Good Morning
James woke up the following day wide awake, which was unusual, even for him. Everyone knew James was often hyper, but even he still needed a good ten to fifteen minutes in the morning to get himself out of bed.
After yesterday’s breakfast, they stayed at James and Marlene’s apartment for a game and movie day. Luckily for him, they had all helped clean up before going home for the night, which meant he and Marlene had nothing to straighten up. He got ready for the day, which this morning meant running a brush through his unbelievably wild hair and changing into an outfit. Technically, he did that, but he also stayed in his pajama pants and just threw on a random hoodie. He checked Marlene’s room, not surprised to see them still asleep. He checked the clock, which read 6:56 AM, meaning that he couldn’t expect Marlene to be awake until at least three hours later.
James grabs his keys and walks through the hallways of his apartment complex until he reaches the exit. He walks a few blocks over to his favorite bagel place, picking up a bagel and juice for both himself and Marlene. Some people might say James is too nice to his friends, but James would always disagree. Picking up bagels for someone or carrying them home after a long day is what James considers his bare minimum. He would always help someone when he could, no matter what. Besides, Marlene and him had helped each other through the most difficult times of their lives, feeding her breakfast was the least he could do.
They had quite literally gone through everything together, meeting when they were five and becoming inseparable since. When James and Marlene were thirteen, he told her he was trans. Even before his parents knew, Marlene used his name and pronouns. She didn’t entirely understand the concept at first, but even so, as soon as he told her, she immediately hugged him and asked him to explain it to her. Marlene was there to help him pick out his new name and was the first person to defend him when someone used a rude term or his dead name. They were the person who had bought his binder for him and helped him hide it from his parents, the person who had been there when he came out to his parents, the only person he allowed to stay in the operating room when he was getting top surgery. Marlene was there for every milestone along the way. James had gotten top surgery when he was 18, but before that, Marlene always reminded him that he needed to take binder breaks and research everything with him. Luckily for him, he had started to pass by the time he was starting Hogwarts, right when he turned fourteen. Hogwarts wasn’t the most accepting school, so Marlene had helped him hide it from everyone even when he was staying in a boys dormitory and changing and spending almost all his time with them. She would cry with him when it was all too much to handle, and they would celebrate with him when his voice had gotten deeper. Marlene was with him for every moment.
To that day, Marlene was still the only person other than his parents who knew.
James honestly didn’t think any of his friends would mind if they knew he was trans. They had grown up together, and they should love him either way. But then there was part of him, reminding him about the whispers and the stares. The panic attacks in corners. The constant fear of someone finding out the truth. The jealousy he had of his friends. The slurs and the death threats. Self-hatred. The comparisons. The isolation.
The memories came rushing back, his insecurities and self-doubts now flooding into his head. James blinked. He was standing in front of the bagel place. Right.
He turned, and everywhere he looked, people glared as they pushed past him. The air felt thick, and suddenly he felt as though he couldn’t get a breath in. He felt trapped on the sidewalk and couldn’t move. Everyone around him was too close, and James felt wonky and out of place. He started to sweat, his hair felt too frizzy, and he could feel every inch of fabric on his body. His breathing became rapid and desperate, and he looked for anywhere to go. He needed to get out. He started walking, bumping into a few people, looking hopelessly for somewhere to go. Eventually, he slipped down an alleyway and held onto one of the bricks that stuck slightly out of place. He tapped his fingers against the cold wall until his breathing slowed and became even once again.
James unlocked the front door of his apartment, thankful to be back somewhere that brought him so much comfort and security. When he walked in, Marlene was sitting on one of the barstools in the kitchen. He took a breath and forced a smile to his face.
“Bagels?” he said, forcing a smile to his face and attempting to forget his earlier incident.
They turned around, smiling, “Uh, yes, of course. Hand over the bag.” He did, and she looked inside, taking one out and handing it to him. James walked over to the kitchen island and hopped onto it, sitting with his legs crossed as he faced Marlene across the room.
“Wow James, when am I ever gonna find a girlfriend that treats me as well as you do?” Marlene says, laughing.
“I know! I treat you far too well for someone who’s so mean all the time.”
“Me?” Marlene replies, a look of fake astonishment spread across her face. “Mean? That sounds nothing like me.”
“Wow, now you’re just straight-up lying to me. I can’t believe it.”
“Get over yourself.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t forget, I’m still forcing you to marry me if I’m still single by 30.”
“30? That soon? Please, I need a little more time before I’m stuck with you forever.”
As Marlene replied, “Shut up.” James felt the wrapper of her bagel that she had crumpled up hit his head.
Marlene left an hour later for a few interviews she had that day. James knew he needed to catch up on work, especially considering he had gotten nothing done the previous day. He tended to leave everything off until the last minute, which he quickly learned was one of his biggest flaws in the film industry. It helped that he at least enjoyed the work he did, so at least he didn’t leave all of it to the deadline. He started editing a few photos he had taken the other day, from an underwater shoot he and Lily had done for some new clients. The photos had been difficult, especially for Lily, who had to figure out the hair and makeup and work with the water component of the shoot. James and Lily often worked together like this. If James had a job, he’d recommend Lily as the makeup artist, and she would do the same for him. They had done it for a recent movie coming up. Lily had been hired as the lead hair and makeup artist and recommended James. They hadn’t gotten back to him yet, but if everything worked out, in a few months, the movie they had both been hired for would start production, James would be on set taking photos for promotion. Even with the lack of details they had given him about the job, he assumed he would also be taking pictures of the actors for posters and magazines featuring them off-set.
He got distracted after a while and moved on to editing some photos he and Lily had taken of themselves after the clients had left. They were just messing around, Lily putting eyeliner and glitter on both of them before they had set up the camera and taken what James thought was probably too many photos. Some with them jumping into the lake, some laughing while floating on top of the water, and of course, many badly timed shots James now had to delete.
James remembered a final photo from that day and sprung up from his spot on the floor, running back to his room and searching in his bag for his film camera. He found the photo he and Lily had taken from it and added it to one of his walls next to the countless other photos he had taken of him and his friends over the years.
Once he finished editing the clients photos, he sent them to Lily and them. He was honestly impressed with how they had come out, especially considering that doing underwater shoots was one of the most challenging things for him. He then sent the other photos to Lily before checking and responding to some emails.
---
Lily wakes up to the sound of her phone buzzing over and over. She rolls over onto her side, reading her alarm clock, which reads 10:37. "So much for having a productive morning," She mumbles. Luckily, she didn’t have anything scheduled. She picks up her phone to see that James was the one responsible for waking her up. She clicks on the notification, learning he had taken her lack of response as an invitation to come over. Lily rolls her eyes but gets out of bed nonetheless. She doesn't bother changing out of pajamas or getting ready before James arrives. He had seen her at her worst, so she didn’t really mind. He wouldn’t judge her either way. She did, however, require coffee before she could even attempt to handle James’ energy.
While waiting, she checks her phone to find James’ location. He was still walking but was nearby. Just a few blocks away from her apartment. She sits on the living room couch and scrolls through her socials. She's commenting on one of Remus’ posts before a message from James pops up.
So…how's your morning going? She reads, then a moment later, another message appears. Better now that I’m on my way, right?
Sure, James, whatever helps you sleep at night. She types out.
She looks away from her phone and stares out the window across the room. James’ signature pattern of a knock pulls her away from her thoughts. She smiles and walks over, barely opening the door completely before James has excitedly wrapped her into a hug.
He pulls back, smiles at her, then begins pacing and bouncing around her living room as he speaks. “Lily! Guess what? You won’t believe it,” Then, before she has even a second to respond, “I got the job! I’m the photographer!”
He runs back over to her and takes her hands as he continues, swinging them around. “I’m going to be Regulus Black’s photographer! Regulus Black. He wants me to do the photos for him!”
“James! That’s amazing!” She says as the smile on his face grows.
“I can’t believe it. I mean, the directors were the ones hiring me, but he must have known about it. He wants me to do the photos.” he pauses, taking a breath, “I can’t believe it. Can you? Me? Regulus Black?”
Lily walks over to her couch and sits in the middle, crossing her legs with her coffee cup resting on one of her knees as she responds, “Yes, James. You’ve worked so hard for this. You deserve it. And this means we get to work together.”
He follows her and sits down next to her, mirroring her position but turning himself so he is facing the side of her face.
“Plus, you seem oddly obsessed with the fact that the movie stars Regulus. Have you finally gotten over me? I’m crushed, James. I mean, I know I broke your heart, but there’s no need to get over me that fast.”
“Hey! That was seven years ago, let it go, Lils.” He replies defensively. Then he thinks for a moment, Lily’s words catching up to him. “Wait, what? What are you even talking about? I’m not obsessed with Regulus. I’ve literally never met him before. He’s just a huge star, and I’m getting to work for him.”
“Sure, sure. If you say so.” She winks at him.
Moments like these reminded her about their last year at Hogwarts, the year she and James had gotten close. James had a stupid crush on Lily for a couple of years when they first met, and everyone expected them to get together, even their friends. He got over his crush around the time she realized why she never liked James. They ended up talking about classes and such and eventually bonded over the fact that neither of them had come out yet. No one would ever expect either of them to be gay. Sure, tons of their friends were, and half of them were already dating each other, but no one would expect the two seemingly perfect 4.0 students to be hiding such big secrets.
Her comment seemed to fly by him, “What do you think he’ll be like? He always seems to be closed off in interviews and never smiles in paparazzi photos. I’m sure he’ll be nice, though. He seems super sweet. I hope he likes me. It would suck to have him hate me and be stuck working together for months. I’m sure he’ll like me, right?” He looks to Lily as if expecting her confirmation.
“You watch all of his interviews? Stalker much?” She laughs as she says it.
She expects him to laugh or act annoyed by her comment, but his face freezes, and his smile fades. “Lily.”
His voice is barely a whisper as he says, “What about Sirius?”