Chapter 18
Chp 18
Sirius was seething. At least he wasn’t punching or biting anymore, instead he cycled through sullen silence, frustrated muttering, or outright whining.
“It’s just not fair!” Sirius pouts, “It was bad enough for Regulus to be Auroras friend, worse that they’re engaged and now he somehow has his claws in you too?” He barks out a bitter laugh “Two queers for sons, if only Walburga knew! Her eldest is snogging a werewolf, her heir is in a polyamorous relationship, and both are poofs!”
James cringes but keeps his lips sealed tight.
“I would like to think we are little deeper than snogging and What’s so terrible about Regulus anyhow? I know he’s a bit…” Remus shrugs vaguely.
“He’s a prick!” Sirius supplies with venom “and of course I love you moony, but Regulus is a little shit. He wasn’t always, not when we were small, but he is now and has been for years and I don’t care who he shags he’s still an insufferable-“
“Alright! Please.” James pleads.
“No! He isn’t good for Rory or you! I can’t believe you’ve gone and shagged my little Reggie!” Sirius shoves James again before Remus steps between them.
James didn’t see how it was fair that Sirius got to both actively hate and be protective of Regulus at the same time, but that was Sirius for you.
“Hush. Peter is sleeping, we all should be.” Remus buys them a stretch of silence as they settle into bed.
“Why doesn’t James just marry Rory instead?” Sirius asks the dark room,
“Padfoot!” Remus admonishes him with a harsh whisper.
Sirius grumbles Indistinctly, but quiets.
James had intended to stay awake, but ends up falling asleep. When he wakes, Sirius is no longer in bed; it doesn’t take a genius to assume he has since crawled into bed with Remus, as they had been doing for quite some time now. James didn’t understand the pretense of going to sleep in their own beds in the first place. If Regulus were his roommate the extra bed would be a waste of space.
As he lights the candle with a flick of his wand, he supposes the extra bed would be for Rory. He muffles a laugh at the thought because why not? Couldn’t the three of them exist now? Once Sirius got over not being the center of attention. Once he got over the betrayal.
James wasn’t without guilt, about any of it. He questioned whether it was right every day. Maybe it could be clearer now that everything was more out in the open.
If not, maybe he would just let himself get distracted with quidditch for as long as possible before summer break.
Usually he would anticipate summer break with an excited fervor; but now it was more complicated.
What would Regulus do in that horrible house all summer? Maybe Rory would visit, but he would still be essentially alone with those people.
They were extremists. James held the Black family in extremely low regard, despite his fondness for the sons. Because of that same fondness.
Because he remembers the night Sirius showed up at his door bloody and broken and sobbing. He didn’t have a bag packed, he didn’t even have a coat on. He had fled that house for his life.
And Regulus was going back. Alone.
“Don’t you look serious.” Regulus emerges like a creature from the depths to tease him.
“No that’s Sirius’s job. I’m just thinking about quidditch.” James teases right back.
Regulus nods sagely “Yes, you ought to prepare yourself to be beaten. We are definitely winning.”
“Oh?” James can’t help but quirk a smile as he drifts nearer.
Regulus scowls “It’s the last game before school ends, winning it is the only thing Slytherin is talking about.” He rolls his eyes like he thinks the hype is ridiculous and embarrassing.
James knows it’s a front; Regulus loves quidditch. He is an exceptional player too, easily holding his own against the older students on the pitch.
“I wasn’t sure you would come.” James admits, swiftly changing the topic.
“I saw the candle.” Regulus shrugs like it’s nothing.
“Are you… ok?” James asks tentatively.
“You’re the one that got a dose of veritaserum” Regulus replies, a touch defensive.
James smiles, shrugging “I didn’t admit anything too terrible.”
“No, just being with me.” Regulus adds sullenly.
“Like I said, not too terrible.” He grins brighter “I even took a hit for it.” He displays the blossoming bruise on his cheek like a trophy.
Regulus surges forward, gingerly taking James’s face is his hands.
“He hit you?!” Regulus shrieks in disbelief. James nods.
“Right before you tried to warn us. You wanted to save us, you’re a regular Gryffindor!”
“I’ll kill him.” Regulus declares coldly.
James startles.
“You will do no such thing!”
“See? I’m nothing like a Gryffindor. It’s exactly why we are going to beat you on the pitch. Slytherin is taking home the win for sure.” Regulus is easy, smooth. Slippery.
“You never answered the question, Reg. Are you ok?”
Regulus sighs heavily, taking James hands and fiddling with his fingers.
“I don’t know. Yes? I just- we just need to get through the damn dinner and then the wedding and then…” he trails off, lost in thought.
“Do you have to do the dinner? I hate the thought of you back there, even with Rory.”
Regulus draws himself away, stepping back from James warily. Hackles raised.
“What would you have me do James? Move in with you and follow in my brothers footsteps? Hell, why don’t I bring Rory along while we’re at it!”
“Would that be so bad?” James asks, hurt. “Aurora knows she could live with me, if she didn’t have Pandora. I hope you know the same.”
If Regulus was a scared dog biting the feeding hand, James was a moth to a flame. He couldn’t help but turn his burned face to the light time and time again.
“You can’t save everyone, James.”
Especially if they don’t want saving.
“Won’t you let me try at least? Not with everyone, just you.”
“No. I already had my chance, I don’t deserve another one.”
James tugs on their clasped hands, bringing Regulus into his arms where the younger boy slumps into the touch heavily.
“You deserve infinite chances.” James voice is soft, but fierce. He means every word.
Regulus chokes out a sob, breaths shuddering slightly against James’s chest.
“He tried to take me with him when he left that night. That final night Sirius asked me to come with him, to leave that house and never come back. And I said no.
It was the first time I had ever really stood up for myself, and it was against him of all people. You know he practically raised me? He ought not have, he was only a year older and he did a shit job obviously.”
He gestures to himself bitterly, “but he didn’t have a choice. We didn’t have a choice, and when it came time for me to choose I chose to stay.”
He doesn’t say that he chose wrong, but James can feel the sentiment hanging in the air around them.
Choose again James wants to say.
“You were just a child, Reg”
James wants to say make the right choice.
“So you’re doing the dinner. And summer.”
“At Grimmauld Place, yes.” Regulus sounds tired.
“Ok” James breathes. Regulus stiffens.
“That’s it?”
James rears his head back “What do you want me to say, Reg?” He thinks he sounds tired too.
“I don’t know. Not this. This isn’t what I want.”
Panic flares In James’s chest, heart quivering like a cornered animal.
“Ok” James squeaks, feeling very much the opposite. Regulus furrows his brow, confused.
“Why do you look like that? What do you think is happening right now? Because I thought we were done fighting and you look like I’ve kicked your puppy.”
“Aren’t we breaking up?” James feels like his heart is stuttering and stopping again and again.
“What?!” Regulus squawks. James almost laughs, but then his mouth is upon his.
Urgent, soothing kisses are pressed along James’s brow, his jaw.
“Did you think I was breaking up with you, James?” Regulus asks between kisses, unhiding in his fondness. He smiles at James’s still gobsmacked expression.
“I try to be nice and not fight and you think I’m breaking up with you! Pandora has told me I’m too mean, I really should listen. James-“ he looks him squarely in the face, placing a hand on each shoulder “do you want to break up?”
James answers immediately “No!”
Regulus claps his hands, smiling.
“Great! Neither do I, so we won’t. There.”
He runs his hands down James arms, smoothing him out. James feels like he has whiplash.
“What about Rory?”
“Still willing to marry me, I think.”
“Of course she is, she’s crazy about you!”
“Sometimes I think she would pick you if it came down to it.”
“You don’t really think that. Don’t say that. You sound like Sirius, he wants me to marry her instead of you.”
James intends this as a bit of a joke, something to laugh at the ridiculousness of, but Regulus doesn’t laugh. His expression goes cold, retreating inward.
“You should. She would get her inheritance, and avoid the black family issue entirely. It’s the perfect solution.”
James stares in disbelief for a second “Regulus she loves you! She’s marrying you.”
“Yes, it seems so.” Regulus nods solemnly.
“Am I very selfish?”
James is taken aback by the question.
“No; what do you mean? Reggie what’s going on inside that head?”
Regulus shrugs “it just seems selfish is all. That I would get to have you both. Doesn’t that make me greedy?”
“Well I get you both too. And Rory gets both of us and her inheritance. Couldn’t it just… work out?” James asks, smiling bashfully. Hopefully. “Couldn’t it just be good?”
Regulus nods “It could.” He sounds mournful.
“It will.” James promises.
——————————————————————The first thing Rory does when she enters the dining hall is scan the faces at the Slytherin table.
Zeroing in on Evan and Barty, she b-lines toward them, Pandora following quickly behind.
Regulus is the first to notice their arrival, Aurora ignores his lovely face with an effort, jabbing a finger at Barty and Evan.
“You two! What the fuck is wrong with you? You miserable, pathetic, ignorant bastards!”
Evan has the gall to snicker, Pandora smacks him upside the head “That was really fucked up of you to do! You owe everyone an apology.”
“We didn’t know who we were dosing, did we?” Barty defends, earning a smack of his own from Regulus.
“Apologize.” Regulus growls, pulling on Barty’s ear.
“Ow! Ow! Ok I’m sorry!” Barty relents. Regulus glares at Evan meaningfully.
“Sorry for accidentally dosing you.” Evan says dryly.
It would do for now.
“Dora, Reg. I’m sorry but I have to leave you. I can’t stand being at the same table as these two right now. I’m going to go sit with my muggle born friends.” She sneers at the two boys over her shoulder as she leaves.
The Gryffindor table is humming with energy. Aurora settles herself beside Peter and begins making a plate amid the chatter.
“How are you then, Rory?” Mary asks.
“Well.” Rory murmurs around a mouthful of toast, ignoring the elephant in the room. She knows Mary is baiting her, and she won’t take it. “I’ve decided I’ll root for Gryffindor again at the match this weekend.”
A subdued cheer erupts from the group.
“Careful.” Sirius warns her, holding up a finger, “They’ll start calling you a blood traitor soon.”
As Sirius’s jokes sometimes do, this one hits a little too close to the mark. She is well aware of the weight of those words. Well aware of the heaviness in her heart as she boards it up in preparation. Shut tight the hallowed halls of her friendships with Sirius, James, Lily and Remus.
These were all relationships that wouldn’t be approved of by the Blacks. They would learn of them eventually, if they hadn’t already, but it could still be avoided. Unmentioned.
It had been a long time since she had to perform, but she could do it. She could be tactful, polite, strategic. She could play the part, if only for the night.
What was another dinner? Another show?
Maybe this time instead of a dancing monkey, she could be a black swan.
Across from her, James leans in.
“Are you ready for today?” He asks softly. Rory nods.
“Pandora set everything up with Professor Slughorn, a port key is waiting for us.”
James raises his eyebrows, “Yes, but are you ready?”
Damn James and his earnest, stupid face.
Aurora puffs out a breath “Oh I’m chomping at the bit. So ready.” She grits.
James scrunches up his face at the bluff, but follows her as she rises from the table, spotting Pandora and Regulus heading out the same way.
“Why do you even need to go? You clearly don’t want to.” He asks.
“No. I don’t. It’s yet another silly rule, I have to see the house with my own two eyes before it can be placed on the market.”
“You’re selling it?”
“That or leaving it there to rot. I want nothing to do with that house.”
They meet in the hall past the dining room and begin walking to the outer grounds where the port key would be waiting.
There is a moment of tension as the group becomes one.
Pandora looks to Regulus watchfully.
“Hello Reg.” James greets softly.
“Hi James.” Regulus replies, equally gentle.
Regulus holds a hand out to Rory, which she takes. They follow James and Pandora as they chat.
Regulus squeezes Rory’s hand, drawing her gaze to his.
“I know you’re only doing this because you have to, but you say the word and we leave. I don’t care if you haven’t even made it past the threshold, we can always lie. Even if the port key doesn’t come for hours, you say the word and I’ll get you out. Yeah?”
Aurora feels her lip wobble, she bites down and nods gratefully. Squeezing Regulus’s hand, they step up to the rusty watering can serving as their port key. Pandora checks her watch.
“Ok. 50 seconds.”
Pandora takes James’s hand. James slips his hand into the one Regulus isn’t already holding. He smiles at her, encouraging.
“20 seconds.”
James meets Regulus’s gaze, Rory watches them as Pandora puts her watch away and clasps her hands with Regulus, closing the circle.
“10 seconds. Get ready.”
Aurora watches Pandora watch Regulus watch James.
A vision of a tangle of thread, scissors that cut.
Burning, singing cloth and paper sears her nostrils.
Blinking away nonexistent smoke, Rory’s stomach twitches just before the world around her blurrs and lurches into lightspeed.
Two blinks and it’s over, sending Rory crashing to her knees.
Dry grass pricks her palms as she hurls herself back to her feet, ignoring the hands held out to help her.
Immediately, Aurora feels its presence, feels the magnetic, repellant push of it. She squares her shoulders, conjuring images of bravest Gryffindor and slyest Slytherin and beholds the haggard face of her childhood home.