“Dazai Osamu?” Regulus asks, striding up next to the tall boy on the bridge. “Tokyo Bridge, 4:00 P.M, June 28th, 1979?”
He turns and looks at Regulus, his eyes dancing with a flicker of excitement and danger. Almost shocked but calm and collected, like he can’t be bothered with more emotion.
“That’s me. I take it, you saw my ad?”
“It isn’t every day that you see an ad with someone looking for a double suicide partner. It’s unique. And honestly, what’s the worst thing that can happen if I show up. You kill me?”
Dazai chuckles but Regulus doesn’t smile back at him.
“So then it was a real ad.” He makes a small sound and nods. “Well then, I’ll bite. Where did this idea come from, anyways? Why a double and not by yourself?”
“Nope,” Dazai responds, turning away from the other boy. “You go first. Come on, if we’re commiting double suicide together then you at least owe me your story. How’d you get here?”
“I don’t owe you anything.” Regulus grits his teeth, looking down at the bridge and the water below. “I barely even know you.”
“Yet you came to die with me so at least tell me why. What made your life so worthless that you don’t want to live it anymore?”
It’s a tease, poking the bear and it works.
“It’s not worthless, it’s so I won’t ever hurt anyone again,” Regulus snaps back and Dazai grins, enthralled by this new information.
“Do tell.”
The two boys glare at each other, ice-cold souls finally meeting a match. Grey eyes meet brown ones, flashing unwaveringly as they refuse to break.
“You’d never believe me,” Regulus finally states, still not looking away.
“Try.” Dazai challenges him and they stare, relentlessly as they wait in silence.
“I’ll tell you about myself once I tell you about your life,” Regulus responds, blankly. “You grew up in an abusive childhood. Alone, probably abandoned throughout your lifetime and you created a personality of dry sarcasm and humour along with witty comments to hide your insecurity about yourself because you never learned how to grow up and actually deal with your emotions.”
Dazai finally blinks, surprised, and Regulus smirks, slightly.
“Well then, if you guessed all that about me then you must’ve grown up the same.”
They’ve hit another stalemate and slowly, Regulus gives in.
“I’m the heir to the richest and most infamous family in all of Britain,” he begins, his slow words catching Dazai’s attention. “Though I wasn’t always. I had an older brother. Sirius.”
“Had? Is he dead now?” Dazai interrupts and Regulus shoots him a glare that could cut through diamond but he takes it like it’s nothing.
“To me, at least,” he responds in lieu of a real answer. “We grew up close, he protected me from our abusive parents and took care of me when I got sick. But then he went off to school and went from mischievous to… rebellious. Lashing out, defying our parents and he was fearless, even when every day ended with a broken bone or a bleeding nose, he kept fighting back. When he was fifteen and I was fourteen, he had enough of the abuse. He ran away and…”
Regulus trails off and Dazai attempts to fill in the blank.
“Did he leave you behind?”
“No.” The response is instantaneous and sharp, lined with glass and defence. “I-I stayed behind. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was to protect him, I don’t know. But he left and I stayed. I took his place, I was the perfect heir and he… he was free.”
“Was it worth it?” Dazai asks him and Regulus lets out a sharp breath.
“Yes.”
There’s no explanation, no more words about Sirius, nothing, just silence.
“Your names are stupid,” Dazai finally says, diverting the topic because, of course he does, and Regulus rolls his eyes.
“You’re just uncultured. We’re named after stars. It’s a family tradition. Anyways, what kind of name is Dazai, even? At least I have a meaning to my name.”
“It’s still better than Regulus. A star, are you kidding me? That’s just ridiculous.”
“You haven’t heard my full name then.”
Dazai blinks for a moment.
“Tell me,” he says, sitting up straight as he lights up in excitement.
“Absolutely not.”
“Come on, Regulus. Reggie. Reg. Re-”
“I’d advise you to shut your mouth before I hex you to death,” Regulus warns him but Dazai only laughs.
“Oh no, magic!” he mocks. “So scary. You need literal sticks of wood to use your magic. I don’t need anything and besides, one touch and your ‘magic’ would be gone. Besides, I put out an ad about suicide, I’m not exactly scared.
‘I swear to Merlin and Morgana both, if you don’t shut your mouth-”
“What’s the matter, Reggie?” Dazai taunts as he whips a hand out to grab Regulus’ wrist which is gripping his wand like he’s about to attempt to curse the other boy. “You don’t like that name?”
Regulus doesn’t take his warning and attempts to send a Stinging Hex at him but nothing comes out of his wand and Dazai smirks.
“I told you, Reg, my special ability is taking away other people’s powers. You can’t fight me.”
Scowling, Regulus rips his arm away from Dazai and shoves his wand into his pocket.
“Don’t call me that,” he snaps.
“Tell me your full name and I’ll call you that instead.”
“Salazar, could you possibly be more annoyin-”
“Reggie, Reg, Regulululululs-”
“Okay, fine, just stop!” Regulus grits out as Dazai, grins, triumphantly. “My full name is Lord Regulus Arcturus Black.”
Dazai blinks.
“The Second. Head of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”
For a second it’s silent and then Dazai proceeds to fall over (not into the river, onto the bridge) absolutely cackling with laughter.
“Shut it,” Regulus warns but he doesn’t stop.
“That is the most- '' he gasps for breath, “-pretentious, ridiculous, over-the-top name I’ve ever heard. In my entire life. Your parents must really hate you.”
“Was it the name or the abuse that told you that?”
This sets Dazai off even further and Regulus crosses his arms, glaring at him.
“If you don’t stop laughing then I’m going to throw myself off this bridge without you and you’ll have to wait to find someone else to commit double suicide with,” Regulus threatens and Dazai pauses.
“No you wouldn’t.”
“Yes I would.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I will.”
Regulus makes a move towards the edge of the bridge and Dazai snatches his wrist again, but he pulls away.
“Fine, fine. What other brilliant observations do you have about me, then? Come on, we’re going to die anyways, give it to me,” Dazai questions and Regulus sighs but he’s passed caring.
“You have scars,” he responds, blankly. “Otherwise, there’s no reason that you’re wearing that trenchcoat and long pants, plus you have bandages across your arms and neck. It’s to hide them.”
“You don’t get to talk, you’re wearing black and your arm is covered too,” he retorts but it lacks a bit of his normal bite.
Regulus says nothing but his silence speaks a thousand words. It takes a moment, a couple of heartbeats before they react.
Dazai slowly reaches down and carefully starts to unwrap the soft bandages around his forearms. Scattered across his skin are deep burns, old and faded but they’re dark. Regulus recognises it because Sirius has one, just one, across his leg but Dazai has seemingly dozens. Someone took something hot, a fire poker or something similar, and held it to his skin.
They don’t speak as Regulus rolls back his own sleeve, wordlessly removing the wrap around his Mark and showing the ink on his skin.
“I don’t have many scars, at least not physically, but that’s magic for you, isn’t it?” he asks, gruffly. “It means your parents can get away with anything. All I have is a Mark from joining what’s pretty much a cult.”
The two don’t speak, teeth gritted as they slowly strip away the defences that they’ve created around themselves for safety. Moments of vulnerability.
“I grew up in the mafia.” Dazai carefully diverts the topic. “That’s what the scars are from. Growing up… it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t kind.”
Regulus snorts.
“Tell me about it.”
Managing a thin smile, Dazai continues. “It was all I was seemingly good for. I was cold-blooded and it was easy… not to kill just to… do something I was good at for once in my life.”
There’s a slight moment of hesitation and Regulus waits.
“It wasn’t just my special ability. It was like I was born to join them. I didn’t care about the fact that I could die. I didn’t flinch when someone died or I killed someone. Not that I didn’t care, just that…”
“You didn’t know how to,” Regulus finishes and he nods.
“And then I went on a mission and met a boy. He was powerful, I’ll give him that, but nothing I couldn’t beat. We fought endlessly and then… Well then we became more than just partners and friends.”
He waits, watching Regulus’ expression which is blank and slightly worrying.
“Of course you’re queer too. Isn’t that just the life of our abused, abandoned selves?” Regulus asks and Dazai lets out a chuckle at this. “So what’s his name?”
It takes a moment, a singular heartbeat, and then, “Chuuya.”
Dazai says it on an exhale like it’s a breath of fresh air and he’s been struggling to breathe. For a moment, he looks peaceful and soft before his mask comes up again.
“He’s a shortstack. Fiery red-head with a sharp temper and one of the strongest special abilities I’ve worked with.”
There’s no kindness left in his gaze, nothing soft or sweet anymore, like he’s sharpening himself up again, laced with danger.
“Sometimes his special ability would get out of control. He was dangerous and deadly but lacked the power to always win. Chuuya was destruction and I was the one to stop him before he went too far.”
“Destruction and the safety net behind it.” Regulus shakes his head but he smiles, although it lacks warmth. “I was a star. He was the sun.”
Dazai turns, intrigued.
“The sun? That’s a new one.”
“He was, though. He was bright and warm and everyone liked him. He could’ve had anyone he ever wanted but he picked me.” His gaze darkens. “Until he didn’t. I was picking the wrong path, he told me. I was scared and I took this Mark-” he raises his arm ,“-and I hurt people. So we were done. I went to the darkness and he chose light.”
Regulus blinks harshly, looking away and Dazai sighs.
“Chuuya stayed with the Port Mafia for me. I tried to get him to leave with me but he wouldn’t so I left for the Agency.”
“Darkness, light, there’s no point. Look at us, we’re in the same place at the end of the day,” Regulus responds, hollowly. “About to jump off a bridge together with no boyfriend in sight.”
“What was his name?” Dazai asks him, curiously.
Regulus does not respond to this, his gaze hardening over the water, refusing to answer. Dazai begins to play with his hair that hands just over his ear, bothering him relentlessly.
“Come on, Reg, you’ve got nothing to hide.”
It takes a moment before Regulus finally gives in.
“Mine was James,” he admits. “He was my brother’s best friend.”
Dazai snorts.
“Following tropes, now are we?”
“Says the guy who’s first interaction with his boyfriend was trying to murder each other, followed by becoming work partners,” Regulus retorts, dryly.
“Touchè.”
With a smirk, Dazai takes a small bow.
“I never thought I’d find someone to meet my sarcasm level but here I am,” he declares. “Good to meet you, Lord Regulus Arcturus Black the Second, heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.”
He finishes Regulus’ full title and the other boy rolls his eyes but he turns to stare at the water, his elbows resting on the rail of the bridge and he sighs.
“Well, this has been enough of a therapy session, are we doing this or what?” he asks and Dazai smirks.
“I never thought I’d hear that from anyone but me.”
Dazai stands at the edge of the bridge and looks down at the water. He flashes Regulus with a sharp grin and gives him a quick wink.
“You won’t bail on me, now would you?”
In response, Regulus raises an eyebrow and then takes a step forward, one foot hanging off the bridge. A grin spreads across Dazai’s face and he takes another short bow at Regulus.
“It’s been a pleasure, Regulus Arcturus Black,” he says, gracefully.
“You as well, Dazai Osamu,” Regulus responds, dipping his head in respect as he stands next to him.
Without another word, the two fall.
They hit the surface with a sharp, splashing noise and sink.
One moment they’re above the water.
The next, they’re underneath it.
Dead.
Drowned.
Gone.
Forever.