the kids aren’t alright (they never will be again)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
G
the kids aren’t alright (they never will be again)
Summary
With Regulus gone all of the time and their parents wonderful approach to life (that was sarcastic), Sirius finds himself falling into a deep self-destructive spiral where no one can reach him. An alcoholic at 16 and an addict soon after, he searches for any way to escape his emotions and his life in general. On his way, he meets the most brilliant man he will ever know: Remus John Lupin.Follow our favorite traumatized boy as he falls into every unhealthy coping strategy he possibly can, all while falling in love. Featuring abusive Walburga, alcoholic Orion, concerned Regulus, and everything that could have gone wrong in a world where Sirius never had his magic or, worse, his friends.
Note
Hi! Just a quick little note before we begin: I began writing this on a whim and am posting it before it's finished. That's important because I can promise no semblance of a posting routine or schedule.Also, I offer a warning. This fic will get heavy. Point-blank period. Addiction is a heavy topic and so is loving someone who is an addict and I will not be shying away from hard truths. At some point, every single character will be in the wrong or look like a jerk, but I ask that you have empathy for them. There is no correct way to handle this type of situation or cope with traumas (although there are many wrong ways *cough* drugs *cough*).With that said, know that Sirius will recover because I do not have it in myself to write a sad ending.Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
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Sirius returned to the skate park the next night despite his apprehensions let on by a certain brown-eyed boy. His steps didn’t falter for a moment and his grin never even twitched. He put on the show that he knew everyone was expecting, just as he had always. He was the oldest son of the Black Family Empire. He was the annoyingly jubilant and mischievous older brother. He was the kid who couldn’t seem to disappear no matter where he went.

So, he would be exactly who everyone thought he would be. Sirius was the life of the party, and, when he was around, the party never stopped.

Everyone was standing around in a circle, passing cigarettes and laughing at something Sirius had said, when he saw Remus.

Just as it had been the first time, those eyes sent shivers down his spine. Remus approached the group as conversation carried on and left Sirius behind, frozen in the moment he was acknowledged by the boy from the moon. He had thought for sure that knowing who he was would make him ignore his existence.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

“Hey, Rich,” he greeted.

“Hey, Moony,” Sirius breathed out.

Before he knew what was happening, Remus had taken him by the hand and dragged him all the way back to where they had smoked the night before.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Sirius Black, future heir of the Black Family Empire….” he trailed off, clearly expecting some sort of reaction. Sirius did nothing but flinch.

After a long moment, Remus pulled out a pre-rolled blunt and lit it before asking, “Is it true that your dad’s fucking his assistant?”

The question shocked a laugh out of the dark haired boy. He hadn’t heard that rumor in a few months, despite it resurfacing at least twice a year, leading to his father firing good assistants regularly.

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t exactly keep track of who my dad is fucking.”

“Oh, alright… want a hit?”

“Is that it?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“I mean, I do need to get more, but I think that’s a pretty alright looking spliff for what I have. Since when did you become such an expert?”

Sirius was practically flabbergasted. It seemed almost like Moony didn’t even care about who his family was. As much as he had been hiding it, he had almost been eager for someone to know how he actually was and now that person simply did not care.

If he was honest, it kind of frustrated him.

“Are you serious, right now?”

“No, that’d be you.”

Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. His anger faded away as he was flooded with relief and amusement. Reggie always hated that joke.

“Oh god,” he choked out, doubling over. “Everyone hates when I do that.”

His laughter faded out as the world faded away from him, his focus entirely on Remus’ eyes as they glittered with mischief.

“You really are something, d’you know?”

The other boy’s slight smile faded.

“Yeah, well I’m not exactly famous, am I?”

“My family’s so-called status has never given me anything good, I’ll have you know. Honestly, if you want to switch I’m more than willing.”

Remus’ eyes flicker down for a moment and Sirius finally realizes how close they are to each other.

This is a bad idea. He knows. They’ve known each other for two days.

But maybe Sirius didn’t care. Maybe he was known for self-destructive behavior. Hell, maybe he enjoyed it. So, yes, he very quickly made a very bad decision, and yes, it was the best one he had ever made.

Their faces were close enough that leaning forward in the slightest made Remus’ breath catch and Sirius was giddy with anticipation.

C’mon, Moony. He thought as loudly as he could. Meet me halfway.

Instead, Remus pushed out a sharp breath and pulled away.

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