Remus painfully looked up at the sun rays that went through the heavy curtains of the infirmary bed frames. He wanted to throw up. He was hungry, and a violent headache was preventing him from thinking logically. Right now, the only thing he was conscious of was an incredible pain in his entire body. The full moon night had been particularly painful ; he had ripped off half of his face, and his arms had been scratched to blood. His transformation had left him with a broken arm and two cracked ribs. It was a bit more severe than his usual wounds, but nothing that Madam Pomfrey couldn’t heal.
He slowly got off the infirmary bed where he had fallen that very morning, exhausted. A long day of class was waiting for him : Defense and Advanced Potions, and later in the evening, Charms. He would probably skip Defense and Potions, though. He felt sore, and the quiet room seemed to spin around when he stood up. He reached out a hand to the wall to keep his balance, but quickly withdrew it when he realised the wounds on his hands would easily reopen.
The werewolf leaned on the wall and let himself fall on the cold floor. He looked down at his scarred hands. Mornings after the moon were always unbearable, but this one was particularly awful. The soreness in his veins, his exhausted magic, and his out of hand emotions were making him feel pathetic. A single tear left his eye, sliding down his hollowed cheek.
He sighed and stood up to face the mirror of the little bathroom. Well, it wasn’t a real bathroom, it was just a sink and a toilet, but the room had at least the bit of privacy he needed on days after full moons. He took support from the edges of the sink to not fall. Shitty moon.
Remus locked eyes with his pitfull reflection. Purple eye bags circled his light brown eyes, and he tilted closer to observe his new scars. Even if Madam Pomfrey had healed the majority of the wounds he had inflicted on himself the night prior, a few couldn’t be healed by magic anyway. Hopefully, his left cheek had been entirely regenerated and he only kept a single scar on his face. It began under his right eye and crossed his nose to finish at the extremity of his left cheek, under his ear. This one would probably not fade soon. It was becoming more and more difficult to find excuses to explain his growing number of scars. What would he say, this time ? He could have been scratched during his class of Care of the Magical Creatures… Or the explosion of a potion could have caused his face to itch a lot, so much that he had scratched himself to blood… He sighed heavily. He would just cast a glamour to hide his scar. It was not that big of a deal.
He quickly washed his face with water before dressing up, shivering from exhaustion and the cold. He winced when he realised he had let his bag in his dorm and would have to go take it before heading to the Astronomy Tower.
The lycanthrope discreetly left the Hospital Wing and headed to Gryffindor Tower. He whispered the password to the Fat Lady, and, watchful, he quickly crossed the common room and entered the staircase that led to the bedroom he shared with the Marauders. It was still very early in the morning, but he didn’t want to take any risks, so he cast a silencing spell on himself before entering the room. He rushed to his bed, grabbed his bag and sighed of relief when he exited the still sleepy Gryffindor common room. He hadn’t bumped into anyone during the whole process of getting his bag back, and he decided that it was the best thing that had happened to him this week.
He tried to arrange his hair on the way to the Astronomy Tower. He knew he was looking a bit shaggy with his messy and probably dirty uniform and his haggard looks, so he didn’t want to worsen his appearance with an atrocious hairstyle. His attempt to straighten his hair with his fingertips ended up making them look more bushy than fluffy, so he silently gave up with another tired sight.
He climbed the stairs to the top of the tower. It was only 5:30, so maybe he would catch the sunrise. He rushed into the circular room, relieved to find it empty. He threw his bag under a window, and sat slowly. His back was hurting more than it should, so he reached out to his bag to retrieve a vial of Painkilling Potion he had snicked out of the infirmary several months ago when he had been left alone after a full moon. He didn’t have the ingredients to brew it himself, nor did he have the money to buy them, so stealing the already prepared potion had been the best option for him. He didn’t like to steal, though. But he didn’t have a choice. What could he do against his nature ? He was a Dark Creature, classified XXXXX by the Ministry : he was a wizard killer, vicious, untamable and aggressive. But he felt human, even if he was not. The feeling was ripping him apart, it was so painful just to think of his own nature as something non-human, or at least non-wizard.
He winced as he drank the vial. The taste really was awful, but at least the potion relieved him of the pain and soreness he felt in his back. He turned to face the rising sun that was appearing behind the skyline. The clouds were progressively lighting up, going from a dark greyish colour to a lighter cream one.
Light footsteps resonated in the staircase, and he didn’t need to turn around to know the identity of the newcomer.
“Hi Remus,” he heard the soft voice of the girl say.
“Lily,” he greeted lazily. He didn’t look at his best friend, trying not to show her his wounded cheek.
She sat next to him, facing the now light sky with him. He felt her shiver from the cold of the room, so he retrieved his winter cloak from his bag (spelled with an Extension Charm) and put it on her shoulders.
“Why did you follow me ?” He dared to ask the young Prefect, even though he already knew the answer.
“I don’t want you to be lonely after the moon,” the redhead said. “I know you don’t want to worry the Marauders, and that you probably would come here to rest rather than in your bed or the Hospital Wing.” She paused to pick up the empty vial on the floor. “How did you get it ?” she asked. “You know I can ask Sev to brew some for you.”
Of course Lily could identify a random potion from a tiny drop at the very bottom of an empty vial.
“I know. But…” Remus hesitated. “Severus is a friend, but I don’t want to exploit him. I don’t want him to feel that our friendship is based on interests, and that I am using him. He doesn’t even know I am a werewolf.” he sighed.
“Really ? I thought you had told him when… Well, when the Shrieking Shack accident happened.”
“Dumbledore obliviated him. And besides the Headmaster, Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, no one is supposed to know about my… situation.”
“But you told the Marauders, no ? That’s why they led Sev to the Shrieking Shack in the first place, right ?” the redhead asked.
“I didn’t. They just thought it was a haunted house. I never told them it was me, an I plan on not letting them discover it.”
“But, Rem, I don’t understand…” Lily whispered, her glowy green eyes clouded with confusion. “Why did you tell me ? Dumbledore would have obliviated me a long time ago if he-”
She didn’t dare finish her sentence.
“I trust you, and I know you will never tell anyone. You are my best friend, Lily. And I would never let the Headmaster obliviate you, even if it meant leaving Hogwarts and never hearing of the magical world again.”
She turned to avoid his gaze. In the semi-darkness of the room, his acute werewolf vision let him see a slight blush spread on her already rosy cheeks.
“I will lend you my notes if you want to skip class,” Lily said, avoiding his eyes and changing not so subtly the subject. “I will have to make rounds this evening, so I won’t be able to give them to you directly. I can drop them off to James, if you want, or-”
“Lils,” interrupted Remus. “It’s okay. I can make the rounds with you,” he said, staring at the sky. “But.. thanks for being there for me.”
He couldn’t directly see the redhead blush, but he felt her heartbeat speed up. The wolf’s senses were very developed before and after the moon.
“It’s okay, Rem. I will always be with you,” she whispered. They looked at each other. They were polar opposites : she had shiny red hair and glowing green eyes that seemed to look into your soul. He had brown eyes, brown hair, and too many scars for a 17-year-old boy. She was extremely compassionate, serious, studious, solar, and kind. He was always angry, tired and skipped too many classes to be considered as serious, even if he always did well on his exams. Sometimes, he couldn’t understand why she had chosen him to be her best friend.
Remus didn’t know what Lily liked about him, and why she stayed with him. They knew each other since their first year and had grown inseparable. They spent a lot of time together, which made James a bit grumpy. But it was a complete mystery for him, why could someone as incredible as Lily stay with him, even after learning of his illness ?
“You mean a lot to me, Lils. You know that, right ?”
“It’s an honour.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey. You are cold.”
“So are you,” replied Remus, smirking.
Their eyes met, and the rising sun lit up the room. Lily’s hair seemed shinier than usual, her eyes were glowing more vividly, and she smiled at him. Right now, she was the most beautiful person he had ever looked at.
“I’m so lucky to have you.”
“Me too, Rem, me too. You have no idea.” she smiled.
They both turned to the sky, admiring the sun lighting up the treetops of the Forbidden Forest. Today will be another day.