“Y/N,” your friend Maddie whispers, elbowing you. You let out a deep sigh as you stare at the ink blot staining your parchment.
“Yes?” you ask, slightly annoyed as you try to wipe off the excess ink.
“James is looking at you.” she says with a giggle.
You freeze for only a moment before continuing writing. Against your better judgment, you quickly glance up only to see him sitting a few tables away, laughing with his friends.
“No he isn’t.” you whisper back to her, though you know for a fact that he is. You’ve felt his eyes on you for the past twenty minutes.
“He is!” Maddie insists. “I swear he keeps glancing over here. It’s like he’s trying to catch your eye.”
“Please,” you say with a snort. “Everyone knows he only has eyes for Evans.”
Your smile drops at that. You keep your gaze focused on your parchment, hoping she didn’t pick up on how bitter you sounded just now.
“Ugh, out of all the girls, he just had to fall for Lily. She’s so stuck up,” Maddie says with a roll of her eyes.
“She’s a good witch,” you reason, mentally asking yourself why you’re defending her in the first place. After all, she is your competition.
“And she fucking knows it, too.” Maddie continues to complain. “Always rubbing it in everyone’s faces. Would it kill her to be humble?”
“That might be the only thing she doesn’t know.” you say thoughtfully.
You and Maddie share a look before breaking out in laughter. Madam Pince appears, seemingly out of nowhere and gives you the option of quieting down or leaving the library.
You both apologize for the disturbance and when she leaves, you share one last giggle before getting back to your homework. Running a hand through your hair, you look up and lock eyes with James. Instead of immediately breaking eye contact, like usual, he smiles and nods his head at you in greeting. You give him a confused smile back, looking away when Maddie grabs your attention yet again.
“Told you he was looking at you,” Maddie whispers, casually covering her mouth with her hand. “Is there something going on between you guys?”
“What? No way.” you deny with a forced laugh. “Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” Maddie says with a shrug. “Something about the way he looks at you.”
“I hardly talk to the guy.” You remind her with a confused frown. How was he looking at you?
“You’re right.” Maddie agrees. “So what do you think his deal is?”
“I don’t know. He’s probably bored or something,” you whisper back. “Let’s just hurry up and finish the assignment. It’s almost dinner.”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
You’re walking down the corridor, humming softly to yourself when you suddenly get the feeling that you’re not alone. Turning around and seeing the corridor empty, you shrug it off and continue down the hallway.
As you pass a cupboard, a hand suddenly latches onto your wrist and tugs you into the small room, another hand immediately clasping your mouth to silence your scream.
“Shh, love. It’s just me.” James whispers into your ear, smiling to himself when he feels how you relax once you know it’s him.
“James, you tosser.” you scold, lightly hitting his arm in annoyance. “You scared me half to death.”
“Sorry,” he apologizes with a laugh, which only annoys you more, causing you to hit him again.
“Why’d you drag me in here anyway?” you ask with a huff, pushing your hair out of your face.
“Just missed you is all,” James shrugs casually, though his tone is far from it. This is the first time in days that you’re close enough for him to touch.
“Can I see you tonight?” he asks, hands reaching out to play with your fingers.
You immediately freeze. James watches curiously as your shoulders stiffen and you avoid his gaze.
“Um, I actually wanted to talk to you about that…” you mention, still avoiding his piercing gaze.
You clear your throat nervously and James frowns in confusion. When have you ever been nervous around him?
“Okay…” James says, unsure of where this is going. “What’s up?”
“I…I don’t wanna do this anymore.” you all but whisper.
Stunned, James drops your hands, the action causing you to finally turn your gaze towards him.
“Oh…” James says lamely, because he doesn’t know what else to say.
“Did I…do something?” he asks with a worried frown. “Did I do something you didn’t like? Or that you were uncomfortable with?”
“No,” you’re quick to deny with a shake of your head. “You didn’t do anything. You’re great. The sex is great.”
James sighs in relief before confusion crosses his features once more.
“Then…why?” he asks softly, head tilting the slightest bit to one side as he gazes at you.
“I just…” you let out a deep sigh before shrugging your shoulders. “This isn’t enough for me anymore.”
“I’m not good enough for you anymore?” James asks with a chuckle, though the hurt in his eyes is evident.
“No, not you!” you correct with wide eyes. “Godric, I’m saying this all wrong.” you groan.
“I-I want more.” you try again, hoping that this time you can get your feelings across without hurting his.
“It’s like I said; the sex is great, you’re great, we have a good time together…but afterwards I feel so...” you trail off, unsure of what you’re even trying to say. “I don’t wanna be just an easy fuck for someone anymore.”
“Woah!” James calls, eyes widening in shock. “That’s not what this is.”
“Isn’t it?” you counter. “I mean, the only time we really talk is when our clothes are coming off. But outside of cupboards and empty classrooms, we’re literally strangers.”
“Yeah because we- you wanted to keep this casual, remember?” James asks, starting to get frustrated. “I believe the exact words you said were “nobody has to know.”
“Yeah! Nobody has to know that we’re fucking!” you clarify. “But god, James. Every time I tried to approach you in the halls, you looked at me like I was crazy! I never said we couldn’t be friends.”
“Friends.” James chuckles. “Like I could ever be friends with you.”
“Got it,” you nod slowly, face void of any emotion. “But I want more. I want to mean more to someone. I don’t want to be a dirty secret any longer. I want to be able to go on dates with a guy, and kiss him whenever I want and for the whole school to know that we’re together. And you? What do you want?”
James opens and closes his mouth several times, trying and failing to get his thoughts in order. Taking his silence as a sign that he doesn’t want that, or at least with you, you nod your head again, this time in defeat.
“I guess I’ll see you around.” you say, giving him a sad smile.
With that, you turn around and make your way out of the cupboard, leaving James behind.
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
James has been sitting inside of Hog’s Head for the past forty minutes, staring out the window. Finally, he sees you exit Madam Pudifoot’s. James can’t help but feel his heart start to race as he watches you fix your hair. You look beautiful, like always, but maybe it’s the fact that he hasn’t seen your radiant smile in days that has him mesmerized more than usual.
James sits up straighter in his seat, all but pressing his face against the glass when he sees that blonde Ravenclaw step out of Madam Pudifoot’s and immediately grab your hand. James watches as he says something that makes you laugh and can’t help but scoff. What could he possibly have told you that was so funny?
He sits there with bated breath, watching as the Ravenclaw steps into your personal space before planting a swift kiss to your cheek. James’ hands automatically clenched into fists when instead of pushing him away, you just look up at him with a shy smile. Having seen enough, James decides to just get some sweets from Honeydukes before returning to the castle and meeting up with the boys.
Bag of goodies in hand, James hides behind a wall when he hears your laugh.
“JJ, seriously, it’s fine.” you assure.
James takes a peek from around the wall and sees you smiling as you push the blonde boy away.
“No,” he argues with a smile of his own. “I don’t mind. In fact, I insist.”
“Oh, you insist?” you repeat with an amused smile before shaking your head at him. “I don’t want to make you go out of your way…”
“You’re not.” JJ assures you with a shake of his head.
“I’m not gonna let you walk me back to the castle, only for you to immediately turn around and walk back to Hogsmeade.” you tell him, giving him a pointed look. “Just go meet up with your friends, I’ll be fine.”
JJ thinks it over before eventually nodding his head.
“You’re sure you’ll be okay?” he asks, looking at you with a worried frown.
You nod your head at him with a smile.
“Because it’s really not that big of a deal,” JJ continues, causing you to laugh. “I can go and-“
Sensing that his rambling wasn’t going to come to an end anytime soon, you step towards him and place your lips on his, effectively shutting him up. James feels his heart drop. He turns around, leaning against the wall, certain that he’s lost you.
“You kissed me,” JJ says softly when you finally pull away.
“You wouldn’t stop talking,” you inform him with a laugh.
“This your way of shutting me up?” he asks with a smirk, causing you to nod. “I could get used to this.” he says cheekily, leaning in for another kiss.
“JJ, go!” you say with a laugh, pushing him away. “Your friends, remember?”
JJ groans but finally takes a step away from you.
“I’ll see you later, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you confirm with a nod.
“One more for the road?” he asks, mischievously. You shake your head at him.
“Bye!” you call out to him before turning around and walking away, starting to make your way back to the castle.
You had only been walking for a short while when you heard footsteps behind you. You turn around with a smile, expecting to see JJ trailing behind you, only to see James walking towards you. Your smile immediately drops, causing him to scoff.
“I’m not your little boyfriend.” James says, giving you a forced smile.
“No kidding,” you mumble, turning around and continuing with your walk.
“I’m just going back to the castle.” James feels the need to say.
“Me too,” you tell him with a nod.
“I just didn’t want you to think I was following you or anything.”
“I didn’t think that,” you say, giving him a side eye. “But thanks for clearing that up.”
You walk in silence for all of two minutes before James speaks up again.
“So…how was your date?” he asks, trying to sound casual.
“It was fine.” you say simply, giving him another side eye before facing forward again.
James nods his head awkwardly, hoping you’ll elaborate but you don’t; choosing instead to continue walking down the path quietly.
“He took you to have tea, right?” James asks again. “At Madam Pudifoot’s?”
“Yeah…” you confirm, unsure of where this conversation is going. “Yeah, he did.”
“Mm, not very original, is it?” James muses. “I mean, everyone does that.”
“Well it’s not like we have that many options to choose from,” you remind him. “It’s either Madam Pudifoot’s or Hog’s Head…”
James can’t help but nod his head in agreement. You are right, but still…
“But still, Madam Pudifoot’s?” James asks, causing you to huff in annoyance.
“I liked it, okay?!” you yell as you turn to look at him. “Yeah, the decorations are tacky, but I like tea! The pastries there were good. And more importantly, I enjoyed the company I was with!”
James opens his mouth to say something, before changing his mind, turning his gaze to the ground instead.
“What do you want, James?” you ask with a sigh.
“Nothing,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “Just walking back to the castle, remember?”
“Then why are you asking me about JJ?”
“Can’t I ask a friend about her date?” James asks back.
“Well, I mean, you can…but it’s a bit weird when you’ve been fucking them.”
“You know that’s not what we’ve been doing.” James frowns at you.
“And besides, I thought we weren’t friends…” you continue, shoulders dropping in relief when the castle finally comes into view.
“Y/N,” James sighs, hand reaching out to hold your own.
“That’s what you said, right?” you ask, pulling your hand from his grasp. “So which is it? Are we friends, or aren’t we?”
“Y/N, stop,” James groans, not wanting to fight with you again. “Can you just-“
“I don’t get you,” you admit, giving James a pained look. “You don’t want the same things that I do, but then you turn around and get mad at me for trying to have that with someone else. How is that fair?”
“It’s not,” James sighs sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“I’m tired, I’m gonna go lay down for a bit.” you say before walking faster, leaving James behind.
“Fuck!” he shouts. He’s frustrated at the situation you guys are in. And he’s mad at himself for not being able to say what he wants to say.
“You fucking idiot,” James berates himself as he walks into the castle. “Why do you keep messing things up? She was right there!”
︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵
“It’s not funny!” Maddie whines, shoving you slightly as you continue to laugh.
“It’s not that big of a deal,” you assure her.
“He ended up getting a concussion.” Maddie continues. “It was mortifying!”
You open your mouth to console her, only for the sound of loud popping to catch your attention.
“What’s that?” you find yourself asking instead.
Maddie shakes her head in confusion.
“I think it’s coming from outside.” she says, brows furrowed.
Curious as to what’s going on, you both make your way out to the courtyard. When you walk out of the door, you’re caught off guard by the amount of people staring at you with giddy smiles. You look up, only to gasp at what you see.
There’s a constant stream of fireworks going off. James’ face is in one heart, yours in the other. When the firework version of yourselves both lean in for a kiss, the sky lights up in an array of colors and the loop begins again.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, Peter, James’ friend is riding around on his broomstick, flower petals raining down over everyone as he passes. You see a sign dragging behind him and squint your eyes, trying to make out the words. When you do, your eyes widen.
Y/N, I’M CRAZY ABOUT YOU! PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME! FOREVER YOURS, JAMES
“What the fuck…” you mutter in horror.
“Incoming.” Maddie whispers, nodding her head to the side before walking away.
You look to the right only to see JJ approaching you.
“JJ, I-“
“Hey, I’m so sorry.” he interrupts.
“What?” you ask, confused as to why he’s apologizing.
“I never would have asked you out if I knew you had something going on with Potter.”
“What?” you ask with wide eyes before vehemently shaking your head. “No! You don’t understand.”
“You don’t have to explain anything to me,” JJ assures you with a kind smile. “There’s no hard feelings. The last thing I wanna do is get between you guys.”
“JJ wait!” you call after his retreating figure. “There’s nothing going on between me and-“
“James!”
“Godric, how romantic!”
“Look at him, oh I’m swooning!”
Sighing, you turn around only to see James crossing the courtyard, heading your way, with a huge arrangement of flowers.
Coming to a stop in front of you, James holds the flowers out with a smile. You look from him to the arrangement in confusion, and when you make no effort to grab them, James places them in your hands for you.
“Well?” he asks, holding his arms out with a proud smile. “What do you think?”
You cautiously lift your gaze, heart sinking when you see the amount of people staring at you. James frowns when he sees your dejected expression.
“Y/N?” he says softly.
When you finally meet his gaze, James’ heart drops at the tears you’re fighting back.
“What hap-“
“You’re such a jerk.” you tell him weakly, putting the bouquet back in his hands before turning around and running into the castle.
“Y/N, wait!” you hear James call after you.
You ignore him, continuing down the corridor.
“Y/N, please! Just wait a minute!”
You make a right and start going up the stairs.
“I just want to talk!”
“I don’t want to talk to you!” you call over your shoulder at him.
You storm into the astronomy tower and James hesitates for only a moment before following after you.
“Why don’t you wanna talk to me?” he asks softly as he closes the door behind him.
“You’re being mean.” you mumble, crossing your arms as you turn your back to him, choosing to look out the window instead.
“What? How am I being mean?”
“Because! You got mad at me for going on a date with someone. As if that wasn’t enough, you go and do this…whatever this is to what? Mock me?”
“I wasn’t trying to mock you.” James tells you with a shake of his head.
“No?” you ask. “Everyone saw that! JJ saw that! I won’t be seeing him anymore because he thinks there’s something going on between us. And now, every other boy in school will too.”
“I’m never gonna get a boyfriend now, you’ve scared everyone away! But that’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“Y/N, you’ve got it all wrong.” James tries to tell you.
“And all this for what? Because I wouldn’t fuck you anymore?”
“Because I want you!” James finally says.
“What?” you ask breathlessly.
“It wasn’t just sex between us. It never was.” James tells you with a shake of his head, eyes pleading for you to believe him. “I-I want you. I want all of you. I always have.”
You stare at James for a moment, trying to make sense of what he just said.
“Please say something,” he begs.
“What about Lily?” you ask.
James rolls his eyes at the mere mention of her name.
“I can’t stand her.”
“What?” you ask with a surprised laugh. “You flirt with her every single day.”
“Only to keep myself from making an absolute fool of myself in front of you.”
“Come again?”
“You didn’t actually think I fancied her, did you? She’s horrid. Nasty attitude, and way too smug for her own good. Complete opposite of you, actually. That’s probably why I picked her…”
“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” you finally ask.
“I didn’t know how!” James groans, running his hand through his hair nervously.
“You and I, it happened once at a party. And then I wanted to ask you out properly but you were gone. And then it happened again and it just kept happening and I…I wanted whatever part of you that you were willing to give me.”
“James…” you sigh.
“I froze that night in the cupboard.” James continues. “I couldn’t believe that you wanted more from me…with me. You ran out before I had a chance to get my thoughts together. And that day at Hogsmeade, I wanted to tell you then but I- I got jealous and acted like a prat.”
“I don’t believe you,” you tell him with a sad shake of your head. “You said you couldn’t even be friends with me, and now you expect me to believe that you-“
“Yes, that is what I said, but that’s not at all how I meant it. What I meant to say was how could I ever be just friends with you, Y/N? I’m mad for you!” James says, reaching out to hold both of your hands.
“You asked me what I wanted, right? Well I want this. I want you. I know I fucked up, but I’m here now, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“So all those fireworks and the rose petals were?” you ask with a hopeful smile.
“That was me letting everyone know about us. If…there even is an us…” James trails off unsurely.
“Mm, well that depends.” you tell him with a thoughtful tilt of your head.
“On?”
“On you. Will you take me for tea at Madam Pudifoot’s?” you ask him with a teasing smile.
James immediately nods his head, a smile of his own spreading across his features.
“Madam Pudifoot’s, Hogs Head, Honey Duke’s. Whatever you want. I’ll walk you to all your classes and I’ll carry your books for you and bring you flowers every day and-“
“Flowers every single day?” you ask, eyes lighting up in excitement.
“That’s right darling. As my girlfriend you get all of the benefits.” James says with a cheeky wink.
“Does that mean no more meet ups in broom closets?”
“Y/N,” James gasps scandalously. “Are you saying you want to put on a show for the whole student body?”
“No!” you deny, hitting his arm lightly, causing James to chuckle at your reaction. “What I meant was…we don’t have to hide anymore?”
The vulnerable look in your eyes all but breaks James’ heart. Giving you a smile, he nods his head.
“You’re not some easy lay, Y/N. And I’m sorry I ever made you feel as though you were. But let me be perfectly clear, I want you to be my girl. And I want everyone to know it.”
“Yeah?” you ask.
“Yeah. So? What do you say?” James asks, giving you a nervous smile.
“Your little firework show said you were forever mine. I’m holding you to it, Potter.”
Not wasting a second more, James immediately crashes his lips onto yours. When you deepen the kiss, James wraps his arms around your waist, holding you close to him.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed your kisses,” James admits when you finally pull away.
“Lucky for you, you won’t have to go another day without them. As my boyfriend you get all of the benefits.” you say, repeating to James the words he had just told you earlier.
James, realizing what you’re doing, can only smile affectionately at you.
“I’m more than okay with that.” he assures you before pulling you in for another kiss.