Ashes and Dust

The Room of Requirement was shrouded in shadows, the dim light of the moon seeping through the domed window at the ceiling. For any who knew of its' existence, the Room was a sanctuary for those seeking solace, a place where desires took form. A place where memory could be washed away, if one tried desperately enough. 

Ash sat huddled on a worn-out armchair, a bottle of firewhiskey clasped tightly in her trembling hands. Most of her peers would be out celebrating tonight—the first week of seventh year over. There would likely be a bonfire by Black Lake, and students lost in their cups. Hugs would be given, stories of summer holiday swapped between friends. The amber liquid swirled within the glass, mirroring the tumultuous storm brewing within her. Each sip offered temporary respite from the memories that haunted her—memories of battles fought, lives lost, and the dark magic she had taken from the ancient repository under Hogwarts.

The Room had once been a vibrant place, the pink and gold walls dripped in vines, potion and herbology tables constantly brewing and growing items for adventures. It had taken all of fifth year to decorate the glorious chamber, and all of sixth year to destroy it. The Room had long since lost its glow, the wallpaper peeling and vinery hanging dead. 

Ash could see a mirror image of herself in the whiskey— green eyes, once fierce and full of determination, now clouded with a mix of drunken stupor and anguish. Over a year had passed since the climactic battle against Ranrok, and yet, the scars—both visible and hidden—remained etched upon her soul. The loss of her mentor, Professor Fig, had left a void. Another life lost because of her. Another death staining her hands.

The rift that had formed between her and her closest friends, Ominis and Sebastian, was another wound that refused to heal. She sat reminiscing as she sipped from the bottle. 

Ominis, with his sharp intellect and unwavering dedication, had always been the voice of reason amongst their trio. But after Sebastian's slip and fall into dark magic— and the subsequent death his uncle— Ominis had accused Ash of enabling him, of encouraging his descent into the dark arts. In an act of misguided protection, Ominis had forced Ash to stay away, a painful decree that tore at her soul. 

Sebastian, on the other hand, was unaware of the truth. He remained oblivious to Ominis's machinations, carrying the guilt of his actions alone. It was a guilt that gnawed at his soul, forever tainting the bond between him and Ash. He believed she hated him, unable to fathom the real reason for her absence from their lives. As if she could ever hate him. The thought caused her to snort, the sound violently out of place in the silent air. 

The door to the Room of Requirement creaked open, causing Ash to jolt upright, her heart pounding. 

It had to be a professor. No one else knew of her hiding hole— the place she spent days at a time without emerging. And shit— if she were caught in this state, not even her moniker of 'Hero' could protect her. She hastily concealed the bottle of firewhiskey, wiping away the stray tears that had escaped down her cheeks. 

Light footsteps echoed in the otherwise silent room, growing louder with each passing moment. And then as if conjured from her memories, they emerged from the shadows—Sebastian and Ominis.

Her heart skipped a beat as the other two halves of their trio stepped inside, shutting the door behind them. Her stomach was lodged in her throat. How the rutting hell did they know she was here? Dread mingled with the remnants of her shattered hopes. She clasped her hands on her lap, forcing the trembling digits to stillness as she took in the figures she'd avoided the last year and some change. 

Sebastian's face remained a mask, but she knew him well enough that she recognized the anger simmering beneath the surface. His brown eyes, once warm and familiar, now held a distant glint of resentment. She took him in, he wore a white button down, the collar unbuttoned with his slytherin tie lazily wrapped around his neck. He had grown a few inches since fifth year, Ominis too. He looked older, harder, the light purple circles underneath his eyes darker than they were fifth year. She wondered if ghosts haunted his dreams too. 

"Didn't realize we were interrupting something," he muttered, his voice laced with bitterness as he took Ash in, the half empty bottle of firewhiskey beside her on the floor half-concealed by her leg. 

Ominis stood beside Sebastian, his features heavy with what looked like regret. But Ominis was almost always harder to read than Sebastian, a feat she never fully achieved Unlike Sebastian, Ominis' mask was porcelain, like a china doll whose emotions lay deep beneath the surface. His head turned towards Ash briefly, his face carrying a silent plea for understanding.

Ash kept her face neutral, swallowing hard before speaking in a hollow voice, "How did you find me?" She was thankful she hadn't had enough liquor that her words tumbled together, she didn't think she'd survive the shame of it.

The look on Sebastian's face at her words was enough to send her into a spiral, their presence here making her itch to take another sip. To forget. To sleep the only way she knew how. 

Sebastian scoffed, his face set in a hardened gaze towards the wall behind her. Not his decision then, to be here. She turned her attention to Ominis, hollow eyes landing on his face. Ominis cleared his throat, his voice strained as he spoke, "I overheard Professor Weasley fifth year, mentioning to you about using the Room for your studies." he saw Ash's face tense at this revelation and he let out a sigh before continuing, his hands nervously brushing against his well-pressed trousers, "The information wasn't pertinent until... well... now." 

Ash stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to continue. She dared a glance back to Sebastian. His face was tense, his eyes flickering from the back wall to her once he noticed her attention. She quickly looked away, down at the glass of whiskey in her hand. When the silence stretched on too long she croaked out in a low voice, "What do you want?" Ominis could likely hear the unsaid words—

Why would you come to me? Why after everything? What more is there to take?

She was so tired. So, so tired of everything and here was half of her pain— standing right in front of her and she could barely stand to look at them. She heard Sebastian huff a dark laugh before he spoke. 

"Really? After everything that's what you have to say?" 

She dared to look back at his face and she could see the resentment lining his features. This was so unfair. She had committed sins in her life, but was it enough to deserve the hatred of the one person she needed like oxygen?

She bit her lip, looking back down at her lap as the whiskey glass shook in her hand. She could feel the roil of the magic in her blood. She choked on it, forcing her lungs to cooperate. 

One breath 

Two breaths

The magic simmered down long enough for her to speak in a low voice, "What. Do. You. Want?"  Her words were punctuated, a plea to Ominis to leave, to get Sebastian away from her because this was torture. It was one thing to see his resentment from a distance, in the hallways when she dared to venture to a class, but here? Where she was cornered like an injured beast? The magic stirred again and she pushed it down— down deep. 

Sebastian let out another scoff and she heard the rustle of his clothes as he crossed his arms, her eyes still focused on the glass in her hands thinking that maybe if she took another drink— maybe the magic, maybe her mind, would quiet again. 

"I told you this was a worthless idea Ominis." 

Venom laced Sebastian's words and she winced slightly.

"Ominis this isn't fair." She couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. Her voice shook and she took another drink from her glass, draining it before she shakily stood from the armchair. She stumbled slightly, though she hadn't had enough to trip over her words, it hadn't been her first glass today. She walked slowly to the bookcase on the wall, no longer filled with the books she loved during fifth year. Instead, bottles of varying size and potency sat haphazard on the shelves. 

Something stronger, maybe that would help. She reached up and grabbed a bottle of Dragon's Breath. So what if they saw her drinking? She couldn't stoop lower in their gaze anyway. 

Before Ominis could reply, Sebastian spoke and she didn't have to turn around to know his hands were clenched at his side. She could imagine his head was tilted ever so slightly to the right as it did when he would get angry. 

"Fair? You know what isn't fair Asha?" She winced at the name, the full name she resented, "You abandoning us, after everything. You just walking away." Bitterness laced his every word and she swore she heard a footstep as if he wanted to walk closer, but stopped himself. Ominis tried to intervene, always the middleman between the two of them. Ice to their fire. 

"Sebastian that—" Sebastian cut him off before he could finish. 

"No Ominis, it's bullshit that she walked away and you know it." She couldn't stop her hands shaking as she uncorked the bottle and took a long drink, savoring the burn down her throat that smothered the burning in her veins. She stared at Ominis, waiting. His face was tensed as if trying to decide if they should just leave. When he didn't respond she couldn't help herself, the turmoil inside of her over-spilling like the bottle in her hand. 

"Ominis this is not fair and you know it." She hated how her voice trembled, how it caught in her throat. She wasn't prepared for this today, wasn't prepared to see Sebastian so close and see the fiery anger in his eyes. 

Ominis snapped his attention to her again, she saw him swallow and open his mouth to speak but she wasn't done. How could he? How could he bring Sebastian here, after what he made her say to him?

"I don't care what you came here for. I am not helping you with anything until you tell him." Her words were sharp. She was done— done with the lies and the games. It had been over a year of dealing with this guilt alone and if he was going to shove Sebastian in her face like this... then she was done. 

Ominis paled at her words and she saw Sebastian snap his head to Ominis in confusion before he spoke in a low voice. "Ominis, what is she talking about?" 

The tension in the air was palpable. Ominis stood silently, the only sound in the room was everyone's breathing. Ominis pursed his lips and turned his head in Ash's direction, clouded eyes looking just over her shoulder. His face held a mix of disbelief and disappointment, unable to fathom why she would put him in this position. She wanted to laugh. 

Sebastian, ever perceptive, noticed the unspoken connection between them, an undercurrent of shared knowledge that had eluded him. His face hardened, "Ominis what did she mean by tell him." His words were calm, too calm compared to his tensed jaw. Sebastian sought knowledge over anything, and to be left in the dark—

At Ominis' continued silence Sebastian turned his gaze back to Ash and his voice turned sharper, his frustration growing. "What aren't you telling me, Ash? Speak up."

Ash remained silent, her eyes fixed on Ominis. No, he made her do this. He deserved to be the one to tell him. To clean up his mess. She took another sip, feeling the fiery liquid burn her throat, hoping it would numb the itching magic beneath her skin that threatened to break free more and more as the tension grew thicker in the room.

Ominis sighed heavily, resolve snapping under the fraying weight of silence, his voice was strained as he spoke. "I told her to stay away Sebastian." 

At Ominis' words, Sebastian head whipped back to him in disbelief. The silence was thick as Sebastian stared at him. His face turned from disbelief to despair to anger in a matter of moments and before he spoke Ominis continued, trying to calm the storm before it broke. 

"I believed that Ash's presence was fueling your obsession with the dark arts." His words were fast and clipped, "She enabled you Sebastian, and after everything that happened with you uncle," Sebastian flinched at this and Ash tightened her grip on the bottle, "I couldn't let you slip further down that path. I couldn't let you go to Azkaban and I made the decision." He took a breath before he continued, "Ash agreed to it—"

She snorted at his words, agreed was a strong word. When she had stumbled into the Undercroft that night, the night after she tortured and killed Rookwood, she was looking for Sebastian. Her shoulder was broken, and the gash across her cheek was bleeding nonstop. She unfortunately found Ominis instead and before he healed her, he forced her to tell him what happened. She tried to spare him the details but he took her wand casting 'Prior Incantato' which revealed the unforgivables she had used on Rookwood. It was the final straw for him. 

She still remembered how his voice broke as he yelled at her, the way he made her promise to stay away from Sebastian because she was poison for him. She remembered sobbing, not from the pain of her wounds, but because she knew Ominis was right, she still begged though— begged for him to tell her anything else but that. Begged like a dog thrown on the street. But he wouldn't budge. He would protect Sebastian from Azkaban, but only if she stayed away.

Ominis continued after her interruption, "Ash did agree to it. She knew she enabled you which was the last thing you needed after everything that happened." The silence was so loud after he finished. Ash could feel her heart breaking in her chest all over again at the look on Sebastian's face, the betrayal lacing his features as Ominis' words sunk in. He turned to Ash, his eyes boring into hers, his voice low, "You went along with this?"

Ash's voice was barely a whisper as she looked up at him, her eyes filled with the pain she had been holding for so long. "Sebastian, I—," her voice was shaky as she continued, her eyes falling away from his towards the floor, "I didn't want to but... Ominis... was right." Her voice was barely a whisper as she finished. That's what hurt the most, not just losing Sebastian this last year, but the fact that she knew Ominis was right about her— she was poison. She had never balked at Sebastian's quest, never questioned his justifications, hell— she wanted to learn the unforgivables. She had never been afraid of his darkness and she sure as hell had never been afraid of him. 

Sebastian's anger twisted into a mixture of betrayal and hurt. "So, you were willing to sacrifice our friendship? To believe I was a monster? I thought you knew me better than that."

Ash finches at that word. Monster. That's what she had called him when she severed the ties, knowing it would break him. It broke her too. Of all the nightmares she had, Sebastian's face that night haunted her the most, more than any blood on her hands. 

Ominis, realizing the magnitude of the damage caused by his actions, reached out a hand. 

Toward Sebastian.

 "Sebastian, I'm sorry— I thought it was the only way to protect you."

Sebastian recoiled from Ominis' touch, his voice dripping with venom. "Protect me? This wasn't protection, Ominis. It was manipulation. I never asked you to try to save me."

Ash's heart ached as the heated exchange unfolded before her. She longed to intervene, to explain the depth of her own pain, but the weight of her guilt held her captive. She drank another swig from the bottle. Numbness was better than this. 

Sebastian's anger swirled, his frustration tinged with sorrow. He shook his head in disbelief and anger. 

"I guess our warning can wait." 

He turned and stormed out of the Room of Requirement, leaving Ash and Ominis behind. The weight of their fractured friendship hung heavy in the air, suffocating Ash with a sense of despair and—and what did he mean by 'warning?' 

Ominis, defeated and filled with regret, turned to Ash, his voice strained. "Asha, I never wanted things to turn out like this." 

Ash's eyes were blank, hollow, as she stared at the empty doorway through which Sebastian had just stormed out. The pain of losing her best friend once more cut deep, reopening wounds that had never truly healed. She took a deep breath, her voice tinged with a mix of sadness and resignation. "I know Ominis."

Without another word, Ominis turned away, his footsteps echoing through the Room of Requirement. Ash watched him go, her heart sinking further into despair. The silence that followed was suffocating, broken only by the sound of her own uneven breaths.

Left alone in the wake of their broken friendship, Ash clung to the bottle of Dragon's breath, seeking solace in its numbing embrace. She took a long drag from the bottle, the taste cutting through the numbness and serving as a bitter reminder of the pain she sought to escape.

Tears welled in Ash's eyes as she replayed the shattered pieces of their friendship in her mind. The memories of laughter, shared secrets, and the unbreakable bond they once shared haunted her. Now, she was left with a deeper void, a fresh wound that seeped with betrayal and abandonment.

As the drink dulled her senses, Ash's mind wandered through the labyrinth of her thoughts. The roiling fire of magic beneath her skin, ever restless, yearned to break free. A reminder of the power she possessed, the weight of that power now seemed both a burden and a reminder of her isolation.

Lost in her thoughts, Ash whispered into the empty room, her voice laden with sorrow and frustration. "This isn't fair." The room offered no answers, no solace. It simply absorbed her words, mirroring her pain. Ash took another drag from the bottle, the burn in her throat matching the ache in her heart. The room seemed to close in around her, the weight of her loneliness pressing down upon her shoulders. With the last drag from the bottle, Ash slipped into a numbing oblivion stuck between remincing and forgetting.