Back in Black
The blinding light filtered through the domed glass ceiling high above, her eyes fluttering open and squinting as the rats of sun hit her. Ash groaned as she stirred from her restless slumber, her body aching from the uncomfortable position in which she had slept. She stretched, feeling the stiffness in her muscles, and let out a long sigh, twisting her neck side to side to work out the kinks.
Her stomach grumbled in protest, a deep ache settling in her lower abdomen. When was the last time she had eaten anything substantial? She thought about it for a moment, blinking the sleep from her eyes. It had to have been at least a day. Yesterday she had sustained herself on whiskey alone, which accounted for the blistering headache forming behind her temples.
Ash turned her gaze towards the ceiling and ran a hand through her tangled hair, hoping to conjure a comforting breakfast to start her day. She forced her thoughts into the space, picturing a variety of food items. She waited for a moment, frowning when the Room didn't supply anything. She tried again, focusing on something specific— toast. However, the room remained silent, unyielding to her desires. A frustrated huff escaped her lips, of course the Room is getting involved. It could— and had— supplied her with food in the past, but this morning the semi-sentient space had it's own ideas.
She grumbled under her breath about it, knowing she'd have to go to the Great Hall for food. As she rose from the armchair, the Room responded in its mischievous manner, placing a clean set of clothes on the nearby couch along with a hairbrush. Ash rolled her eyes, recognizing the Room's attempt to nudge her towards presenting a more put-together appearance. "Very funny." She muttered, a touch of sarcasm lacing her words.
With a sigh, Ash made her way towards the Great Hall, her nerves fluttering within her chest. It had been weeks since she had joined her peers for a meal; instead meals times were spent isolating herself in the cocoon of her solitude. She had grown accustomed to the silence, finding solace in the darkness of her thoughts and the quiet corners of the castle. But today, she felt a flicker inside to break free from her self-imposed exile. Perhaps it was Sebastian's visit yesterday, strained as it was. If she went to breakfast, maybe she would see him again. Maybe he would look at her, with those eyes she could never read.
As she approached the entrance to the Great Hall, the murmur of students' voices grew louder, intertwining into a symphony of bustling activity. Ash's eyes scanned the familiar space, taking in the clusters of students seated at their respective tables. Her heart lodged in her throat as she spotted Natty, who gave her a wave from the Gryffindor table.
She let out a resigned sigh but mustered the courage to join her friend. With each step she took, her nerves danced like fireflies, uncertainty weighing upon her. The Gryffindor table came into view, and she found an empty spot next to Natty. Taking a deep breath, she slid onto the bench, her eyes avoiding the curious glances cast her way.
"Hello, Ash!" Natty greeted with a warm smile, trying to alleviate the tension. "Glad you decided to join us today."
Ash offered a small smile in return, appreciating Natty's attempt to bridge the gap that had formed between them. "Yeah, it's been a while," she replied, her voice rough with sleep and disuse. The familiar sights and sounds of the Great Hall both comforted and overwhelmed her, reminding her of the a past she no longer connected to.
As she reached for a piece of toast, her fingers trembling slightly, her gaze wandered across the Great Hall, finally settling on Sebastian at the Slytherin table. He sat next to Ominis, though they didn't seem to be speaking. She let out a small breath, at least Sebastian had forgiven him it seemed. A pang of longing and regret tugged at her heart as she observed them, acknowledging that their reconciliation had finally come to pass. Of course it had only taken a few days to fix the patch in their bond. They had known each other for years. She was the outsider, the one who'd forced herself into their duo. She averted her eyes, focusing instead on her plate of toast, the lump in her throat growing heavier.
As she replayed yesterday's conversation with Sebastian, Garreth slid into the seat across from her, his playful tone seeming slightly forced. "You didn't come by my room last night. I'm a little disappointed," he remarked, a hint of teasing in his voice. The realization hit her like a wave, crashing against the walls she had built around herself. She had forgotten about her promise, and anxiety gnawed at her from within. She hadn't really wanted to go, but if she skipped out on Garreth too often, she worried he would rescind their deal. Then what would she have?
With a sigh, Ash offered a half-hearted apology. "Sorry, Garreth." she replied, her voice tinged with weariness. It was the best she could offer. She wouldn't bother with an excuse, not when she was sure she looked hungover enough for him to guess how she'd spent her evening.
He gave her a small smirk, reaching across the table to brush her hand with his fingers as he grabbed some toast from the middle. He pulled the toast to his lips as he spoke, "No worries, you can make it up to me later." He winked at her and she felt a pang in her stomach but she nodded slightly.
Natty, always attuned to the dynamics within their group, sensed the tension and interjected, "Have you heard about the Slytherin party tonight? First party of the year. It's fantasy themed." she said, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
Ash's hesitation was palpable as she wrestled with the conflicting desires within her. The last thing she wanted was to be thrust into a crowd, drowning in the sea of faces and the clamor of celebration. "Oh-I...," she responded with a hesitant frown. "Parties aren't really my thing." The answer was halfhearted, and her eyes darted to the table as she waited for Natty's disappointment.
She was telling the truth. Students were invited to House parties once they reached their fifth year, but Ash was always too busy then to join and once sixth year hit the last thing she wanted was to be in a crowd. She was hardly ever in Gryffindor tower anymore but she definitely found some place else to be whenever the common room was hosting a get-together. And the slytherin party? Forget it. Her eyes darted back towards the brunette across the hall then, her gaze dancing over his messy hair and she watched him lift his glass to his lips.
She spoke again softer, another excuse leaving her lips, "I don't even have anything to wear."
Natty leaned in closer, her voice filled with determination. "Don't worry about that. Poppy and I will find you something amazing to wear. You deserve a night of fun." she insisted, her gaze unwavering.
Her eyes darted away from Sebastian and towards Natty, hesitation clear in her eyes. There was no pity in her dark brown eyes, no disappointment. Natty looked at her with resolve, as if determined to help Ash see herself the way she did.
Garreth chimed in with a mischievous grin, trying to persuade her further. "Come on, Asha. It could be a chance for you to let loose. Get drunk, dance like no one's watching, and maybe even throw a punch if you're feeling feisty." He suggested, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
Garreth might usually be oblivious to most of her desires, I mean Merlin— he didn't even realize her hatred of her full name, but he at least understood her constant state of inebriation better than most.
Reluctantly, Ash considered their words. The prospect of escaping her own thoughts— and the wallowing hole she had turned the Room into— even if only for a night, had a certain allure. Perhaps a temporary reprieve from the weight of her emotions could offer some respite. With a mix of hesitation and resignation, she finally relented. "I'll... think about it," she agreed, her voice laced with uncertainty.
Ash finished her small breakfast, not feeling nearly as hungry anymore with the weight of this conversation. Natty and Garreth were brimming with excitement at her tentative agreement to attend the party, and she couldn't help but feel a mixture of nerves and anticipation gnawing at her insides. Leaving the Great Hall, she glanced back and caught Sebastian's eyes on her, his gaze lingering as he conversed with Ominis. A fleeting moment passed between them, laden with unspoken words.
With her nerves mounting, Ash made her way back to the Room of Requirement. The weight of her decision to attend the party pressed upon her, amplifying the intensity of her emotions. Taking a deep breath, she knew she needed a moment of solace before stepping into the chaotic realm of festivities. She whispered to the Room as she stared at the scorched walls.
"Are you happy now?"
In response, the scorch marks began to fade away but she spoke quickly, "Leave it." The Room hesitated and she didn't really know why the words left her so quick— why she didn't want the Room to wash away the remnants. She turned away from the walls— her eyes lingering on the bottles in the corner and she let out a sigh, "You can get rid of those though."
Before the words had fully left her mouth the bottles disappeared and she ran a hand across her face and sank onto the low couch against the wall. She leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling, her eyes trailing over the dead greenery. In the silence she could hear the roar of the burning magic under her skin. Always there. Always wanting more.
One breath
Two breaths
She sat there for the next few hours, her eyes glazed as she tried to push the magic down, down, down. For once she couldn't stand the oppressive silence of the Room. How could emptiness feel so heavy?
She stood from the couch and pushed through the door, taking a deep breath as she stood in the empty hallway. If she wasn't in the Room...where could she go?
Her feet started walking before she knew where she was headed and before long she stood at the bottom of the stairs of Gryffindor Tower. Apparently her feet had made the decision for her. She let out a breath and bit her lip. At least Natty would be excited.
Ash walked through the portal door into the common room, her eyes dancing over the few students milling about. She walked quietly and quickly through the room, keeping her head down. She entered her dorm room that had become an unfamiliar space. Cressida Bloom seemed taken aback by her sudden arrival though she turned her eyes from Ash quickly, they had never been particularly close. Natty beamed at Ash's entrance, immediately sending an owl to Poppy with the Gryffindor password, to join them so they could get ready together.
When Poppy arrived, the two of them embarked on a whirlwind of outfit options, trying on various ensembles in search of the perfect attire for the party. Ash stood in the middle of the room, watching as they rushed around, her fingernails digging into her palms. The room buzzed with excitement and anticipation, each garment bringing a different energy to the mix. Poppy handed Ash multiple dresses to try of differing colors, while Natty applauded and gushed at each one.
Ash had considered something from her favorite book to match the fantasy theme, though she assumed a half-dead monster who terrorized an entire village would draw more attention than she wanted.
Amidst the fashion frenzy, Cressida walked over to the mirror and handed Ash a black tulle gown with two leg slits, a subtle suggestion that caught her attention.
"Black's more your color, Cendrillion." She gave her a small smirk before turning back to her closet and pulling out a velvet blue dress for herself.
Poppy chimed in as Ash held the skirt against her body, her eyes were filled with kindness. "I think Cressida is right Ash!"
Natty rapidly agreed, turning from her own mirror as she slipped into a long crimson dress that made her eyes sparkle.
Ash sucked on her teeth at the thought. She walked towards her side of the dorm, listening to the girls chatter excitedly at their own attire. She stepped behind the dressing screen and slipped into the costume. Natty handed her a pair of black heels over the screen as she change making Ash chuckle lightly.
When she stepped out and caught her reflection in the mirror, her eyes widened slightly and she couldn't help but feel a flicker of satisfaction.
The ensemble accentuated her features, and for the first time in a while, she saw a glimmer of beauty staring back at her. Ash's dress was a striking creation, a vision of dark elegance that seemed to flow from a realm of shadows. The gown was made of layers of fine black tulle, each one more delicate than the last, creating an A-line silhouette that cascaded down from her fitted bodice to the floor in ethereal waves. The fabric moved like mist, swirling around her legs with every step, catching the light in subtle, almost spectral glimmers.
The bodice was intricately detailed, its corset-like structure forming a perfect contrast to the flowing skirts. Black lace wound up from the waist, weaving intricate patterns across her torso and up to her collarbones, leaving just enough skin exposed to hint at mystery. The neckline was a gentle plunge, with sheer tulle sleeves that draped down her arms like wisps of smoke, giving her an almost otherworldly grace. The sleeves themselves were loose and flowing, falling to her wrists with delicate embroidered vines twisting through the fabric.
At her waist, a thin satin belt of the deepest black cinched the gown, accentuating her figure and offering a touch of structure against the otherwise free-flowing material. The belt was fastened with a small silver clasp shaped like a crescent moon, adding a subtle touch of fantasy to the ensemble.
As the tulle skirt flared out, the slits in her legs allowing more skin to show than a proper lady would ever dare, it created the illusion of floating, giving her the appearance of gliding rather than walking. The hem of the dress barely brushed the floor, its layers whispering as they moved, like something out of a dark fairytale. The dress shimmered with an almost magical quality, catching the low light of the room and reflecting it in mysterious, muted tones that hinted at enchantments unseen.
A creation from an Edgar Allan Poe novel, though Ash doubted Cressida's had considered the muggle author when picking a fantastical dress for Ash to wear.
As she scanned herself, her eyes lingered on the faint scar across her right cheek, and she swallowed lightly, memories washed over her of that night in the Undercroft begging Ominis to heal and help her—
Poppy let out a squeal of excitement and hugged her from behind and she tensed for a moment before a soft smile spread across her face.
"You look incredible!" Poppy's smile was heard through her voice and Natty came to stand beside them, beaming at Ash. "She's right my friend, you are stunning." Natty voice soothed her fears for a moment and she smiled softly at her through the mirror. God she missed them— really missed them, and for a moment things felt... normal.
Cressida came around from her dressing screen in her tight blue dress, her dark hair flowing down her back— stunning, she was stunning. Cressida gave her a grin as she saw the dress. "Told you Cendrillion, black's your color."
And Ash couldn't help but grin back.