It's scary growing up,
especially alone.
It was over, they had told her, finally over.
The war was over, and they had won. Everything was over. So how come Mary still felt like they had lost? Lost too much for this to be a true victory. For how could they call it a victory when there were still funerals to attend, still darkness in corners and cobwebs on laughter?
How could it be a victory if Mary could still remember? Remember when everything had been so much easier? When all they had to worry about was their marks and classes. When the light in everyone's eyes hadn't yet been put out and smothered. When they were happy.
It had only been four years, not even, since they had graduated.
Eighteen and recruited to fight for a war. Twenty-one and dead.
They hadn't even had a chance to grow up yet - truly grow up, not the twisted, cruel reality that had forced them to push aside the fact that they were teenagers, and get ready for a war - and now they were all gone. All gone, save for one.
And the shadow of one person, in particular, haunted her.
The one person who had looked, and seen, truly seen Mary, and loved her despite of it. The one person who Mary had always thought of as forever.
Lily Evans.
She could still remember the shade of Lily's hair. The fierce determination in her eyes. She could still remember the pain etched on both their faces as Lily whispered, goodbye. She could still remember Lily and James' wedding. Perfect couple, a perfect family. She could still remember slowly distancing herself from them.
She could still remember the warmth of Lily's touch, the taste of her on her lips. She could still hear Lily's voice in her ears, lazy murmurings after a night spent with each other. She could still remember the guilty glances shot her way as James leaned in close, apologies drifting through the air as she stared at the couple.
She could still remember what her love felt like.
She could still remember the promises they had made.
Hidden tears in the washroom, soft sobs echoing through the empty space. Insults and curses travelling through her mind, a broken record that wouldn't stop repeating.
"Hello?"
Footsteps.
"Mary? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"No, you're not. But that's okay."
Lily sat down next to her. "I'll stay with you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Late nights in the astronomy tower, wrapped in blankets. Fingers intertwined.
"I feel like this is a dream." A soft confession.
Lily laughed, and smiled, "Why?"
Emerald green eyes met honey-coloured ones.
"It's too perfect."
"That's okay. Sometimes dreams can become reality. This one's going to stay real. It has to."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Stolen kisses in hidden corridors, silencing charms and giggles as they stumbled, drunk.
"I think I love you." Mary smiled, leaning in close.
"Don't think. Know."
"I know I love you.
"I love you, too." Lily leaned against her, running a hand through soft, dark curls, "I'll always love you."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"
We'll be okay, right?"
Late at night, a whisper from Mary had Lily turning around. "Of course," She hummed, "We'll always be okay. We're together, aren't we?"
Mary stiffened.
"Always?"
"We're going to grow old together, and return to dust together. I'm never letting you go."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"I want you to die before me." A selfish thought, spoken aloud in a room made for them.
Lily tilted her head, "Why?"
"Because, I don't think I'll live without you."
"You will."
"Survive, maybe. But live? No."
"Then we'll die together."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
Except, they forgot, most promises were made to be broken.
The memories reached out to her at night, when everything else was revealed to be only dust, and she remembered that she was the only one left. Not the strongest, the smartest, or even the most cowardly. But the one who knew how to fade away. Ironic, wasn't it?
"They told me it was over, yet how could it be over when I still have the scars?" A soft whisper into the night, a stare at the stars that illuminated the sky. A lone shadow falling over the lake, hiding the lily petals that slowly floated away.
A sigh, a tear, and a withheld scream.
There was rage left in her. A dying shout of anger. A streak of fire. A mere remainder of what Lily had loved her for. Justice, hope, love? If there was no one to give it to, what was left but an empty body?
Was it worth it? Was it worth giving away her life? Was it worth turning away when they needed her the most? Was it worth the end of the war? The lives given away to an unworthy cause? Was it worth being the pawns on a chessboard, never knowing when you would sacrifice, but always knowing it would come?
Mary knew the answer. In her mind, in her heart. Flowing through her blood and sewn under her skin. The shadow that followed her, a soft whisper behind her whenever she walked, and tickle in her dreams during the rare nights asleep.
And perhaps there was a part of her, deep down, that also knew, if she could bring her back, no sacrifice was too small. Perhaps even the world should burn for what they had done. Perhaps.
Maybe if Fate wasn't determined to drive them apart, if Fate weren't so cruel and unforgiving. Maybe if they had just tried a little harder, held on a little longer. Maybe if it hadn't been written in the stars.
Or maybe this was just the end.
The end of her story, and the beginning of someone else's. For without her, who was Mary?
The war is over. The war is over. The war is over.
But was it truly?
For how could the war be over, when Mary was the only one left?
Slowly growing older.
Alone.