The burning sensation won’t cease, Regulus logically knows this, but why does the fuzziness in his head intensify?
Why do the voices get louder?
Why is he no longer in the cave?
Regulus turns around to see Sirius, dressed in a shiny suit and a sword in his hand, standing side-by-side with Bellatrix, bickering about one thing or another, as they usually would as kids.
Another round of the potion slides down his throat, the burning sensation becoming increasingly more painful.
The scene becoming more vivid alongside it.
“You’re always the knight, why can’t I be the knight?” Bellatrix scowls.
“Because, I’m a better knight than you are.” Sirius taunts.
“Are not”
“Are too”
“Are not”
“Are too!”
“Are-“
“Quiet!” Andy snaps, “you can both be knights, I’m sure it’ll take more than one of you to take Reg and I down anyway, right Reg?”
He had forgotten how warm her smile was, how it could light up a room.
The scene around him changes, melting into New Year’s Eve two years later, when Sirius would’ve started Hogwarts. They were at a boring party as always
Bellatrix however, pulled him aside from the party into a private room, the Nursery room.
“There is a reason as to why your brother isn’t here, although my dear aunt and uncle don’t dare to admit it, he is a blood-traitor Regulus, and you are to stay away from him. Understood?” Bellatrix demanded, it was the way she had always been. You could never refuse Bella.
But…Sirius? He couldn’t leave Sirius, never.
“Sirius isn’t a blood traitor. The Sorting Hat made a mistake Bella, Sirius will come to his senses and he’ll get resorted. Mother said so!” Regulus argues.
“So naive aren’t you Regulus? The people he mingles with, Cissa told me all about it.” Bellatrix tsks.
“Who? Who does he talk to? He won’t tell me anything” Regulus is begging for a scrap of information on Sirius.
“He hangs around Mudbloods and Half-Breeds Regulus. Blood-Traitors such as himself like The Potters.” Bellatrix sneers.
He has grown accustomed to the potion by now, the pain was like a sensation at the back of his mind, present but he’s unaware.
Grimmauld walls surrounded him now, looming over him like a bad omen.
“Come with me Reg. You can’t stay here, it’s not good for you. You’re smarter than this.” They were standing in the middle of their childhood Nursery, the finest toys almost mocking them with their lack of their previous childhood innocence. Sirius has a duffel bag over his shoulder, and Regulus can see that Sirius has packed him one too. Sirius is persuading, Regulus admits.
But, Mother has better methods.
“You are no brother of mine. You are a disgrace to this family, a stain on this house!” Regulus sneers.
“So you believe in all that Toujours Pur bullshit then?” Sirius spits.
“And so what if I do?”
What if he doesn’t?
“So this is what you’ve been waiting for then? You want me out of the way so that you can hog all of Mothers’ attention and praise? Well good, you can take it”
Please don’t leave.
“Good! I never needed you anyway, you were just bringing me down.”
“Well run off and join your death eater friends why don’t you? But don’t come crying to me when you get your hands dirty” Cold. That’s all that radiated Sirius in waves.
“Rather them than you! You’ve forgotten your family, practically ignore us at school and you run off to your filthy friends’ house every other week”
Sirius’ wand is suddenly inches from Regulus’ face.
“Don’t you ever come near me or my friends again. You are nothing to me, you hear that? Nothing.”
And just like that, Sirius was gone.
When did it become so hard to breathe?
god he hoped Sirius would forgive him.
When did the light stop breaking through the surface?
does this make up for his sins?
When did the hands cling to him so tightly?
maybe Sirius would think of him kindly in death.
Exhale.
No inhale, just endless water.
Choking.
Drowning.
Darkness.
When Sirius was hiding in Grimmauld Place almost 17 years later, the house was silent. The only sounds was the echoing laughter of ghost children in the Nursery Room.
Maybe Azkaban did drive him mad.