Madness

Neville Longbottom POV:

It surprised me that I ended up as a magic user.

I had been told since my toddler years that I was a squib since my lack of accidental magic was unprecedent. Finding magic anywhere in my life had been difficult, except in the greenhouses at the back of the Longbottom estate. I could always feel a calling there.

Since both of my parents have been patients in the long-term part of St. Mungo, my grandmother was the only person who loved me before I met my best friend Cassiopeia. By fighting against the dark Lord Voldemort, they were cursed to be insane through the cruciatus, the unforgiveable torture curse, by Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black. The kind of love my grandmother, Augusta Longbottom, gave me was the restrictive type that only came with conditions.

That was why meeting Cassiopeia while shopping for my first year at Hogwarts was a breath of fresh air. From the moment we met, she accepted me for all I was; from the stuttering mess to the herbology prodigy (as I should have been labeled). Knowing my best friend came from the same family that attacked my family should probably have turned me against her, but feeling liked by someone new just for being myself brought me such joy. This was joy from meeting a new friend who I connected with on a deeper level, which was almost on par with my love for plants.

I realized then at the age of eleven that love could come in different forms, even those not that are not good for you.

The isolation of being born a pureblood heir whether belonging to a light or dark family brings new challenges that these old families often do not understand. After being gifted a magical toad from my great-uncle Algie Longbottom in apology for trying to “force some magic into me”, I received my Hogwarts letter and I was bundled off and shoved through the chimney floe for my first trip to Diagon Ally.

Being shoved through the floe made my body do a drop, almost like a muggle would describe dropping off a roller coaster after being at the top, made me feel nauseous. No matter how many times I used the floe I still felt sick afterwards. My grandmother just ticked her tongue at me and moved forward through pub. We eventually made it through an ally to a wall where my grandmother took out her yew wand and tapped in a specific sequence on the bricks creating a magical opening into the main magical shopping place in all of Britain.

My grandmother looked over her shoulder at me and gave me a once over. She straightened my clothes and said, “Here is your trust vault key for Gringotts. Spend the galleons wisely. I will be meeting Amelia Bones for lunch, so I am too busy to baby you while you get your school things. You should and shall be getting your fathers wand. Be back by five. Do not disappoint me.” She promptly left after giving me the first kiss on the forehead that I had in six months, leaving me to be whipped in the face by her brightly patterned robes as she swooshed away from me to a nearby café.

The feeling of bodies against me after she left started to panic me. I felt like I could not breathe. So many people cramped together touching me made my anxiety start to compress my chest. I felt like an hippogriff was sitting on my chest making. I quickly found a corner to hide in and started to cry.

Cassiopeia would later tell me the muggles called the fit I had a panic attack. She would off handily mention like she wasn’t a pureblood child and start sprouting facts that would make no sense to me without the background information she seemed to have.

A hug from behind while I was in my hiding spot made me gasp for breath. The young girl (by the sounds of her voice) was trying to soothe me through magical plant types and their effects listing them in an even tone. I had no idea how she had known herbology was my one happy spot, but she did. The world around me faded away as I focused only on her voice and tried to calm down. She brought me the gift of clarity and calm when I needed it so badly.

Meeting my first and best friend for life crying in an ally was not how I dreamed I would meet that friend, but she was so kind even if her sad silver eyes were looking at me with both understanding and disappointment. Her disappointment had not even directed me, but it had made me want to start crying again.

I was mortified that I was not being polite as my grandmother raised me to be and letting this obviously pureblood child with the aristocrat cheek bones and expensive clothes see me cry. I quickly bowed and stated as clearly as I could with my eyes still red and with my stutter coming through, “Ah..a..a I am Heir Longbottom. Merry met.”

She promptly curtsied in her elaborate black robes with silver embroidery of different magical plants such as a beautiful Asphodel, a floral rival of Dittany, used as an ingredient in the Draught of the Living Dread. She gave me a small sad smile that reached her eyes and stated “Merry Met Heir Longbottom, I am Cassiopeia Black from the lines of Lovegood and Black. How do you do?” Her voice kind of trailed off and her eyes went up and behind my shoulder making me look to see if someone was there. No one was there.

We sat there in a corner of the alley and talked for fifteen minutes, chatting about our lives. It was a genuine moment in a life of seeing people who only liked you conditionally. I got use to her quirks after a while, but I figured if she could like me after seeing me cry and stutter than I liked her crazy and all.

Later in life, she would tell me that my deceased grandfather had led her to me and told her about my quirk of herbology. Her disappointment was due to her dislike of both her new friends and the Longbottom’s grandmother and wife.

Even though I was still shaken from my panic attack, I pushed past it and replied politely, “Thank you for calming me down. Do you have an escort?” She replied with a whimsical smile and a negative nod of the head. I promptly offered her my arm. We travelled through the ally together, her hand on my arm keeping me grounded as we traversed the busy streets bumping into witches and wizards buying magical goods.

We ended up at the back end of the ally, looking up at a large white marble building. Goblin sentries were stationed just outside the building, making me extra nervous to go in for my galleons. The prickly goblin race was notorious for being standoffish, as the warrior people they were. I shuffled my short brown hair through my knubby fingers and saw the offering fire in the gold bowl by the door. I took one of the tears that I had saved (in a small magically sealed glass vial) from my moment of panic in the ally and offered it to Lady Magic for sending one of her children to help sooth me. The fire became a brilliant purple and a vine with massive thorns shot out of the bowl, sinking into my arm through my dark green robes making me hiss in pain. I quickly raised my robes looking at my new blessing mark of a vine tattoo with little Asphodels on the stems. For the first time in my life, I felt special as passerby stopped to witness my gift.

I looked over to Cassiopeia in shock and joy as a huge smile came to my lips. I remembered this moment for years to come and when in doubt thought back to the gift in hard times. I never told my grandmother of the blessing mark feeling as though she would misjudge it and ruin the glorious moment.

A nearby Globin looked over thoughtful and spoke while sneering, “Heir Longbottom, you will have to research blessing marks, I have never seen one quite like that one.” He seemed to only speak to me with Lady Magic’s will before promptly ignoring me and going back to his paperwork with a floating quill.

Cassiopeia looked over to me with a huge smile on her face, for the first time since her small smile earlier and laughed a big belly laugh that increased the attention we were receiving. I giggled with her and we walked up to the nearby line for the Goblin bank tellers. Each of us were trying to stop laughing as well looked in to in each other eyes and knew this friendship would last a lifetime.

I knew in that moment, even if it was confirmed by Lady Magic, that we would be two broken people who had a whole friendship