She looked out the window. She had forgotten how long she had sat in front of it. She remembered seeing the first drop of rain falling upon the bed of tulips outside and the moment when the drizzle turned into a shower.
However, she had lost track of time.
The chirping of a bird attracted her attention and she lifted her gaze until she found it sitting on one of the branches of the pine tree next to the flower garden. She watched it until the robin took flight, disappearing into the background of grey clouds and curtains of rain.
Silence prevailed again. And she continued to wait.
~-0-~
If someone asked her when she saw changes, she would tell them "I don't know." In reality, she honestly did not know how to answer that question.
She had no idea if they were asking about her.
Or about him.
A long time ago, memories had been bottles of sweet wine. They had been placed carefully in boxes and stored away in the back of her mind, waiting for the day when she decided to sip, taste, and savor them. Until she realized that she had stowed them away for too long. The acidic taste of vinegar filled her mouth, causing tears to fall whenever she tried to find solace in those memories.
The moment she decided to allow Harry, Ginny, and Draco to travel back to the future without her, she knew she had chosen the wrong path. Yet, why she chose to continue walking down that road was a question she could not answer.
With a slam, the door closed. She whirled around, looking at the man she loved with all her heart. As if he did not notice her, he walked straight to the staircase.
The flicker of hope that had appeared when she heard him enter diminished when another slam resounded throughout the house and the door to the library blocked her view of him.
She was once again left alone in the deafening silence as layers and layers of barriers continued to build up between them.
~-0-~
He sat across from her at the dinner table. She bit her lower lip, wishing for the silence to end.
Those dark eyes that used to glint whenever they landed on her no longer acknowledged her presence.
Those long, slender fingers that used to play with locks of her bushy hair remained still.
That face which used to momentarily soften when he looked at her remained cold and distant.
She felt as if she was dragged into a never-ending abyss of sorrow and pain. Silent screams filled her mind, but there was no one there to save her.
When was the last time he had said something to her? She almost had the absurd feeling that she was about to forget what his voice sounded like.
"Tom," she called out softly.
He glanced upwards at her and she felt as if she had been splashed with cold water.
Almost as if he was looking at a stranger…
A bitter smile appeared on her lips and she shook her head. Without a word, he resumed eating as if nothing had happened.
She gazed at him, almost wanting to ask him to call her name, just so she could hear it from his lips again. She wanted to ask him if he still remembered her.
The night, however, ended without another word being spoken.
~-0-~
They sat in front of the fireplace, a scene that was so familiar and so different to her. The flames were crackling so merrily in the fireplace, just like the previous winters. He was sitting in his armchair with a book propped on his knees while his fingers leafed through them.
For the millionth time, she wondered if she was the one who changed. Her concentration had not been on the books since many moons ago, something that would bewilder those who knew her well enough. She remained in her seat, unmoving, staring at him, wishing that he would look her.
And yet he did not notice her.
The painful memories of how they would debate over books and laugh over ridiculous theories flooded her mind, blocking her airway and nearly suffocating her. She mentally reached out to him, wishing for a simple action of acknowledgement to soothe her pains.
She felt another stab in her heart when he stood up from his chair, replaced the book, and walked out of the living room.
He had left without saying a word again.
~-0-~
She sat next to the window, watching him as he wrote something from behind his desk. She had been in the room for over an hour and he had not raised his head from his work or even nodded to her.
Suddenly, she felt her vision blur. The tears fell on her hand before she realized that she was crying. She stared at the tears on her fingers, studying them, wondering why she was crying. She had thought that her heart was already numb from the pain she had endured. Nevertheless, the more she thought about it, the more tears fell from her eyes, until there was a noticeable patch of wetness on her robes.
She turned towards the window, refusing to let him see the tears.
"Hermione."
She immediately turned around, thinking that he had called her, only to find that he was still concentrating on his work. She leaned back in the armchair and closed her eyes, trying to remember that faint smile on his face when he called her name, but found that she could no longer remember that.
A pained look appeared on her face. She opened her eyes, looking at the man who handed her so much happiness but bestowed on her so much grief. She stood up from the chair and walked over to him slowly, all the while memorizing every feature of his face and stature.
With both of her hands, she cupped his face and turned it towards her, asking him millions of questions with her eyes but not with her mouth. His dark eyes stared into her brown ones in silence.
Do I know you…
Then, she dropped her hands to her side and walked out of the study.
It was only in the hallways when she finally crouched down on the floor and allowed the tears to fall again.
~-0-~