homeless guys and toasters
“And that's why I put the ad on Craigslist. It was really my last straw, I couldn't stand to live with him anymore.” I let out a breath she’d held since she started the rant.
“-Um, we just asked if you were okay with the communal bathroom,” said the Long-Haired Guy. He exchanged a strange look with the Glasses Guy. He looked like he was about to say something to him but Glasses shrugged him off.
“We’re sorry that happened to you”, he forced “Aren’t we Sirius”
Sirius rolled his eyes, “Yes, very tragic. James would know, he just got dumped too.” James gave Sirius a dirty look
“Oh no, I’m really-” I began. James stopped her, “Really, it was a while ago, I’m okay”
“You didn't seem okay when you were playing Adele and crying last night” Sirius blurted.
After an awkward pause in the conversation, I continued, “Is your third roommate a girl?”
“No why- why would you say that” Sirius sat up defensively.
“No it’s just in your ad-” James barked a laugh
“Sorry, the wording was very, um, flamboyant,” I finished.
“Oh really-?” Sirius yawned stretching his arms, not-so-subtly flexing his biceps. “Do these look flamboyant to you?”
James looked apologetic “Ignore him he's very attached to his ego. ” He smiled. “Our other roommate’s Pete, we were neighbors as children. I meant this one at college,” He nodded, at Sirius, “hasn't let go of me since.” James rolled his eyes, passing a hand through his already messy hair. He did that a lot, I noticed.
“And won’t ever Jamsie-poo” Sirius smiled, his eyes twinkling.
Just then the door knob started to rattle and in came a short man already rambling about something. “I’m gonna kill that guy I swear to god one of these days he's getting it”
“Peter” Sirius coughed loudly.
“Oh shoot sorry-” Peter started giving his hand. “You must be, um, Raegan?”
“No, you fool. It's Lily, the potential roommate, I literally told you this morning before you left” Sirius said exasperatedly.
“Oh right, Apologies. You like cats, Lily?”
“Please Pete, she doesn't have time for your cat”
James, having heard this conversation many times stepped in “So Lily, where have you been staying after the, um”
“Oh just with my friend, he's a model, all his friends are models. And I don't need a bunch of models judging my ugly crying face”
“Models?” Sirius perked up at that.
“Crying?” James asked cautiously
“Yeah my best friend Remus, he lives with a bunch of models from his agency” I replied. “Yeah I'm going through kind of a rough patch here so full disclosure, there will be some crying,” I looked down “Also glitter, popsicles, I’m a school teacher by the way, probably should've led with that um,” Way to go Lily, tell them about your obsession with ‘10 things I hate about you' while you're at it.
Peter exchanged a look with the guys, “I think we have some things to discuss, Lily”
“Yeah the Marauders are gonna have a talk,” Sirius said smugly.
I asked “Marauders? Is that a thing?”
James forced a smile, “It’s really not, Sirius came up with it in college, he’s very proud of it.”
“Lily you can look around the place,” Peter said, “Try not to, steal” he added as an afterthought. Probably a bad experience.
The guys all shuffled into the bathroom
“Don't steal? What kind of shit is that Pete” James rounded on Peter.
“You know what happened with the last guy,” Pete said.
“Man, that guy was the homeless man outside the building he's been there for months. How did you not recognize him?” James asked indrelecously
“He was wearing a really convincing disguise okay- You have to stop blaming me” Pete started.
“TELL THAT TO THE TOASTER-”
“WHAT'S A HOMELESS GUY GONNA DO WITH A TOASTER?”
“GUYS” Sirius yelled. “Are you forgetting the golden opportunity this girl is giving us”
“And what is that, Sirius?” James scoffed still annoyed about the toaster. He was pretty attached to it. Kinda like Sirius and his coffee machine.
“Models” Sirius grinned, his eyes literally shining.
“Man don't Sirius, just because her friends a model? Like the girl is probably a mess right now do we really want to deal with all that” said Peter reasonably.
“Peters got a point” James agrees somewhat reluctantly
“Who’s side are you on Jamie?” Sirius busted.
“I'm not on any side, Sirius, Jesus” James exclaimed.
“Mate now is really not the time to play Switzerland. Let's vote on it” Winston replies.
“Guys do we have to really, can’t it be a discussion,” James asks.
“James don't pussy out. You have to make a decision ” Sirius says.
“There's a lot of things to weigh in here, speaking from experience living with women has its perks. ”
Winston scoffs, “Like what”
“Well, for starters, they smell really nice,” James says, solemnly
“Models” Sirius quips
“I do smell really nice!” A voice yells through the bathroom door.
Peter yells back, “How much of that did you hear?”
The guys look at each having come to a decision
Sirius opens the door to a smiling Lily
“Lilyflower, how would you like to move into apartment 4D”
Lily squeals, “You won't regret this”
James taken very aback by the squealing, mutters “ I wouldn't be too sure.”