As soon as his mother’s claw loosened its grip on his shoulder, Sirius black usually would have bolted to the train. This time was different. This time he couldn’t so much as take a step without pain violently coursing through his limbs.
He picked his trunk up slowly, wincing in pain as the wounds on his back pulled and split back open. He felt the blood oozing down his spin. Sirius stood back up and slowly walked to the train, limping slightly.
The platform was virtually empty, it being to early for most families to have arrived. The old Sirius would have been upset because it meant none of his friends would be here, he would be alone. But the old Sirius was gone, replaced by a broken and bruised boy, a shadow of his former self.
He boarded the train and found the marauders’ usual compartment, shapely stumbling inside and shutting the door behind him. He tried to lift his trunk in to on of the overhead storage units, but he couldn’t. Weeks of being chained up in the dark and starved had taken a toll on Sirius’ health, both physical and emotional.
After trying, and failing, once again to put up his trunk he gave up, opting to shove his bags under the bench before crumpling onto it himself. His body shook uncontrollably as pain jolted down his nerves in waves, a familiar and uncomfortable side affect of the Cruciatus curse.
He laid his head against the window and allowed sleep to consume him.
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The rest of the night passed in a blur.
First years were sorted into their new houses. Sirius pushed food around his plate as his friends cackled and talked about their wonderful summers.
After the feast the marauders made their way back to gryfindor tower to their dorm. It was almost like they had never left. Except last time he was here the room had radiated joy and warmth, but now all Sirius felt was cold, and pain, and fear. He couldn’t shake the feeling of his mother’s eyes staring at him with anger and contempt. Couldn’t drown out her screams as she raged at him for being a useless, filthy blood traitor. He couldn’t get rid of the scars on his back left by her difindo curse, or the little silvery lines on his wrist from the blade he had held there as he sobbed, alone, in the bathroom.
A hand on his shoulder caused his to jump.
”sorry pads. You were spacing out love. Are you ok?” Remus asked. Remus with his kind eyes and soft hands. Remus, his boyfriend, who he loved more than anything in the world. Remus who he could never lie to.
Tears clouded his vision and he shook his head. He looked at the ground unable to meet the worried eyes of his lover.
warm arms gently snaked their way around the smaller boy. Sirius nestled his face farther into the soft fabric of Remus’ jumper and let himself cry. Violent sobs ripped out of Sirius’ throat as Remus held him.
When they finally pulled apart Remus kept his hands resting on Sirius’ shoulders.
”can I see what they did to you?” He asked, squatting down to meet Sirius’ gaze.
he nodded. It didn’t seem like he was capable of speaking. Not right now. Not when the sound of his blood rushing in he ears drowned out everything. Remus guided Sirius to his bed, helping him to sit, and then walked to the bathroom to grab the necessary tools to help his boyfriend.
when he returned he gently helped Sirius to pull his robes off. Remus gasped, the entire back of Sirius’ shirt under the robes was soaked in blood. Remus immediately got to work cleaning any and all injuries Sirius had endured as quickly as he could. He only paused once he got the the neat bloody lines on Sirius’ arms.
”love.” He stated gently, “are you cutting again?”
It felt like he was drowning and it took more physical effort than it should have for Sirius to nod his head. Remus pulled him into a hug once more whispering ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘shhh it’s ok’ and ‘you are so loved’ in Sirius’ ear. Sirius remained almost like a statue, unable to get rid of the lump in his throat.
after about a minute he was finally able to talk, “c-can w-we just g-go to bed?” He muttered softly.
Remus nodded. “Of course baby. Let’s get changed first, yeah?”
Sirius just nodded. Remus changed into a set of bed clothes, and then he helped Sirius into a pair of shorts and an oversized jumper that Sirius had stolen from Remus last year.
after laying down sleep came easily. Sirius curled into Remus, and Remus wrapped around his fragile lover. Remus gently placed a kiss on Sirius’ forehead, and then sleep fell upon then like a blanket.
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that was how James and Peter found the two lovers in the morning, wrapped in the safety of each other’s arms.