Chapter 13
The Strawhat and the Heart Pirates all had met a nice girl name Conis, her pet cloud fox named Su, and Conis father Pagaya a couple days ago.
The Strawhat pirates and the Heart Pirates have been exploring and fucking around with each other, they were acting like a bunch of young adults on vacation with a butt load of money to spend.
Luffy had been discreetly watching Conis when the girl was around, and Luffy could tell the girl wanted to say something, but Luffy wasn’t gonna push the poor girl to say anything, she was just going to sit, or party, and wait for Conis to come to them, and it seemed that time was now.
That time was now because… they were all hanging out in Conis and Pagaya’s Beach house, really it was more like a small mansion cause goddamn, this house was big enough to fit both pirate crews, Plus, it’s already living their occupants comfortably. It was around noonish time when Conis finally spoke up, looking frazzled as she spoke about a place called the upper yard, something about sacred ground, something about the upper yard being where God lives, something about Skypiea being enrolled by the Almighty God, Enel, and how he was, or well she suggested, this the Almighty God, Enel was a very, very bad man.
The sitting room somehow everyone fit in, went eerily silent as Conis word vomited everything she knew about the upper yard, the Almighty God Enel, and the horrors of Skypiea's regime. Her words painted a picture of tyranny and fear, a stark contrast to the jovial atmosphere that had filled the air moments before.
The room stayed silent for a long time, The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall, and then Luffy let out one singular chuckle, it was a chuckle that sounded like it was on the brink of insanity or someone who just found out the most amusing thing to do, ever. Ace and Sabo looked at their sister in bewilderment, but Luffy just slowly stood up, tipping her straw hat slightly back. “Well, I think I just figured out what we are gonna do, huh? Who feels like fighting a God.”
Ace and Sabo both looked at each other, Ace had a grin that could make the sun jealous and Sabo had a look of excitement in his eyes that could light up the darkest night. “Fuck yes, we’re fighting a god?” Ace practically yelled it, his voice echoing through the room and bouncing off the walls.
Sabo rolled his eyes, and Zoro snorted, downing his drink before slamming the empty glass down on the coffee table in front of him. “Now that’s something I can get behind!” He exclaimed, flexing his muscles.
“LUFFY!” Usopp and Bepo practically shriek, looking at her in terror. “We cannot go and fight a God!” Bepo’s voice trembled, and Usopp nodded fervently, her eyes wide with fear.
Law laughed, a sound that was filled with amusement and excitement as he slapped the couch cushion beside him. “Well, if we’re fighting a god, I’m definitely not missing out!” His eyes gleamed with the same eager anticipation that Luffy’s did.
“Oh my God!” Usopp whaled, clutching her chest dramatically. “Are we seriously going to fight someone who can zap us with lightning at the snap of his fingers?”
“YES!” Luffy said dramatically, flipping her hair. “But hold on, i’ve got something to make this 100 times better on the Going Merry!” She practically yelled, turning on her heels and running out the balcony, jumping over the railing of the balcony and landing on the sandy-cloudy beach with a thump, before sprinting off towards the Going Merry.
“LUFFY! Please don’t make us fight a God!” Nami cried, running over to the balcony railing looking over the railing to Luffy, watching as she already made it to the Going Merry, disappearing into the girls’ quarters, just to appear a split second later but now with a wooden and glass box? A tank and another smaller box in hand.
Luffy reeled her arm back and shot it forward, her limb stretching and stretching until she grabbed the railing of the balcony and slingshotted herself back towards the group. She held the tank and smaller box with a grin plastered on her face. "Check this out!" she exclaimed, her voice echoing off the walls of the room as she landed back on the balcony.
Luffy scurried back inside, ignoring Nami’s protest and sat the tank and smaller box down on the coffee table. “I got this from my mom’s personal collection, they are used for when… Ahem, my mama’s assassins, Ahem!” She muttered and said ‘my mama’s assassins’ very quickly in a way that almost made it unintelligible. “Have a job to do!”
“DID YOU JUST SAY ASSASSINS!” Deuce exclaimed, his eyes wide with fear and surprise, his jaw dropping to the floor.
Luffy ignored him, breezing right over his shock. She reached into the tank and pulled out what looked like a green and purple baby Den Den Mushi. “Now, Me, Ace, Sabo, Robin, Law, Bepo, Penguin, Shachi, and Chopper already know what these are, we’ve grown up around them. But for everyone else you might say they look like baby Den Den’s, but they’re not! These are Munchkin Den Den Mushi’s. And basically what they do is… well, they can do everything a regular sized Den Den can do, but they’re small enough to be worn as communication headset devices.” She held the snail out in her hand, and with her free one opened the smaller box with a flick of her wrist, pulling out what looks like a black headband with notches to hook around your ears, and something that would be put into your ear, and two little oval square things on the sides at the same height as someone’s eyes. “They sit on these like this.” She used her thumb to flip open one of the oval square things, and sat the munchkin Den Den Mushi inside of it, clicking it closed. “You put one on each side and you will be able to talk to anyone else who has a device like this on in a 100,000 mile radius each way, and…” She paused for dramatic affect, wiggling her fingers. “If I, Ace, Sabo, and Robin do a little tweaking here and there with some stuff we got on the Going Merry we can broadcast us fighting a god to the whole entire world in the blue Sea, and nobody will be able to turn off our broadcast.”
Most of the two crews, plus Conis, Pagaya, and Su, stared at her, absolutely astonished and dumbfounded. “Luffy, where did you get these?” Nami finally managed to squeak out.
Robin chuckled, closing the book she was reading. “I’m guessing you took those from mother?” She asked Luffy, raising an eyebrow.
“Yep!” Luffy chirped, a mischievous glint in her dark brown eyes as she rubbed the shell of the Munchkin Den Den Mushi.
Law chuckled again and rolled his eyes, pushing himself forward on the couch to snatch one of the headpieces, and gently picking up two munchkin Den Den’s. “Let’s make sure this broadcast will work before we do anything, yeah?” He suggested, a hint of amusement in his tone as he set up the device.
Law flicked the tops of the oval-square little compartments Munchkin Den Den’s sit in open, gently placing them in there and closing the top with a satisfying click, the eyes of the snails sticking out of the top as he put the headpiece on. The headpiece rested on the back of his head as the smooth hooks of the device curled around his ears, holding it in place, and he put in the earpieces in each area. Leaning back into the couch slightly as he heard the snails start to purr, and after a long second the Den Den’s made a “click” noise and Law chuckled.
“Well, I’ll be damn, they work all the way up here, huh?” Law murmured, a smirk playing on his lips as he adjusted the headpiece.
Luffy squealed in delight and Bepo, Usopp, and Nami all but whaled, clinging onto each other like a mass murderer was on the other side of whatever door they were hiding behind. “LUFFY! You seriously can’t fight a God! HE’S! A! GOD!” Nami screamed, her voice rising in pitch.
Luffy waved her off, grabbing Law by the arm and pulling him up off the couch and over to the balcony, gesturing with her hand out to the sky city. “Look, world! Skypiea actually exists, and we’re gonna kick whoever this God of theirs is ass!”
Law couldn’t help but laugh at Luffy’s unbridled enthusiasm. “Careful now, Luffy. Let’s not start any fights before we even have a plan in place.” He said, his voice carrying a hint of a warning as he looked over at her.
Luffy rolled her eyes, turning away from the balcony, but not before pulling her hand back and slamming it forward, slapping Law on the ass so hard he jumped and yelped like a surprised puppy. "Come on, you know we don't need no stinkin' plan!" She said over her shoulder, her laughter echoing through the room.
Sanji’s jaw dropped, and it dropped for a different completely reason than the fact that they were about to fight God apparently. “Luffy-swon! That was not ladylike!” He scolded her, his eyes wide as saucers.
Ace, Sabo, and Monroe fake gagged as Penguin, and Shachi laughed their asses off. Luffy just turned around with a cheeky grin, sticking her tongue out at Sanji. "Oh, come on, Sanji," she said, her voice a mix of mischief and challenge. "We are pirates! We’re going to be unladylike!”
Sanji spluttered, and Conis and her father looked like they couldn’t decide to have a heart attack or laugh. Pagaya coughed into his hand, trying to hold in his laughter while maintaining his dignity. "Well, she's certainly got the spirit to fight God," he managed to say, his eyes sparkling with amusement.
Luffy winked at them, her hands on her hips. “NOW! LET’S! GET! THIS! PARTY! STARTED!” She yelled as she, surprisingly quickly, helped everyone, even the unwilling participants, put on the Munchkin Den Den Mushi’s with the Communication-Broadcast headset.
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(Also a good chunk of what I was writing about the Skypiea arc got deleted because my power went out in the middle of me writing it, and I couldn’t bring myself to rewrite it all so… a lot of it was just the same as a normal Skypiea arc just with more explicits and adult jokes and stuff like that)
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Zoro, Chopper, Robin, Nami, Penguin, and Shachi had ended up on the Going Merry, and much to the chagrin of the six occupants on the ship, the crab lobster thing that had brought them up to the sky Islands had snatched up the ship once more and brought them to what looked like a… sacrifice altar?
“I can’t believe that overgrown crustacean just dropped us off in the middle of nowhere!” Zoro complained, adjusting the Munchkin Den Den Mushi headpiece on his head.
“Does anybody know where we are?” Chopper asked, pulling himself up to stand on the railing and looking over the area they were in. They were seemingly in the middle of the upper yard’s jungle… somewhere.
“It looks like some sort of altar for sacrifices.” Robin mused, Walking up beside chopper and looking over the railing to look down at the giant altar, their ship had been placed on by the giant crab-lobster thing.
“Sweet.” Shachi chuckled as Nami screeched, “sacrifice altar!” Her eyes widened and her head snapped around to Robin, “Please tell me you’re joking, Robin!” She begged, her hands gripping the railing tightly as she stared down at the eerie structure below.
“Robin doesn’t joke around.” Penguin said with a smirk, crossing his arms as he looked over the edge with the same nonchalant attitude. “But I doubt we’re here for any sacrificial shenanigans, Nami. We’re more of a nuisance than a sacrifice to the gods.”
“That’s easy for you to say!” Nami retorted, her heart racing as she tried to keep her cool in front of her crewmates and allies. The altar was surrounded by ancient ruins, vines and moss creeping over the stones, giving the place an eerie vibe that even the most seasoned pirate would find unsettling, well, the alter itself sits in a giant… lake… of clouds with a Stream leading further into the forest.
“Nami, what’s a sacrifice?” Chopper asked, turning his head to look over his shoulder to Nami.
Nami blanked for a second before clearing her throat and speaking up. “Uhh?… well, you know. A sacrifice is an offering to the gods.”
“Oh, is that all? I thought it meant being boiled alive in a big stew or something…” Chopper said with a sigh of relief, his little hooves tapping together nervously.
“Actually, that’s about right…” Robin said dryly, her eyes scanning the ancient engravings on the stones around them. “But regardless on the method, the thing that is usually offered is generally someone’s life.” She continues with a serene smile, crossing her arms over her chest.
“AAAAAAH! ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE HERE!” Chopper’s eyes widened in horror as he stumbled backward, until he met the edge of the railing, tipping backwards and falling down the stairs of the altar towards the cloud water below.
“CHOPPER!” Nami screamed, her heart racing as the reindeer-human hybrid pirate tumbled down the stairs. She didn’t even have time to process the gravity of Robin’s words before she saw the panic in Chopper’s eyes.
“Dammit!” Zoro swore, jumping over the railing and chasing after Chopper as he uncontrollably rolled down the stairs. Just for Robin at the last second to use her devil fruit powers before he could fall into the water, a pair of arms appearing at the last step to catch Chopper.
“Jesus.” Penguin whispered, one of his hands coming to the top of his hat to keep it on as a breeze picked up through the jungle. He and Shachi looked over the railing to see Zoro catching up to Chopper. “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a live one, huh?”
Shachi snickered and Chopper gasped, yelling. “Don’t you dare make fun of me almost dying!” He pouted at Penguin, who chuckled in response.
“Christ on a stick!” Zoro yelled as a giant blue, black, red, and teal shark-like, snake-like, monster appeared out of the cloud water, going to snap its jaws around Chopper. “DAMMIT, CHOPPER!” Zoro yelled, pulling out his swords and deflecting the creature as Chopper all but bolted back up the altar stairs to the ship.
“OH, NO! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!” Nami screamed, her eyes wide with horror as the monstrous creature emerged from the misty cloud water. Her heart raced as she watched Zoro and the beast fall into the cloud water, disappearing into its depths.
“A shark… in the sky…” Robin said calmly as if she was recounting a mundane event from her morning routine.
“A sky shark.” Shachi corrected with a smirk, watching the scene unfold with amusement.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!” Chopper screamed bloody murder as he ran back up the altar steps, not looking back until he made it to the top. “ZORO! ZORO!” He screeched, looking about ready to burst into tears at the same time the shark-like monster jumped out of the water, trying to swallow Zoro, but Zoro kept the beast mouth open with his three katanas.
“Oh my God there he is! What if he gets swallowed?!” Chopper screeched as the beast dove back into the cloud water with a mighty splash, taking Zoro with it. His little hooves trembled as he climbed back onto the ship, his heart racing like it was trying to escape his chest.
The pirates on the ship stood still, waiting for any sign of life. “Wait?… why hasn’t he come back up?! Zoro please be okay!” Chopper’s voice was a mix of fear and desperation, echoing through the quiet jungle.
“You don’t think… he got eaten, do you?” Nami asked, her voice trembling as she clutched the railing of the ship. The sight of the monstrous shark-snake had sent chills down her spine, and the thought of Zoro being in its belly was too much to bear. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! ZORO’S FISH FOOD!” Chopper wailed, his panic reaching a new peak.
“If he had been eaten, the clouds would’ve turned red by now.” Penguin said, trying to ease the tension with a chuckle. His words didn’t quite have the desired effect as everyone’s eyes remained glued to the cloud water.
“How can you stay so calm at a time like this?!” Nami yelled, grabbing penguin by the front of his boiler suit and shaking him slightly. Her eyes were wide with terror, and her grip was so tight you could hear the fabric of the boilers uniform creaking. And as if on cue Zoro and the beast appeared out of the water again, The beast and Zoro appeared out of the water again not because Zoro used his swords on it, oh no, no. Zoro… punched… and knocked out the beast.
Zoro’s chest heaved as he climbed back onto the stairs of the alter, soaked to the bone in water and coughing as he climbed the steps. “I can tell you one thing… we are not gonna make it away from this altar by swimming.” He said, glaring at the creature laying unconscious before them.
“What type of swordsman punches a shark, instead of using his blade?” Nami asked, her demeanor instantly shifting into a dry tone as she let go of Penguin and put her hands on her hips, looking at Zoro with a dry slightly irritated expression. “Whatever happened to your precious swordsmans honor or code or whatever it’s called, huh?” She asked, watching as Zoro pulled off his water drenched shirt.
“What do… would you give it a rest for once?!” Zoro barked back at Nami, his teeth clenched as he wrung out his shirt, the water slapping wetly against the stone. “It’s not every day you get to throw down with a sea serpent, you know!” He granted, watching as at least thirteen more dorsal fins of the shark-snake beast things appeared in the cloud water, circling the altar.
“AAAH! There’s an entire school of them! What are we going to do?!” Chopper squealed, his voice pitching higher with every new dorsal fin that broke the surface.
“I’m not sure.” Zoro said casually, rolling his neck to pop it. “But if that first one was any indication we’re not gonna have any luck fighting them off.”
“We’ve got to do something, we can’t stay here forever.” Shachi rested his arms on the railing, pushing his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose as he watched each dorsal fin disappear and reappear.
“Tsk.” Zoro tsked, squeezing more water out of his shirt. “Leaving us here was that lobsters idea of a joke, it’s not very funny.”
“Maybe this is the heaven’s judgment we’ve been hearing so much about?” Penguin suggested, leaning over the railing slightly to get a better look at the menacing shadows beneath.
“Except you think this God would try something a little flashier, you know.” Zoro shrugged, tossing his shirt over the railing of the ship at the same time Nami appeared from wherever she disappeared, throwing a dark blue tank top at Zoro, the fabric landing on his head.
“Eh, couldn’t say, never met the guy.” Robin said as she hopped over the railing of the Going Merry to stand on the actual altar with Zoro.
Zoro shrugged, pulling the tank top off of his head and slipping it on, before looking over to the damaged ship. “I’m not sure what the solution is, but we definitely can’t set sail with the hull looking like this.” He slid the fabric of the shirt down his body, the dark blue tank top clinging to every curve and divot of his muscles. “Hey, Chopper, try to figure out a way to try to fix the ship.”
“Huh? M-me? Okay.” Chopper nervously nodded, looking over the railing of the Going Merry to the whole in the hull.
“Why should he?” Nami asked, crossing her arms over her chest and squinting at Zoro. “Are you going somewhere?”
“I’m going to find a way into the jungle.” Zoro said nonchalantly, his hand coming up to make sure the headpiece was still in place before his hand fell to his side. “We should probably make the altar our base of operation, you guys can keep a lookout if you want. I’m sure Luffy and the others are on their way here by now anyway. Like they say if you’re lost, you should stay where you’r at, right?” He said with a shrug.
“Shouldn’t that apply to you too?” Nami quipped, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied Zoro’s retreating form.
Robin rolled her eyes slightly and turned away from them, walking over to the back of the altar where a giant wall was with all types of carvings in. Penguin and Shachi chuckled and rolled their eyes, hopping over the railing of the Going Merry to follow Robin.
“Zoro, if you want to go into the jungle… well, I guess that’s okay with me. But you really haven’t told us what for?” Chopper looked up from his contemplation of the ship’s hull, his furry brows knitted together in concern.
“They’re supposed to be some sort of God on this island, I want to meet him.” Zoro said calmly, slowly coming to a stop and tilting his head, just enough to look over his shoulder.
“Wait! That’s a terrible idea, what are you actually gonna do when you find him?” Nami’s voice was tinged with both exasperation and fear as she watched Zoro.
Zoro smirked, an arrogant lilt to his voice. “I don’t know, depends on if he behaves himself.”
“Zoro, you’re the bravest person I know.” Chopper said wholeheartedly, nodded in respect. Nami on the other hand was not so amused. “And what are you gonna do when you find him? Are you going to beat up his priests too? Hello, the last thing we need is you pissing off a God, Zoro, that’s kind of not smart.” She crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently.
Zoro’s smirk grew as he looked over his shoulder fully, a chuckle escaping his lips. “By the time I’m done with him, this God, whoever he is, is gonna bow before me.” He said with a confidence that sent a shiver down Nami’s spine. It wasn’t just the absurdity of the statement, but the fact that he believed it so wholeheartedly that had her worrying.
Shachi let out a long, low, whistle before very loudly saying. “WOW! KINKY!” He clapped his hands together. “So you’re into that, huh, Zoro? You want to beat a god into submission and make him your love slave?”
And that got a lot of reactions, Penguin howled with laughter, Nami’s face flushed bright red, Chopper’s eyes widened, Robin blinked a few times, and even Zoro looked absolutely stunned.
“That’s not what I meant and you know that!” Zoro snapped back, his cheeks tinting a dark shade of red. “Remember this whole ordeal is being broadcast to the whole entire world, remember that before you say something like that!”
Penguin couldn’t help but let out a snort. “Oh come on, Zoro, lighten up! We all know you’re just as crazy as Luffy, maybe even more so. I mean, you are known as a demon. Plus, if you think about it, it’s kind of hot to think about taking on a god and making them submit to you.”
“Oh my God.” Nami muttered, walking away from the railing of the ship, her hand flying up to cover her face as she couldn’t believe the turn the conversation had taken. She’d heard some wild things in her life, but this had to be the most ludicrous. She couldn’t decide if she should be concerned or just let the absurdity of it all wash over her.
Chopper looked equally as shocked, his eyes wide as he stuttered out, “Y-you guys aren’t really thinking of doing that, right?” His voice was barely above a whisper, the gravity of what they were talking about seeming to weigh down on him. The idea of battling a god was terrifying, let alone turning them into a love slave.
“WHAT!? NO! WE’RE! NOT!” Zoro’s voice cracked as his head snapped to Chopper, at the same time Shachi said. “Nah, but it would be hot as fuck if we did!”
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Meanwhile, elsewhere into the upper yard Ace, and Deuce traveled through one of the cloud water streams, Milky Road, looking around. It was just the two of them on a small boat that could fit no more than four people as they traveled up the Milky Road. They were surrounded by giant cloud balls, the cloud balls floating around them as they slowly made their way up the Milky Road.
Ace frowned slightly, walking over to the edge of the boat and pulling out one of his guns, gently tapping the cloud ball with it. The cloud ball drifted away slightly before it popped, and a giant snake came out of it.
Both Ace and Deuce screeched, and without a second of hesitation Ace pulled the trigger, blowing the snakes brains out the back of its head. The snake fell into the Milky Road, its body disappearing into the depths of the cloud water as if it never existed. “Well, shit.” He murmured, “their goddamn snake eggs.”
Deuce gagged, covering his mouth with his hand. “Did you have to shoot it so close to the ship? Couldn’t you just let it fall into the water?”
“What if it tried to eat us?” Ace retorted, gripping his gun tightly and eyeing the cloud balls around.
“I do not like the idea of being surrounded by snake eggs.” Deuce grumbled, as he looked around the sky nervously.
“OH! HA! HA! Ho, ho hoooo! Silly children, these aren’t snake eggs, they're surprise clouds!” A high pitched, cheerful, man’s voice echoed through the jungle.
Both Ace and Deuce jumped slightly as the voice came back. “You never know what’s going to come out of them!” The voice chirped as a very obese man came to view sitting on one of the cloud balls, the ball spinning in circles with the man on top of it until it stopped a couple hundred feet in front of their ship, hovering a good bit over the Milky Road. “I’m so glad you picked my challenge! The ordeal of spear!” The man, which looked more like a dumpling, laughed, lacing his fingers together.
“… yeah, is that a talking dumpling?” Deuce asked, shifting slightly to face the man a tad more. “This guy is one of Enel’s Priests?”
Ace blinked and rubbed his eyes as the man started singing, standing up on the ball and jumping around and dancing on top of it. “Stop with the dancing, and tell us who you are!” He snapped, this shit was being broadcasted, they did not need a lunatic dancing and singing to the crowd below.
The man continued dancing around on top of the ball, cackling his weird Ho, ho hoooo laugh. "Oh, you want to know who I am? Well, I am the grand priest of the Ordeal of Spears, Satori! The great conductor of the ordeal of spear!" He threw his hands in the air dramatically, and the balls of clouds around him crackled with his enthusiasm. “But you should really start worrying about yourself more than who I am, you’ll have to beat me if you plan on going any further, and I really don’t see that happening! Ho, ho hoooo!” The man, Satori, said loudly and jumped off the ball towards the ship Ace and Deuce was on.
Ace’s annoyance grew, and he rubbed his face with the hand that was holding the gun, using the thenor of his hand to rub his eye. But it seems like the guy, Satori, wasn’t done yapping. “Ho, ho hoooo! Are one of you the person that stretches like rubber?” Satori asked, his smile widening like the Joker from Batman. “You know, I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to zap a rubber person with lightning! Think it would make—”
Satori was cut off by getting a bullet to the face, Ace had in one swift movement, dropped his hand to his side before lifting it again, barely aiming before pulling the trigger, a bullet wheezing through the air and hitting Satori, who was a good 60 maybe 70 feet away, right smack dab in between the eyes, his brains exploding out the back of his head.
The priest's body spasmed briefly, his smile froze in place, as he plummeted to the ground, his laughter trailing off into silence. The cloud balls surrounding the Milky Road flickered and vanished. Ace and Deuce stared at the fallen priest, stunned for a moment before Ace broke the silence. "Well, that was more anticlimactic than I thought it would be," he murmured, his dark brown eyes never leaving the corpse.
Deuce took a deep breath, the tension leaving his body. "Yeah, but at least we know we can beat these guys." He looked over at Ace, who was already turning to face the path ahead, his gun wielding hand swinging lazily at his side. "Let's go find the others. Maybe they're having as much fun as we are," he said with a smirk, walking over to the helm and steering the small ship they were on.
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Meanwhile, all the way back into the blue sea far away from the Sky Islands, Red-Hair Shanks was ugly choking on this sip of sake he had just taken. He and his crew were all piled up on the deck of the Red Force, watching the broadcast the Strawhat and Heart Pirates were somehow pulling off. And from what Shanks has heard it’s being broadcast worldwide and nothing, not even the government higher-ups can shut off the signal. They've tried, oh they've tried, but it's like the signal was coming from the heavens themselves. The sheer power behind the broadcast was unheard of, it was like nothing he had ever seen before. And it wasn’t just one broadcast, the screens or Den Den Mushi’s broadcasting the broadcast was showing at least 24 different scenes showing, all organized in square, all lined up in a grid, one screen for each Strawhat and Heart pirates and two other people, Skypieans, that no one recognizes. He knew Luffy was smart, but this? This was something else entirely.
But that’s not why Shanks is ugly choking, he’s choking because he’s equal parts horrified and utterly amused. On the screens the Strawhat and Heart pirates are running around like a bunch of headless chickens, they’re running around like a bunch of headless chickens with the power of A rank pirates! It’s a fucking mess, and it’s a mess that’s spreading like wildfire across the whole goddamn world. Shanks had seen his fair share of battles, but this? This was a fucking circus.
They weren’t even acting like pirates, they were acting like a bunch of teenagers at a frat party and the cops decided to crash it, except the cops were giant snake-monsters and the frat house was a floating island in the sky. Shanks wiped a tear from his eye, trying to stifle his laughter. This was going to be legendary, and Luffy had the gall to do it all before she was even 20.
“OH! SHIT!” Yasopp cringed slightly as he watched Ace's den-den mushi screen as he shot some guy in the head. “That’s my boy!” He slapped his hand over his mouth to smother a grin. “I can’t believe he’s going around doing this kind of shit already!”
Yasopp’s words echoed across the ship’s deck, where the rest of the Red Hair Pirates were gathered around the ships den-den mushi, broadcasting the chaos unfolding in Skypiea.
“Look at him go, just like his mother!” Bonk Punch chuckled, his deep belly laugh shaking the very timbers of their ship. “Fearless, just like her!”
“Fearless my ass, the kid just screamed like a schoolgirl when he saw a snake.” Beckman said, sipping his rum, his eyes glinting with amusement.
“Dude, you would scream too if you had a 20 foot snake lunging towards you!” Lucky Roux retorted, nudging Beckman playfully.
Shanks chuckled, watching as Ace and Deuce navigated through the Milky Road. The sheer absurdity of the scene made him feel a strange sense of pride. Despite their age, the young pirates had already proven themselves to be formidable and fearless… and goddamn entertaining.
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Meanwhile, back on the sky Islands far away from the blue Sea, all the way up in the upper yard in the gods castle, in God Enel’s thrown room.
“I hope one of them kill you, Enel.” Shi’s voice growled in Enel’s head, saying Enel’s name with such contempt that it made him flinch. “You are not the one I chose for my power, you are not the other half of my soul!”
Enel smirked, stroking his chin with a lazy finger. “And yet here we are, aren’t we, Shi?” He turned his head slightly, looking over the edge of the throne and out the massive windows that looked out over Skypiea. The Islands were a sprawling mess of white. “You seem to have forgotten that I am the one in control here, not you. If anything, you should be thanking me for giving you a body to inhabit. Without me, you’d be nothing more than a worthless fruit in the hands of the humans below us. Now, tell me, what is so amusing about these pirates that you find them entertaining?”
Enel shivered and recoiled as he felt massive, cold, claude, staticky, electrified hands, that didn’t exist, grab the sides of his face, and yanked his head forwards. “My goddesses vessel is out there.” Shi murmured, his voice low, like the rolling of thunder and lightning.
Enel could physically almost make out an outline of a face, a body. Crystal blue eyes speckled with blood red that look like they belonged to the depths of hell from the most demonic of demons, long blonde unruly hair fell around the figure's body, pulling around its feet, and a surprisingly well kept goatee on Shi’s chin. From the creature's jaw line all the way down to Shi’s belly button and elbows skin was the deepest, darkest, inkiest black Enel had ever seen in his life, the rest of the skin from the creature's elbows and belly button faded from that black into a more natural pale skin tone. The black parts of Shi’s body had symbols of a forgotten ancient language in a dark-copper red color. The symbols look smudged and they’re runny like they’ve been wet, but they’re completely dry on Shi’s body. From Shi’s hairline all the way down and past his eyes slightly it’s all black fading into his pale skin tone with strips of iridescent white coming from his eyes that look like tears, but they’re not tears, they seemed to be permanently attached to Shi’s skin. His fingers were black, the black fading to his pale skin tone the closer he got to his palm, with long pointed sharp black claws. And right in the middle of his forehead from his hairline to the bridge of his nose is white writing in the same forgotten language that is written all over Shi’s body.
“You are not my vessel.” Shi spat, his voice filled with contempt. “You are not the one I chose to carry me.”
Enel’s smirk grew colder as he looked Shi dead in the eyes. His eyes, a piercing grayish-blue, narrowed as he stared down the god of Fear And Death. “And yet, here you are, trapped in me. I am your master, not the other way around!”
“I could make you mad, I could break your mind peace by peace, I could send you into insanity, make you feel pain like you never felt before, and make you beg for death!” Shi’s voice grew darker, the air in the room crackling with tension.
Enel’s smile didn’t waver. “And yet, you choose to sit silently, whispering threats. You're all talk and no action, just like the pathetic god you once were!”
Shi’s eye twitched, and his hands tightened on Enel’s face just a smidge. And just a second later white hot, blinding, ear ringing pain shot through Enel’s entire being. He felt like his very soul was being ripped apart. He screamed in agony, his body going taut. The pain was unlike anything he had ever felt before.
As suddenly as it had come, it was gone. Enel gasped, collapsing back into his throne, his eyes wide with shock and fear. Shi’s voice was the only thing he could hear. “Do not forget your place. I may be trapped, but I am still more powerful than you can ever wish to be. I am the god of Fear And Death, not some toy for you to play with. And you should remember that was not my full power, that was just a little… taste test… you could say.”
The room grew quiet again, the only sound Enel’s ragged breaths. His skin was slick with sweat, his heart racing. He had never felt such pain before. He knew Shi wasn’t just any god, he was the god of Fear and Death and the realization that he could be so easily bested was unsettling.