Chapter 4
Aurora would never have guessed a year ago that some of her favorite moments would happen in a hospital bed. The infirmary isn’t usually a place for making new friends, but their situation was hardly commonplace.
Since Rory continued to frequent the infirmary, it took her a shockingly short amount of time to figure out that Remus Lupin was a werewolf. A little on the nose, that.
It took even less time to figure out that the whole marauders group was somehow involved; that they knew about Remus. And that they didn’t want anyone else knowing.
So she held her tongue. Tucked the knowledge into the back of her cheek should she ever need it.
And she kept her mouth shut.
Really she was very good at that sometimes.
So she didn’t ask too many questions, or look too closely at certain wounds. She kept her ears and eyes open wide though.
It wasn’t as if she was reporting to anyone. As far as anyone else was concerned, whatever knowledge Rory possessed was in a sealed vault; in a forgotten dark place.
She hadn’t planned to tell them much about herself; hadn’t planned to be their friend. But that’s what happened anyway.
Across many nights and early mornings she found herself giving them more than the usual sprinkle of information she would give.
They didn’t need to know the details. They could know her father was horrible to her without knowing that he spent her whole life ignoring her unless it was to hawk her out to a business partner or some other wrung in the ladder he was desperate to climb. They needn’t know about her being treated like a doll at best, or the harsh punishments. They needn’t know that the most likely cause of her constant sickness was what she had endured her whole life.
Anyway that was all over now, she was here. Safe. She had…. Friends. And friends told each other things, she thinks. So she tells them he would starve her and yell at her and stop there.
She told them about all about Pandora, but she neglected to mention her only other friend for fear of his brothers reaction.
Remus and her talked about books. They were both fond of classic literature, especially Gothic. Remus loves Frankenstein and Rory adores Jane Eyre. The other boys found this conversation very boring indeed, so Sirius and James told her all about quidditch, and what it was like to fly.
She had never been on a broom before.
Even just the thought of it made her queasy; she could barely keep her footing on the ground on a good day.
She spent probably the most time with Remus due to their conditions; but mostly that was spent in comfortable silence as they read together.
James and Sirius were impossible to ignore, and she found she didn’t want to. Sirius was bold and so full of life, and James was so very earnest and kind. The duo was charm himself. So it would have been easy for them to overshadow the quiet blond boy, Peter.
Rory made sure to pay special attention to him when he was around. She felt a certain kinship, knowing how easy it was to fade into the background and be forgotten. Peter was impossibly sweet, and Aurora learned that he collects chocolate frog wizard cards. He keeps every single one he gets, he’s just collecting them to see how many of each wizard he can get. This made Rory laugh out loud “what? Where do you keep all those cards then?” She asks, incredulous.
“I have a trunk” Peter replies simply, with a casual shrug.
“You have a whole trunk. Filled with wizard cards from chocolate frog boxes.” Aurora reiterates helpfully.
“Well it’s not full yet but yeah”
“Peter that’s brilliant”
That had made the boy smile so sweetly, forever endearing him to her.
She certainly would never have guessed that she would be friends with James Potter, quidditch player extraordinaire and hogwarts heartthrob. The last bit was perhaps a stretch but it was fun to make him bashful about it, as cocky as he might have come across, James Potter was a real softie. Aurora liked to find that soft underbelly and poke it to watch him squirm.
In return, James brought her breakfast in bed.
This was also a bit of a stretch as mostly he would chuck some kind of pastry at her head, only looking back to see where it landed when Rory inevitably fumbled and complained of crumbs in the bed.
Generally the group was a giggling, teasing mess, and Aurora felt touched to be a part of it.
Sometimes, rarely, she let herself think that it feels like she has four brothers.
As if she knew what that would feel like.
As if she wasn’t lying to Regulus.
It wasn’t lying exactly, but it was too close for comfort. Reg never asked about the infirmary so she never had to lie or tell him that she was spending her nights with his brother and his friends.
Aurora kept finding herself almost spilling the beans anyway, wanting to mention something James did or a comic Peter had loaned her. But she held her tongue. Every word she bit back was acid in her mouth.
Of course she couldn’t keep it from Pandora. Even if she wanted to, she would notice the comics, or simply walk into the infirmary and see it for herself.
So it was only a matter of time.
It took a week.
One early morning, Pandora cornered her as she was trying to sneak back into their room.
She was met with her cousins wild eyes right in front of her face as soon as she opened the door.
“Ah! Merlin Pandora!!! What are you doing?!?” Rory exclaims, jumping away from the threshold.
“Cornering you” she states matter-of-factly, pulling Rory into their room, closing the door and whirling around to face her sister.
“Who is it? Because i think I would know if you were snogging Regulus and that’s who I thought you were in love with anyway.”
“W-what?!?” Aurora puffs, flabbergasted and very distracted by the unbidden image of her and Regulus… she hadn’t admitted anything to Pandora; but she still knew. How did she always know.
“Oh please” Pandora says, rolling her eyes “ it’s obvious you’re in love with Regulus just like it’s obvious that you’ve been sneaking around and lying to me about it” she says the last bit with enough venom that Aurora feels her eyes prick with tears.
“I have not-“she says, voice breaking with emotion “I have not been lying to you.”
Aurora takes a measured breath and gestures for Panda to sit next to her on her bed. “ I haven’t been lying to you but I’m still sorry. It’s just- it’s a bit complicated, but I’m not snogging anyone!”
“Ok…” Pandora says, hands folded in her lap, waiting.
“I’ve been spending nights in the infirmary with the marauders” When she sees Pandoras eyes widen she rushes to add “it’s not like I went out of my way to or anything they just are also there a lot and I just ended up liking them. Honestly I think you would like them a lot too. They’re my friends.”
Talking about them with Pandora, even just a little has made Rory’s chest feel warm. “I’m sure they would like you too Panda. If you… wanted to meet them.”
Pandora looks at her sister sadly, shaking her head. “It would kill Regulus”
The warmth in her chest is snuffed out like a candle. She feels the breath knocked out of her at the words.
Dora must hear it because she adds “I’m happy you’ve friends, really I am, and I’m not angry I just… I can’t do that to Reg”
Can’t do what I am doing to Reg.
Aurora feels like her stomach is full of little lead pebbles. Iron stones clacking together and weighing her down.
The weight of her shame.
It isn’t until she hears a keening noise, and feels her sisters arms wrap around her that she realizes she is crying.
“I don’t want to hurt Reggie. Really I don’t. I just- I don’t know what to do. I cant-“ a choked sob comes out of her throat “ I can’t lose him”
And she didn’t want to lose her mates either.
She hates the sounds of her voice. Hates how she sounds so desperate, like a child throwing a tantrum. Really it’s all so stupid she could laugh. She has only known this boy for a year; she’s been friends with the marauders for less time than that. So why does it feel like this? Like losing one would be like losing a limb?
Aurora clenches her hands into fists, fighting the urge to scream because it was all so much easier before. She didn’t feel like this when it was just Pandora and her.
“Just tell him. Be honest” Pandora says into her hair, pulling away and scanning Rory’s wet face with worried eyes.
Be honest
As if it were so easy, as if it didn’t have the potential to destroy everything.
But her sister was right. As usual. It was the only real solution.
That wouldn’t stop her from staying up that night staring at the ceiling, brain working overtime trying to find a way out of telling Regulus that she had been betraying him for most of their friendship