BLOOD TYPE
I walked to English in a kind of daze. I didn't realize when I first came through the door that class had already started.
Ms. Mason’s irritated voice was my first clue. “Thank you for joining us, Mr. Lupin.”
Patches of red formed on my face as I hurried to my seat.
It wasn’t until class was over that I noticed McKayla wasn’t sitting next to me like she usually did, and I remembered that I had hurt her feelings. But she and Mary waited at the door for me, so I hoped that meant I would be forgiven eventually. As we walked, McKayla seemed to become herself again, getting more enthusiastic as she talked about the weather report for the weekend. The rain was supposed to take a short break, so her beach trip would be possible. I tried to match her enthusiasm to make up for disappointing her yesterday, but I could tell I wasn’t fooling either of them. Rain or no rain, we would be lucky if the temperature even got close to fifty degrees. Not my idea of a beach day.
The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was hard to believe I wasn’t imagining things again—that Sirius really had said those words, and that his eyes had looked that way when he was saying them. Something about him confused my reality. First I’d thought I’d seen him stop a van barehanded, and now this. The original delusion seemed more likely than the second—that I appealed to him on any level. But here I was, walking into this one with eyes wide open, and I didn’t even care that the punch line was coming. At the moment, it seemed like a decent trade—his laughter later for that look in his eyes now.
I was both eager and nervous when I finally got to the cafeteria at lunchtime. Would he ignore me like usual? Would there be any sign from him that the conversation this morning had, in fact, happened? With a small percentage of my brain I listened to Peter. McKayla had asked him to the dance—I was starting to suspect that she had only asked him out of kindness, or worse pity— and they were going to go with a few others; Alice and Mary, Logan and Taylor. I think I grunted in the right places, because he didn’t seem to notice how little of my attention I was giving him.
My eyes went straight to his table as soon as I was through the door, and then disappointment hit like a punch to the gut. There were only four people there, and Sirius wasn’t one of them. Was he going to disappear every time something significant happened?
Of course, the conversation this morning was only significant to me, I was sure.
I lost my appetite. I grabbed a bottle of lemonade for something to carry and followed Peter robotically through the line, wishing I were the kind of person who could just go home early, the kind who didn’t worry about unexcused absences and detention and disappointed parental figures.
“Sirius Black is staring at you again,” Peter said. I was one hundred percent paying attention as soon as he said his name. “I wonder why he’s sitting alone today.”
My head snapped up and I quickly followed his line of sight. Sirius was sitting at an empty table across the cafeteria from where he usually sat. His teeth flashed as soon as he knew I’d seen him. He raised one hand and motioned with his index finger for me to join him. As I stared, not entirely believing my own eyes, he winked.
“Does he mean you?” Peter asked. There was an insult in his astonishment, but I was past caring.
“Um, maybe he needs help with his Biology homework,” I muttered. “I guess I should go see what he wants.”
I could feel Peter staring after me as I walked away. I could also feel those ugly splotches of red start up my neck, and tried to calm myself.
When I got to his table I just stood there behind the chair across from him, awkward.
“Why don’t you sit with me today?” he suggested through a wide smile.
I sat down automatically, watching his expression. Was this how the joke ended? He hadn’t stopped smiling. I found that I still didn’t care. Whatever got me more time this close to him.
He stared back at me, still smiling. Did he want me to say something?
“This is, uh, different,” I finally managed.
“Well,” he said, and then paused. I could tell there was more, so I waited. The rest of it followed in a rush, the words blurring together so that it took me a minute to decipher the meaning. “I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly.”
I kept waiting, thinking he would explain, but he didn’t. The silence got more uncomfortable as the seconds passed.
“You know I don’t understand what you mean, right?” I asked.
“I’m counting on it,” he said, and then his eyes focused behind me. “I think your friends are upset that I’ve stolen you.”
Suddenly I could feel all their eyes boring into my back. For once, it didn’t bother me at all.
“They’ll survive.”
He grinned. “I may not give you back, though.” I swallowed too loud and he laughed.
“You look worried,” he said.
“No.” I stopped to swallow again, hearing the edge of a break in my voice. “But surprised, yes. What’s this all about?” I gestured toward him and the rest of the empty table.
“I told you—I’m tired of trying to stay away from you. So I’m giving up.” The smile was fading, and his eyes were serious by the end.
“Giving up?” I repeated.
“Yes—giving up trying to be good. I’m just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may.” The smile disappeared completely, and a hard edge crept into his silky voice.
“You lost me again.”
It looked like he found that funny. “I always say too much when I’m talking to you—that’s one of the problems.”
“Don’t worry—I don’t understand anything you say.”
“Like I said—I’m counting on that.”
We stared at each other for a few seconds, but the quiet wasn’t awkward this time. It was more… charged. My face started to get hot again.
“So,” I said, looking away so that I could catch my breath. “In plain English, are we friends now?”
“Friends…,” he murmured. He sounded like it wasn’t his favorite word.
“Or not,” I offered.
“Well, we can try, I suppose. But I’m warning you again that I’m not a good friend for you to have.” His smile was brittle now, the warning real.
“You say that a lot.”
Funny how my stomach was rolling. Was it because I was hungry after all? Because he was smiling at me? Or because I suddenly almost believed him? I could tell that he believed what he was saying.
“I do, because you’re not listening. I’m still waiting for you to hear me. If you’re smart, you’ll avoid me.”
Then I had to smile, and I watched as his smile automatically got bigger in response.
“I thought we’d already come to the conclusion that I’m an idiot. Or absurd, or whatever.”
“I did apologize—for the second one, at least. Will you forgive me for the first? I spoke without thinking.”
“Yeah, of course. You don’t have to apologize to me.”
He sighed. “Don’t I?”
I didn’t know how to answer—it sounded like a rhetorical question anyway. I stared down at my hands wrapped around the lemonade bottle, not sure what to do. It was so strange to sit with him here—like normal people. I was sure only one of us was normal.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
I looked up. He was staring again, his gold eyes curious and—like the first time I’d seen him—frustrated. Once again, my thoughts refused to pass through the appropriate filter.
“I’m wondering what you are.”
His smile tightened, like his teeth were suddenly clamped together, but he held it carefully in place.
“Are you having much luck with that?” His voice was casual, like he didn’t really care about my answer.
My neck got hot and—I assumed—unattractively blotchy. During the last month I’d given it some thought, but the only solutions I could come up with were completely ridiculous. Like Clark Kent and Peter Parker– level nonsense.
He tilted his head to the side, staring into my eyes as if he was trying to see through them, right into my brain.
He smiled—inviting this time, impossible to resist.
“Won’t you tell me?”
But I had to try to resist. He already thought I was an idiot. I shook my head. “Too embarrassing.”
“That’s really frustrating,” he complained.
“Really?” I raised my eyebrows. “Like… someone refusing to tell you what he’s thinking, even if all the while he’s making cryptic little comments designed to keep you up at night wondering what he could possibly mean… Frustrating like that?”
He frowned, his lips pouting out in a distracting way. I worked to hold on to my focus.
“Or is it frustrating like, say, he’s done a bunch of other strange things —for example, saving your life under impossible circumstances one day, then treating you like a pariah the next—and he never explained any of that, either, even after he promised? Frustrating like that?”
His frown twitched, then settled into a deeper scowl. “You’re really not over that yet?”
“Not quite yet.”
“Would another apology help?”
“An explanation would be better.”
He pursed his lips, then glanced past my left arm and laughed once.
“What?”
“Your girlfriend thinks I’m being mean to you—she’s debating whether or not to come break up our fight.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend, and you’re trying to change the subject.”
He ignored the second half of my statement. “You might not think of her that way, but it’s how she thinks of you.”
“There’s no way that’s true.”
“It is. I told you, most people are very easy to read.”
“Except me.”
“Yes, except for you.” His eyes shifted to me and intensified, drilling into mine. “I wonder why that is.”
I had to look away. I concentrated on unscrewing the lid of my lemonade. I took a swig, staring at the table without seeing it.
“Aren’t you hungry?” he asked.
His stare was less penetrating now, I saw with relief.
“No.” I didn’t think it was necessary to mention that my stomach wasn’t steady enough for food. “You?” I looked at the empty table in front of him.
“No, I’m not hungry.” He smiled like I was missing some inside joke.
“Can you do me a favor?” I asked, the words escaping before I could make sure they were allowed.
He got serious quickly. “That depends on what you want.”
“It’s not much,” I promised.
He waited, still guarded but clearly curious.
“Could you warn me beforehand? The next time you decide to ignore me? For my own good, or whatever. Just so I’m prepared.” I looked at the lemonade again as I asked, tracing the lip of the opening with one finger.
“That sounds fair.”
He looked like he was trying not to laugh when I glanced up.
“Thanks.”
“Can I have a favor in return?” he asked.
“Sure.” It was my turn to be curious. What would he want from me?
“Tell me one of your theories.”
Whoops. “No way.”
“You promised me a favor.”
“And you’ve broken promises before,” I reminded him.
“Just one theory—I won’t laugh.”
“Yes, you will.” I had no doubt about that.
He looked down, then glanced up at me through his thick lashes, his gold eyes scorching underneath.
“Please?” he breathed, leaning toward me. Without permission, my body leaned closer to him, like he was a magnet and I was a paper clip, till his face was less than a foot from mine. My mind went totally blank.
I shook my head, trying to clear it, and forced myself to sit back.
“Um… what?”
“One little theory,” he purred. “Please?”
“Well, er, bitten by a radioactive spider?” Was he a hypnotist, too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover?
He rolled his eyes. “That’s not very creative.”
“Sorry, that’s all I’ve got.”
“You’re not even close.”
“No spiders?”
“No spiders.”
“No radioactivity?”
“None at all.”
“Huh,” I mumbled.
He chuckled. “Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either.”
“You’re not supposed to laugh, remember?”
He pressed his lips together, but his shoulders shook from holding the laughter back.
“I’ll figure it out eventually,” I muttered.
His humor vanished like a switch flipped off. “I wish you wouldn’t try.”
“How can I not wonder? I mean… you’re impossible.” I didn’t say it like a criticism, just a statement. You are not possible. You are more than what is possible.
He understood.
“But what if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the villain?” he smiled as he said this, playfully, but his eyes were heavy with some burden I couldn’t imagine.
“Oh,” I said, surprised. His many hints started adding up until they finally made sense. “Oh, okay.”
He waited, suddenly rigid with stress. In that second, all of his walls seemed to disappear.
“What exactly does okay mean?” he asked so quietly it was almost a whisper.
I tried to order my thoughts, but his anxiety pushed me to answer faster. I said the words without preparing them first.
“You’re dangerous?” It came out like a question, and there was doubt in my voice. He was shorter than I was, no more than my age. But he was not normal, and there was no one like him. I remembered the first time he’d glared at me with hate in his eyes, and I’d felt genuinely afraid, though I hadn’t understood that reaction in the moment, and I’d thought it foolish just seconds later.
Now I understood. Under the doubt, outside the incongruity of the word dangerous applied to his slender and perfect body, I could feel the truth of the foundation. The danger was real, though my logical mind couldn’t make sense of it. And he’d been trying to warn me all along.
“Dangerous,” I murmured again, trying to fit the word to the person in front of me. His porcelain face was still vulnerable, without walls or secrets. His eyes were wide now, anticipating my reaction. He seemed to be bracing himself for some kind of impact.
“But not the villain,” I whispered. “No, I don’t believe that.”
“You’re wrong.” His voice was almost inaudible. He looked down, reaching out to steal the lid for my lemonade, which he then spun like a top between his fingers. I took advantage of his inattention to stare some more. He meant what he was saying—that was obvious. He wanted me to be afraid of him.
What I felt most was… fascinated. There were some nerves, of course, being so close to him. Fear of making a fool of myself. But all I wanted was to sit here forever, to listen to his voice and watch the expressions fly across his face, so much faster than I could analyze them. So of course that was when I noticed that the cafeteria was almost empty.
I shoved my chair away from the table, and he looked up. He seemed… sad. But resigned. Like this was the reaction he’d been waiting for.
“We’re going to be late,” I told him, scrambling to my feet.
He was surprised for just a second, and then the now-familiar amusement was back.
“I’m not going to class today.” His fingers twirled the lid so fast that it was just a blur.
“Why not?”
He smiled up at me, but his eyes were not entirely disguised. I could still see the stress behind his façade.
“It’s healthy to ditch class now and then,” he said.
“Oh. Well, I guess… I should go?” Was there another option? I wasn’t much for ditching, but if he asked me to…
He turned his attention back to his makeshift top. “I’ll see you later, then.”
That sounded like a dismissal, and I wasn’t totally against being dismissed. There was so much to think about, and I didn’t do my best thinking with him near. The first bell rang and I hurried to the door. I glanced back once to see that he hadn’t moved at all, and the lid was still spinning in a tight circle like it would never stop.
As I half-ran to class, my head was spinning just as fast. So few questions had been answered—none, really, when I thought through it— but so many more had been raised.
I was lucky; the teacher wasn’t in the room when I ran in late, face hot. Both Alice and McKayla were staring at me—Alice with surprise, almost awe, and McKayla with resentment.
Mrs. Banner made her entrance then, calling the class to order while juggling a bunch of cardboard boxes in her hands. She let the boxes fall onto McKayla’s table, and asked her to start passing them around the class.
“Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box,” she said as she produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of her lab coat and pulled them on. The crack as the gloves snapped into place was strangely ominous. “The first should be an indicator card,” she went on, grabbing a white card about the size of an index card and displaying it to us; it had four squares marked on it instead of lines. “The second is a four-pronged applicator”—she held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick—“and the third is a sterile micro-lancet.” She displayed a small piece of blue plastic before splitting it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach plunged.
“I’ll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don’t start until I get to you.…” She began at McKayla’s table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares of her card.
“Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet.…” She grabbed McKayla’s hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of her middle finger.
“Ouch,” McKayla complained.
Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead and my ears began a faint ringing.
“Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs.…” Mrs. Banner demonstrated as she instructed, squeezing her finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, and my stomach heaved.
“And then apply it to the card,” she finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the humming in my ears.
“The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type.” She sounded proud of herself. “Those of you who aren’t eighteen yet will need a parent’s permission—I have slips at my desk.”
She continued through the room with her water dropper. I put my cheek against the cool, black tabletop and tried to hold on as everything seemed to get farther away, slithering down a dark tunnel. The squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers all sounded far off in the distance. I breathed slowly in and out through my mouth.
“Remus, are you all right?” Mrs. Banner asked. Her voice was close to my head, but still far away, and it sounded alarmed.
“I already know my blood type, Mrs. Banner. I’m O negative.” I couldn’t open my eyes.
“Are you feeling faint?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I muttered, wishing I could kick myself for not ditching when I had the chance.
“Can someone walk Remus to the nurse, please?” she called.
“I will.” Even though it was far away, I recognized McKayla’s voice.
“Can you walk?” Mrs. Banner asked me.
“Yes,” I whispered. Just let me get out of here, I thought. I’ll crawl.
I felt McKayla grab my hand—I was sure it was all sweaty and gross but I couldn’t care about that yet—and I worked to get my eyes open while she tugged me up. I just had to get out of this room before it went full dark. I stumbled toward the door while she put her arm around my waist, trying to steady me. I put my arm over her shoulders, but she was too short to help my balance much. I tried to carry my own weight as much as possible.
McKayla and I lumbered slowly across campus. When we were around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building four in case Mrs. Banner was watching, I stopped fighting.
“Just let me sit for a minute, please?” I asked.
McKayla breathed out a sigh of relief as I settled clumsily on the edge of the walk.
“And whatever you do, keep your hand in your pocket,” I said. Everything seemed to be swirling dizzily, even when I closed my eyes. I slumped over to one side, putting my cheek against the freezing, damp cement of the sidewalk. That helped.
“Wow, you’re green, Remus,” She said nervously.
“Just gimme… a minute…”
“Remus?” a different voice called from the distance.
Oh, please no. Not this, too. Let me just be imagining that horribly familiar voice.
“What’s wrong? Is he hurt?” The voice was closer now, and it sounded strangely fierce. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die. Or, at the very least, not to throw up.
McKayla sounded stressed. “I think he fainted. I don’t know what happened, he didn’t even stick his finger.”
“Remus, can you hear me?” Sirius' voice was right by my head now, and he sounded relieved.
“No,” I groaned.
He laughed.
“I was trying to help him to the nurse,” McKayla explained, defensive.
“But he wouldn’t go any farther.”
"I'll take him," Sirius said. I could hear the smile still in his voice. "You can go back to class."
"No," she protested. "I'm supposed to do it."
Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath me. My eyes flew open in shock. Sirius had scooped me up in his arms, as easily as if I weighed nothing to him and as if i wasn't, like, five inches taller than him.
"Put me down!" Please, please let me not vomit on him. He was walking before I was finished talking.
"Hey!" McKayla called, already ten paces behind us.
Sirius ignored her.
"You look awful," he told me, grinning.
"Put me back on the sidewalk," I moaned. The rocking movement of his walk was not helping. He held me away from his body, gingerly, supporting all my weight with just his arms — it didn't seem to bother him.
"So you faint at the sight of blood?" he asked. This seemed to entertain him.
I didn't answer. I closed my eyes again and fought the nausea with all my strength, clamping my lips
together.
"And not even your own blood," he continued, enjoying himself.
I don't know how he opened the door while carrying me, but it was suddenly warm, so I knew we were inside.
"Oh my," I heard a male voice gasp.
"He fainted in Biology," Sirius explained.
I opened my eyes. I was in the office, and Sirius was striding past the front counter toward the door at the back of the room.
Mr. Cope, the balding receptionist, ran ahead of him to hold it open.
A grandfatherly old man—the school medic—looked up from a novel, shocked, as Sirius carried me into the room.
The crackly paper on the vinyl mattress complained as he put me down.
This reminded me of the time he’d swung me out of the way of the van, and the memory made me dizzy.
“They’re blood typing in Biology,”
Sirius explained to the nurse.
I watched the old man nod sagely. “There’s always one.”
Sirius covered his mouth and pretended his laugh was a cough. He’d gone to stand across the room from me. His eyes were bright, excited.
“Just lie down for a minute, son,” the old nurse told me. “It’ll pass.”
“I know,” I muttered. In fact, the dizziness was already beginning to fade. Soon the tunnel would shorten and things would sound normal again.
“Does this happen a lot?” he asked. I sighed.
“I have a weak vasovagal system.” The nurse looked confused.
“Sometimes,” I told him.
Sirius laughed again, not bothering to disguise it.
“You can go back to class now,” the nurse said to him.
“I’m supposed to stay with him,” Sirius answered. He said it with such confidence that—even though he pursed his lips—the nurse didn’t argue it further.
“I’ll get you some ice for your head,” he said to me, and then he shuffled out of the room.
I let my eyelids fall shut again. “You were right.”
“I usually am—but about what in particular this time?”
“Ditching is healthy.” I worked to breathe in and out evenly.
“You scared me for a minute there,” he admitted after a pause. The way he said it made it sound like he was confessing a weakness, something to be ashamed of. “I thought that Newton girl had poisoned you.”
“Hilarious.” I still had my eyes shut, but I was feeling more normal every minute.
“Honestly,” he said, “I’ve seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your death.”
“I bet McKayla’s annoyed.”
“She absolutely loathes me,” Sirius said cheerfully.
“You don’t know that,” I countered, but then I wondered.…
“You should have seen her face. It was obvious.”
“How did you even see us? I thought you were ditching.”
I was pretty much fine now, though the queasiness would probably have passed faster if I’d eaten something for lunch. On the other hand, maybe it was lucky my stomach was empty.
“I was in my car, listening to a CD.” Such a normal response—it surprised me.
I heard the door and opened my eyes to see the nurse with a cold compress in his hand.
“Here you go, son.” He laid it across my forehead. “You’re looking better,” he added.
“I think I’m okay,” I said, sitting up. Just a little ringing in my ears, no spinning. The mint green walls stayed where they should.
I could tell he was about to make me lie back down, but the door opened just then, and Mr. Cope stuck his head in.
“We’ve got another one,” he warned.
I lurched off the cot to make room for the next victim and handed the compress back to the nurse.
“Here, I don’t need this.”
And then McKayla staggered through the door, now supporting Leann Stephens, another girl in our Biology class. She was currently sallow green. Sirius and I drew back against the wall to give them room.
“Oh no,” Sirius murmured. “Go out to the office, Remus.”
I looked down at him, confused.
“Trust me—go.”
I spun and caught the door before it closed, floundering out of the infirmary. I could feel Sirius right behind me.
“You actually listened to me,” he said, surprised.
“I smelled the blood.” Leann wasn’t sick from just watching other people. Much less embarrassing, I thought.
“People can’t smell blood,” Sirius contradicted.
“I can—that’s what makes me sick. It smells like rust… and salt.” he was staring at me with a wary expression.
“What?” I asked.
“It’s nothing.”
McKayla came through the door then, glancing from Sirius to me and back again.
“Thanks so much for your help, Sirius,” she said, her sickly sweet tone a pretty good indication that Sirius was right about the loathing thing.
“I don’t know what Remus here would have done without you.”
“Don’t mention it,” Sirius replied with an amused smile.
“You look better,” McKayla said to me in the same tone. “I’m so glad.”
“Just keep your hand in your pocket,” I cautioned her again.
“It’s not bleeding anymore,” she told me, her voice going back to normal. “Are you coming to class?”
“No thanks. I’d just have to turn around and come back.”
“Yeah, I guess.… So are you going this weekend? To the beach?” While she spoke, she flashed a dark look toward Sirius, who was standing against the cluttered counter, motionless as a sculpture, staring off into space.
I didn’t want to upset her more. “Sure, I said I was in.”
“We’re meeting at my parents’ store at ten.” Her eyes flickered to Sirius again, and I could tell she was worried she was giving out too much information. Her body language made it clear this wasn’t an open invitation.
“I’ll be there,” I promised.
“I’ll see you in Gym, then,” she said, moving uncertainly toward the door.
“Yeah, see you,” I replied.
She looked at me again, her round face slightly pouting, and then as she walked through the door, her shoulders slumped. Guilt lanced through me, the same as yesterday. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but it seemed like it just kept happening. I thought about looking at her disappointed face all through Gym.
“Ugh, Gym,” I muttered.
“I can take care of that.” I hadn’t heard Sirius walk over, but now he spoke from right beside me, making me jump. “Go sit down and look pale,” he instructed in a whisper.
That wasn’t a challenge; I was usually pale, and the recent episode had left a light sheen of sweat on my face. I sat in one of the creaky folding chairs and rested my head against the wall with my eyes closed. Fainting was exhausting.
I heard Sirius speaking softly at the counter.
“Mr. Cope?”
I hadn’t heard the man return to his desk, but he answered, “Yes?”
“Remus has Gym next hour, and I don’t think he feels well enough.
Actually, I was thinking I should drive him home. Do you mind excusing him from class?” His voice was like melting honey. I could guess how much more overwhelming his eyes would be.
“Do you need to be excused, too, Sirius?”
“No, I have Mr. Goff,” Sirius said. “He won’t mind.”
“Okay, it’s all taken care of. You feel better, Remus,” Mr. Cope called to me. I nodded weakly, hamming it up just a bit.
“Can you walk, or do you want me to help you again?” With his back to the receptionist, his expression turned sarcastic.
“I’ll walk.”
I stood carefully, and I was still fine. He opened the door for me, his smile polite but his eyes mocking. I felt stupid as I walked through the door, out into the cold, fine mist that had just begun to fall. But it felt good —the first time I’d enjoyed the never-ending moisture falling out of the sky—as it washed the sweat off my face.
“Thanks for that,” I said when he’d followed me out. “It’s almost worth getting sick to miss Gym.”
“Anytime,” he promised. He stared past me into the rain.
“So are you going? This Saturday—the beach trip?” I was hoping he would, though it seemed unlikely. I couldn’t picture him loading up to carpool with the rest of the kids from school; he didn’t belong in the same world. But just wishing that he might gave me the first thrill of enthusiasm I’d felt for the outing.
“Where are you all going?” he was still staring ahead, expressionless, but his question made me hope he was considering it.
“Down to La Push, to First Beach.”
I watched his face, trying to read it. I thought I saw his eyes narrow just slightly.
He finally looked up at me and smiled. “I really don’t think I was invited.”
“I just invited you.”
“Let’s you and I not antagonize poor McKayla any more this week. We don’t want her to snap.” His eyes danced, like he was enjoying the idea more than he should.
“Fine, whatever,” I grumbled, preoccupied by the way he’d said you and I. I liked it more than I should.
We were at the parking lot now, so I angled toward my truck. Something caught my jacket and yanked me back half a step.
“Where are you going?” he asked, surprised. His hand had a fistful of my jacket. He didn’t look like he’d even planted his feet. For a second I couldn’t answer. He denied being a superhero, but my mind couldn’t seem to frame it another way. It was like Superman had left his cape at home.
“Remus?” he asked, and I realized I hadn’t answered his question.
“Uh, what?”
“I asked where you were going.”
“Home. Or am I not?” His expression confused me.
He smiled. “Didn’t you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I’m going to let you drive in your condition?”
“What condition?”
“I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you have a weak vasovagal system.”
“I think I’ll survive,” I said. I tried to take another step toward my truck, but his hand didn’t free my jacket.
I stopped and looked down at him again. “Okay, why don’t you tell me what you want me to do?”
His smile got wider. “Very sensible. You’re going to get into my car, and I am going to drive you home.”
“I have two issues with that. One, it’s not necessary, and two, what about my truck?”
“One, necessary is a subjective word, and two, I’ll have Andromeda drop it off after school.”
I was distracted by the casual reminder that he had siblings—strange, pale, beautiful siblings. Special siblings? Special like him?
“Are you going to put up a fuss?” he asked when I didn’t speak.
“Is there any point in resisting?”
I tried to decipher all the layers to his smile, but I didn’t get very far.
“It warms my cold heart to see you learning so quickly. This way.” he dropped his fistful of jacket and turned. I followed him willingly. The smooth roll of his hips was just as hypnotic as his eyes. And there wasn’t a downside to getting more time with him.
The inside of the Volvo was just as pristine as the outside. Instead of the smell of gasoline and tobacco, there was just a faint perfume. It was almost familiar, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Whatever it was, it smelled amazing.
As the engine purred quietly to life, he played with a few dials, turning the heat on and the music down.
“Is that ‘Clair de Lune’?” I asked.
He glanced at me, surprised. “You’re a fan of Debussy?”
I shrugged. “My mom plays a lot of classical stuff around the house. I only know my favorites.”
“It’s one of my favorites, too.”
“Well, imagine that,” I said. “We have something in common.” I expected him to laugh, but he only stared out through the rain.
I relaxed against the light gray seat, responding automatically to the familiar melody. Because I was mostly watching him from the corner of my eye, the rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. It took me a minute to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved so smoothly I didn’t feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.
“What’s your mother like?” he asked suddenly.
His butterscotch eyes studied me curiously while I answered.
“She kind of looks like me—same eyes, same color hair—but she’s short. She’s an extrovert, and pretty brave. She’s also slightly eccentric, a little irresponsible, and a very unpredictable cook. She was my best friend.” I stopped. It made me depressed to talk about her in the past tense.
“How old are you, Remus?” His voice sounded frustrated for some reason I couldn’t imagine.
The car stopped, and I realized we were at Lyall’s house already. The rain had really picked up, so heavy now that I could barely see the house.
It was like the car was submerged in a vertical river.
“I’m seventeen,” I said, a little confused by his tone.
“You don’t seem seventeen,” he said—it was like an accusation.
I laughed.
“What?” he demanded.
“My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year.” I laughed again, and then sighed. “Well, someone has to be the adult.” I paused for a second. “You don’t seem much like a junior in high school, either.”
He made a face and changed the subject.
“Why did your mother marry Phil?”
I was surprised that he remembered Phil’s name; I was sure I’d only said it once, almost two months ago. It took me a second to answer.
“My mom… she’s very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. Anyway, she’s crazy about him.” Personally I didn’t see it, but did anyone ever think anyone was good enough for his mom?
“Do you approve?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I want her to be happy, and he’s who she wants.”
“That’s very generous.… I wonder…”
“What?”
“Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?” His eyes were suddenly intent, searching mine.
“I—I think so,” I stuttered. “But she’s the adult—on paper at least. It’s a little different.”
His face relaxed. “No one too scary, then,” he teased.
I grinned back. “What do you mean by scary? Tattoos and facial piercings?”
“That’s one definition, I suppose.”
“What’s your definition?”
He ignored me and asked another question. “Do you think I could be scary?” he raised one eyebrow.
I pretended to examine his face for a minute, just as an excuse to stare
at him, my favorite thing to do.
His features were so perfect, so symmetrical. His face would stop anyone in his tracks, but it wouldn’t make his run in the other direction.
The opposite.
“It’s kind of hard to imagine that,” I admitted.
He frowned to herself.
“But, I mean, I’m sure you could be, if you wanted to.”
He tilted his head and gave me an exasperated smile, but didn’t say anything else.
“So are you going to tell me about your family?” I asked. “It’s got to be a much more interesting story than mine.”
He was instantly cautious. “What do you want to know?”
“The Blacks adopted you?”
“Yes.”
I hesitated for a minute. “What happened to your parents?”
“They died many years ago.” His tone was matter-of-fact.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t really remember them clearly. Orion and Walburga have been my parents for a long time now.”
“And you love them.” It wasn’t a question. It was obvious in the way he said their names.
“Yes.” he smiled. “I can’t imagine two better people.”
“Then you’re very lucky.”
“I know it.”
“And your brother and sisters?”
He glanced at the clock on the dashboard.
“My brother and sisters, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me.”
“Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go.”
It was stupid, but I didn’t want to get out of the car.
“And you probably want your truck back before Chief Lupin gets home and you have to explain about the syncopal episode.”
He was good with the medical jargon, but then, his father was a doctor.
“I’m sure he’s already heard. There are no secrets in Forks,” I grumbled.
Apparently I’d said something funny, but I couldn’t guess what it was, or why there was an edge to his laughter.
“Have fun at the beach,” he said when he was finished. “Good weather for sunbathing.” he gestured to the sheeting rain.
“Won’t I see you tomorrow?”
“No. Regulus and I are starting the weekend early.”
“What are you going to do?” A friend could ask that, right? I hoped he couldn’t hear the disappointment in my voice.
“We’ll be hiking the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier.” “Oh, sounds fun.”
He smiled. “Will you do something for me this weekend?” he turned to look me straight in the eyes, his own burning in their hypnotic way.
I nodded, helpless. Anything, I could have said, and it would have been true.
“Don’t be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. Try not to fall into the ocean or get run over by anything, all right?”
He flashed his dimples at me, which took away some of the sting of being called incompetent.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I promised.
I jumped out into the vertical river and ran for the porch. By the time I turned around, the Volvo had disappeared.
“Oh!” I clutched at my jacket pocket, remembering that I’d forgotten to give him my key.
The pocket was empty.