Only love can hurt like this
Harry ended up staying at the Leaky Cauldron after his frankly extremely long day.
He was in a two-bed room, as it had been the only room available this late in the day.
Tom Evermore was the owner of the pub and he’d eyed Harry worryingly for a moment before he’d led him upstairs. Harry could tell that if he didn’t have a guardian coming in to check on him by tomorrow, Tom would likely call the Aurors.
He didn’t need that type of attention on him. But that was an issue for tomorrow.
Harry placed his trunk on one of the beds, before he proceeded to ward the bloody living hell out of the room he was staying in. No one could even walk past the room on the outside of the door, without Harry knowing.
He then moved to go down and into his habitable trunk, beginning to put away all his shopping.
His closet certainly had gotten much bigger and his library and potions lab were getting a ton of upgrades.
Sure he was probably the only person alive who had access to a still preserved sixty foot basilisk they’d killed themselves (he might even get himself a second one when he went to Hogwarts), but there were a lot of potion materials he found while wandering through Knockturn alley and Celestial Road.
He flicked a hand, and it changed him into pyjamas instantly. He went through the slow motions of putting things away the muggle way. It helped him not spiral into nothingness.
Hunaria opted to make sarcastic remarks in his ear the entire time, a self-pleased air came about her every time she got him to laugh.
The dragonette hopped around with too much energy. She needed some sleep in Harry’s opinion.
He needed some sleep too.
He was too scared to do that though. Sleep always brought about his most terrifying demons.
Harry quickly begun to pick at the small bowl of vegetable soup he’d brought upstairs with him from the restaurant in the Leaky Cauldron. He’d bought a plate of beef for Hunaria who munched down on it happily. Harry, himself, couldn’t stomach much lately. Especially now that he was in an unknown place, his survival instincts were at an all time high which meant forced starvation, twitching fingers from heightened nerves, and sleepless nights.
All things he’d learned to live with as a general. But as a sixteen year old, he really should be taking much better care of his body.
He didn’t think it mattered though, considering he became a general at fifteen.
Harry was terrible at taking care of himself. He just didn’t know how. His self-destruction was learned behaviour that had become habit at this point.
Harry stares at the soup in front of him silently, his eyes taking in how heartily Hunaria was gulping down her food.
The scene made him smile slightly. Before his smile was falling and his hand was clenching around his spoon tightly in an attempt to control the overwhelming hurricane of emotions he was feeling.
Harry leaves his barely touched bowl to stroll over to the couch. He never slept in the bedroom.
That was Sirius’ room. Not his.
Nothing was ever really his.
Harry stares silently at the ceiling, the greens mixing with the reds so badly he wanted to snort. It had its charm though. He proceeds to actually snort when Hunaria’s tiny body flies towards him and smacks him dead in the face.
“Great landing there,” Harry teases and gets a flick from her tail.
‘ Don’t be rude. You’re my hatching. Not the other way around,’
Harry didn’t bother telling her, she was actually much younger than he was. The dragon would just smack him again.
‘You should get some sleep, Harry,’ She tells him gently, moving to curl around herself, snuggling in the junction on his shoulder.
Harry stares at her silently for a second, his heart suddenly too big for his chest to contain. It was painfully tight and he rubs a hand over his chest to ease the pain.
“Anything for you Hunaria,”
‘ Flatterer,’
Harry, despite his refusal before, finds his body exhausted and his eyes slip shut involuntarily. For the first time in a while, he wasn’t completely alone and Hunaria’s presence allows him to slip into the arms of Morpheus.
Harry had been falling for a while. His vision was pitch black but there was a sense of freedom he was feeling in his eternal free fall. Perhaps if he hit the ground hard enough, he wouldn’t have to relive what he knew would be such a painful life.
Harry wouldn’t even mind if he fell endlessly. The peace was something he hadn’t experienced so truly, so purely in a long long time.
Perhaps he would even fall into Hell. Maybe he deserved it for how many people he ended up failing.
Harry stares into the darkness.
If he died, would anyone even grieve? What if he just ended it all? There was no one left for him anyways.
At least he grieved the deaths of those he loved. Harry didn’t think anyone would grieve him. Harry didn’t think anyone would even miss him.
So perhaps he could just give up?
Perhaps he could simply rest well. Maybe even cease his eternal crying.
Harry wanted to just stop feeling.
He hated it.
Please. All he wanted was to rest.
He’d fought enough.
“HARRY!”
Great, Harry was hallucinating again.
A body slams into his, and he realises he wasn’t free-falling anymore.
“Harry James Potter!!” The voice was stern and familiar and warm and even though it was scolding him, the body hugging his smelt like oranges and textbooks and her hugs were just as warm as he remembered.
“Harry! Look!” Hermione brought a tiny girl from behind her and Harry’s lips began to tremble.
The girl was beautiful. She was around one with wild red curls and bright hazel eyes that were staring up at him in awe. “Her name is Rose Harper Granger-Weasley,” Hermione beams, “We named her after you,”
“Are- are you mine?” Harry stutters out and Hermione’s gaze softens.
“Of course I’m your Hermione silly. I’ll always be yours, dumbie.”
A sob escapes the confines Harry had very meticulously made for his tears and he stumbles, arms wounding tightly around his sister in all but blood.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Harry manages through his ugly sobs. Hermione holds him tighter, arms like vice around him.
“Silly boy. We’ve never left.” She seemed to be holding back her own tears as well. Hermione grabs his hand gently, tugging him along, her daughter tucked gently in her other arm.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” Hermione starts and Harry’s mouth grows dry.
“What do you mean?”
“We refused to move on without seeing you one last time.” She explains and then Harry was seeing everyone he knew, and everyone he loved.
“Hey mate,”
Harry choked and then he was falling only to be caught in the strong arms of his best friend and brother.
“You went and got yourself killed without me, I hate you,” Harry cries and Ron sniffles holding him tighter.
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I didn’t mean it.” Ron kept repeating the words over and over again, rocking his broken friend in his arms as they sunk to the ground in a handful of limbs.
Hermione knelt on the ground beside them, her face blotchy, Rose held between them.
“You were pregnant ?” Harry asks, voice cracking as his heart broke all over again and Hermione croaks out a sob, head bobbing up and down. The three friends just sat there on the floor, embracing after a year of separation.
“Well what are we? Dead meat?” A loud bark of forced laughter makes its way to Harry’s ears.
Harry’s head whips over to Hermione who smiles softly and knowingly. She nods once and that was all the confirmation Harry needed because he was on his feet and running.
Because that was Sirius’ voice.
That was the only parent he’d ever known. Harry slams into his godfather, the impact hard and jarring at his teeth. He clutched onto Sirius’ body with broken sobs that crushed his very soul.
“Hey pup,” Sirius’ voice was wet and the smell of cigarettes and Sirius fills his senses and it was like all his suffering had been worth it because Sirius was there and Harry loved him and Sirius loved him.
“Sirius,” Harry manages in between his keening wails. Harry could only taste ash and fire on his tongue, the pitch of his voice rising sharply. His chest was pounding loudly and it thundered in his ears. Harry couldn’t hear anything else. Wouldn’t hear anything else. His wails rose through the air and thundered against his chest, rattling at his very bones.
He hugged at Sirius so tightly, grabbing and latching onto him with a ferocious intensity that scalded at his palms. It felt like he was burning. He was hugging a star. His star.
His turmoil was a mixture of joy and grief both colliding inside of him like night and day fighting to become an eclipse.
Huge wracking sobs quaked through his body and Sirius clung just as tightly to him as Harry was to him. Sirius brought them gently to the ground. But all Harry could focus on was the fact that his Sirius was warm to the touch and his Sirius had a heartbeat. His Sirius smelled like smoke and musk and expensive perfume.
Sirius held on like he was too afraid Harry would disappear and break at the same time.
“Sirius I’m so sorry. It was my fault. It was all my fault. I didn’t mean to. It was my fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry-” Harry sobs, warbling apologies into Sirius’s skin.
Sirius began to rock them back and forth, soothing his godson the best he could as his own heart broke, tortured eyes on the boy he loved as a son.
Harry’s hand is grabbed gently and his head props up on Sirius’ shoulder only to gaze into identical green eyes staring at him with all the love and all the sadness in the world.
His mother.
Lily Potter had a permanent lump in her throat as she watched her son break in front of her. Her eyes were wide and unseeing, all she desired to do was murder anyone and everyone who had ever harmed her baby.
Harry is strangled by his cries when he glimpses his mother, his eyes blowing out wide and his breathing growing erratic in misery and grief.
“Mum, mum, mum, mum,” His haunted chants would live on in her nightmares but she grabs Sirius and her son in a hug and she holds them tight, never wanting to let go.
Lily knew their time was limited here but she couldn’t help but want as much time with her baby as possible. So she held on and cried just as much as Sirius was and just as much as James was from his form, hugging Harry from behind.
James was shaking, trembling with rage and pain and sorrow.
The nerve endings on Harry’s fingers were absolutely fried and it wasn’t just from crutiatus exposure- it was his heart feeling too much and his brain sending signals rapidly to try to numb things down as much as possible. Because Harry was on his way to a heart attack.
“Harry….” Remus’ voice was steady and calm, his hold on a confused little Teddy tight. It breaks Harry out of his stupor and he stares dumbly at his godson, who had been killed by Voldemort himself in an attempt to trap Harry and force him to surrender. It had worked until Harry found out they’d already killed his baby godson and his sacrifice and the deaths as a result had been for nothing.
“Ted-Teddy…” He croaks and Remus sits beside Lily, Teddy crawling into his Uncle Harry’s lap, tiny arms wounding around his shaking form.
“No one blames you Haz. You saved everyone, you hear me. That man needed to be put down.” Remus says sternly, and he keeps repeating the words again and again until Harry’s foggy eyes start to clear up again.
“We were the ones who sent you to this new world baby,” Lily says quietly to Harry when he finally comes to.
“What?” Harry asks, stunned and Lily smiles, a sad small thing.
“Every person has a number of lives they can have in the reincarnation cycle. Haripreet Peverell is one of yours… just like the Lily Evans in that world is one of mine. And the James Potter there is one of your father’s.” She explains gently and Harry’s mind whirls, hands coming up to wipe at the tears and snot.
“The Sirius Black there is one of mine too pup.” Sirius muses, a hand running through Harry’s hair.
“We’re all the same people Prongslet,” James adds, hand clutching Harry’s other hand. “We just don’t have the memories.”
“We’ve lived on with you Harry. Every step of the way. We watched you struggle and we watched all your pain,” Sirius sniffles, hands hugging his godson to him tighter.
“So we begged the divine to help you. It didn’t take much for them to see you deserved a second chance.” James says good naturally, pride shining in his eyes.
“We prayed you would be given a life where you could live as you please. Without the burdens and responsibilities everyone placed on your shoulders in our world. A world where you could receive love and love in turn.” Remus continues gently, hands running up and down Harry’s legs, a tactic he always used to do, to help Harry through his panic attacks.
“So please baby,” Lily begs, ending her plea with tears in her eyes. “Don’t live for anyone but yourself. And don’t die for anyone either,” Lily holds Harry’s face in her hands urging him to understand with her own matching eyes.
“Did you want to die the night you faced Voldemort in the forest?” James questions in a whisper and Harry’s eyes widen at the confrontation, his grip on Sirius growing tighter. He was in Sirius’ lap and had no intention of leaving.
“I did,” Harry admits in nothing but a hush, his eyes wide as they met the heartbreak in his dad’s eyes.
“You died because it’s what you believed everyone around you wanted. Because you believed it was your only purpose. Because that’s what you always think, you think your life needs to be beneficial to someone. Because everyone around you made you believe that.” James was silently crying, tears running down his cheeks and fogging up his glasses.
“You can’t go down that path in this life Harry. I refuse,” Lily demands, choking on her pleas, “As your mother I prohibit you from repeating those mistakes. Love yourself please….” She wails, “I can’t bear it.” Lily trembles, clutching onto her son with a death grip.
“I-I don’t think I can do that mum. I’m- I’m so sorry,” He manages to say through the tears and Lily purses her lips to keep a scream from escaping.
“Not your fault baby, not your fault,” She stills ends up bawling out.
Harry didn’t know if he could live again without wishing to die. Without wishing everything could have ended the day Voldemort had hit him with that killing curse.
“I’ll try though,” Harry ends up blurting out and his mum’s cries grow so hard she was physically shaking.
“You always do.”
“It’s time to go son,” James says softly and Harry shakes his head desperately.
“No, dad please. Let me stay. I don’t want to go. Please,” He begs, voice cracking and James sniffles.
“You have a whole life ahead of you Haz. Besides we’ll be right there with you son. Every step of the way,” His dad says, grabbing his face much like his mum had done seconds prior.
“Don’t hate us too much for our missed memories eh mate?” Ron smiles sadly at him and he shakes his head.
“Never.” He promises
Harry stares around him with blurred, tearful eyes. Faces filled with tears smile at him. Molly, Arthur, Fred, Bill, Fleur, Charlie and Ginny stood closest to Hermione, Ron and Rose. All were in tears waving and sending him well wishes and love. Neville was there with Alice, his godmother, who stared at him so proudly, and Frank and Augusta who saluted him and Harry couldn’t help the wet laugh that escapes at that.
Dean and Seamus, Patil and Pavarti, Cedric and Cho, Lavender and Colin…. On and on it went. Every person he ever loved, every person he ever cared for, every person he had ever saved were all there smiling and filling his heart with a warm tenderness he’d never felt before.
“We love you Harry,” Hermione says, hazel eyes glowing with tears and happiness. And it was the last thing Harry saw.
Harry startled awake with a bodily flinch that had him flinging himself upwards in his horror.
His body was covered in sweat and he was shaking terribly.
And Harry fell to the floor, heart wrenching cries being ripped from his throat, his arms empty with only the memory of Sirius’ heartbeat under his fingertips.
If the soul could bleed an ocean through the eyes, that was the enormity of Harry’s crying.
He didn’t even get to say he loved them back.
The next morning was only brought about via a hefty amount of pepperup potions. Harry felt terrible and he probably looked it as well.
Hunaria had stood guard protectively the entire night and she gazes at him sadly. ‘Harry get some more sleep,’ She pleads, ‘You have more time until you must hunt,’
Hunaria flies up and plops on the bridge of his nose. Harry’s eyes go cross-eyed trying to see her but his limp, exhausted form on the floor doesn’t move a muscle.
‘Take one of those liquid sleep things,’
“They’re-” Harry’s hoarse voice cracks and he clears it, before giving up and deciding he needed water.
A cup is instantly summoned into his hand and he slowly sits up, the blood flowing back to his head making him a tad woozy.
Harry drinks, the water like laser ice scalding his throat. He could feel the line of cold move down his mouth towards his stomach.
He clears his throat again, because Hunaria was acting like Harry was dying, flying around his head rapidly like some sort of mosquito.
“They’re called potions Hunaria, and stop flying around like that. I promise I’m not dying,” Harry says, hand on his head to try and ease the enormous headache he was feeling.
‘You were in much distress yesterday hatching. Forgive me for being worried,’ She gives a very hurt hmph and Harry’s heart aches just a little more for hurting his precious friend.
“I’m sorry,” He puts his hands out for her to land on and she does so, eyeing him warily. “It’s been a long night,” He admits as she gives him a look.
‘I couldn’t have guessed,’ She says sarcastically and Harry bites out a laugh that turns tortured. Hunaria’s little face falls as her attempt to make him forget fails.
“Sorry…. Sorry,” Harry cries, trying to suppress his desperate weeping, a hand on his chest. Hunaria sighs and motions to the cup of water.
Harry drinks again, ‘ Go have a shower youngling,’ Hunaria tells him and Harry stumbles to his feet. How Harry ended up showering and dressing, he had no clue.
But he did know he looked half insane. He was wearing Ron’s old Chuddly cannons t-shirt and the huge wool knitted sweater that Molly had given him for their last Christmas together. It had the letters; M, A, B, F, C, F, G, R, G, H and H stitched into each of the sleeves. One letter representing each of the people in Molly’s family. Sirius’ way too big leather jacket was propped up on him, tucking him in like it was a blanket. On his feet were Dobby’s knitted socks and he fiddled with Hermione and Ron’s wedding rings on the chain on his neck. His eyes were sore and red rimmed from pretending he wasn’t crying instead of sleeping and his hands kept shaking continuously. As if he needed more symptoms of his repeated exposure to the crutiatus curse.
‘You have a meeting with the sharp nosed one today,’ Hunaria reminds him, from her place curled up on the ridge of his nose.
“I don’t want to go,” He rasps and she shakes her head.
‘You said you’re underage here. It’s dangerous for a baby hatching like you to be without guidance,’
“Hunaria, I’m twenty two. I’m not actually sixteen,”
‘Exactly. Still a hatching. Besides you need assistance. I’m too small to help you when you need it. Hopefully I’ll become big and strong in the future to protect you.’
Harry’s voice gets lodged in his throat. He didn’t want to break it to the dragon that she wasn’t actually supposed to be alive and it was a Potter luck fluke.
Harry decided it was much better to let her have her dreams.
Maybe he’d figure out a way to make her an actual dragon. That way she’d be better protected and free to do as she pleased. If that meant she leave him too, then so be it.
As long as she was happy.
It took him hours to get himself into a semi-presentable state. His long curls were somewhat tamed and he donned the pair of the non-prescription reading glasses his Draco had given him. They were black in colour and framed his eyes quite nicely.
At least the frames would help hide his puffy red eyes.
He was dressed in some of his less classy everyday robes. They were a dark maroon and Harry felt the colour was quite fitting for how bloodthirsty he actually felt.
Harry was up and out of his home, trunk in hand, and he starts to tie up his shoes, and adjust his knives. He still needed to get another wand. One he could use if his ebony one was taken.
Harry decidedly ignores the pinch the Elder wand send his way from its place lathered to his side.
His dad’s invisibility cloak also had decided it missed Harry too much to stay indoors today so his shoulders were just going to stay invisible for the near future.
Great.
He grabs the plate of breakfast laid out for him outside and Harry visibly blanches at the thought of eating anything when he felt so terrible. It was a plate of scrambled eggs with vegetables, with a tiny honeycomb in the corner and some english tea.
Harry eyes the food warily before opting to take a bite of the honeycomb and sipping his tea gingerly. It was still warm to the touch but Harry liked his tea scalding hot, so he pushed a bit of magic into the cup, heating it up.
He sat for a while, simply drinking his tea and watching the people of Diagon Alley slowly start about their days.
It was relaxing in a way nothing had been for a while. And Harry’s hands were still twitching with the memories of Sirius’s clothes and his mother’s arms and Teddy’s blue hair.
They were all apparently the same people.
But they just didn’t have the memories he did. They’d essentially forgotten about anything that made him special to them as Harry. And since they were moving on, Harry doubted he’d be seeing his family again.
Harry didn’t think he could get anyone to actually like him. He wasn’t charismatic and he had no charm at all. He was awkward and lonely and depressed and heartbroken. All he’d ever wanted was a family.
If Death truly cared for him why didn’t she just reincarnate him with the family he wanted so badly.
It would be so hard to become part of a family that was already established, despite how hard he wanted it.
And Harry didn’t want their pity. It would just be the burn on top of the stab and Harry had been burnt way too many times in his short life.
Harry leaves the rest of his breakfast, barely touched and he picks up his trunk and invisibility coat, shrinking them into a protected place in his pocket.
He cleans up the room best he can and then waves a hand down his front to straighten out any creases or distortions in his clothes. Hunaria burrows deeper into his hair as he makes his way downstairs, praying that no one would see him.
He’d already paid for the service yesterday so he could leave any time he wanted.
His luck just wasn’t working today because Tom instantly snaps up when he sees Harry, a wide happy but concerned smile on his face.
“Hello Mr. Evanson. How was your stay? I hope you had a great breakfast!” Tom says eagerly and Harry’s forces his tenseness to ease because any sort of suspicion from Tom and Aurors would be here quicker than he’d be able to blink.
He was a minor after all.
And in the wizarding world, only Harry had been the exception to their care apparently. All he had was the consequences of their neglect and Albus’ manipulative idiot schemes.
“It was really good thank you so much,” Harry replies, a genuine smile on his face in light of Tom’s enthusiasm. Tom had always been kind to Harry.
Harry expected that that sort kindness extended past realms.
“I’m glad sonny,” Tom beams and Harry made to smile and walk away politely, but things weren’t really working out well for Harry today.
“Uh- Just a second son!” Tom exclaims and Harry sighs deeply. He just wanted to leave.
He should’ve thought about the consequences of a minor seeking housing in a pub the night before but he’d been kind of out of it from all the shopping Draco had made him do.
“You have a place to go? I’m just worried you see. I even asked someone to come here who can help you,” He says and gestures to the man sitting in front of Tom on a stool, his back to Harry.
Harry had him clocked the second he walked in the room and did his customary sweep.
What he didn’t have clocked was just who the actual man was himself.
Sirius Black stared down at him with his warm, bright grin and his laughing grey eyes. Harry's heart nearly beat right out of his chest.
Sirius was tall, well-built and frankly handsome. He had fair skin that wasn’t sickly pale and medium length, luscious black hair that wasn’t unhealthy but actually looked like real silk? His hair kind of appeared lighter in the morning sun and his striking grey eyes were trained on Harry, much like he used to do when Harry had done something stupid and Sirius was scolding him. He looked like a typical Black Lord and Harry was befuddled. Sirius did come from nobility as well and he did tend to carry that sort of aristocratic grace he always did as a result of his upbringing, but Harry had never seen him actually thriving as a Black. He’d always despised anything to do with his family.
Harry wondered what had changed.
He was beefier than Harry was used to and was a bit rough around the edges in a way Harry would always expect from his godfather. But his godfather had muscles? Since when was that a thing?
“Oh- I- I don’t need any help though?” Harry embraced the notion of how innocent and adorable he could look when he tried. It was all his mum’s genes.
Sirius and Tom share a look and Harry loathes the fact that it makes him want to race out of the door immediately. Sirius steps up, taking control of the situation and Harry dreads the confrontation with a passion.
“Hey, kid. Have any parents you can floocall?” Sirius asks with a grin that makes Harry want to throw up.
“I don’t actually.” Harry says tightly and the smile on Sirius’ face wavers.
Okay so maybe Sirius shouldn’t have worded it like that.
He internally cringed, knowing Remus would have kicked his ass for the comment if he was here.
“Ah- then uh- any guardians?” Sirius manages to retain his professionalism only it didn’t seem to be working because it seemed like the boy could see through him, by the amused smile on his face.
Sirius didn’t mind really. The poor kid looked much too depressed and stressed.
Harry though, kind of regretted not making a run for it the second he saw Sirius in Auror robes.
“I’m meeting them at Gringotts,” He admits, eyeing Sirius warily because as much as he would always love him, this Sirius didn’t remember Harry.
“I see,” He announces and then moves to hop into step beside a flabbergasted Harry. “I’ll just accompany you then,” He beams and Harry leaned back a little because that was Sirius’ I’m-going-to-do-something-crazy grin.
Harry sighs watching Sirius stroll out of the pub only to look back with his eyebrows waggling on his face.
“Well?” Sirius asks, taking in the rather annoyed expression of the youth’s face.
Harry follows after the man, eyes trained on the non-existent creases on his face and the smile lines around his eyes. A soft smile makes its way onto Harry’s lips.
If all it took to make his godfather this happy, was forgetting his existence? Then Sirius could forget him as many times as he wanted. As long as he remained smiling.
People didn’t smile around Harry that much.
“Listen, I’m between gaurdians at the moment. Gringotts is working on it,” Harry tells Sirius, not willing to disclose any more than that.
Sirius though, wasn’t appeased. “What? Between gaurdians? What about your soulmate? Custody goes to them. You’re what? Like fourteen?” Sirius asks and Harry wanted to smack the man only he missed him too much and all he wanted was another hug.
“I’m sixteen Auror Black,” Harry replies drolly and raises a brow at the hand-in-the-cookiejar expression Sirius wore.
“I didn’t tell you my name though!” Sirius was actually whining and the scene makes him snort, eyes rolling up to ask for patience.
“You’re a member of the ancient and noble house of Black. All Blacks have the same eye colour and usually all have dark hair unless they’re genes are of the recessive nature.” Harry informs him plainly, ignoring Sirius’ baffled look, “Besides you’re wearing the standard Auror uniform. Easy to piece the puzzle together no?” Harry muses making Sirius stick his tongue out.
“You’re a Slytherin aren’t you?” The man grins and Harry shakes his head.
“I’m transferring to Hogwarts for my last year, so we’ll see,” Harry send him a grin and something in Sirius’ eyes soften, his eyes growing a tad keener.
“I see,” He says softly, and Harry doesn’t miss the way his eyes seemed to be taking in anything about him.
What a terrible day to have bloodshot eyes.
“Whose the soulmate?” Sirius asks, and Harry raises a brow.
“Is this an investigation Auror Black?” Harry flashes him an amused grin and Sirius raises a brow, slightly impressed.
“No. No. Not a questioning. Just curiosity,” Sirius drawls and Harry’s nose crinkles. He’d do anything for Sirius but he didn’t know if Sirius was still blinded by Dumbledore’s bullshite. He wasn’t telling anyone of his soulmates regardless.
“I’m going to my next of kin. Not my soulmates. They’re much older than me and I’d like to wait until I’m of age to meet them,” Harry explains, “My account manager is working to make that possible,”
Sirius shakes his head, “Soulmates are Lady Magic’s gift. Your soulmates would love to meet you. I know it.” Sirius instantly takes the multiple soulmate thing in stride. Not a hint of shock in his body language or his eyes. Huh, so it wasn’t as rare as it was in Harry’s world.
Interesting.
“So you’re telling me there has been no cases of soulmate abuse? No cases of underage rape between soulmates? No cases of soulmates murdering one another and then committing suicide right after?” Harry lists off cases from his own world, horrifying cases that still made Harry numb. His voice was dead firm, his eyes staring at Sirius’ continuously widening ones.
“No!” Sirius demands, utterly horrified. “Magic knows if you deserve a soulmate or not. She only gifts them to those who are deserving,”
Harry blinks slowly, knowing better than others how falsely infallible deities actually were. They made mistakes too even if they did seem all powerful and all knowing. The horcruxes were evidence of that.
Sirius looked highly concerned and Harry was in turn a bit troubled about his (and maybe all the people in this world) views about soulmates.
“Even so, incidents like what you’re talking about have never been seen before,” Sirius kneels slightly, his huge hands on Harry’s shoulders and he felt like the actual kid he appeared to be.
“I can guarantee you that there are,” Harry was speaking more emotionally than he would’ve if he wasn’t speaking to his dead godfather. “They might not have been documented. But cases like that aren’t impossible. You’re stupid if you think the world is all flowers and happiness all the time. It isn’t. You’re being naive and you shouldn’t be. Not when you’re an auror.”
Sirius stood frozen staring into the venomous glare of someone too young to look so age weary. He was a bit stuck, standing so still while he thought on how to actually reply to a kid who glared at him like he already knew Sirius wouldn’t side with him. Sirius was gazing at a jaded kid that reminded him too much of his own childhood. And it seemed his previous words might just be an insight as to why.
“Hey…” Sirius says gently, “I know….” He whispers at the boy -Haripreet Evanson Tom had said, “I know,”
All of the fight in the boy in front of him disappears and Sirius felt his heart go out to him. He watches the boy’s eyes flicker up and away from Sirius’s face to the tips of his shoes, a devastated look crossing his face for a second before the boy’s face goes expressionless.
Harry swallows tightly, annoyance and sorrow running through his veins. “Well, you certainly don’t act like it,” Harry manages to say before he was striding away as quick as he could. Harry would religiously deny it until the day he died how he was channeling his inner Draco Malfoy just then.
Sirius stares at the kid’s back warily for a second before he chortles once, hurrying up to walk beside the handsome little guy.
Evanson actually pouts staring at his tiny legs like he’d been betrayed and Sirius barks out a laugh.
The laugh made Harry’s cold cold chest warm up slightly. But Sirius was still staring at him like he was a stranger and Harry was in so much pain he just wanted to die.
“Who is the family that you’ll be living with then? Or do you not know?” Sirius continues like nothing had happened. He was good at that, Harry thought. Pretending like everything was alright when it wasn’t. It was how he had survived so long in Azkaban.
Harry eyed him slightly and Sirius snorted after a minute. “I get it. I get it. I’m a stranger…. You’re definitely a Slytherin if I’ve ever seen one. And my own brother is one.”
Harry gives him a weird look, “An Auror assuming characteristics of someone based on Hogwarts houses. Impressive,” Harry’s tone was entirely sarcastic as he strolled up the Gringotts bank and walked through the main gates.
‘He’svery stubborn. That dog man,’ Hunaria whispers and Harry struggles not to laugh.
Harry pauses in place when he sees the back of a head with red hair he would’ve recognized anywhere.
His parents. With three kids around them, looking around curiously.
Harry felt his already stinging eyes, sting even more with unshed tears.
“James? Lily? What are you guys doing here?” Sirius hurries to follow after him.
“Nah I suspect it’s because you know them,” Harry drawls to the man and he manages a smile at the utter bewilderment on his godfather’s face.
The group was interrupted by Nanook’s voice, “Ah, Mr. Evanson, you’re here. Lovely. Everyone is all present. Follow me inside please,”
Harry, familiar with the goblin as he was his account manager, simply tails after him into the office they’d been in yesterday. He couldn’t really bear to look at his parents… parents who couldn’t recognize their own son.
Nanook gives Harry a respectful nod, as the family of five and even Sirius clambers into the office.
The goblin stares at Sirius with dead beady black eyes that seemed more threatening the longer Sirius took to understand his unsaid statements. Eventually the goblin rubbed at the space between his eyes, sighing in exasperation. “Lord Black please excuse the Potter family and Mr. Evanson. We have matters to attend to.” Nanook says in a droll voice. It seemed most of the goblins were used to the Black Lord’s antics.
“But the Potters are my family!” Sirius demands and Nanook looked ready to call security.
Thank god for James and Lily Potter who could actually read a room.
Harry’s mum gets up, a delicate smile on her face and hands up to try and keep the peace. “Sirius, of course you’re our family. But this issue is related to Mr. Evanson who is a minor and reigns rights to his privacy.” Lily explains delicately and Harry tries not to smile at the massive pout on Sirius’ face.
Harry sighs, mimicking his account manager in trying to rub away his headache.
‘Are you sure you want to live with these people?’ Hunaria mutters and it took every once of power Harry had not to burst out laughing.
“Seeing as Lord Black is so close to you anyways, I assume you might let it slip to him our business together anyways. So I see no problem in him being here,” Harry offers and it was almost worth the large grins his parents and Sirius send his way.
Nanook was blinking slowly, “Harry, we can always just call your soulmates.” The goblin seemed to be rethinking Harry’s safety with his family and the actual reality of it was making Harry want to burst into hysterical laughter that would most probably end with him in tears.
“Harry? Your name is Harry too?!” A little girl with red hair and hazel eyes stares up at Harry in wonder.
“It’s a nickname,” He says gently to the younger girl who looked so much like his mum it made a lump grow in his throat.
This was his little sister. She barely looked older than five.
“Oh, our son’s nickname is also Harry! What a small world,” His dad lets out a laugh that Sirius grins to, but his mum- his mum has her eyes lasered to his face. Her eyes were drinking in his features and narrowing ever so slightly in thought.
“Coming back to the topic of our discussion,” Nanook drawls, “Let me make introductions. This is Haripreet Lilian Jameson Evanson and he is a minor in need of a home. The Potters are the next of kin to Mister Evanson by means of Lady Potter.” Nannok nods at Lily whose eyes had grown wide.
“Harry. This is Lord Potter, Lady Potter and their Heir Charlus James Potter. The Potters have two other children as well including Scion Hadrian James Potter and Scion Evangeline Euphemia Potter.” Nanook motions to them one by one and Harry nods, getting up delicately to greet his family properly.
“Well met,” He nods, giving them all the customary bows and greetings.
James stands up and greets him back, a welcoming smile on his face. “Well met,” James acted like a proper Lord would, seeming to lead by example as the rest of the family followed through with the formal greetings. What honestly surprised him was the presence of Charlus Potter, the twenty-one year old heir who had red rustic hair like Harry’s maternal grandmother used to have and bright hazel eyes just like dad did.
The Harry of this world was younger than him, apparently in his fourth year at Hogwarts and looked up to his older brother badly.
And Evengaline (named after said maternal grandmother) was too cute for words.
Their magic was vibrating erratically and all three of the Potter Scions seemed to be excited about the following proceedings, even Charlus who appeared like he was trying to look as put together as his dad was, had magic that was lunging happily towards him and back, like a giggling gaggle of girls.
The magic around James and Sirius was much more controlled and their magic was actually a complete opposite to their personalities. Their magic matched in a way actual brothers’ magic sometimes did and it was calm. Harry could tell their magic seemed to adore him on the spot. The whispers and whisks of magic whirled around him in a gentle greeting and Harry let his tightly compressed and contained magic out a smidge to greet the warm magic of his father and godfather.
His mother’s magic was already embracing him warmly and it was taking everything in him not to cry. Because the second he’d stepped into the room with her, his mom’s magic had turned frantic latching onto him with a fevor, and refusing to let go.
It was probably why she was gazing at him so intently.
Harry couldn’t seem to look at her though.
“How are you related to me?” Lily asks suddenly, directly after the formalities were over.
“Harry is the godson of your muggle aunt Madison Evanson. He was taken in by her after his parents passed. Unfortunately Miss Evanson passed away this past year,” Nanook says firmly, and Harry was really glad, because he hadn’t made a cover story yet. His account manager was really on top of his game.
“His parents?” Lily mouths the word. Her eyes train on him like lasers and she shakes her head. “No. No. I want the truth,” She demands and everyone stills.
“What?! Lily flower? What are you talking about?” James demands, getting up as she does. Harry stares at his mother in disbelief. Could she actually tell he was her son?
Harry turned to look at Nanook whose eyes were narrowed deep in thought.
“James,” Lily grabs her husband’s hands.
“His name is Haripreet,” She demands, eyes whirling around. Lily Potter had seen the slight, underfed, broken child in Gringotts and her magic had lurched out of her like a rocket, engulfing the child in a way it only did with her own children. Her heart had leapt into her throat the second she’d seen little Haripreet and Lily found she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Her chest was cracking and her breathing was slight.
“James,” She pleads, “Those are my eyes. Mine.” She cries and hurries over to kneel in front of Harry, whose eyes were tearing up slightly. His expression remained blank, however, and it hurt her heart.
“You’re mine. I don’t know how. I don’t know why. But I know my magic claimed you the second you walked into Gringotts. You have James’ hair and his nose and you have my chin and my eyes and my jaw. Your cheeks are all my mum’s though,” Lily lets out a wet laugh.
Harry was trying not to tremble but his mum was here, and alive and she knew him. She knew he was hers and that was really all it would take to ruin Harry’s fine control.
“You can’t know that.” He croaks out and she gathers his hands in hers,
“I do!” She demands, her green eyes searching his but they were firm in her belief and Harry knew Lily Potter was just about the most stubborn and strongest person Harry knew.
Harry could tell everyone was now eyeing him with a new awareness that hadn’t been there before. It was hopeless to try and hide it now, not if he wanted his family. Not if he wanted to stay away from his soulmates until he was ready.
Harry swallows heavily, moving out of his chair to kneel slowly beside his mother on the floor. His lips were trembling slightly even if he was pursing them tight.
“Mum,” Harry scolds with a laugh, “You’re making it really hard to have a secret identity here,” Harry continues his smile, watery with tears gathering in his eyes and Lily bursts into tears.
“I knew it , I knew it. You’re mine.” She sobs and brings him closer to her chest, holding him like he’d disappear any second. “Baby what did they do to you?” She wails and Harry chokes on a sob, head burrowing into his mothers chest.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
This was supposed to be a happy world. A second chance for his parents to live a long and fulfilled life. And he goes and bloody makes his mum cry the first time they meet.
James was shaking and he was staring between Sirius and his wife, with wide eyes.
“What- what is going on? Sirius we couldn’t have had a child we didn’t know about?!” James’ voice went high pitched but Sirius was sniffling at the scene, because the words Haripreet had told him half an hour before were still running in his head. He’d been planning on investigating the kid’s home life and it seemed like he’d be doing just that.
Even Nanook seemed to be discreetly using a napkin to act like he was blowing his nose. He wasn’t though.
“Dad?? Mum?” Charlus asks, a bit freaked out. “What’s going on?” He hisses at his younger brother who shakes his head just as stumped as Charlus was.
“We have a new brother, silly,” Evangeline looked at them like they were dumb. “It’s obvious,” She rolls her eyes very exaggeratedly and James lets out a hysterical laugh.
“Congrats Jamsie,” Sirius sniffles and James places a hand on his chest, deciding to just accept all of this. “Yeah okay,” He murmurs and hurries to crouch beside his bawling wife and a child who’d latched onto Lily like he’d never felt a mother’s love before. The scene made him blink tears out of his eyes but he gently moved the two into more comfortable positions.
When they were all cried out, he’d try to make sense of things.
Although, James was already planning on how to decorate a fourth bedroom.