I miss you
“Beth, you’re not actually serious.”
Beth stared at her screen, unimpressed. Viv’s face on FaceTime was fuzzy, the connection not great, but Beth could still see the disbelief written all over it.
“I am serious,” Beth grumbled, shifting on her side. She was curled up on the couch, a blanket thrown over her legs, the flat far too quiet for her liking. “I can’t do this. I hate being away from you. I swear to God, I’m about to just pack up my stuff and come up there.”
Viv sighed, rubbing a hand down her face. “Liefje, we’re literally seeing each other in two days.”
Beth scowled. “Two days is too long.”
Viv arched a brow. “Beth.”
Beth huffed, burying her face in a pillow for a second before looking back at the screen. “I’m serious, Viv. I miss you. I can’t sleep properly without you, I don’t wanna go out, I don’t wanna do anything. Everywhere I go just reminds me of you.”
Viv softened a little, but there was still a teasing edge to her voice. “That’s a bit dramatic.”
Beth rolled her eyes. “It’s not. I just…I hate this. I hate being away from you.”
“I know. I hate it too, but what are we supposed to do? You can’t just move to Manchester, Beth. Your life, right now, is in London. With Arsenal.”
“I don’t care.”
Viv smiled faintly. “I do.”
Beth groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. “Why do you always do that?”
Viv blinked. “Do what?”
Beth frowned, shifting again. “Act like it’s not that bad.”
Viv frowned right back. “What?”
Beth sat up, the blanket pooling around her waist. “I’m sat here losing my mind over how much I miss you, and you’re acting like it’s fine. Like it’s just some inconvenience. Do you even miss me?”
Viv’s eyes widened slightly. “Beth-“
Beth shook her head. “No, seriously, do you?”
Viv’s jaw clenched, her brows pulling together. “Of course I do, Beth. Don’t be stupid.”
Beth’s stomach twisted. “I’m not being stupid, I’m asking a question.”
Viv exhaled sharply. “I miss you every second of the day, okay? But what do you want me to do? Sit here and cry about it?”
Beth recoiled slightly, her throat tightening.
Viv’s expression changed in an instant, her face falling. “Beth, no, I didn’t mean-“
Beth pressed her lips together, looking away as her eyes fill with tears.
Viv groaned, rubbing a hand over her face. “Lieverd, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”
Beth sniffed, suddenly feeling ridiculous.
Viv sighed, shifting on her own couch. “I miss you so much, Beth. You have no idea. I hate sleeping alone, I hate eating alone, I hate everything about being here without you. And yeah, maybe I don’t say it as much, maybe I don’t sit and wallow in it like you do, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it just as much. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you just as much.”
Beth swallowed, gripping the edge of her blanket. “You never say it.”
Viv sighed. “I know.”
Beth looked back at her screen, her voice small. “I just need to hear it sometimes.”
Viv’s expression softened. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Beth sighed, rubbing at her eyes. “I just want to be with you, Viv.”
“I know, baby. I want to be with you too.”
“Then let me come.”
Viv exhaled through her nose. “You know I can’t do that.”
Beth frowned, but she didn’t argue. She was exhausted.
Viv hesitated. “I’ll call you again before bed, yeah?”
Beth sniffed, nodding.
Viv’s voice was softer now. “And then in the morning. And at lunch. And as soon as training’s done.”
Beth let out a breathy laugh. “Sounds like a plan.”
Viv smiled, small but fond. “Good. Now go get some sleep, liefje.”
Beth sighed, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. “I love you.”
“Ik hou van jou.”