.

Apparently there are many other instances of people leaving the land of living apart from the veil in england ministry of magic, like a sand gulf veil in Eygpt where people are lost in stand storm and never come back, a lake veil in Brazil where if a peson touches it, they are drowned even though the lake is not very deep, a fire archway in china is similar to the wind archway through which sirius fall and also a morasses in canada.

They explain in detail about how such lost people are not dead in actual but because there were very limited instances in which a few of them came back, in general it is simply deemed suitable to call them dead for the lack of better term and understanding. Some people who came back had some unfinished business left before there departure for which they were able to be called by close surviving members of there family. But nothing further is explained about what was the unfinished business in actual in those cases and what was the process of calling them back, stating as it being details about there house/family, which is not to be disclosed and kept a family secret as for not giving any details further on the matter.

The relatives who were able to call back these lost people were also different in all cases, sister in two cases, parents in 5 cases and children in 9 cases.

Also in 3 cases the person who passed through such veil also brought back someone else with them who was dead (actual death and not just leaving the land of living i.e. the people who did not went through the veil anytime.)

Also in 4 cases the person appeared to be of same age as they were at the time of entering the veil, 2 came out to be older than the age then at which they entered the veil (adding the years for which they were in the veil i.e. not in the land of living) and finally in 9 cases they came out to be younger as compared to the age at which they entered the veil ( out of which 3 remembered nothing beyond that physical age of the body despite living more years in the land of living and remaining 6 remembered everything that had happened till the day of there entry through the veil despite there physical body coming out to be younger than the age they entered the veil).

They called for Dobby to bring them dinner in the dorm itself and continued discussing and reading for hours.

Ron suggested that they should check at the tapestry in Grimmauld Place to come to a final conclusion about Sirius's death.

But they were not very hopeful because even if Sirius was not dead, they did'nt have any close member of Sirius's family nor did they knew about Sirius's unfinished business. Also they did not know what the bringing back stage entails.

At the end they retired to the bed after getting some answers and understanding in the matter. Harry felt slightly better by getting a change from his vicious cycles of thoughts navigating between anger, pain , regret, guilt, shame and despair.

He also thought about chances of finding wormtail and handing him over to the ministry so that he will atleast be able to free Sirius of his status as an escaped convict and bring peter to azkaban for the hell he created for them and retrieving the order of Merlin awarded to him posthumously (peter) for his supposed war efforts.

When he slept he dreamt about riding with Sirius on his flying motorcycle.