Chapter 16
Chp 16
Where could I be without friends?
“You’re ruining my life.” He groans against James mouth as he kisses him.
“Am I really?” James asks sincerely.
Regulus sighs. “No. No I did that all myself.”
“You can still blame me, if it helps.” James offers, ever generous.
“Don’t you ever get mean? Jealous? You can’t possibly be this good all of the time”
Regulus thinks about every single horrible thought he’s ever had, and can’t imagine James ever thinking anything close.
“Sure. I’m just a person, Regulus, of course I can be unkind.” James says easily, a person aware of their flaws, confident in his skin.
“And jealousy?” Regulus asks.
“Ah, so that’s what this is really about. Yes, I get jealous too. Don’t think that just because I’m sharing you means I’m above human emotion. I would rather have you all to myself; but I want you to be happy more. Have you ever heard of the butterfly metaphor?”
Regulus shakes his head.
“Basically, it’s the idea that if you love something, like if you love a beautiful butterfly, you can’t keep it clenched in your fist for fear of losing it, or it will die crushed in your palm.”
“So I’m the butterfly in this scenario? And you’re letting me fly, as in marry Rory?” Regulus says, unamused.
“Well Rory is also the butterfly, I’m sharing both of you. With each other. We kind of all are.”
“Bit complicated, isn’t it?” Regulus asks dryly.
“A bit” James says, laughing softly.
“But worth it?” Regulus asks in a rare moment of vulnerability, needing reassurance.
“Yes.” James presses a kiss to his cheek, “definitely worth it.”
They are walking Regulus back to the dorms, both boys under the invisibility cloak, when they run into Rory.
She is walking through the halls in her nightgown and patchwork robe, her mothers robe.
James removes the cloak from over them in one swift motion. “What are you doing alone?” James asks, causing Aurora to stumble in surprise.
“Oh!” She exclaims softly, catching herself on the stone wall.
“Sorry! Shit sorry Batty, but why are you out here alone?” James asks again.
Hand still on her heart, Rory looks between both of them as her expression retreats inward, hardens.
“I’m perfectly capable. I’ve just got the shakes is all.” She says, defensive and proud.
“Can we walk you anyway?” Regulus asks softly. Aurora hesitates, debating wether or not to prove her independence.
“Fine.” She breathes through gritted teeth.
Regulus falls into step beside Rory, James taking up her other side. They were escorting her to the infirmary in the middle of the night, but what’s most shocking is that she’s letting them. Aurora did not like receiving help. She was the kind of person to suffer in silence rather than get another person involved. Regulus knew there was a part of her that resented even Pandora’s help. Any assistance she got was out of sheer need; something she didn’t have a choice in. He knew that haunted her. That she felt the need to prove herself, to herself, he supposed. There was no one else to prove anything to.
So he knew better than to touch her, as much as he wanted to steady her. She was shaking quite badly, teeth chattering lightly, knees wobbling like a newborn calf. Keeping his arms firmly pinned to his sides, he walks along the dark hall with them in silence.
He jumps slightly when she suddenly speaks. “I’ve been thinking. Well, I need to ask a favor, actually. There is something that I have to do and I really don’t want to do it. It would be a lot easier if you were there. Both of you.”
The boys murmur their consent, urging her on. She continues, “It’s the house. It was left to me, I’m required to have a look at it. I don’t Want to go at all, but having you two and Pandora there would make it more tolerable.”
“Of course we will be there.” James answers for them both, Regulus nods his head. “How are you doing? You know… with… everything.” James gestures vaguely with his hands.
“Are you asking how it is to be an orphan? Or what it’s like to be engaged to your best friends boyfriend and your other best friends little brother?”
“Merlin, you’re really not holding the punches tonight, Bats.” James cringes, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.
“Honestly, I’m relieved. I am relieved that my Father is dead, isn’t that awful?”
“No.” Regulus replies immediately, “it’s not awful. I feel much stronger things than relief about his passing.” Regulus fury is cold and deadly, sudden and sharp as lightning.
Rory shivers, pulling her robe tighter around her.
“Well, I’m relieved. I’m relieved about this too” she says, pointing between them all “I’m relieved we are all… on the same page.”
“Are we?” Asks Regulus.
“Well yes…” Aurora hesitates “You and I are engaged to be married, but you and James don’t have to end things. We are… sharing you.”
“And I’m sharing you. With James. And Sirius.” Regulus clarifies.
“And you’ve agreed to try to get along with Sirius.” James reminds him.
“Yeah no promises on that one.” Regulus drolls.
Both James and Aurora groan. As they near the door to the infirmary, Aurora slows down “Before I go, I just want to say that you don’t have to sneak. I mean, I know you don’t want anyone to know, but with me, you don’t have to.”
“Thanks Bats” James replies, almost bashful.
“Can I come in the morning?” Regulus asks, Rory nods, and with one last small smile to the boys, she closes the door.
Back under the cloak, James walks Regulus to the common room.
That night James dreams of summer rain. Aurora dreams of lightning striking a tree. Regulus dreams of smoke and storm clouds.
—————————————————————
Aurora is reading in her bed in the infirmary when she hears the patter of multiple feet. She pulls back the curtains, already smiling, to see four sleepy faces walking towards her.
“James dragged us all out of bed first thing.” Peter complains, earning an elbow to the ribs from James, who is the only one that looks remotely happy to be awake.
“How go the ailments?” Remus asks her, taking a seat at her bedside.
“I’m fine, the shakes are gone now. Feeling fresh as a daisy.” She smiles, feeling neither fresh nor floral. At least she had gotten into real clothes, even if they were particularly comfy. Pajama-adjacent.
They settle in, chatting and laughing as they pass the time before breakfast. The boys are so engrossed in conversation that Rory is the only one that notices when two new people enter.
Pandora and Regulus slow their approach warily. Ignoring the spark of frustration in her belly, she waves, smiling brightly at them.
The marauders turn to look at the newcomers with mixed reaction. Peter looks like he’s debating whether or not to run away while he still can. Remus scans the group with wary eyes. James has his eyes trained on Sirius, who is staring straight at Regulus. Regulus ignores them all, gliding towards Aurora and gently placing a kiss to her brow.
“How are you my darling?” Regulus asks softly, smirking when she grows red in the face.
Aurora tilts her head up to gaze into his face “I’m well now” she says dreamily. Sirius makes a gagging noise, which James shushes him for. Pandora tries and fails to stifle her laughter.
“What’s that?” Rory asks, gesturing to the envelope in Regulus’s hand.
“This” he holds out the envelope to her, she takes it, examining the red wax seal.
She recognizes the family crest a moment too late.
“This is your engagement announcement. I’m sending it to the family later. Is that alright?”
“No.” Sirius replies before she can answer.
“I wasn’t talking to you.” Regulus replies tightly, back turned to Sirius.
“You know what will happen if you send that letter. They would never accept an engagement without meeting her first. They’ll want to make sure they approve of her breeding, count her teeth, test her blood-“
“Stop it Pads” Aurora interrupts, “they aren’t going to-“
“Yes they will. They will do that and more. You’re a fool to let them. What you don’t allow them, they will take from your mind what you are unwilling to give. You have no idea-“
“Alright that’s enough of that.” Pandora steps in front of Sirius, completely blocking him off from her sister. Sirius makes an affronted gurgle behind her, which she ignores.
“The breakfast hour is upon us, Rory, Regulus, shall we?”
Aurora swings her legs off the bed, shooing Regulus’s extended hand away as she rises. Silently, she turns to Sirius, who is still staring slack-mouthed at Pandora for daring to interrupt the infamously psychotic Sirius Black.
“I love you, Padfoot. I know you’re scared, I know they’ve hurt you. Both of you. But I’ll be fine. You aren’t the only one that has practice navigating that world. Plus, I’ll have Reggie.”
Sirius is sitting with his arms crossed, pouting like a child throwing a tantrum. He looks 100% uncomforted by her words, but stays silent.
She exchanges tense goodbyes with the boys, promising to meet up with them later, before following Reg and Dora out into the hallway.
“Sirius is certainly a ray of sunshine. Did you have to goad him Reggie?” Pandora asks disapprovingly.
“I did no such thing. It’s not my fault Sirius is a drama queen.”
“You could have said the letter was something else. Told me another time.” Aurora suggests softly.
“I thought you didn’t want me to lie” Regulus counters unfairly.
She is saved from having to reply by Barty Crouch Jr. shouting “REGULUS!!” And waving him wildly over.
Regulus groans “At least one of you needs to come with me.”
Now it’s the girls turn to groan. Regulus continues his plea “They are so much more behaved when a girl is with them.” He holds his hands out in supplication.
Pandora yields first, “fine” she rolls her eyes as she waves limply to Rory.
Aurora happily joins Lily and Mary at the Gryffindor table, glancing occasionally over at an annoyed Reg and a cringing Pandora.
The others arrive shortly after, Sirius is upon her instantly “If you’re going to be in that house there are some things you need to know.”
“I grew up in an abusive household too, Sirius.”
“Can you just this one time not be so goddamn stubborn and listen to me?” Sirius says in rising anger.
Aurora finds it easy to meet him there. “No! I don’t want to hear it! I don’t want to hear about how evil they are and how much you hate Regulus and how I’m making a horrible decision-“
“But you are! And they are!” Sirius all but shouts, causing Rory to stand.
“They made you and Reg, they can’t be all bad.”
They try to get her to stay, but Sirius is stewing silently and Rory feels like doing much the same. Alone.
It’s well dark when she looks up from her book and notices the light of a candle flickering in the window.
Maybe it’s the residual anger and frustration at Sirius that beckons her to rise from her seat. Tightening her robe, she purposefully bounds out of the common room, through the hall, and into the stairwell. As she climbs the stairs, ears open for any noises, it occurs to her that she has no idea where she is going. She turns the complete other direction, climbing right back down the stairs toward the Gryffindor wing.
Before long she is knocking loudly on the marauders’ bedroom door.
“Hello? Let me in.” No answer. She tries the handle. It isn’t even locked. Reminding herself to scold them for their security, she slips into the room, quickly rifling through the drawer in James nightstand for the map.
A cold chill passes through her, like frozen fingers down her spine. She drops the map as if it burned her.
What am I doing? What was the plan here? Confront them? I told them to keep seeing each other.
She finds her hands picking the map back up and opening it as if of their own accord.
Breaking and entering? The door wasn’t locked. Spying? Merely confirming an educated guess.
She finds their names so fast it’s laughable, James Potter and Regulus Black in a hallway she saw in her dreams, their names practically on top of each other they were so close.
Jaw clenched, her eyes rove the map lazily; snagging on Remus Lupin and Sirius Black in what appeared to be a random room in a random hallway. A closet. I knew it I knew it! Feeling immediately guilty, she folds the map up and places it back in the drawer.
What was the point of a conscience if it only acted too late? She leaves feeling sorry for herself. She doesn’t stop feeling sorry for herself for a long time.