Chapter 5
Hermione POV
THREE DAYS LATER
The last few days have been… weird. Harry ended up leaving Hogwarts. Going home to Grimmauld for a few days at his mind healer’s recommendation. He owled me to let me know, saying he was sorry. He sent me flowers.. orchids, my favorite. I don’t know why he had an attack. His last one being a few months ago that I know of. It was like a damn broke inside of him after the final battle. Like every worry, every fear, every horrible memory overwhelmed him and he broke down. It was terrifying to witness. He thankfully got better after a few sessions with Ms. Cathy, but I guess they still affect him more than I realized. I myself spiraled out of control when I received his letter. Not nearly as bad but enough to throw up a silencio around my bed so I could cry in peace.
I was afraid he panicked because of what I did. In the moment it had felt right. I just thought maybe we were something.. more. I determined he freaked out because he didn’t want to lose me. Lose my friendship. It stung to think about. He probably felt guilty for what we did. Ginny would be devastated if she found out. I understand why he would panic. The idea of losing Ginny had probably killed him and then also his delusion of losing me as a friend. That would never happen. No matter what. I will be here. Even if the rejection stings and my heart aches painfully at the thought.
Ron owled me yesterday saying he would pop by for a visit tomorrow. I just hope everything will be right again. I sigh, gathering my things from my table in the library. It’s getting late and Ron will be here in the morning.
I wake up to the suns rays streaming through the curtains of my bed. Yawning as I walk to the showers. I scrub every orifice of skin. Feeling greasy from days without a proper shower. I’d been too depressed to attempt to care about my appearance.
I finish my hair routine, my curls less bushy and tamed into ringlets. Then change into my school-issued skirt and a black v-neck jumper, tucking my wand into my robes. Ron said he would meet us for breakfast in the Great Hall. I feel bad about Harry being gone but I’ll just give him some excuse or another.
Strolling through the doors of the Great Hall, the smell of bacon makes my mouth water. Everyone is already seated, eating their meals, and enjoying quiet conversation. I see Ron immediately and grin despite my sour mood. He jumps up, closing the short distance between us, and pulls me in for a hug, squeezing me tight.
“Hermione!! I’ve missed you so much! What took you so long?! Me and Harry have been waiting for you for ages.” My body tenses, eyes growing wide.
“Harry? He’s here?”
Ron pulls away, nodding. “Yeah! Told me he left for a few days but he got back this morning! Come sit!”
My heart drops into my stomach. Oh boy. How do I act? What do I say? It’s just Harry. I mean. Get it together Granger. I hold my chin high and move toward the table. Ron motions for me to sit across from him, next to Harry. I hesitate, eyeing Harry warily. His back is to me, but I can see the tension in his shoulders. Ron frowns, glancing between us.
“Alright ‘mione?”
I clear my throat, throwing my leg over the bench. “I’m wonderful Ron. Tell me how work is going?”
His eyes narrow but he graciously lets it slide. My thigh burns where it touches Harry. He doesn’t look at me or say anything in greeting. What is going on with him? I need to understand. Does he regret what we did? Does he not want to see me?
Ron goes on about how great the business is and how he loves coming up with new ideas for the shop. His grin never faltering. After a few minutes, he huffs.
“Alright, what the hell happened? You guys are so tense it’s like Voldemort’s in the room.”
Harry clenches his jaw and I frown at Ron. Why say that disgusting creature’s name? He knows Harry hates it. He wants to move on. Refusing to ever call him that. Using his given name instead.
“Ronald, please. Everything’s fine. Just tired is all.” He rolls his eyes.
“Whatever you say.”
Thankfully he drops it. After Ron eats his fill, we all walk back toward the common room to relax before our first class of the day. Ron takes us on a detour, telling us his brothers found a secret passage not on the map that he wants to show us. We follow him down the third corridor without question, chatting about the Weasley clan. He stops in front of a door and I frown. I’m almost positive that’s just a closet. He opens it, forcing us through, then abruptly slamming the door behind us. The lock clicks into place as I whip around in shock.
“Ronald! You let us out of here right now! We have class in an hour!”
A quiet chuckle sounds behind the door. “Not until you guys talk it out! And I'm not stupid. I know there’s something going on! You two won’t even look at each other. Figure your shit out. I’ll be back in an hour. Toodles.” He mocks, warding the door so we can’t unlock it using magic.
I groan, tugging on the handle before giving up with an exasperated huff. Harry’s silent behind me. Like he’s not even bothered by Ron locking us in here. I slide down the door, sitting crisscross, and bang my head back against the wood. Harry sits next to me stretching his legs out across the small space, leaning back against the wall to my right. My knee is resting on his thigh. I chance a glance at his face. His eyes are closed and he seems forlorn. He still hasn’t said a word. Suddenly nervous, I gulp down the tightening in my throat. Preparing myself for the talk. The ‘I love you Hermione but we should just be friends’ talk I’ve been dreading for days. After a few moments, he sighs.
“Let’s lock two historically anxious people in a small closet and hope they can handle it for an hour. Logic.”
I bark out a laugh and he grins, opening his eyes to look at me. “Hi ‘mione.” He whispers, grabbing my hand. I let out a shuddering breath, fixing my eyes on our hands.
“Hi Harry.”
He studies me, running his thumb over my knuckles. “I’m sorry I left. And.. that I didn’t explain what happened.” He sighs. “I’m sure that beautiful mind of yours has come up with some sort of explanation.” My cheeks warm. Beautiful mind?
“I did..”
He smiles softly. “And I’m sure it’s wrong Hermione. Although I’d like to hear your theories.”
I nervously fidget with the hem of my skirt. “Well. I figured you felt like you were taking advantage of me… and when I-” I pause, the memory of that morning sparking a fire low in my abdomen. I clear my throat. “-you know… You started to spiral because we were 100% sober this time, so every excuse got thrown out the window. That was my first theory at least. The second is more likely. I assumed you freaked out because you were afraid that Ginny would find out. I know you still love her and this would absolutely crush her…” I sigh. “That or you thought our friendship was ruined, which is just preposterous Harry. I’ll never leave you. You could be a raging lunatic and I’d be right there with you.”
I peek a glance at him and he’s smiling warmly at me. His emerald eyes glistening.
“I-“ he blows out a breath. “Merlin Hermione. How do you know me so well?” He shakes his head. “Only one of your theories is wrong.”
My mind races over which one it could be. I furrow my brow. I guess maybe the last one? He probably knows I’d stick by his side through anything. He chuckles.
“I can see the wheels turning. I have a feeling you don’t know. Even though it’s bloody obvious.” My eyes widen. Obvious? Didn’t Draco say something along those lines?
He smiles. “Hermione. I don’t feel that way about Ginny anymore. Haven’t for a while.” He says quietly and I gape at him. Since when?! He said he loved her at the party! Did I make that up?
“You are my best friend. My family. So yeah I freaked out. The thought of losing you… I don’t think you understand the depth of my affection for you Hermione. I just couldn’t handle it. So many thoughts and feelings and fears. I think I just… panicked. No other way to describe it. I’m really truly sorry.”
My heart flutters in my chest. “I’m sorry too Harry. And I think I understand. It’s the same for me.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and searches my eyes. Disbelief written all over his handsome face. I shrug.
“You’re the closest thing I have to family Harry. My parents won’t talk to me and I have no one else. Well, no one I trust so deeply. I’d be lost without you.”
He cups my cheek, running his thumb over my heated skin. His eyes seeking out the truth in mine. I lean into his hand, basking in the warmth. I worry my lip and his eyes drop to my mouth tracking the movement. A rush of heat shoots to my core at the hunger I see in his gaze. I lean in as the air around us turns electric.
His hand on my cheek threads through my hair, gently pulling me closer. He looks into my eyes once more, silently asking permission. My heart pulses painfully in my chest and I whisper quietly as if I could hide from the words.
“Kiss me, Harry.”
He groans, quickly closing the distance between us, and pressing his lips softly to mine. Whimpering into his mouth, I move to straddle him, threading my fingers through his unruly hair. My heart pumps wildly in my chest. There’s no denying it anymore. This…attraction isn’t going away. He slips his tongue between my lips, deepening the kiss. I’m desperate to taste him. A primal hunger drives me as our tongues tangle. He squeezes my hips and groans.
We bask in each other’s embrace for a while. Kissing until our lips are swollen, our skin molten, my knickers completely soaked through. Lost in each other so thoroughly, I couldn’t tell you how much time passed. We begrudgingly break apart breathing heavily. I can feel his arousal poking into my thigh and I smirk knowingly. He chuckles, brushing a quick peck to my lips. I giggle leaning in to kiss him again when suddenly, we hear a knock at the door and I jolt back. Eyes wide as I come back to reality and realize where we are. I sit up quickly and pull Harry with me. His eyes grow wide with fright. We forgot about Ron. Harry abruptly pulls me into his chest, hugging me tight as Ron bursts through the door.
“I knew it! So you guys worked it out? Friends again?”
Harry chuckles. His laugh rumbling through me. “Yeah, mate. We made up alright.”
I roll my eyes. Gross . I pull back from his chest, glancing up at his face. He’s smirking at me playfully. His lips are swollen and red, and my eyes go wide, my hand shooting up to my lips.
“Yeah, Ron we’re good,” I mutter, praying he won’t notice our disheveled just been kissed appearances. He whoops before turning back and strutting out into the hallway. I sag with relief.
“Harry your lips!” I hiss quietly and he frowns reaching a hand up to touch them. His eyes go wide.
“Shit. Er- healing charm?”
I nod. “Good idea.” I quickly mutter a healing spell over his mouth. The redness fades and the swelling recedes. He does the same for me, then tucks a curl behind my ear. I feel my face heat and he smiles, brushing his thumb over my cheek.
“Beautiful.” He whispers.
“Are you guys coming?! What’re you doing in there?!” Ron yells down the hall, breaking me out of my stupor. Literally lost in Harry’s eyes. Merlin, I’m a walking cliche . I step out of his arms to clear my thoughts and pull him out into the hall after Ron.
……
Ron stays late into the night, deciding to sleep over. Harry gives me a pained look. We didn’t get the chance to talk really. Only covering the basics. I shrug at him. We can talk later. We have loads of time.
“See you in the morning Harry.” I smile softly at him before turning to Ron and grinning. “Goodbye, Ronald. Don’t be a stranger yeah?” He chuckles.
“Goodnight Hermione. I really missed you.” He says pulling me in for a hug.
Harry clears his throat. “Alright, Ron come on mate. I’ll show you my private room.” He smirks, wiggling his brows. I roll my eyes, leaving them to their devices.
Plopping down on my bed, thinking over everything that happened today, I smile into my pillow. An unintentional giggle leaving my lips. A warmth blooms in my chest as I think about that kiss. Merlin . Who’d have thought Harry could kiss like that? I squeeze my thighs together at the memory.
I wish we’d had time to talk. Kissing in the closet gave me some clarity, but I still don’t know where we stand or what any of this means. Sighing, I turn over on my side and look out the window. The stars are twinkling at me, mocking me as if I’m their entertainment. My eyes grow heavy and soon, sleep overtakes me.
The next day, I eat breakfast with Neville and the rest of the Gryffindor crew. Tuning them out as they talk on and on about how excited they are for Quidditch. It’s not that I hate the sport, I just don’t find it as entertaining as they do. To be honest, it scares me. Not only am I scared of heights, but also of my friends getting hurt or worse. I’ve seen Harry fall off his broom too many times not to be anxious every time I watch.
Both Harry nor Ron make it to breakfast, and I assumed they skipped so Harry could walk Ron out past the wards. I grab him a blueberry muffin before I head to class. Just as I’m about to head out, I spot a handful of sugar quills at the end of the Hufflepuff table.
“No way!” I exclaim and quickly snatch them up with a grin. They’re my favorite candy. I’m surprised they’d give us candy for breakfast, but hey, I’m not complaining.
Arriving at Defense Against the dark arts early, I set Harry’s muffin down on his workspace. We sat toward the back this year, a first for me. I take out my things, giddy that I have a few sugar quills to suck on. I love those things. Never able to find any in honeydukes. They’re always sold out.
I pick the strawberry-flavored one, popping it into my mouth, and moaning at the taste. My favorite. Harry slides into the seat next to me a few moments later.
“Hi ‘mione.”
I peer over my shoulder at him and find he’s watching me intently. I nod in greeting motioning toward the muffin.
“Thanks.” He says smiling, turning to listen to our professor.
I pull the sugar quill out of my mouth, licking my sticky sweet lips and taking notes with my actual quill. I can feel Harry’s eyes on me and I get a rather interesting idea. I hide my smirk by popping the candy back into my mouth and sucking on the tip, glancing back at Harry as I do so. I raise my brow in question. His eyes are dark, watching my mouth.
”You okay?”
Jerking his eyes up to mine, he nods, cracking a knowing smile before turning to face the front. I shrug, smirking to myself. This is going to be fun.
…...
Walking out of class, Harry’s stiff by my side. I teased him the entire class period. Getting a thrill knowing he was so affected by me. How had I not noticed it before? His eyes were constantly shifting to me throughout the class.
He hasn’t said a word since we left. Walking with me silently to my next class. I have arithmancy in fifteen minutes and Harry has history of magic on the other side of the castle. I’m about to ask if he’s going to class when he grabs my arm and tugs me into a small alcove. I squeal as he yanks me into his chest. My eyes wide as I stare into his.
“Harry. What’re you doing?” I ask breathlessly.
“You did that on purpose didn’t you Hermione? Sucking on that damn quill all class.” He growls, pressing me back into the wall. Heat floods to my core.
“I would never do such a thing,” I whisper, feigning innocence.
He grips my waist with one hand, the other tangling in my hair, resting at the nape of my neck.
“Oh? So all the moaning and lingering glances.. Was all because the candy was so delicious? Huh… I guess I need to give it a taste. Must be pretty remarkable.” He says bringing his face closer. “There’s only one thing I know that tastes that good.” He says quietly, his green eyes glinting with mischief. My knickers soak through as desire rushes through me at his insinuation.
“And what’s that?” I ask barely audible. He just smirks.
“I think you know Hermione.”
Whimpering, I pull him closer by the lapels of his shirt. Our breaths combining, lips almost touching.
“Although, based on your reaction in class. I guess… I do need to give it a try.” He says, flicking his eyes down to my lips.
“I think you do too.” I breathe, abruptly pressing my lips to his. I grip his shirt tighter and moan into his mouth as he slips his tongue through my parted lips.
His leg parts mine, pushing against my core and I kiss him desperately. Every nerve ending on my body is alight with desire. He groans a deep guttural sound that echoes through me. I’m ravenous, wanting to taste every inch of him. Our teeth and tongues clash in our haste. Completely unaware of our surroundings. Someone clears their throat loudly and I gasp, jerking away from him. Harry pulls away from me, pushing me behind him protectively. I hear a snort and peer around Harry to see none other than Theo Nott smiling widely at us.
He chuckles, “Thought you two were a couple of 6th years going at it by all the noise.”
I blush scarlet and curse my recklessness. His eyes flick to me and he winks.
“As you were.” He says before leaving, shaking his head.
I groan, hiding my face in my hands. The embarrassment heating my neck and ears. Did it have to be Theo? Harry blows out a breath.
“Uh- Maybe we should get to class now?” He croaks. I peer up at his face and he’s just as red as I am, rubbing the back of his neck. Suddenly feeling very shy even though we literally just snogged for like ten minutes. Why am I nervous? I clear my throat.
“Yeah. That’s probably a good idea. But.. Um- Harry. You look.. thoroughly fucked right now so maybe we should clean ourselves up a bit.” I say trying to lighten the mood. The tension in the air is almost palpable.
A laugh bursts from him. “Bloody hell Hermione.” He says grabbing his wand, pointing it at himself, and muttering a few smoothing charms.
He eyes me up and down. “Hmm Yeah. You look hot right now. I don’t really want to fix the whole thoroughly fucked look as you called it.” He says smirking. I huff, rolling my eyes before doing it myself. He chuckles and shrugs like I shouldn’t expect anything less from him.
Satisfied we look presentable, we awkwardly say goodbye, walking to our respective classes. Really needing a cold shower.