Perspectives.
When Remus wakes up, there is his favourite chocolate lying on the table next to his bed. He knows Peter must have gone to Hogsmeade to buy it, and it itself makes handling pain better. Though his bones feel like they could explode, and he still has a gigantic headache, this moon was a bit better than the last one. He feels better faster.
He unpacks the chocolate, puts it in his mouth and stands up. He knows he won't eat much, but if he won't go to the Dining Hall, he will be reprimanded by mother James and it's not worth the trouble.
What he sees, after entering the Dining Hall, is Marlene noticing him and standing up. And because Remus knows Marlene very well, the first thing he decides to do, is to turn around and flee.
"Remus Lupin!" she calls for all the students in Dining Hall to hear. Remus is wiser than that and is not going to stop. What he doesn't think through is the amount of energy he is capable of gathering right now, and it's surely less than Marlene is capable of.
"No, no, no, no," she says and Remus can hear that she is right behind him. "We need you," she grabs his arm, making him stop. Remus sigh, before turning around to look at her and to his surprise there is also Lily hiding behind Marlene. Remus looks at her accusingly and the only thing that Lily does to defend herself, is raising her hands.
"I've no part in what Marlene wants to do," she states.
Remus looks at them, unimpressed. "I have no part, either."
Lily laughs.
"Funny, you think you have a choice," Marlene scoffs. When Remus gives her an indifferent look, she smiles at him sweetly. "You'll be fine, young gentleman. You'll be fine, and you'll help my cousin."
Remus can only sigh, but he still waits for the explanation.
"Elspeth played chess with Peter," Marlene says.
"Yes, I'm aware," Remus responds, and starts to think that Marlene finally notices her cousin's crush on Peter. It actually concerns him, since this girl is unstoppable and Remus fears the consequences.
"So that's mean she can talk with our lot without a problem," Marlene continues, and Remus feels perplexed. Then he understands that Marlene is as oblivious as ever, and he can breathe a sigh of relief.
"I'm not sure-"
"And she likes you," Marlene finishes her thought. Remus tries to find an appropriate reaction, but he feels lost.
"She likes me," he repeats.
"Yes, she told me you like books. It's almost a love confession, coming from her."
Remus huffs a laugh. "Alright," he says. "So, what about it?"
"I want you to sit with her during the meal."
"Can't see why."
"I'll sit with you, of course," Marlene says, not listening to Remus. "I just need you to talk to her, because you have similar interests."
Remus sighs. "I believe it'll make her uncomfortable."
"I believe it will not," Marlene retorts. "Now, come with me," she orders, and pulls Remus, but he doesn't budge.
"Lily?" he tries to find another solution. "Can you stop her?"
When he looks at Lily, he already knows he can't hope for help from her.
"Bold of you to assume I can stop Marlene," Lily shrugs.
"Yes, I know," Remus rolls his eyes. Marlene still tries to draw him with a fort, and he tries to forget that they're in the Dining Hall, so everyone can watch their performance. "But you're Lily Evans."
"And she's Marlene McKinnon," Lily answers. Remus glances at Marlene and sees her smirk.
"Is it because of this deal of yours?" he asks Lily. She raises her eyebrows. "The one about Mary and Dorcas."
In truth, he knows nothing about the deal between them, but seeing how Marlene often spends time with Lily to gossip about Mary and Dorcas, he guesses they're supporting each other, one way or another. And most Gryffindors probably see it, too, though no one says a thing. Lily probably wouldn't fall for this plot of his, but Marlene...
He feels as Marlene's hand is loosing its strength, but he doesn't make any sudden movements, just in case. When he looks at Marlene, she looks utterly betrayed.
"You told him?" she more whisper-yells than asks. Lily holds her gaze, but seems to be embarrassed.
"I didn't, but you…" Lily says with an uncomfortable look on her face. There's realization on Marlene's face, and then she pales.
"I just did," she understands, and Lily nods. Remus tries not to laugh.
"Thank you for clarification?" he asks.
The sudden look of determination on Marlene's face is what makes Remus feel defeated. Only Marlene McKinnon can turn your victory into loss.
"Now, you have to compensate," she decides, and Remus thinks that for her every reason is a good reason.
"But I did nothing wrong…?" he mutters. Remus looks behind to see that Lily isn't coming with them, and she is escaping the Dining Hall. "Traitor," he grumbles, but then looks up and sees they're near the table already, and he even finds Elspeth among the mass of students. The moment Elspeth notices them is very clear for him, simply because she has a devastated look on her face.
"Not you…" Elspeth groans, sounding so despaired and miserable, that Remus starts pitying her more than he is himself.
"Elspeth!" Marlene calls, not caring about her cousin protest. She puts her arm around her cousin and squeezes her. "We've come with Remus to keep you company." Elspeth gives Marlene a pleading look, so Remus turns his attention elsewhere, just to give her some space. Unfortunately, what his eyes catch is Elspeth's friend, who is staring at him really intensely, but when he looks at her, she turns all red and tries to avert his eyes. He sighs, so she looks at him again, and if there is possibility to get even redder, she manages it without much effort.
"Elspeth," Remus finally decides to help Marlene's cousin. "What do you say about getting out of here?" Marlene is beaming, but the look Elspeth sends him is genuinely alarmed. He tries to tell her with his eyes, that he tries to help her, but it seems like they're not close enough to understand the signs. He puts to the test the other method. "I told you I wanted to lend you a book, right? I've found it yesterday evening, but didn't have time to give it to you. And I might forget later, so…"
There is no book, and they didn't talk about him lending her anything, but Remus is still content with the appearance of realisation on Elspeth's face.
"Yes," she gets up instantly. "Yes, let's go."
Elspeth squeezes her friend's arm with an apologetic expression and puts a fast pace to get as far away from Marlene as possible. Remus huffs a laugh, but stands up and goes after her nonetheless.
When looking around the Dining Hall, he catches a glimpse of Sirius. He is surrounded by a few Slytherins, that are talking to him, though he does nothing to look like he pays them any attention. His eyes are locked onto Remus. And Remus would love to have their little staring contest, but he is with Elspeth, now, so he just smiles at Sirius, and winks before he passes the door threshold.
"Ehm…" Elspeth fidgets a little, and Remus shakes his head.
"You can go wherever you want, now. Though I wouldn't recommend coming back here for now." He says, but Elspeth looks at him dispirited. He thinks of the case, and it actually saddens him slightly that he hasn't thought about it earlier. "Did you manage to eat something?"
"Not really," she grimaces. Remus sighs, but then Peter walks out the Dining Hall and is going straight to them.
"My dear fellows," Peter says. "Have you eaten, yet?"
Remus smirks at him, and nods. "Are you planning to take us somewhere on a date?"
"I've seen you attacked by the older McKinnon, so I came to your rescue. Elves are missing you, dear Remus."
"So am I, so am I," Remus agrees. They look expectantly at Elspeth and, since she looks really perplexed, Remus pats her arm. "We're going to eat, Elspeth, and I believe you have enough reasons to join us."
She is a bit hesitant at first, but then nods.
The three of them spend their supper in the Hogwarts kitchen, together.
---
When James is going to the quidditch pitch, unusually in the evening, he is surprised to see Regulus sitting on the stands with closed eyes, just doing nothing. It's quite endearing and James smiles at the sight.
And then, of course, he sits next to him.
"What are you thinking about?" James asks, and Regulus must have heard him, because he looks nothing near being surprised by hearing his voice.
"About you," Regulus sighs.
James is speechless for a moment, before smiling widely.
"Oh, truly?" James grins.
"Yes," Regulus opens his eyes and focuses on James. "From the moment I've heard your voice, I can't stop thinking about how I want to never hear it again."
James' smile falters.
"And here I was, thinking you would finally understand my charm."
Regulus rolls his eyes. "Listen," he says. "If you need to win your bet, I can just pretend to be your friend, you'll win it, and then you can bug off."
James for a moment is too astonished to speak.
"No! It's dishonest," James opposes. Also, he feels slightly hurt by Regulus' insistence to get rid of him. Then something clicks in his mind. "Wait, you want it, so I'll fix your brooms. Your favour for my favour, isn't it? You said you would approach me because of it!"
"What?" Regulus looks truly perplexed, and James admits, that Regulus is a great actor. "No, I-"
"Well, I can already tell you," James smiles, pleased. "I'm not venal."
Regulus seems exasperated.
"Yes, alright. I won't ever try to convince you to give up on your bet, ever again."
James furrows his eyebrows.
"Why do you keep mentioning this so-called bet?"
Regulus holds James' gaze before he answers. "Do you want me to ignore your denial of your bet?"
"It's not a bet," James insists.
"Then what is it?"
"Well," James thinks about the pros and cons of just calling it a bet, even though it's different, but in the end he decides against it. "Not a bet."
Regulus looks at him bored. "If your story would be told, I'm certain it would be called 'the bet'."
"But there's no one to tell my story," James huffs a laugh. Then he beams at Regulus. "Or maybe you want to do the job?"
Regulus scoffs. "That was surprisingly clever."
"Surprisingly?" James wiggles his eyebrows. "Wouldn't it be beneficial for both of us, though? You would write my story and make your theory true, and I would spend more time with you, of your own free will."
"Of course, because you're so irresistible," Regulus says, his tone sarcastic.
"Well, you're here with me, aren't you?"
Regulus looks at him almost blankly, but James is certain there was something extraordinarily similar to a twitch of the lips. It's making James more pleased than any comeback he came up with until now. Maybe because Regulus is so difficult to cheer up. Or maybe it's just because James adores to humour people.
"You're right," Regulus agrees, and then gets up. James knows what words will come out of the boy's mouth, before they actually get out. "And it is time to change it. Goodbye, Potter."
James beams at him, once again. "See you later, Regulus Black."
The next day, James is in the Dining Hall, siting beside Remus and Peter, because girls already left the Hall, and whatever everyone is speaking about, he doesn't know. He is solely focused on Regulus, and what he finds surprising, is that his unfaltering gaze doesn't make Regulus look his way. And James isn't stopping. He stares at Regulus across the Hall, just so he can notice him, but the younger Black sibling is just calmly eating his food. Someone could think Regulus doesn't feel James' intense stare on him. James even starts to think that maybe Sirius told Regulus about him, so Regulus isn't looking back deliberately. That's why James changes his target to older Black brother, but is surprised again, that Sirius is not looking his way. How is it possible that Regulus doesn't feel his gaze? Is he so used to being stared at, that he choses to ignore it? Does that mean Regulus is that popular? James feels simply dissatisfied by this. He isn't sure why, but it still is disheartening. Does that mean Regulus will never pay him any attention?
James sighs. The most plausible theory would be that Sirius informed Regulus, but it's impossible, because Sirius seems to be transfixed on Remus even more, than James was on Regulus.
James sighs, again, and finally grabs his fork to start eating. And then he halts midway. James' head pops up, and he is again looking at Sirius, being truly shocked by the level of focus on Sirius' face. James glances at Remus, but he is just talking with Peter. Why would Sirius be so concentrated on his friend? The only reason James can think of, is that Sirius likes Remus. He watches Sirius, just in case, for a few moments to make sure he really is looking at Remus, but the longer he keeps an eye on him, the stronger his impression of Sirius liking Remus is.
Then James realises he also was staring at Regulus, so maybe Sirius doesn't really fancy Remus, but it is more about trying to get his attention? Either way, James feels a bit smug in his friend's place.
He nudges Remus.
"Sirius is staring at you."
Remus gazes at James and surely is less impulsive than him, because Remus doesn't even take a glance at Sirius. Instead, he shrugs.
"Let him look," Remus answers, leaving James amazed. If there is something Remus can do to look cooler in James' eyes, it is to do what he actually does.
Remus gets up, and ruffles James' hair. He can see his friend wants to walk away, so James grabs his wrist.
"Won't you stay until we'll finish eating?" James asks, and Remus looks at James with a quirked eyebrow. James glances at his full plate, then he breaks out into a sheepish grin. Remus chuckles quietly and leans forward to give James a peck on the forehead.
"I've got things to do, but we'll meet later," Remus says, gives a nod to Peter and goes away. James instantly looks at Sirius, curious of his reaction. Sirius is ignoring them, looking to the side, but if James sees correctly from the distance, Sirius' ears turns a little pink.
---
Peter is bored.
He knows girls are in the common room, but Emmeline is also there, so he doesn't really want to join them. He is aware that avoiding the problem is the worst thing he could decide on doing, but at the same time, he hates confronting others. It's walking out of his comfort zone.
And Peter feels well enough not to do this.
He thinks about finding out what James and Remus are doing, and though he has his guesses, he still decides to get the map from his table and open it. Their map is a true mastermind invention, but even something so brilliant has a fault. It's just that sometimes, it's difficult to find the person you are looking for, when on the map, there are various footsteps showing up, distracting you from finding this one specific person. So in the end it takes a few moments to find James on the map, and Peter chuckles seeing that next to James is written Regulus Black.
"Of course," Peter mutters to himself and starts searching for Remus. He is in the library with Lily, so the only thing Peter finds out, is that he'd better not disturb any of them.
He sighs and looks at the Gryffindor common room. There is Mary, Marlene, Dorcas and Emmeline, but Peter really doesn't have energy, now. Instead, he thinks of Ted. There is the possibility that Ted is also occupied, but maybe he is alone. Peter would go to him then, just to find out what he is doing, and if it's something seemingly unimportant, Peter would join him.
When Peter fails to find him within castle walls, he looks at areas outside. And he finds him, but not alone. Next to Ted is Andromeda Black.
Peter stares at the map, waiting for Ted or Andromeda to move, but they stay at the same place. They're not just passing each other. They are together on some secluded area of Hogwarts, and Peter automatically tries to find Narcissa and Bellatrix on the map. But the Black sisters are both in Slytherin's dorm.
Is it some plan of theirs? Do Black sisters want to do something to Ted? But why would they? They could, because Ted is a Muggle-born. But their location around the castle isn't suggesting any plan.
The problem, is, though, that Bellatrix has a history of hurting some wizards and witches just because they weren't purebloods.
Peter considers his options.
If Blacks want to hurt Ted, it's probably the perfect moment to rescue him, since there is only Andromeda next to him, and it's surely better to fight only one Black sister than three of them. Peter alone, would probably have no chance against Andromeda, but then again, there would also be Ted. If Peter does everything quietly and leisurely, he should be able to help Ted in whatever condition he might be, and flee with him.
Peter glances down at his hands, and they are trembling, but he can't really calm himself.
He takes the Invisibility Cloak and takes a deep breath.
He will see what is going on, and if the situation is beyond his abilities, he will search for help. James is not so far away, and he would know what to do.
This way, Peter follows the map under the cover of the Invisibility Cloak, going to Ted's rescue.
It's during moments, like this one, that Peter ponders if the Hat is really unerring. Because he feels this level of pressure and stress, only when there is to do something that he fears. How a coward like him could be let into the house of courageous? He is dreaming of being brave and strong, and then he makes plans to flee and search for help, before he even encounters the situation. He feels ashamed of himself. And he can't even tell it aloud.
Because James and Remus would tell him, that he is as brave as them, but they don't understand. They are not in his head, and they don't see his thoughts, his fears, his perplexity. They see their friend, who was sorted into Gryffindor, and they ascribe his lack of initiative to his shyness.
They don't see him fearing of being hurt, of being ridiculed, of being defeated. Injuries and being hurt are things he is afraid of the most.
They don't know that Peter wasn't coping well with Quidditch, because he was too afraid to fly, since it increases the risk of falling. He was afraid of Bludgers, of other players. He never told them, because it was their first year and it was only the start of their friendship, so he didn't want them to judge him. Later, there was no opportunity to do so. No motivation, too.
He is almost seven years older, now, and nothing has changed.
Why, though? Shouldn't he have changed, being surrounded by so many brave wizards? Why does he feel like, being with someone fearless like James or unafraid like Remus only made him more conscious and fearful?
Why does he cover in fear, even under the Invisibility Cloak?
He can't say it's James' or Remus' fault, though. It's solely on him.
"No, I think we should try to finish Charms, first. We can prepare for Defence later, since it'll be a little more entertaining for us," Peter hears Ted's voice.
"No way, I'm from these witches, who eat what they like, first, so they have energy to force themselves to eat the rest," Andromeda says, startling Peter. What are they talking about?
"Why doesn't it surprise me, that you were forced to eat food you dislike?" Peter takes a few steps farther, and his eyes fall upon Ted and Andromeda, sitting on the blanket, with a stack of books beside them. He isn't sure what's more staggering. Andromeda Black talking about her supper like any other teenager, or Andromeda Black having a studying session with Edward Tonks.
Peter hides behind a wall to take off the Invisibility Cloak, and after he does it, he intends to leave. It seems like Ted is not in any kind of grave danger. Instead, he is friends with Andromeda Black, and Peter is trying not to be too astonished by it. It is possible, right?
Did he ever see Andromeda bully someone? It is always Bellatrix, isn't it? So Peter doesn't have to be worried about his friend. He was just being presumptuous the way he detested. Without any proof, without any indication, any sign that Andromeda could think of hurting Ted, Peter just assumed. And he did it the worst way possible. Without thinking.
Peter, still baffled and slightly guilty, but reassured nonetheless, goes away. Or rather he tries, because, like in some cliché book, that Remus is sometimes laughing about, he steps on a twig with a loud crack.
How something so small can make a sound so booming?
As if on cue, Andromeda says in a loud voice. "You think you can disturb me without consequences?"
And Peter shows himself with his hands raised, because he believes the harsh, grim voice is directed at him, since it's completely different from the calm tone Andromeda used, while talking with Ted. But what is odd, when Peter reveals himself, is that Andromeda isn't even paying him any attention. She has her wand directed at Ted, with a threatening expression on her face. She and Ted are standing, with their wands ready.
Peter looks between them, not knowing what is going on and why they changed so suddenly. Did they decide to practice Defence Against the Dark Arts and Peter didn't hear them talking about it? But why would Andromeda threaten Ted?
Ted glances at Peter, before looking back at Andromeda, but then he does a double take. Ted bursts out laughing, confusing not only Peter, but also Andromeda, who takes a glance at Peter with a consternation on her face.
"It's alright, Dromeda," Ted says, siting down again. "He's cool."
Andromeda gazes at Peter suspiciously, but apparently she decides to trust Ted, because she sits, too.
Were or weren't they rowing a few seconds ago?
"Were you pretending to argue?" Peter asks, and takes steps in their direction. Ted pats the blanket, so Peter, cautiously, sits down. He can't stop himself from looking between them, though.
"Yeah, it's better to be careful," Ted answers, seeming completely at ease. That's not something Peter would say to describe his and Andromeda's condition. "Cause no one can know about it, alright, Pete?" Ted instantly takes a more serious stance.
Peter nods, before even registering that he does so. Well, he understands the situation, now. He realises that they pretended to fight, so whoever caught them wouldn't think they are friends. Which they actually are. Though their reaction time was quite amazing and their idea to pretend to fight was clever, the whole perforamance would be for nothing, really, if someone heard the way they talked before. The way individuals interact with each other if they are close. If they are friends.
"Who knows?" he asks.
"I, Dromeda, you," Ted answers and Peter waits for the continuation. Ted smiles, noticing Peter's reaction. "That's all."
"Oh," it slips out of his mouth. "Alright."
"Wait," Andromeda demands, looking stern. "I need you to give us something more than a nod to reassure us, that you won't tell anyone."
"Ehm," Peter hesitates, not confident in what she demands of him. "I won't tell anyone?" he says, but sounds more questioning than stating. Andromeda stares at him.
Ted laughs, probably to reduce the tension. He gives Peter a friendly pat on the back. "Can you keep it a secret, mate? Even from James and Remus. They probably wouldn't tell anyone, but for now, they're getting closer to Regulus and Sirius. And both Bellatrix, and Narcissa are the last witches that can know about it."
"Ted!" Andromeda exclaims.
"I won't tell anyone," he says calmly. Some wouldn't feel well with hiding something from their friends, and Peter understands Ted's and Andromeda's concern, but Peter isn't one of these people. Because it isn’t his secret to tell, and James, the same as Remus, knows the importance of someone's privacy.
What surprises Peter, is that he somehow must have convinced Ted to trust him, and the only occasion that could make it happen was his talk about Slytherins. And Andromeda wasn't there, so she doesn't know about his perception of Slytherins. She also knows nothing about Peter, and what is the most important, she has no reason to trust him. So her evaluative gaze that falls upon him, makes him nervous, but doesn't cause him anxiety.
"You're like our secret keeper, now," Ted jokes, and Peter smiles. He doesn't feel like he could do well to keep others secrets, but since it's important, he will try not to tell anyone.
Peter smiles at Ted assuredly.
"I guess I am."