After the War
The war ended, as it was supposed to but with a little more drama and theatre than what Hermione was expecting. She had always known that they were going to defeat Voldemort. She believed that evil can’t ever really win. That light would always drives out the dark and Harry was all light whether he knew it or not. It was her driving force. It is what kept her going through all those horrible days on the run.
But what she saw after the war made her wonder if they actually won. This couldn’t be called a victory, can it? Victory meant celebrations and healing. Instead there were funerals and tears. How do you win when you lose so much?
Hermione remembered how after Voldemort died, Harry, Ron and she were interviewed by the Order and the Ministry. Hermione wanted to go through with it and get it over with but she was just so tired. She was hurting all over and was hardly keeping her eyes open. They had slept for a few hours when they were discovered in the Gryffindor boy’s dormitory and awoken. They needed to rest and a few hours of sleep didn’t cut it. Hermione had wanted to bite the heads off of the people who woke them up but just didn’t have the energy. Well it didn’t help the interviewers when she passed out while Harry was telling everyone about the Godric’s Hollow expedition.
The next thing she remembers is waking up in Ginny’s room in the dead of the night. They must have given her some kind of a sleeping potion and it must be wearing off now. But that can’t be right, can it? Why will they give her a potion that will wear off in the middle of the night. No. Something else woke her up. She sat up and then a horrible sound reached her. It was filled with so much pain, it nearly knocked her back. She got up and walked downstairs only to see the Weasley family gathered in the kitchen. Molly was on the floor, crying and screaming as if she was on fire. Arthur was holding her and also crying. Everyone was crying.
“Fred! Fred! Fred! My baby” Molly was pounding her head on the ground.
Hermione felt tears spill out of her own eyes. She has never seen anything like this. It terrified her. Her gaze was fixed on the mother who lost her child and she wished she was anywhere but here. The agony on Molly face was almost inhuman. No person can feel this much pain. They would die. How was Molly alive?
Hermione looked away and saw Ron and Harry sitting on the floor next to the staircase. They are both crying. Harry is hiding his face in Ron’s chest and Ron has his arms around Harry. Ron’s face was red and tears were rolling down his face too. Harry’s muffled, choked voice came through to Hermiione through Ron’s chest.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Ron. I should have done…”
“Shhh.. Shhh Harry. It’s not your fault.” Ron was patting Harry gently.
Hermione shouldn’t be surprised. Of course Harry felt responsible. Of course he felt that his sacrifice wasn’t enough. He couldn’t save Fred. It was Harry. Of course it was all his fault. She moved towards him but Ron let go of Harry and stood up.
“What are you doing up?” He looked worried.
Hermione saw the tear tracks on his pale face. He hadn’t even washed up. His eyes were completely red. He looked so sad, she just wanted to hug him. But her body wouldn’t follow. She couldn’t comfort him. How could she fight his pain. It was too big. It was like a monster that had gripped everyone and she could only hide from it.
“You should be sleeping. The healer said that the potion needed you to rest for it to work.” Ron was speaking softly as he approached her.
“I think I woke up becau…”
She looked towards Molly, no longer able to look directly at her. Ron too looked at his mother and understood. He took her hand and started to lead her upstairs.
“Come on.”
“Wait! Harry…” Hermione turned to look at Harry who was now rocking forward and backwards.
“I tried giving him his potions but he just wouldn’t take it. I’ll get Ginny to talk to him.” He tugged at her hand and she walked with him to Ginny’s room.
Hermione got in the bed, already feeling the sleep creeping in. Molly’s voice still came through the door and Ron quickly silenced the room. The silence felt odd almost suffocating. She felt scared. Maybe Molly’s wails were assuring her that this was not a dream, the war really was over. And this silence made her question if she was lulled into a false reality.
But Ron was here. Sad and broken but here. So this must be real. The war must have ended. They have won. But this is not what they had fought for.
Maybe this was all she was going to get.
Ron was fiddling with some potions on her bedside. He knocked a vial down and picked it up hastily.
“I am sorry. I am just trying to figure which one was for sleep.” She saw that he was trying to clear the tears to see clearly. It broke her heart.
“Its ok. I’m already drowsy,” Hermione managed to say. Ron looked at her as if to make sure and then nodded.
“I’ll go see if Harry is alright then,” he said as he moved to the door. “We shouldn’t have brought you here. You should have gone to the hospital. I am sorry. You sleep tonight and I’ll see if we can get you out of here tomorrow.”
He waved his wand and the light was extinguished. She didn’t want to go anywhere. She needed to be with him. He will not make her go away anywhere. He was almost out of the door when Hermione got out of the bed suddenly.
“Ron wait!”
She rushed to him and wrapped her arms around him. She felt him stiffen and then put his arm around her too. The monster was too big but she will fight it nonetheless. She will fight for Ron. They have faced so many things together. They will face this together too. She will not leave him alone now.
“I’m so sorry Ron. I don’t know what to say. I am sorry for everything,”
He didn’t say anything back but tightened his hold around her suddenly, almost painfully. He buried his face in her hair and she felt his body shake as she heard him sob.
They held each other close as they fell apart.
This didn’t feel like victory. It felt the exact opposite. And Hermione had a feeling that it wasn’t going to get better any time soon.