Reunion
Regulus woke up very early the morning after the ceremony. He hated waking up late, even on the days he didn’t have school and didn’t have anything to do, he would never sleep as long as he could. Sleeping is a wast of time, that’s what he thought.
He got up to go to the bathroom silently because his dorm mates were still sleeping. Regulus took his time getting ready. He took a long, warm shower and tried his best to style his hair perfect after. It was kinda important to him to look good on his first day back at Hogwarts. He really couldn’t tell why tho.
After getting ready he went back to his bed and started organising all his stuff onto the table and his wardrobe. Regulus kinda liked organising his stuff in his dorm after holidays, it made him know that he wouldn’t need to go back home for a longer time.
The books belonged in the small bookshelf that hangs above the bedside table, his clothes in the wardrobe across the room from his bed. The rest of his stuff was mostly placed on his desk or stuffed back in the box under his bad. It of cause wasn’t the perfect place but for Regulus it was totally fine.
By the time he was ready the other were ready to go to breakfast too.
“Let’s go mates”, Evan said.
“Coming” Barty and Regulus answered and they all made their way down the stairs down to the commonroom where Pandora was already waiting.
***
After breakfast Regulus and Pandora went for a walk around the grounds together. They did that quite often last year, Regulus loved it. Sometimes they didn’t even talk a lot and sometimes they talked a lot. A very few times Pandora even got Regulus to talk about his feelings to her, he felt kind of guilty every time he talked about it to her because he felt like using her as a therapist but he sometimes just accepted it.
“Reg love, are you happy about being back at Hogwarts?”, she asked, walking through the gates that led to the green grounds and the back lake.
“Yea, sure I am, missed you” he answered smiling at her. It was the truth, he missed her a lot. And even though the school year was about to really start again and he was being confronted with seeing Sirius again he was also happy to be back at Hogwarts.
“Missed you too Reg.”
He smiled.
“Regulus i noticed you not talking about your holidays on the train. We’re they bad? You don’t have to talk about anything specific you know, just thought I’d give you the chance to talk to someone.“
He stopped everything for a second. He really hated being asked about something he didn’t wanna talk about. He could feel Pandoras eyes on him though and he knew that she would not leave the question unanswered.,
“Yea, they were kinda shit. Had nothing exciting to tell back on the train so I just listened to y’all’s stories.“, he admitted coldly.
Pandora accepted what Regulus had said so they started talking more about Pandoras holidays instead. She told her about being camping and how she went hiking with her family and about all the gerat people she met. Regulus would lie if he would say he wasn’t ab little jealous about how happy her holidays were. He wished he would ever experience hiking or camping instead of forced family dinners and abuse. He wished, but he was sure that wish would stay a wish till the day he died. Died as the heir of the Black family, a well known death eater that would have death eater meetings in his own damn living room. And he would surly never ever talk to Sirius again. Or he would die before all that would happen as he sometimes wished he would.
They sat down at some point. The two of them already walked down the whole hill to the black lake where they finally sat down on a stone.
It was their common place to be. A stone that was formed as a bench, perfect to sit on and talk with the view on the huge lake.
Moments like these were the ones Regulus loved. He liked to observe them, memorise them. Sometimes he even wrote about them. Wrote poetry about them. At least if you could call it poetry, he didn’t knew, he never showed anyone.
At this point they weren’t talking about Pandoras holidays though, they talked about school. About all the upcoming things. It was not really interesting but they knew the year would be stressful so a little pre chat about it could not be bad. And it wasn’t bad, at least until Regulus couldn’t concentrate on any of Pandoras words anymore.
“Regulus are you even listen-“, she started saying, laughing, as she turned abound within the sentence and instantly understood what caught Regulus so off guard that fast. Sirius and Remus were walking straight towards them. “Oh…I see“
Regulus looked at her. “We should leave.“, he said instantly but rather silent and unsure.
“But why Reg?“, the blond girl asked back, lowering her eyes.
“Or hide.“, he added rather stressed without even having listened to her.
He knew Sirius hadn’t seen him so he got up and tried to pull Pandora away with him but Pandora pulled him back down and forced him to look at her and listen.
“Regulus. I know it hurts you to see Sirius, i get that, but you can’t run away from him seeing you forever. Maybe he will just walk past us, maybe he won’t even see us cause they walk another way. He ran away, no need for you to run away from him now.“
Regulus tried to stay calm on this. He hated Pandora for saying that last sentence but he couldn’t blame her, she didn’t know about why Sirius left and what she said was still not so wrong, so he stayed. But not calm. He couldn’t say a word to Pandora because he was to nervous. His breathing was heavy and unsteady. A sight of panic rose up in him.
It all doubled when Sirius and his friend Remus were just a few meters away. Regulus couldn’t even tell if Sirius saw him because he wasn’t able to look at the two of them until they passed them.
Well actually they didn’t.
“Hey“, Pandora said to the two of them, as nice as she was she always said hello to the people she passed.
Remus smiled at her and said it back but Sirius seemed kind of nervous.
Neverminding the obvious nervousness, Sirius stopped walking just as Remus had said Hello back
“Hello Pandora, Hey Reg.“
Regulus looked up, straight into Sirius’s eyes, grey and unsure. Sirius was scared.
“Don’t call me Reg.“ he said back. He really tried to say it as cold as he would usually say something like that but it was Sirius, no matter how hard he tried he could never hate him. He would never blame him for leaving, he was glad he did, Regulus knew Sirius would’ve died if they went on abusing him like that. He sounded sad saying it, he was sure.
“Sorry.“, Sirius paused for a long second,“I don’t wanna disturb you too but uhm, how are you Regulus?“
“Fine.“
The holidays just ended, Sirius surely knew Regulus was not ok but he would never tell him he’s not ok. At least not there, not now.
“Ok. Hey I understand if you don’t want to and I honestly did not plan to ask you this anyway but-“
“What’s it Sirius?“, he was kinda confused now.
“would you like to talk to me? I know you may not want to but, uhm, I want to talk to you.“
Oh, Regulus thought. That was the least thing he expected to hear from Sirius. He already accepted that he would never talk to his brother again. He thought they would have to avoid each other for the rest of their lifes. What should i say, what should i say, WHAT SHOULD I SAY??????? He asked himself over and over again.
He looked over to Pandora, she already had her eyes on him. Then Regulus looked over to Remus, he was staring between Sirius and Regulus in disbelieve. Regulus. Couldn’t tell if it was because Sirius really asked or because he didn’t knew Sirius would want to talk to his brother.
The situation overwhelmed Regulus, he did want to talk to Sirius but there was so much going on in his head cause of their situation and be would not at all know what to say to him… but he did want it.
“Yea… if you want.“ he said not trying to think about it too much.
“Okey.“, he smiled awkwardly but you could see a sight of relief in his eyes, “gonna pick you up at the entrance of the great hall after dinner than, if that’s ok with you“
Regulus nodded.
The two of them left. Remus turned directly to Sirius as they walked away. Regulus could tell, none of the four people involved knew what the fuck was going on there. Sirius turned to Remus aswell, he didn’t seem confident at all, he was nervous and unsure about what he just did, it was obvious. Regulus was surprised tho. Sirius usually never shows when he doesn’t feel confident, even after abuse or uncomfortable situations he would usually still be the confident Sirius he is.
But the same would count for Regulus too. He usually walked around acting like a Black, as if he would despise Muggleborns and any other houses than Slytherin. He always, in every situation where anyone other than his close friends could see him, tried to act as cold hearted as he could. Partly because he wanted to keep people from questioning him but also because he couldn’t help it, he didn’t know how to behave differently.
It’s actually kind of the same as with Sirius’s confidence, he is confident, for sure, but not completely, not all the time and he also does it so that no one would question him.
He’s still Regulus’s brother, Regulus still knew him.
“What was that Reg??“, Pandora then asked after Sirius and Remus were out of sight.
“I told you we should've hidden“, a still shocked, overwhelmed, confused voice answered.
pandora shook her head, “Why? Well, this conversation was very unexpected, I must agree, but it turned out good, didn't it?“
A weirdly comforting smile crossed her face, making it difficult for Regulus to give a true, meant answer, so he just nodded and agreed.
“Cute how Remus comforted Sirius by taking his hand as they walked off. You saw? He must've been so nervous.“
Regulus hasn't seen, didn't consider it weird though, that Remus would take Sirius' hand, he even found the information very lovely because it told him that his brother was somehow loved. Someone took care of his brother and was there for him, it's a good thing.
“Can you keep it to yourself? With whom i'm gonna meet up after dinner? Don't want to make a big deal out of it.“
“Sure, I'll keep my mouth shut love.“
***
During dinner Regulus got extremely nervous, he had thought about what they would talk about all day but he really couldn’t imagine a normal conversation. The two of them had always needed each other, they used to sneak in each others bedroom, especially when they were little. They always talked. It did change when Regulus got to Hogwarts, yes, but during the holidays they still needed each other and even when Sirius left, Regulus needed him, but since he couldn’t have him he was alone and it made him angry at Sirius and he deeply believed they could never talk like they used to anymore.
Regulus actually though about just leaving the hall and return to his dorm so he wouldn’t have to meet Sirius when he sat in the great hall and looked over to him. He’s happy, he doesn’t need me, why the fuck would he still want to talk to me?? Regulus asked himself. He really still couldn’t understand.
He left the great hall after he had finished dinner to wait outside. Sirius must’ve seen because he was outside just a few seconds later.
“Hey Regulus.“, he said.
It was the first time Regulus really looked at him to talk to since he left. It felt weird. He looked as always but something had changed though. His hair got longer, he wore some make up on his eyes, Regulus had never seen that on a boy before, their mother would’ve killed him for it but in general he looked more healthy and happier. It did gave Regulus a little smile on his face, he couldn’t avoid being proud of him.
“Hello.“
“Sorry for asking you to meet me today, it was kind of a spontaneous decision I didn’t knew I would make.“
“Could’ve said no“
Sirius agreed.
“Let’s go somewhere. Don’t feel the need to be seen with you.“
Regulus did his best of sounding as uninterested as he could in case someone would hear them but maybe also because he couldn’t tell how else to behave.
“Ouch.“, Sirius said sarcastically, “but yea follow me.“
He followed. They went to a classroom that was empty and locked the door. Just to make sure. They grabbed chairs and sat down, it was a little weird, sitting opposite of each other in an empty classroom. The silence that hung in the room for the first couple seconds was the most disturbing.
“So? Why’re we here?“, Regulus asked, breaking the silence.
Sirius looked at him, Regulus knew that look, he had a lot to say but didn’t know where to start.
“Hey Reg- oh, forgive me, Regulus. I’m sorry. For leaving. I just- they would’ve killed me, you know that.“
Nothing I didn’t already knew, Regulus thought, but it still got him. In that moment every will to overthink his answers were gone.
“I know that. It’s fine, you did what you needed to do and I obviously survived it without you there for the past 8 month or so, so it’s all good. And just call me Reg, i was surprised that you talked to me earlier, I couldn’t control what I said.“
“Glad you did. But don’t think they would kill you anyway, they want you to become heir of the family now.“
Regulus hated the idea of it, but it was true, he was the the only son now, he would need to become heir of the black family. The thought of it made him feel nauseous, dying instead of become the leader of his family didn’t even sound to bad anymore.
“Thanks for reminding me I’m gonna be forced to marry a cousin of mine.“he responded sarcastically.
Sirius laughed. He was supposed to marry Narcissa, maybe their parents would get her to Marry Regulus now.
“Sirius“, he paused for a second, Sirius lifted his eyes up to his brother, a sight of angst flushed through his eyes, not knowing that Regulus just wanted to compliment him. “You changed.“, he said with a light smile on his face, he maybe even looked a little proud. Sirius seemed confused though.
“What do you mean? Still the same person.“
“You seem happier since you left. You look more yourself.“
“Ohh so this is a compliment?“
“Guess it is“
“Thank you Reg. Mom would’ve really killed me if she saw me wearing make up.“ he laughed
“She so would. But I like it. Looks cool.“
“Naw. Glad to hear that. i actually thought you’d think different of it cause you know… our family, almost anyone actually, thaught us it’s wrong.“
“The people that would hate you for wearing make up already hate you anyway.“
“How dare are you to assume anyone could ever hate me?“, he said in the dramatic Sirius way.
“Oh I don’t know, could never name a reason anyone would hate you.“, the younger brother answered and was instantly back in a time where the two of them sneaked to each other bedrooms during holidays and talked about whatever just to be with someone and not be alone and terrified of their family.
They talked for a few more minutes before Regulus decided to leave because he assumed it would be too suspicious to stay away from his friends for too long after dinner.
Outside of the room they were in James laid agains a wall, obviously waiting for Sirius.
“Oh, hi James“, Regulus smiled.
The boy smiled back, “Hey Reg“, he replied and then passed by him to get to Sirius.
James talked like the sun, he walked like the sun and acted like the sun, he is the sun, Regulus thought. He couldn’t imagine how anyone could ever be that perfect.