Aunt Marge, a Very Ordinary Cat, and The Night Bus
“Harry!” Petunia called over the doorbell, “Harry!”
From his vantage point at the top of the stairs, Thanos watched as Harry, quickly followed by Percy, bound down the stairs and into the front hall. Where Petunia, standing stiffly next to an equally stiff Dudley, was flicking a bit of fluff off the boy's sweater. With a cross glower at Harry and a strained twist of her mouth at Percy, she jerked her head to the door.
“Well, go on,” she snapped, “open it.”
Thanos watched as Harry reached to open the door, Percy shuffling awkwardly off to the side. All pretenses of playing nice with guests, Thanos thought, did not last very long in this household. Before Harry could do much more than touch the knob, the door burst open, and in walked a large waddling woman and her large waddling bulldog. Privately, Thanos could see the family resemblance they had with the equally large Dudley and Vernon and knew that meant the day was going to go horribly. He only hoped that meant he was able to stop playing the cat much sooner than expected but knew enough that his luck was not that great.
Thanos watched for a moment longer as Vernon walked into the house next out of the rain, lugging a horribly large suitcase behind him. While Petunia and Marge exchanged pleasantries–if that is what they could be called–Harry had turned to Percy and whispered something that caused him to snort. Immediately Marge turned to the two and stared them down with an impressively deep scowl.
“Still here, are you?” She asked Harry.
“Yes,” he replied and shared a glance with Percy. Thanos thought the look was one of long-suffering and had to agree. She had only just arrived and already was a handful, and any dog called ‘ripper’ was bound to cause chaos. Or serious bodily harm–by order or otherwise.
“Don’t say ‘yes’ in that ungrateful tone,” she snipped and gestured with the hand not clutching the dog’s lead. “Damn good of my brother to keep you, if you ask me.” With a huff, she stopped, stared at Percy, and started to berate the laziness of his mother for shipping him to stay on the goodwill of her brother just because she doesn’t have the backbone to deal with a ‘delinquent’ like him.
Thanos, still out of notice of the dog for the moment, could see the exact moment Percy went from being ‘amusedly’ polite to being ‘dangerously’ polite. And that, he thought, was never a good thing. But he did not move, only continued to observe with the resignation that he would be ready to interfere if the situation called for it. Namely, if there was a high chance Percy was about to commit murder.
“It’d have been straight to an orphanage if either of them had been dumped on my doorstep,” Marge boasted as she turned to her brother and Petunia–disregarding the fact that Percy’s mother was still alive. Percy had tightened his fists in response and was only kept from reacting much more than that by the hand Harry put on his arm.
The chuckle that sounded from the living room, where Dudley had wandered off to sometime before, was enough to distract Marge from her barrage of insults. Thanos watched in disgust–and reluctant amusement–as she turned and flashed a thick stack of pound notes to the large boy and called out: “Is that my Dudders! Hm? Is that my neffy poo? Come and say hello to your Auntie Marge.”
Thanos’s disgusted amusement only rose when Dudley obediently waddled forward with a hand stretched out like a child many years younger than he was. Or, as Thanos couldn’t help but think wryly, like a well-trained dog.
With that, and the intensity that Ripper was sniffing Harry and Percy’s ankles, Thanos took his leave and slipped back into Harry’s room to read some of those magical textbooks unhindered. By the looks of things, it appeared as if Harry and Percy would be occupied well into the evening, though Thanos made sure to keep the soundproof spell and alerting ward up. He had no desire to be ‘found out’ as it were without a good reason but saw no reason why he needed to stay as a cat the entire stay.
~
“...it all comes down to blood.” Marge was saying when Thanos wandered back downstairs while dinner was being cleared away. “Bad blood will out. What is it the boy’s father did, Petunia? I already know Percy’s father is a good for nothing that didn’t even stick around,” she scoffed, “serves his mother right after everything she did.”
“Nothing,” said Petunia irritably. “That is…he didn’t work. He was unemployed.”
“Of course. And a drunk, I expect–”
Thanos was shocked when it was Harry that cut off Marge with a visceral declaration that that was a lie. For all that he had only just met the boy, he had considered him to be a calmer sort. At least in comparison to Percy’s volatile personality–a courtesy of the sea god–though Thanos now considered that the depth of his wrath was something shared with his mother’s side as well. A dangerous observation he hoped was baseless.
“What did you say?” Marge questioned with a scowl as her hand flexed around a glass of brandy.
“My dad wasn’t a drunk.” Said Harry and before Thanos or Percy could so much as twitch, the glass in Marge’s hand shattered in an explosion.
Immediately came the cut-off screams of shock and looks of befuddlement–albeit replaced quickly with looks of understanding and that weird mix between anger and fear–and a distraction big enough that no one noticed Thanos slink down the stairs to sit in the kitchen doorway, closer to the action.
“Not to worry Petunia. I have a very strong grip.” Marge simply laughed the situation away.
“You go to bed,” huffed Vernon, looking from Harry to Percy and back again, “both of you. Now.”
“Quiet Vernon. It doesn’t matter about the father,” Marge interrupted with a careless wave of her hand, going back to the conversation as if nothing had happened. Thanos could see that this was leading nowhere good fast and jumped onto the kitchen counter–for all that he loathed the idea of interfering, and in turn having to deal with all that came with it, he resented the paperwork that came with an unwarranted murder. “In the end, it all comes down to–”
“Knowing when to shut up?” Thanos purred.
The effect was immediate and, if Thanos was being honest with himself, deeply amusing and satisfying. First, Percy gave Thanos a rather good impression of someone deeply disappointed with the turn of events, only a small upturn of his lips belaying his amusement. Secondly, Harry gave Thanos and in turn Percy, considering looks that were just slightly on the wrong side of betrayal. Though Thanos could see the quick flash of a pained understanding go through his eyes. And thirdly, Petunia, Vernon, Dudley, and Marge, all promptly gave exclamations of shock and moved to express their distaste. And just as quickly found themselves without much to say.
“Now, why don’t you and Harry run up and get your things together?” Thanos addressed Percy with as big of a grin a cat could give, flicking his tail amusedly as the disgruntled teen herded his cousin out of the room with a promise to explain everything. “And you little Dudders,” Thanos dropped his grin and straightened his posture with a glare, “why don’t you run along and leave the adults to talk, hm?”
“Adults!?” shouted Vernon, the shock of a talking cat quickly wearing off at the prospect of disrespect to ‘the man of the house’. At least that this what Thanos liked to think was the trigger–more amusing, “You think I’m gonna let one of your kind command me about? In my own home? You have another thing coming!” He stood up and waved his fist at Thanos, further breaking Marge and Petunia out of their own shock. Dudley had quickly and not too quietly ran out fo the room into the living room.
“What is the meaning of this Vernon!?” Marge shouted in outrage and Ripper barked at her feet, attempting to jump at where Thanos was perched just out of reach.
“The meaning of this Marge is that you disregard anyone and everyone that doesn’t fit into your little image of a perfect family–which in and of itself is twisted–and while you are entitled to your opinions,” Thanos barred his teeth and–with little regard now to the laws of the Wizarding World–jumped from the counter and shifted to his humanoid form. “That does not mean you can use them to hurt or belittle others. That is the mark of the ignorant and I have little to no patience for those types of people. Though as much as I would love to show you all exactly what I am capable of,” Thanos looked from a pale-faced Marge to a gaping and stuttering Vernon and Petunia with a glare before sighing tiredly, “that would lead to far too much paperwork that I really don’t want to do.”
“Yeah, cause that’s the only reason,” Percy smirked as he came back into the room, followed by Harry who, Thanos could see, had left his trunk at the bottom of the stairs.
“Come now Percy, if they had actually acted on their mistreatment in front of me then I would have no choice really but to take action.” Thanos could see Vernon’s face reddening though he could not tell from what emotion it stemmed from. “As it stands, they are not permitted to remember or, at the very least, understand what has occurred, so we best be off. I’m assuming you have a place in mind, Harry?”
With a stutter, Harry confirmed he had an idea of where to go and ushered Percy out of the house. Thanos turned to the once again speechless mortals and with a final click of his tongue and a snap of his fingers, turned and, mid-stride, turned back into a cat and followed Harry and Percy out of the house.
“So where to next Harry?” Thanos prompted as he caught up to them at the end of the drive.
“Oh uh, the Leaky Cauldron probably,” said Harry, gesturing for them to move further down the street. “We’ll have to catch the Night Bus so we can’t be too close to the muggles.”
“Muggles?” asked Percy, “wait. Night Bus?”
“Mortals,” amended Thanos as he trotted after them. “And consider the Night Bus like the taxi–chaotic and not bound by the laws of physics but will get you where you need to go for a price.”
“So you call muggles, mortals?” Asked Harry, before he abruptly paused and looked at Thanos and Percy with a slightly panicked look, “you are both wizards right?”
Percy opened his mouth, paused as well, and turned to Thanos with a hum.
“After a fashion,” Thanos settled on, hoping up onto Percy’s shoulders once more. “I’ll explain more once we get somewhere safe for the night and before I leave.”
“You’re leaving?” asked Harry.
“Is it something I said?” joked Percy, though his tone was subdued.
“I agreed to stay for as long as Percy was staying with mortals or muggles rather,” Thanos explained, “and now that he is not, I’ve no more reason to stay.”
“That’s fair,” muttered Percy as he prompted Harry to continue forward.
They came up to the bus stop and sat down to wait for the Night Bus–which Harry had called–when they noticed the bushes across from them start to rustle. Percy was quick to stand and put his hand in his pocket around Riptide while Harry held his wand out in front of him, both at the ready. Thanos merely hopped off Percy’s shoulders and sat on the ground in front of them as a large black dog walked out of the shadows.
Though whatever its plan was–though Thanos suspected it was not as nefarious as the two teens thought given the lack of outward aggression–was quickly foiled when the Night Bus finally arrived. And with bewildered curiosity at how fast the dog disappeared, Harry and Percy were quickly ushered onto the bus by Thanos and soon on their way to the Leaky Cauldron and to a conversation none of them were looking forward to.