This'll be a breeze!!

The moon went down with a practised bravado, sitting in the dining room I watched as the first light of the day crawled across the sky. Laden with foreboding.

outside the mercury was at an all time low. It was colder than the devil’s heart, raining ice pitchforks as if the heavens were ready to fall. My depressing monologue was a direct result of my today’s agenda. Cursing the minister of magical Britain. Last night in my sleep drunk state I came up with a brilliant plan of cursing fudge with one of my new spells to make him a bit more compliant, but now that I'm awake I'm not so sure anymore. I would’ve been really worried if you were.

But that’s not even the worst part, the worst part is that for the life of me I can’t think of any other way, especially when Sirius’ trial is day tomorrow. I’ve read about fudge before, alot. Many of those accounts come from fanfictions or head cannons. Fudge is nothing but an extension of Malfoy's will, a puppet. Fudge was a high-string whiner on the verge of breaking apart like an overamped energizer bunny. He had the brains to be a pretty decent politician, but unfortunately his greed is too much. Downfall of many politicians, I'm afraid. You either get corrupted by the system, or you get blackmailed into being a puppet of a corrupted string puller. In the end the ones who are truly fucked are the people they were elected to serve in the first place.

I was jolted out of my ponderings by the soft steps in the otherwise silent house, glancing at the clock I saw that it was almost seven in the morning, “Were you up all night again?” my mother asked as she walked in the kitchen,

Lightly chuckling I replied “No- no no no no. I went to sleep early, remember. So I woke up early too.” I finished with a small shrug and leaned back in my chair, balancing it on two legs as I watched my mother preparing breakfast.

“What were you doing?” she asked, glancing at the drawing pad lying in front of me.

“Drawing”

“Pretty.” she commented with a smile and turned back to the stove. “What are your plans for today?”

“What makes you think I have some sort of plans?” I asked jokingly but she just turned towards me with an expression that just screamed `really?` “I’m your mother Cass, I always know.”

Sighing a bit, I just cracked my fingers and said “I’m gonna go to fudge’s house.”

“And?” she asked with a careful tone.

“And, I'm gonna put the fear of God into him.” I said and watched as her face just crumbled into disappointment and she turned back. “It’ll give me a chance to try out some of our spells.”

“Please don’t use the liquefying one.” she said in a tired voice without turning around, but that changed when i just laughed at her request. “You think that’s the most horrifying one? Please.”

“You have something more terrifying than that?”

“I have one that is called destined death.” straight out of the Elden ring. 

Pinching her nose bridge she just uttered a “.....elaborate.”

“It's a non-verbal, red coloured Avada Kedavra.”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yes, a normal killing curse is mercy, because it kills without any pain, mine literally strips the life off of the victim, it’s instantaneous for the viewer, but for the victim, it's slow. Extremely slow.” I finished with a grim satisfaction, and watched as she just shook her head and shuddered a bit. “Believe me, you don’t wanna know how it works.”

“I worry about your sanity sometimes.” she said with a sad tone, while placing a plate of scrambled eggs and a cup of tea in front of me.

“Well, you’re twenty years too late I'm afraid.”

“So, about this plan of yours with fudge, are you sure that putting the fear of god is the right way to move forward.” she asked taking a seat in front of me, i just looked at her with a contemplative look and began

“I need him to get in line fast, fear is the most effective tool.” leaning back in my chair i absentmindedly began, “fear is a weapon so powerful that if wielded correctly, then it can topple the empires, turn the bravest of people into mewling babes, fear is the inevitability tha–”

“Stop! For the love of everything that is holy! Stop!” ‘Fellas, I think she had too much.’

“Alright-alright! Jeez." I replied, holding my hands up and leaned forward to finish my breakfast, but was immediately surprised by grandfather.

“How about guilt?” came his scratchy voice, the way it usually is in the morning.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I came in the middle of your fear speech.” he said with a smile before taking the seat at the head of the table.

“Creepy” I said, playfully wagging my finger in front of him. After finishing my breakfast, and thinking about his suggestion for a few minutes, I turned towards him. “Now guilt can be an excellent motivator, and it’ll last long too. The only problem is that it needs to come from within. Otherwise it won’t work. So for that to work I need something that he might be guilty about, but seeing the kind of person he is, I sincerely doubt that he’s guilty about anything, and on top of that it needs to be related to his political career, otherwise it won’t be effective.”

Hearing me both my mother and grandfather were nodding their heads in agreement. After thinking about it for a minute he said “His father.”

“What about him?”

“His grandfather was a minister, who died two years into his term, he was a good minister, his father on the other hand was an auror, a very decorated and respected auror.” well, this is a fuckin’ news to me. I genuinely hope that elder fudge’s are rolling in their graves. 

Wait, do magicals have graves??

“Quick question, do magicals have graves??” I could tell that his question was really unexpected, because my mother’s face just screamed `what the fuck?` so I just backpaddled and turned to my grandfather. “Can you get me their pictures?”

“Sure.”

“I can modify one of the fear spells a bit to make him feel guilty, it’ll basically amplify his guilt to 11.”

“But how would that help us? I mean he could be feeling guilty about anything, like leaving for work without saying ‘i love you’ to his wife, or not washing his hands after going to the washroom.” my mother asked as she got up from the table.

“That’s why I need the photographs. After getting a mental image of what I'm dealing with, I'll confound him a bit into thinking about his grandfather, and father. Soon he’ll start to feel horrible about the corrupt life he’s leading, and maybe he’ll do the right thing.”

“And where would you do this?” my grandfather asked with a bit of apprehension. To which I just gave a smile and said “Well, it looks like it is `bringing your child to work` day for you.” 

“Great, just what I need.” he said with a sigh and walked out of the room. Presumably to get ready.

“Aww, don’t be like that.” I shouted behind him and turned to my mother who just smiled at me with amusement. 

“He’ll have fun.” I said and turned back to my tea. “Oh, B the W, make sure Harry finishes his holiday homework today, he’s been putting it off for a long time, and I don't want him to leave it for the very end of the holidays.”

Nodding at me in agreement she sat back and narrowed her eyes at me. “He’ll complete it, but what about you? Are you done?”

“Oh I did it in school, I had a lot of free time.” i replied with a jolly smile, which was wiped the moment she asked “just how many classes are you skipping?!”

‘Welp, there’s no use in hiding this now, is there? “The question should be how many classes I'm attending.” I said with a smile, which was bordering on grimacing.

“What did I say will happen if you skip any more classes?” she asked dangerously, it would’ve frightened anyone who wasn’t me. Unfortunately for her I was me!. Seriously? Ughhh  That was so bad.

“I’m a little foggy on it but it was somewhere along the lines of raining down hellfire.” I replied with as much air of nonchalance as I could. Which of course did nothing but make her more angry “That’s right.” came her cold voice again.

“And here I am, without an umbrella.” I said, trying to hide the small smirk that was breaking on my face. But of course she saw it

“Cass you can’t just skip classes like this!” 

“There’s almost no tuition, so who cares?” I tried to reason 

“But what about your education?”

“This my second go around, remember?”

“And by skipping classes you’re broadcasting that to everyone”

She angrily spat and stormed out of the room. Shaking my head I started to think about what I would do, and how I would do it when Harry entered the room, still yawning and rubbing sleep out of his eyes. Forgetting about my troubles, I just turned towards him and started talking to him about insignificant things like owl treats, quills, and tea. Majority of it was about tea, actually I was teaching him how to make a good cup of tea. 

As a proud British citizen he needs to know how to make tea. Otherwise what does he have to show for? A fancy accent?

We were almost done when grandfather came into the room again, dressed in his work clothes.

“Ready to go?” he asked, looking at me and my clothes. I was still in my night clothes, which I remedied by transfiguring my clothes into my normal coat, jeans, and a pair of Chuck Taylors by just a few snaps of my fingers. “Yes sir!!”

“Where are you going?” Harry asked with wide eyes, wiping his hands with a washcloth.

“Ministry.”

“Why?”

“To have some fun.” I said with shit eating grin, which obviously he didn’t take very well, “Wha- I wanna go too!!” he exclaimed and started pleading with grandfather to take him as well. And I think he would have said yes too, but I jumped in before that.

“Did you finish your homework?” I asked and saw his face immediately crumbled into sadness. “finish that today and we’ll talk.”

You heartless bastard.

“So. How do you usually go there?” I asked my grandfather, once we started walking out of the house towards an empty dead-end near our house “I just apparate.” he said while simply shrugging his shoulders.

“Seriously?” I asked incredulously, this is such a lame way to go to your work everyday.

“What? It's easy and efficient.” he asked raising his eyebrows in defence, before taking a hold on my shoulder

shaking my head in disappointment, I just said “Sure.” and took a deep breath, because in the next moment he apparated both of us in the middle of a very busy sidewalk, but in spite of that no one walking around paid any sort of attention to us. Most probably the stop we just apparated to is shrouded in notice-me-not charms, or some sort of muggle repelling charms.

Smiling with excitement I followed my grandfather towards a …… public toilet. Of Course. 

Walking into the building I saw a line of people just walked into the stalls with a straight face, and climbed into the toilet, so gross! And then they just straight up flushed themselves!!

“Please! Please tell me we don’t have to do that!” I pleaded with my grandfather to give me a different way, but he just laughed with amusement and climbed into the toilet and just flushed himself.

Staring at the scene in despair I just shook my head and mumbled  “Fucking purebloods.” under my breath, which was heard by the person who was standing behind me in dark green robes. “Excuse me?” he asked with a high and outraged voice.

“You heard me!” I just threw behind me and walked into a stall too before repeating the process. But fortunately the entire process was riddled with charms. To be fair, the ride was pretty smooth, but the psychological trauma of flushing yourself down a toilet is something I don't wanna experience ever again.

Reaching the destination I immediately lost my footing and fell down on the floor. Groaning, I looked up to see grandfather trying to hold in his laugh, but the moment he saw my face he completely lost it.

“Yeah-yeah, laugh it up old man.” I said with a grimace as I examined my clothes, checking to see that they are still clean. Once I was satisfied we started walking through the ministry, “I’m just saying, flushing yourself down the toilet to get in the ministry?”

I started again, trying to get him to see the reason. After all, he was the one responsible for this fucking mess, as the head of the department of magical travel. But of course, why would he listen to a child?! “Just be thankful that I didn’t eat anything for breakfast.” I muttered with a resigned sigh and looked around. 

This place was the epitome of stupidity. Everything just triggered me more and more, where the MCUSA looked like an actual place of work, a proper professional workplace, this place looks like 3d interior I used to make in my first year with reused assets, and cluttered with things I thought might look cool, but in all fairness it just looks like they overcompensating for something. 

“You didn’t eat anything for breakfast?” my grandfather asked, breaking me out of my thoughts, looking at him I could see that he was not pleased to hear that. So I just shrugged and said “I never eat breakfast, just tea.” while looking up the wall, but something caught my eye, something that finally caused me to reach my breaking point

“That is not something to boast about Cass.” I heard my grandfather again, but instead of giving him a reply, I just waved my hand Dismissively and pointed to a door way up on the wall, it was so up that you have to crane your neck just to see the fucking thing, I was just about to start ranting on it when I saw the guy from earlier at the entrance staring at me. “Who is that?” I asked grandfather quietly and subtly pointing to the guy. I could tell that he was someone important based on the kind of clothes he was wearing.

“That is Daniel Greengrass, current lord of the house of Greengrass. Why?”

Sheepishly I rubbed the back of my neck and said “I may have insulted purebloods to his face” hearing that he just looked at me with a horrified expression and then just shook his head in despair, he was contemplating something when I started again “ second of all, what the fuck is that?”

He gave me a funny look and said “That is a door.” as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He was looking at me as if I was the crazy one here! 

Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself, but it did nothing because I was again screaming by the end of my sentence “Why? I mean why is there even a door up there? It’s not even magical! It’s just stupid!” I said passionately pointing at the door, but my hand was immediately smacked down by my grandfather “Keep your voice down! People are watching!” he pointed out to me, and boy was he right. Almost every employee on this floor was looking at me with either anger, or disgust.

“Whatever.” I muttered and followed my grandfather without saying anything, which was really hard! I almost lost my control when I saw the statue in the middle of the atrium with the wizard and witch standing in the middle and a bunch of magical creatures worshipping him. It was so fucking wired seeing that worshiping/pleased look on the goblin’s face. The only way a goblin would look at a human that way is if they were bleeding out of multiple stab wounds, which were inflicted by them in the first place.

Finally we stopped in front of the department of records, or something. Looking around I saw that there are a lot of interesting places here, like the auror department, the wizengamot chamber, and many other cool places. 

I was just examining them all when I heard my grandfather “Why don’t you stay here and wait, while I go and get the files?”

Shrugging my shoulders I just said “Sure, that’ll be fun.” and with those words I just turned and started walking towards mot’ chamber

“Just stay on the floor.” I heard behind me. Dismissively waving it I just opened the door and walked in, and my god! This place is fucking intimidating. I have no idea how Harry handled it during his hearing. But to be honest it will be really fun fucking around here.

Banging the railing in front of me while Looking at the chief warlock’s chair I began “Out of order?! I’ll show you out of order Mr. Trask! But I’m too old, I’m too tired, I’m too fuckin’blind. If I was the man five years ago, I'd take a flamethrower through this place!” I finished with a little more flourish than how Al-Pacino did, “out of order? Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” I finished the scene and I began laughing with a little delight. Performing this scene in the middle of a fucking, glorified courtroom was always a wet dream for me.

“I could hear you from two rooms away.” I heard from the door of the room, turning around I saw my grandfather standing in the doorway looking at me with amusement.

“Bloody hell, really?” I asked laughing, while I walked towards him, I saw that he had a file in his hands, probably fudge’s. 

“And it’s not just me, people are wondering who is on the stand today.” he said as he fully entered the room and closed the door behind him, 

“It’s the honourable Henry T Fleming!” I said looking for some kind of recognition, and I finally saw one. I saw his eyes light up as he breathed “No way.”

“The prosecution is not going to get that man today. No.” There was no one around so of course I pointed at my grandfather, who just laughed and accepted it “because I'm gonna get him. My client! The honourable Henry T Fleming should go right to fucking jail! The son of a bitch is guilty! That man is guilty! That man there, that man! is a slime! That man is a slime! If he’s allowed to go free! Then something really wrong is going on here!” I thought that would be the end of the scene, but suddenly grand dad jumped in too “Mr. fall you’re out of order!” 

Again aggressively pointing at him I shouted “You're out of order! You’re out of order! They’re out of order! This whole trial is out of order!” After finishing the scene we just looked at each other for a second and then started laughing in delight “Okay lad I think you’ve had your fun!”

“Okay yeah that was fun.”

Agreeing with him we both turned to leave the room only to find Madam Bones standing in the doorway, looking at us with amusement and confusion. Sighing deeply my grandfather moved forward and offered a single nod “Amelia.”

“Rust,” she nodded in return with a small smile and then turned to me. “You must be Cassius Fall.”

Shrugging I moved forward and offered my hand which shook, “Unfortunately. I assume you’re Susan's aunt?”

“Yes, she has told me about you.”

“Good things i hope.” I asked, with what I hoped to be a charming smile.

“It’s a mixed bag.” she said with a small shrug “Now what was that?” she asked pointing towards the center of the room

“Oh just boys being boys.” I said with a sheepish smile, to which she just gave an incredulous look and asked “You were being boys, by…. Accusing your grandfather of being a slime?" Of course the entire situation was so absurd that I couldn't help but laugh.

My grandfather just shook his head in exasperation and said “It was a movie reference.”

“A muggle movie I presume.”

“You presume correct.” i said after I finally controlled myself 

“Huh, anyways. What are you doing here by the way?”

“Just fuckin’ around.” I answered because obviously that’s what we were doing, and I wouldn't have even noticed the shock on her face if my grandfather hadn't smacked me in the head.

“What?” I asked, rubbing the back of my head, before seeing the expression on her face and then I remembered that these people practically live in ancient times. “oh, sorry about that.” I apologised with a grimace and quickly snatched the file from my grandfather’s hands and skedaddled out of the room. 

Standing outside I opened the file and looked through the fudge house of fudge. I gotta say apart from a few blemishes the entire file was extremely impressive. Memorising the faces of my targets I was just thinking how to put my plans into motion when the minister walked in front of me himself. 

Fucker was trotting around with a poor assistant who was taking down notes as he just kept on blabbering them.

There were very few people out in the corridor, being mindful of them I quickly changed my looks and clothes and started moving towards the pudgy man, who was of course not paying attention to where he was going, a few more steps and I purposefully crashed into him and with my transfigured wand/ring I cursed him. It all happened so fast that no one even knew what happened 

“I beg your pardon sir!” I exclaimed, acting fearfully while bowing down in front of him

“It’s fine dear boy, just don’t run in the ministry. This is a dangerous place.” he waved away my apology and said with a cheerful tone, before resuming back on his journey.

Looking around I saw my grandfather was out and staring at me, walking towards him. I quickly changed back again but before I could reach him I saw a man in a grey cloak, standing in the corner looking all shady and mysterious. “Holy mother of god! It’s a dementor!!” I screamed and ran towards my grandfather “quick call prison mike!'' I exclaimed while looking around us. It seems when i screamed about dementors a lot of people got scared too and came out of their departments.

“Cass, please.” again my grandfather just shook his head in exasperation, looking mildly embarrassed he just waved his colleagues back, who all grumbled in annoyance and walked away. I was just trying to control my laughter when the grey cloak slowly walked towards us. Clamping on my shoulder my grandfather introduced us “This is Saul croaker, head of the department of mysteries.” 

“How could you tell?” I asked him, and it was a genuine fucking question, I mean how could any one tell? The entire attire is so fucking non descriptive, and you can’t see anything inside the hood, it’s just dark. But obviously I will get some bullshit answer so just bulldozed my way through “Mysteries? Oh good then you can help with this question, why is there a door near the ceiling in the atrium? It’s not even magical! It’s just stupid!” I asked the same question again because I want answers damn it! “Also, I see that you’ve got a gateway to the afterlife, I'm not even gonna ask how, just handrails. I can only imagine how traumatic it would be for someone to witness someone falling into the said gateway. Also the recommended height for the shelf is 15 feet. Now I understand that you’ve got a lot of prophecies, but if you don’t get your act together then I've got a prophecy of me own…… people are gonna get hurt. Also-” I was going to ask about the brains in the jar when my grandfather pulled me back by the shoulder. 

A little too aggressively he started dragging me towards his office “I’ll see you around Saul.” he exclaimed and pulled me into his office, casting a privacy charm he turned towards me and thundered “the hell were you thinking!? Babbling on about stuff you’re not supposed to know about?” i was about to respond when his words actually caught up to me, he’s absolutely right, i just went and blabbed to a fucking grey cloak. “he’s the head of DOM, he will imprison you and run merlin knows how many tests on you! And we wouldn’t be able to do a single thing!”

“I’m sorry, I didn't think about it.” I replied a little scared and shook about the possibility. 

“Of Course you didn’t.” he said with a sigh and patted me on the back “now come on, let’s just curse the minister and be done with it.” 

Rubbing my neck sheepishly I said “About that. I’m already done with it actually.”

“oh for the love of. When?”

“Remember when I bumped into him? Yeah I cursed him then.” the way his face went from confusion to disappointment so fast!

“That was an unbelievably major risk you took!”

“I know. It’s just. I love fighting, or doing something about this war. Before I took a roundabout trip to the past I was nothing but a student, a good and talented one, but still a student. All I wanted to do was fight in this war, make a difference! But by the time I joined it was already too late. I started that chapter of my life so late that I hardly had time to do anything worthwhile. Now I'm here, and I have a golden opportunity to actually help people. I just don’t want to waste it.” nodding his head tiredly he just went to sit in his chair. Where he took a deep sigh and said “I understand that. But you have to understand that you won’t be helping anyone by dying due to your own stupidity lad.”

“You’re right, like always. Now come on, Let’s go home.” I mean there really isn’t anything I can say there. The guy is right, I have to be a bit more responsible. Oh! The horror!

Raising his eyebrow with amusement he said “Your work may be done, but mine isn’t. I’ll stay here.” picking up a paperweight he waved his wand over it and tossed it to me “You take this port key, and go home.”

“From inside the ministry?” I asked, knowing that there are too many wards around the entire place. It’s virtually impossible for anything, or anyone to get in or out apart from the main entrance. 

Except of course “ The Head of magical transportation here, son.” he said with a smile while pointing towards him. Shaking my head with amusement I looked at the paper weight and then at him silently asking him for the activation key, “rise” he said and within a moment I was inside my home, right in the middle of the dining room’s doorway, where everyone else were having lunch. Looking at them I said “He’s got a twisted sense of humour eh?”

“You’ve got no idea. Have a seat.” my grandmother said with a chuckle as she pointed to the chair in front of her.

The rest of the day was spent either by helping Harry with his homework, or while drawing. Like I've said before, one of the biggest drawbacks of living here is the lack of decent technology. I’d give almost anything to play red dead redemption again!! Phantom liberty!! ‘That too’

I was almost out of my mind when grandfather finally came back from work, the moment I felt his presence I immediately went down to greet him and to find out weather our plan worked or not but for some reason grandfather was a lot more subdued and reserved after coming home, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed. But anytime someone addressed the problem he’d immediately just shoot down our worries with a forced laugh or somethin’. The biggest thing was that for some reason grandfather was actively trying to avoid me. And it was only me. Getting a bit fed up, I finally cornered him after dinner. “Did it work?” I asked to which he gave me a very strange look and distractedly replied “Hmm, oh yes. It worked.”

Please tell me that I'm not the only one who’s imagining things here!!

Yeah something is seriously wrong with him.

“Any sort of problems? You know after I left?” I asked again, relaxing my stance a bit, and in return I saw him getting a bit tense.

He’s not getting tense, he’s getting ready ‘hmmm’

“N-no. none. Everything was fine.” he again replied with a small laugh after struggling for just a sec

“Good, that’s good.”

‘Mage, keep an eye on him. I think he’ll try something.’

Nodding, I turned to walk out of the room when Mage immediately shot a shielding charm behind me. Turning around I saw my grandfather pointing his wand at me with trembling hands and looking at me with sorrow and anguish. Levelling his wand he tried to cast another stunner but before he could finish i casted a incarcerous and a silencing spell.

I know you made him mad, but I didn't know he was this mad.

‘Shut it!’

“Why?” I asked after calming down a bit and removing the silencing spell. But of course he didn’t say anything.

‘Mage can we check what’s wrong with him?’

We’re not healers so it’ll be hard, but sure give it a try.

Putting my hand on his head I started searching for something, anything. What are we looking for? ‘Confound, memory charm, imperious. Anything related to the mind.’ And soon I found it

“What are you doing!?” My mother screamed when she saw her father tied up on the ground, while I was standing above him looking almost murderous.

“Was trying to find out why he tried to stun me.”

“He did what?” Suddenly her face lost all of its colour and she just looked at me as if I had told her I'm in a relationship with tommy.

“He’s imperioused.”