If I Kiss You I’m Sorry

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/M
G
If I Kiss You I’m Sorry
Summary
A miscommunication at a party leads to James asking Y/N to be his girlfriend, and the two quickly find themselves going from strangers to lovers. The only problem is, it’s all fake…until it isn’t.
Note
This takes place in seventh year! Also Y/N is like…the IT GIRL of Hogwarts bc every fake dating au i read, it’s always reader who falls first/is down bad over James which like I GET IT but when is it our turn to have guys thirsting and throwing themselves at us??
All Chapters Forward

Part Two

The following morning, James is in the Great Hall eating breakfast when he’s joined by the rest of the Marauders.

“Is it true?” Sirius asks the second he sits down.

“Good morning to you too,” James says sarcastically, taking a bite of his toast.

“Good morning,” Sirius says with a roll of his eyes, pouring himself some coffee. “So? Is. It. True?”

“Is what true?” James asks with a sigh.

His attention is briefly diverted when he sees you walking into the Great Hall. Gone is your mini skirt and blouse from last night. Instead, you’re wearing flared jeans with a ringer tee and a comfy pair of sneakers. Your face is free of any make up and your hair is in loose, slightly messed up curls; no doubt from the night before. You look cute, he thinks to himself with a smile.

James watches you walk past, not even sparing him and his friends a glance, and make your way to your friend group. You wave in greeting with a sleepy smile on your face, covering a yawn as you pour yourself some juice. You fill your plate with food and start eating, propping your head on your hand and chewing with your eyes closed, evidently still tired and wanting to be in bed.

“Connor said he caught you snogging some bird last night.” Sirius says.

James feels a blush taking over his face and looks down when he sees Sirius’s eyes light up.

“Wait, really?” he asks excitedly. “Who was it?”

“It wasn’t like that,” James denies with a shake of his head.

“What was it like?” Sirius asks, “Tongue? No tongue? Little bit of a hand-“

“No!” James cuts him off, embarrassed. Remus snorts before taking a sip of his tea, finding the whole thing incredibly amusing.

“Just tell us, mate!” Sirius groans.

Sighing, James looks around, making sure nobody would overhear before he leans closer to his friends.

“It was Y/N-“ he says, only to be cut off by a loud gasp.

“You lucky son of a bitch,” Sirius says, “I’m equal parts impressed and jealous.”

“You are?” Peter asks, looking up from his food.

“Peter, have you seen her?” Sirius asks, stealing a piece of bacon from his plate. “She’s fucking fit! So? How was it?”

“It honestly wasn’t like that,” James tells him again. “We crossed paths when I was doing my rounds. She was trying to hide from Connor and kissed me.”

“There’s no better place to hide than in someone’s mouth,” Sirius agrees, causing Remus to roll his eyes.

“How was the kiss?” Peter pipes up.

“Honestly? It was great.” James confesses, with flaming cheeks. “She’s a great kisser. I was caught off guard by the whole thing, so I didn’t really kiss her back, I just kinda stood there and let it happen.”

“You sure it didn’t have anything to do with the fact that that was your first kiss?” Remus asks him, much to the amusement of Peter and Sirius.

“Oi! What are you laughing at?” James asks Peter, shoving him lightly. “You haven’t kissed anyone either.”

“So much for having Evans be your first.” Remus mutters with a chuckle.

“Okay and then?” Sirius asks. “What happened afterwards?”

“Nothing. She apologized for kissing me and ran-“ He’s cut off by Sirius’ loud laughter. “Not from me! You tosser. I told Connor she was headed to the kitchens, so she made a run for the common room before he figured out she wasn’t there.”

“Oh, so she wasn’t running from your horrible kisses?” Sirius wheezes.

“I’m telling you, mate. That Connor bloke is relentless. She literally left the party early because he wouldn’t leave her alone. I felt bad for her.”

“You never feel bad for me,” Sirius scoffs.

“That’s because you love the attention Pads. You live for it.” James tells him before glancing at you. “But Y/N’s different. I don’t think she likes having all those eyes on her.”

“Oh come off it.” Sirius says with a roll of his eyes. “You have one conversation with the girl and suddenly you think you know her. Give me a break.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.” James answers harshly, getting annoyed with his friend.

“Then what are you saying?” Sirius asks, staring at James inquisitively. Not that he notices, he’s too busy looking at you.

James watches from a distance as Michael, a Slytherin, plops himself down in the seat right next to you. You and your friends give him a smile, not wanting to be rude, before sharing a confused glance amongst each other. Michael then boldly throws his arm around your shoulders and pulls you into him as he tries to tell you something.

You flinch the tiniest bit and pull away, putting some distance between you two. When Michael tries to grab your hand, you quickly use it to fix your hair, shooting him what you hope is a clueless smile. Having had enough, your friends make up an excuse and you all leave the table, leaving Michael sitting there on his own.

“Can you believe him?” One of your friends, Sarah asks as you make your way towards the door.

“I know,” Maddie, your other friend says with a shake of her head. “He’s such a creep!”

“If he does something like that again, I won’t hesitate to pull my wand out.” Kiara announces, causing you all to cheer in agreement.

James watches you leave with a frown before finally turning back to his friends, only to find them all staring at him.

“What?” he asks in confusion.

“Mate, I’ve only been calling you for the past ten minutes.” Sirius says with a chuckle.

“That’s an over exaggeration.” James denies with a roll of his eyes.

“What were you looking at?”

“Nothing.” James answers a little too quickly.

“Really?” Sirius continues to press. “Because I could’ve sworn you were looking at Y/N just now.”

James freezes at having been caught.

“My, my.” Sirius teases with a smile. “What do you know, gentlemen. It seems that James has gone and got himself a little girlfriend.”

“Potter? A girlfriend?” Lily asks, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

“What’s the matter, love? Jealous?” Sirius asks, smirking at her.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Lily scoffs with a roll of her eyes. “No one would be stupid enough to get involved with a toe rag like him.”

“Funny you should say that,” Sirius shoots back. “Did you know that last night James and Y/-“

“I thought we were going to Hogsmeade.” James interrupts, already standing from the table. “Let’s go.”

“Prongs, what the hell?” Sirius asks as they make their way out of the castle. “I was defending your honor!”

“I don’t need you to defend me, Padfoot. Especially if you’re gonna throw Y/N under the bus like that.”

“Why do you even care?” Peter asks curiously.

“Because it’s not right.” James says with a shake of his head. “What happened last night was just a…misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding.” Remus repeats skeptically.

“Yeah!” James confirms with a nod. “And I don’t really need people talking about it like it’s some…thing. Because it isn’t.”

“It’s a misunderstanding.” Peter repeats with a confused nod.

“Exactly! See? Wormtail gets it.”

“I really don’t.” Peter denies with a defeated shake of his head. James sighs in exasperation.

“I don’t really mind people talking about me and some mystery girl. But I don’t think Y/N would like having everyone gossiping about her behind her back over-“

“-A misunderstanding.” Remus finishes for him.

“Yes. So if we could all keep Y/N’s identity hidden, I’d really appreciate it.”

Everyone nods their heads in agreement as they make their way down the dirt path.

“Why were you gonna blab to Evans anyway?” Remus asks, looking over at Sirius.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Sirius asks, eyes lighting up mischievously. “Because she was jealous!”

“What?” James asks, tripping over his own two feet and stumbling into Peter. “She was jealous? How do you know?”

“Did you see how mad she got when I said you had a girlfriend?”

“Isn’t she always mad whenever James is around?” Peter asks.

“No, she’s actually been, dare I say, pleasant to him since the start of the year.” Remus adds.

“This is true, but the second I mentioned the possibility of another girl…” Sirius continues.

“That doesn’t mean anything.” James shakes his head.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The boys visit a few shops before going to Hogs Head for some food.

“Potter, you dog.” A Hufflepuff says in greeting as soon as he sits down.

“Sorry?” James asks with a confused smile. Who the hell is this guy?

“I heard you were caught snogging some bird last night at the party.” he informs him with a smirk.

“Oh…yeah…” James trails off awkwardly.

“Didn’t think you had it in you.” The boy says, patting James on the back. “So? Come on, spill the beans. Who was it?”

“Lily! Our food just got here, where are you going?” Dorcas calls.

James looks up only to see Lily grabbing her things. When he catches her eye, she stares at him for only a moment before looking away with a huff.

“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. I’ll see you girls back in the dorm.” she says before turning and making her way out of the building.

James gives his friends a confused look and Sirius simply raises his eyebrows at him.

“Told you.” he sings, stealing a fry off of Marlene’s plate when she wasn’t looking.

“Potter!”

Startled, James turns his attention back to the boy in front of him.

“The girl.” he repeats, “Who was it?”

“Um…”

“Jeremy, you little gossip fiend.” Sirius jumps in. “You know a gentleman never kisses and tells.”

Jeremy nods his head with a chuckle before something outside the window catches his eye.

James turns his gaze to the window and sees you standing outside with your friends, one of them crouched down as they tie their shoelace.

“Well, catch you guys later!” Jeremy says before running out the door.

“Bet you five galleons he’s going to talk to Y/N.” Sirius says to the group.

“That’s a stupid bet.” Remus answers. “Of course he’s going to talk to her.”

Just as predicted, Jeremy approaches you and your friends. James watches as you again, smile politely at the newcomer. Jeremy asks something and you shake your head.

“What do you think he’s saying?” Peter asks.

“He pointed to her bag. He’s probably asking if he can carry it for her or something.” Remus guesses.

“But it doesn’t weigh anything.” Peter says. “That’s stupid.”

James, Peter, Remus and Sirius all watch as Jeremy continues to pester you and you continue to shake your head. Eventually, he just rips the bag from your hands and starts walking back towards Hogwarts. You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh in exasperation. You share a look with your friends before following after him.

“Unbelievable.” Remus says, taking a sip of his tea.

“What a dick.” Sirius scoffs.

“I think she should just hurry up and get a boyfriend.” Peter says.

When he looks up from his food and finds all eyes on him, he shrinks into his seat.

“Why?” James asks.

“Well because then all the guys would leave her alone.” Peter shrugs.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

The whole walk back to the castle, James’ thoughts are racing.

“…Didn’t I tell you to leave me alone…”

“…She’s jealous...”

“…I liked it better when I was invisible…”

“…I’ve suddenly lost my appetite…”

“…All the guys would leave her alone...”

“James!”

“Yeah?” he asks, snapping out of the daze he was in.

“Are you alright?” Sirius asks.

James takes in his surroundings and realizes they’re already back at the castle.

“Yeah…just thinking about something.”

“Anything we can do to help?” Remus asks, looking at him in concern.

“No, it’s fine. There’s just something I have to do really quickly. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

James walks away from his friends and pulls out the Marauder’s Map, scanning the page until he finds your name.

You’ve only just sat down under a tree with your friends when your friend grabs your attention.

“Y/N…is that for you?” Sarah asks, nodding her head to the side.

Confused, you look in the direction she’s pointing and see James waving his arms back and forth, clearly trying to get someone’s attention. You look around but don’t see any of his friends nearby. Brows furrowed in confusion, you turn to him again. Your confusion only grows when you lock eyes with him and he starts waving even more.

James waves his arms three more times, for good measure, before pointing to you and then pointing to a nearby alcove.

“Huh. I suppose so.” you answer as you get up and dust yourself off.

“James Potter? You’ve never even spoken a word to him! What could he possibly want from you?” Maddie asks curiously.

“That’s what I’m going to find out.” you tell them with a shrug.

“Be sure to fill us in!” Maddie calls after you.

“Hello?” you call out as you slowly make your way into the secluded seating area, taking in the surrounding trees and bushes that provide shade and privacy. “James?”

“Hey!” he calls, turning a corner and coming to a stop right in front of you. “Funny running into you here.”

“You…told me to follow you…” you trail off, laughing nervously.

“Alright, you got me.” James admits, “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” you nod at him with a kind, confused smile. “What is it?”

“Go out with me.”

Forward
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