Frauds
Hermione looked in disbelief at the letter in her hand. She peeked over at the one Harry was holding and it said the same thing. Ron too was holding his letter and he looked quite like how she was feeling - stupefied.
“Kingsley, I don’t want it,” Harry’s voice was steady. He seemed to have gotten over the shock the quickest.
“What do you mean Harry?” Kingsley now mirrored Ron’s look.
“I don’t want it,” Harry said as he slid the letter back to Kingsley.
“You don’t want it?” Kingsley asked.
“No,” Harry replied with surety.
Kingsley looked at the two teenagers standing behind Harry.
“And you two?”
Ron put his letter on the desk over Harry’s. Kingsley looked at Hermione. Hermione realised that she is just looking at her two boys and hadn’t said or done anything. She too quickly put her letter on the desk too.
“You guys I don’t have time for this,” Kingsley said as he rubbed his eyes tiredly. “This is not up for discussion. It’s an honour that is bestowed by the Wizarding community. We don’t just hand over the Order of Merlin, First Class to just anyone. It is already announced. The ceremony for the medals is planned to happen during the memorial. You don’t have a say,” Kingsley got up.
Harry opened his mouth to protest. Kingsley stopped him.
“It really isn’t up for a discussion Harry,” Kingsley thrust the letters back in Harry’s hand. Kingsley started walking out of the classroom they were rebuilding.
“Kingsley, there won’t be a ceremony. The memorial is not going to be about us,” Harry said. Kingsley started to speak but this time Harry stopped him. “Since we can’t reject the honour, we will take it but there won’t be a ceremony. It really isn’t up for discussion either. Unless you two want one,” Harry turned towards Ron and Hermione. They both quickly shook their heads. Kingsley finally nodded. He glared at Harry.
“Fine and its Minister for cheeky little buggers like you,” Kingsley said but without any heat.
“Ok Minister,” Harry said and a smile broke on his face. Kingsley looked ready to throttle him but then surprisingly smiled back. He shook his head and walked out. Harry handed their letters to Ron and Hermione.
“I’m sorry for speaking for you two. I mean if you want to have a ceremony then you can have it. Seriously,” Harry said sheepishly.
“No. I don’t want a ceremony. I don’t even want this,” Hermione looked at the letter. She had always thought of an Order of Merlin as a glorious, prestigious thing ever since she found out that Lockhart had one. But now looking at it, she felt like a fraud. Maybe this was only for frauds. Not that Harry or Ron were frauds. But Lockhart was and she felt like one too. She realised that she wasn’t making any sense, even to herself.
“They are all barmy. They don’t know what they are doing,” Ron shook his letter in shock.
“I’ll just be back,” Hermione said hurriedly and ran out hoping Kingsley hadn’t apparated away.
She found him the the entrance hall with Professor McGonagall.
“Kingsley.. I mean Minister! Wait,” Hermione called, clutching her chest. She should not have run.
“Hermione I was only taking the piss. Please call me Kingsley,” Kingsley smiled at her. McGonagall tsked at Kingsley sternly. Kingsley’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry Professor,“ Kingsley added quickly. McGonagall nodded at Hermione and walked away.
“I’m still scared of her.”
“Well anyone who knows her, should be. Kingsley, I wanted to know if you got the letter from my healer?”
“I did. And though I think you still are not all the way there, I understand that you need to find your parents. We can arrange the portkey whenever you want. We have informed the Australian Ministry and they are looking for your parents. They will assist you.”
“After the memorial. I will go after the memorial.” Hermione said quickly.
Kingsley nodded and looked at his watch. He smiled at Hermione kindly before leaving.
“They are going to be fine. You’ll be fine,” Kingsley’s parting words rang in Hermione’s head not really giving her any hope.
She knew what was coming and it would, most definitely, not be fine. Her parents are not going to take what she did to them nicely. What she did wasn’t very nice in the first place, she knew. She wouldn’t have taken it nicely if it was done to her. But she did what she had to do and she was ready to face her parent’s wrath. At least she thought she did.
---
Ron was sitting in the kitchen and was looking at the table that was laden with just so much stuff, he couldn’t even look at the table anymore. The stuff was all gifts and cakes and letters. Daily Prophet had finally announced that the Trio were getting their Order of Merlin along with the piece about how they managed to defeat the Dark Lord. It was mostly about Harry and the prophecy. Ron and Hermione were his companions, they never left his side and aided him in fulfilling his destiny. Ron had felt a twinge of guilt. He did leave Harry’s side and now he was being applauded for doing exactly the other thing. He was a fraud plain and simple.
Ron thought about tossing all of the stuff in the fire but realised that it belonged to Harry and Hermione just as much as they did to him. He should ask them. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Molly coming down. He didn’t know why but he stood up. Molly looked surprised to see him there and tried to smile.
“Just wanted to have some tea,” she muttered and moved to the stove.
“You should have asked me,” Ron said as he moved to grab the kettle before Molly.
“Wh- Ron give me that,” She said a little furiously as she tried, fruitlessly, to get the kettle. Ron suddenly felt a rush of hope at the sound. She sounded a little like her old self.
“Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get you your tea,” Ron said as he filled the kettle and turned the stove on.
Molly sighed and then sat down. She picked up a letter from the table.
“I am tired of sitting. What is all this?” She asked as she read the name on a letter and then put it back on the pile. She started sorting the stuff. Ron looked at her. He had seen her everyday since the battle but only today in the light of the day could he really notice all the changes. She looked tired, her skin looked dry. She had lost weight. Her hair was unbrushed and tangled up.
“Umm… Didn’t dad tell you?” Ron didn’t want to have to say it out loud.
“What?” Molly now looked really confused.
Ron spotted his jacket on a chair and pulled out the letter Kingsley had handed him a few days ago. He gave the letter to Molly suddenly feeling very hot around his ears. Molly quickly read the letter and her mouth hung open.
“Order... Ron! Merlin why didn’t you tell me?” She dropped the letter and quickly pulled him down and captured him in a hug. Ron was taken aback but hugged her back.
“Ron this is… What? I can’t believe it,” she said as she read the letter again. Ron was painfully reminded of when he had been made Prefect and nobody could believe it. Everyone had thought that it must have been Harry’s letter.
“Well it is mostly for Harry. You know. The boy who lived, the chosen one. Hermione and I basically just got lucky by association. Well me, not Hermione. She- uhh- she did great. She was perfect. So yeah…” Ron didn’t know why he was getting so flustered. He just wanted her to know that he wasn’t feeling smug about it.
“You think you don’t deserve it,” Molly said as she looked around at him. Ron knew the answer. Yes, he didn’t deserve it. Thankfully the kettle whistled before he could answer. He busied himself with tea as Molly looked away and started opening a few packages.
“Well Alice from Clovelly thinks you more than deserve it. She actually hasn’t been able to get you out of her head since she saw you during the Minister’s address. My my Ron, you are quite the celebrity now, aren’t you?”
Ron put the tea in front of her and pulled the note away. Molly smiled and Ron’s heart tugged. He hadn’t seen her smile for so long.
“Very funny Mom, just drink your tea,” Ron sat down and started to make some room on the table to keep his mug. Molly looked charged with renewed energy.
“You know what? We should celebrate. We can call everyone and have a party in the garden. Oh! We can have Teddy ov..er,” her voice faltered and Ron saw the excitement draining out of her. She looked at him and then looked away. Ron wondered as Molly tried to compose herself, if she wished Fred was here instead of him.
“We don’t need a party mum. This is just.. quite a nuisance actually,” Ron said quickly. Molly looked at him and smiled.
“I’ll take this to my room,” she said as she got up with her mug. With a heavy feeling in his stomach, Ron realised that he wished it was actually Fred here instead of him. Fred would’ve known what to say to her. He always did make her laugh. Ron felt like he had failed somehow. Molly had come out of her room after ages and he managed to send her right back.
“Mum?” Molly turned. “I am sorry.”
“Why?” Molly looked confused. Ron thought of all the reasons - he couldn’t save Fred, he couldn’t cheer her up or that he never knew the right words to say. He was sorry that he was here and Fred wasn’t.
He just shook his head. He couldn’t look at her.
“I am really proud of you Ron,” she said finally and walked back to her room. Ron sat back with his mug and couldn’t get himself to believe her.
---
Hermione looked at Ron’s face. His eyes were closed and he was leaning against a tree with his hand behind his head. Ron had accompanied her to the orchard after lunch. He had been sitting with his eyes closed for sometime now but Hermione knew he was not sleeping. It had been a few days since he had told her that he loved her. A few days since he had broken down in her arms. And a few days since she completely fucked it up.
While she was growing up Hermione never actually ever had to comfort anyone. She didn’t have any siblings or even any real friends. Her parents had each other to comfort. At Hogwarts, she finally had friends. But she had never really learned how to comfort anyone. It had always come down to Ron to do the comforting. But this time it was him that needed comforting and instead of comforting him she had broken down herself and made him take care of her. She chided herself for having a panic attack at the worst possible moment but somewhere she was also relieved. She didn’t really know what she could have said to Ron to make him feel better. She wasn’t good with emotions. She kept thinking about the time Lavender’s pet had died and she had kept badgering her about Trelawney. She cringed at the memory and was afraid that she would end up doing the same thing with Ron. At least now she was aware so she could try to be more sensitive.
But Ron hadn’t given her an opportunity to redeem herself. He had completely avoided this subject since that night. He behaved as if nothing of the sorts had happened. She had tried talking about it but Ron had either found excuses to leave the room or had distracted her with something else. But she had to do it. She won’t let him deal with all that by himself.
“Ron?” Hermione asked tentatively.
“Huh?” Ron replied without opening his eyes. Hermione was lying with her head in his lap. She grabbed the edge of his shirt and started twisting it in her fingers.
“I wanted to talk about that nigh…”
“Why did you go after Kingsley that day? I forgot to ask,” Ron said as he finally opened his eyes. Hermione took a deep breath. He was doing it again.
“I asked Kingsley if he got my permission slip from the healer. He asked me when I wanted to go to Australia,” Hermione said. “But I was saying something.”
“Were you?” Ron said as he plucked out twigs and blades of grass from her hair.
“Yes! Before you rudely interrupted me. I wanted to talk about that night.”
“What night?” Ron asked innocently. Hermione sat up and faced him, her temper rising.
“That night when you- you… You know which night I am talking about!” She snapped. Ron looked at her for a moment and then shrugged.
“There really isn’t anything to talk about,” Ron said offhandedly but Hermione could see his ears turning pink. “Are you going to make me keep a tab of all the nights and who said what, just so you can analyse each word over and over again?” He laughed looking away. Hermione saw his feeble attempt at brushing the whole thing off. She needed to get through to him.
“Ron I just… I want you to know tha..”
“Relax Hermione, I am fine. You don’t have to take care of me. Besides I really am fine,” his voice was a little colder.
“Ron just..”
“Drop it Hermione,” Ron said forcefully. Hermione shut her mouth. She wanted to continue talking about this but Ron’s tone said that the topic was done.
Hermione was never one to back down before saying and doing what needed to be said or done. But she didn’t pursue this. To be honest, a part of her was relieved that she didn’t have to go through with it. She didn’t know what she could have said to make him feel better and no one can accuse her of not trying. Immediately she felt ashamed.
She squashed the feeling by being mad at Ron. She genuinely did try but he didn’t let her. She ground her teeth together and glared at him. He finally looked at her.
“So Australia. What did you say to Kingsley?” Ron asked casually as if he hadn’t just snapped at her just a few seconds ago. Some part of her was saying that maybe this is the best way to handle this. The other part was telling her that she was failing as a girlfriend. That part made her angry at Ron. But she didn’t want to push it anymore. Her anger was already very close to the surface.
“After the memorial,” she replied coldly.
“After the memorial?”
Hermione nodded her head.
“Do you feel...”
“The healer has signed it off Ron. I am good to go. I am much much better if not completely healed,” Hermione said in frustration, She was much better. She had even started helping out with the repairs at Hogwarts. Her hand had stopped shaking and she hadn’t had a panic attack or even a nightmare since that night. She didn’t tell Ron but she had stopped taking her potions too. But who was he to ask after her when she was not allowed to take care of him?
“I know you are fine,” Ron snapped. “I was asking if you are ready to meet them. Your parents. They won’t be happy.”
“Oh. I thought…”
“That I was nagging. Got it,” Ron sounded pissed.
“Why are you getting short with me? You do nag, I hope you know that,” Hermione replied.
“I am sorry if nagging is the only thing works on you. You don’t really seem to listen to reason.” He snapped. He was getting red in the face. Hermione felt her anger rush out in waves.
“I am not a child Ron. I do know what is good for me and what is not!”
“Of course you do. You know everything don’t you? Hermione Granger the brightest know-it-all of our age can’t even remember that red tonic is twice a day and the green one is three times. Red-two. Green-three. How hard is it?”
“Ron Weasley, the best boyfriend in the world. So noble, so caring, can’t even tell that the floor is not the place you keep your clothes. Tell me how hard is it to put you dirty so... oof..” Hermione was cut off by Ron cupping her cheeks with one hand, quite literally shutting her up. And then without missing a beat he kissed her. It wasn’t a gentle kiss either, Ron went all in, tongue and teeth included.
Hermione felt like the kiss was a fight too and she wasn’t going to let him win. She grabbed his hair and pulled. But the moan that came out of his mouth was not one of pain. Hermione’s heart stuttered. She wanted to hear it again. She ran her nails roughly down his neck over his back. Ron made a frustrated sound and pulled her against his chest. His hands wrapped around her torso in a vice like grip.
“Do you know how frustrating you are?” He growled against her lips.
“Do you know how infuriating you are?” Her retort came in the same husky tone. They stared at each other for a second and then both moved together and they were kissing again. Hot and frantic. Their hands going everywhere. Hermione sneaked her hands under his shirt and scraped her nails on his chest, over his nipples. He grabbed her hair at the nape and pulled her face up and sucked on her pulse. Hermione lost sense of where she was she moaned loudly.
“I have always wanted to do this,” Ron whispered against her neck.
“Wh… what?”
“Shut you up with a kiss,” Ron kissed her neck, her jaw up to her ear. He pulled her earlobe in his mouth and sucked. Hermione practically melted in his arms.
“And this,” his low voice so close to her, it felt like it was coming from inside of her head.
“What else?” She managed to croak out. The fight had left her completely. She was putty in his hands. Anticipation and want clawing through her body. Her arguments with Ron were always charged but she never imagined they could lead to this. She felt Ron move and her world tilted. She was on her back. Ron removed her hands from his body and pulled her wrists over head and kissed her again. Hermione gasped.
“This. Is this ok?” Ron asked. Hermione quickly nodded. He kissed her jaw and nibbled on her earlobe.
“You wanted to do this? When?” Hermione asked as she closed her eyes and savored everything that Ron’s lips were making her feel. Her heart thudding in her chest.
“Whenever we were fighting or even when everyone was gathered in the common room, I would imagine sneaking you to my dorm and…”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Are you crazy? I thought you thought I was a prat. I mean I knew you liked me but not like this. Just as a friend.” His lips were still on her skin and Hermione took a second to register the words that were so close to her ears and yet just a mush in her brain.
“Just so you know, my fantasies were not so different either.”
“We were both so daft Hermione,” Ron said and let go of her pinned hands. He was pulling back but Hermione wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him back.
“We were pathetic, yes, but Ron you need to touch me right now,” Hermione said. She didn’t care she was acting like a needy tart, she just wanted some relief.
“Fuck! Come here,” he said as he pulled her up and close to himself. Without warning, Hermione felt the crushing suffocation of apparition. It ended as soon as it began and Hermione opened her eyes to see herself in Ron’s bed.