Perhaps

Chapter Four : 1994

August

Draco couldn't stop repeating the words he had memorized on his birthday a few months ago.

I'm sorry for breaking your nose. Although, you did deserve it. Still, I am really sorry. Happy Birthday Draco.

She had apologized. And she had known that it was his birthday. And she had written his name. He had locked the note in a small box that required a tap of his wand to open, for the fear of his father finding the note. Not that he would know who had written it, but it still had worried him.

Now Draco stood at the book shop, looking for a gift for her. He had found out when her birthday was in the first year, and this year, he would be damned if he didn't give her a gift.

Perhaps he wanted to outdo her gift. Her apology that he took to heart. Her acknowledgment that she knew when his birthday was. Or perhaps he just wanted to be nice for once. No, he scolded himself, he didn't want to be nice to her. He just wanted to outdo her. That was it.

Draco Malfoy wasn't nice. Only perhaps to his mother. And he guessed his father as well. But the second was only because the man scared him.

Picking out the perfect book, or one that he hoped she would think perfect, he paid for it and had it wrapped in a dark green wrapping paper. He wanted to see the look on her face at the dark green color.

Walking out of the shop, Draco wondered if he'd see her on the train this year as well. He secretly hoped that he would.

September

Draco thought that it was faith when he stepped out of his cabin and saw Granger walking down the hall.

No one ran into anyone this year and Draco was a bit upset about the lack of contact that he had gotten three years in a row.

The witch had spotted him, and he was glad that no one else was out of their cabin. He was sure that she would have turned around to go back where she had come from or would have walked past him and not acknowledged him.

"I'm glad no one is running into anyone this year."  Hermione told him when she stopped a few feet in front of him, a small and unsure smile playing around the corners of her lips.

"Why, hello to you too, Granger."  He teased. Or hoped that it had come out as teasing and not as a desperate attempt at saying something, anything. He watched her smile grow from unsureness into a full and real one.

"Hello."  There was about a hundred and one things that he wanted to say to her. To ask her. To see if he could have her be his friend now. They were older after all. And she had seemed to forgive him for what he had called her in their second year.

"How was your summer?" Draco blinked at her surprised face, fighting the urge to turn around and hit his head on the door of the train. He didn't mean to ask her that.

"Umm, it was good. Really good. My parents and I went to Australia in July..."  She paused, seeming to catch herself. He listened to her clear her throat. "Anyways, it was good. How about yours?"

Draco wanted to tell her that he spent the whole summer thinking about her note. "Mine was good too. Got to practice on the broom a lot."  Draco stood there, mortified with himself. It's not like he didn't know how to talk to people, or even girls, for that matter. He just didn't know how to talk to this girl in particular.

Everything he wanted to say, would probably seem creepy. And not like him at all.

"That's good. Well..."  Hermione trailed off, shrugging her shoulders, looking unsure of herself or of what to say next and Draco couldn't blame her.  "I better go."

Draco wasn't sure what exactly possessed him to open his mouth. "Granger."  He watched her stop as she was walking past him, they were inches away from each other now.

"Yes?"  Her voice was small and unsure, and he couldn't blame her. But oh, how he loved the red that was creeping up her neck from the close proximity that they found themselves in.

"Did you mean it? The note?"  He watched her smile grow as she turned to fully face him. 

"About you deserving it?"  Draco chuckled a little at her response, his own neck feeling hot at her teasing voice.  Tilting his head to the side, he shook his head slightly.

"About everything that you wrote in it." He told her and couldn't help the way his mind was screaming at him to close the distance between them.

"I am. I feel bad for breaking your nose."

"But I did deserve it."  Draco told her in a serious tone and watched her eyes widen before her smile grew twice the size it had been only moment ago.

"You may have. But I was still wrong."

"I needed that." He closed his mouth as soon as he had said those words. Bloody hell.  An expression crossed Hermione's face that Draco couldn't read, but it was gone in seconds.

"If you say so. I really should go."  He just nodded his head and watched her ponytail bounce as she walked away from him.

That was the longest they have ever spoken, in all three years.

September 19th

Draco decided to watch as she opened her gift.

He had put the carefully wrapped book onto the table he knew only Granger had used in the library and waited for her to come.

She didn't disappoint.

Draco watched the careful way she had approached the table when she saw that there was something on it. He had written her last name on the front, so that she would know that it was for her.

He had thought about the possibility of her not showing up but had decided to give it a shot. It was a school night and Granger came into the library every other night to study. He felt like she wouldn't miss it, even on her birthday.

Studying seemed to win practically over everything where Hermione Granger was concerned. Unless it had to do with Potter and his red haired dumb-witted friend. Draco decided not to think about that now.

Her brows were furrowed as she studied the wrapped book. He watched as she slowly, holding the package at arms length, opened one side, sliding the green wrapping paper to reveal a book on History on Law Making for Magical Creatures. He had only gotten the book for her because it had an extremely detailed three chapters on elves and all the old laws that were tied to them.

He saw her face light up when she had taken to flipping through the book and he guessed that she had found the three chapters. Then he watched as she looked for who the book was from.

He had written on an empty page that followed after the cover of the book.

Happy Birthday. From the person who you so like to run into on the train.

Draco had considered not letting her know who the book was from, to watch her try and figure it out. Perhaps the Slytherin green would give him away, or perhaps she wouldn't think anything of the color, and wouldn't put him and her gift together.

He had added the line last minute at the shop. And didn't want to mess up the paper by unwrapping it to get rid of that line.

Draco had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that it had taken him a moment to realize that Granger had spotted him. Not only that he was there, but that he was staring at her. Like a creep. Salazar's bloody hell, he wanted the floor to swallow him whole at the embarrassment that he felt.

But to his surprise, Hermione just smiled at him and he found himself returning the smile before forcing himself to stand up and make his escape from the library. Getting caught staring at her had not been part of his plan that night.

December

Draco hadn't been looking for Granger that night. That's what he kept telling himself. Until he saw her enter the room to the ball.

He hadn't seen her, and he had started to worry when Weasley walked into the ballroom with another girl that Granger hadn't been asked.

Of course, he couldn't have asked her. Wouldn't have. It wasn't his place. It wasn't in his nature. People would talk. His father would be angry and disappointed.  And it wasn't like she would have said yes anyways.

Draco took a moment to realize that he felt relieved that she had been asked. And a moment later, he had felt something close to the word jealousy flow through his body when he saw that she was with Victor Krum. But Draco didn't have anything against the other champion.

He was, in fact, feeling rather grateful that it wasn't Weasley who she had ended up going with.

The night was spent in Draco trying to keep his eyes off of Granger, as his own lovely date from Beuxbotton was quiet pretty. Yes. Pretty. But not beautiful. Not in the way Granger had appeared that night.

Draco forced those thoughts out of his head. He reminded himself that he had once upon a time wanted to be her friend, and that was not the way someone who wanted to be friends should be thinking about said prospect of a friend.

But to hell with that. Draco was a teenage boy who was not blind. Granger's dress did her body justice that night. And the way her usually bushy hair was slicked into a simple, yet elegant low bun, let him see her gentle face and made him groan when his date brushed against his growing groin.

Draco had never actually had sex before. He had used his hand, even if that may have seemed barbaric. But he had never had anyone else do it for him. Gods he was turned on to the point where he thought that maybe, just maybe, his date, who was two years older, would actually do something about his growing problem. Maybe if she thought that she had been the one to cause it.

He knew that she had noticed how turned on he was and wondered if she would stoop so low as to have sex with a fourteen-year-old. The instant the thought made it's way into his head, Draco felt like he might throw up.

Draco barely noticed that the dance was coming to an end as only a few people remained on the dance floor. He was surprised to find the youngest Weasley girl dancing with Longbottom. They seemed to be laughing like old friends and Draco realized that he was happy that at least someone was having a good time.  Even if it was the youngest red head and Longbottom. 

As his date kissed him on his cheek, Draco felt a strange sense of relieve that he wouldn't be losing his virginity tonight.

And a slight tint of regret that he'd have to take care of himself tonight.

Making his way through the corridors, Draco took a moment to realize that someone was crying in an alcove a few feet away from him. He didn't mean to spy. Or to take a look to see who it was. Really. Truly. But that periwinkle dress caught him off guard.

"Granger."  She jumped up at hearing her name and Draco took another step towards her. Her eyes were puffy, and her hair wasn't as slick as it had been earlier that night. She looked defeated and it broke something inside him.

"What are you doing here Malfoy."  She sounded mad and sad all at the same time.

He stared at her in confusion. "Granger, this hallway leads down to the dungeons. Where my dorm is?"  He told her in as gentle of a tone he could and watched realization hit her face hard as she stood up suddenly.

"Oh right. Sorry."  She barely half whispered, more tears flowing down her face and Draco, despite him knowing better, grabbed her arm when she made to move past him.  Hermione froze, eyes widening "What are you-"

"Why are you crying?"  Hermione's brows knitted together at his question.  

"You don't want to know." She whispered after along moment, shaking her head.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't." Draco told her, a million thoughts running through his head, and he swore that if Krum was behind her devastated state, Draco wouldn't care who the boy was when he would confront him later. 

"Malfoy-"

"Did Krum do something?"  He wasn't sure why he had asked, but he couldn't think of any other reason why she would be crying her heart out in an alcove so close to his dorms.

"What?"

"Did he hurt you?"

"Victor?"  Draco held in his jealousy at how familiar she sounded saying Krum's first name but knew that he had no right. 

"Yes Granger, your bloody date. Did something happen?"

"Oh, no. No. He was a perfect gentleman tonight."  Hermione told him, shaking her head. Draco stared at her for a moment longer. If her date wasn't the cause for her tears, then what the actual hell.

"Then what happened?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"Granger-" 

"Why do you care? Huh? Were not friends Malfoy. And although I appreciate the gift for my birthday, I don't know why you would care."  Hermione told him, eyes wide, her face flustered, and more silent tears running down her cheeks. Draco took a moment to collect himself at her words. True. They were not friends. But he wanted to be. He really did.

"I just do. Granger, who made you cry?"

She stood there, considering him for a moment. He watched her shoulders sink in defeat and realized that he was still holding her wrist. He loosened the hold but didn't let go completely. Human contact helped sooth sadness, no? Draco laughed at himself silently at that thought. He was just being selfish tonight. But he'd let it slide just this once.

"You really want to know?" Hermione asked him in an unbelieving voice and Draco carefully nodded his head, which seemed to have worked in his favor when he heard her sigh in defeat before she took in a full breath. "Fine. Ron said that I was fraternizing with the enemy. After he had told me that he didn't expect anyone to actually ask me to the ball. Because, you know, how could anyone show any interest in a girl who only cares about books and her studies. Oh, and besides helping him and Harry to not die every time something bad happens. I waited for him to ask me. I did. But he considered everyone but me. And then when I thought that I was not going to go, or that I would have to show up all alone, Victor had asked me. And I was happy. Really happy. And then Ron had to go and ruin it saying that Victor only asked me because I was friends with his enemy. And he only wanted to use me."

Draco didn't know what to say to the girl to make her feel better when she had stopped talking, breathing in air like she'd been missing it. He wanted to go to the idiots quarters and beet the shit out of him. How could Weasley say that to someone who is supposed to be his friend?

"Happy now?"  It took him a moment to realize that she was talking to him again.

"Granger-"

"Feel free to tell me how stupid I am."

"Granger-" He tried again, but she caught him off, shaking her head.

"You asked. You asked Malfoy. So, you can't-"

"Hermione."  Draco whispered her name, watching her eyes go wide when he put his hand over her mouth.  She seemed to realize what he was doing when her head twisted slightly to the sound of footsteps nearing them. Draco knew that nobody would see them from the dark, but they would definitely hear her rambling on.

Draco kept his eyes trained on her surprised ones when she turned her head back fully to him, and he had to hold in a laugh at how they must have looked. He still had a hold of one of her wrists and his other hand was now covering her mouth.

They both listened for the footsteps to fade and then Draco released her mouth and her hand. She just stood there, not able to say anything.

"I don't think that you're stupid."  Draco whispered and her eyebrows rose in response. "If anything, I think that Weasley is a stupid git for saying those things to you. And if you must know, there were others that wanted to ask you."

"What do-"

"Just listen Granger. Don't interrupt for once in your life."  She opened her mouth but closed it in a second, seeming to consider him, and Draco nodded his head in satisfaction. "I overheard Theodor Nott saying that he wanted to ask you. Months ago. When no girl had been asked. But then he had an accident a month ago during a Quidditch practice and he couldn't go to the dance."  Her eyebrows rose higher, and he didn't know how she did it because it looked like another inch, and they would disappear off of her head.

"And you know Cormac? He's a year above us, I heard Theo saying that he heard Cormac in a hallway saying that he would ask you if he hadn't been asked by someone from the other school."  Draco almost added that he would have asked her too. As friends. Maybe. Maybe more then friends. Because they weren't even that. He wasn't even sure what they were at this point.  Did acquaintances who spoke once every year to each other count?

"Cormac?"  Draco nodded his head. "I'm glad he didn't. He's vile." Hermione told him and Draco laughed at that. Usually, people referred to Draco as vile. It was nice to hear someone else being called that name. It was nice that it was her who had said it. He hoped she didn't think that he was vile though. Although he wouldn't blame her if she did. "I don't know who Theo is."  Hermione told him.

"He's a nice guy. Smart. You would have liked having him as your date." There were so many things that Draco didn't know how to explain when it came to this girl. Every time he spoke to her, he didn't seem to be able to control what came out of his mouth. "Don't believe anything that Weasley said to you Granger. I can assure you that he is most likely feeling stupid himself for not asking you first, and the prick took it out on you because he didn't know what else to do with his pathetic feelings." Just like Draco didn't know. Not that he had feelings for her. Not in the romantic way anyway.

There was a moment of silence that passed between them. It wasn't uncomfortable in any way. And Draco thought for a moment that Granger was going to hug him. At least it had seemed that way when she had taken a step closer to him. But all she did was put her hand on his arm and Draco fought the urge to wrap her in his own arms at the warmth that shot from her palm into his whole body. 

"Thank you. For not telling me that I'm stupid."

Draco went to open his mouth to say something, anything, but she beat him to it.

"Thank you for making me feel better Draco."  He hadn't been prepared for what happened next. She was quick, much quicker than him as she leaned in and pressed her lips to his cheek and just as quickly pulled away. "Good night."  Was the last thing she said before she left him standing there, dumb stricken.

He should have been repulsed at the contact of her hand. At the feel of her lips on his cheek. He should have felt disgusted. That's what his father would tell him. That's what his friends would tell him. Except maybe Theo. But Theo wasn't really a friend. Just an acquaintance. Who seemed to have liked Granger all on his own.

If Draco Malfoy had anyone with him when he found her, he would have simply told her that she should go to her dorm. And then he would have made his way to his own dorm, where he would have spent the whole night wondering who it was that had made her so upset.

But he had been alone. And he wasn't the boy that everyone thought him to be. He felt like he couldn't be. Not when he was alone with her.

And now Draco Malfoy knew what it felt like to have Hermione Granger kiss his cheek.

Draco wasn't ready to admit to his own suspicions that he was actually whipped with the girl, and not in a friends kind of way.

May

Draco Malfoy was in some way possessive over things that were his. But the girl that he had found crying in an alcove wasn't his. Since that night, he caught her gaze once, saw her cheeks redden and then she broke the contact by turning around and walking out of the dining hall.

He wanted to follow her. But knew that he couldn't. She probably regretted showing him even so much affection as a simple kiss of the cheek. Something that friends could allow themselves. Or someone who was more than friends. Which they were neither.

Draco was constantly watching for her. In the classroom, across the hallways, in the dining hall. He never let anyone catch him. The last thing he needed was for people to start asking questions. But one thing Draco did start doing was giving Weasley more snarky remarks. Hurtful words flowed out of his mouth easily at every opportunity that was given to him, and he enjoyed the look of frustration and hatred that crossed Weasleys face. Every single time.

What Draco did not enjoy was when the stupid second part of the tournament turned to having Granger chained, defenseless, under the water. Draco didn't know for how long he had sat there, praying that Krum would pop his stupid head out of the water sooner rather than later.

Diggory had beat him to it. And Draco sat stiffened in his seat for what felt like hours when the burly boy finally brought Granger to the surface. Draco wasn't sure what happened after that, slightly catching the fact that Potter had saved not only his prize, but also the little sister of the other contestant. Draco had been too focused on watching Granger to make sure that she was okay.

She was. Of course, she was. Smiling and hugging her fellow Gryffindor's and kneeling down by the water, no doubt, to wait for Potter.

Draco didn't want to admit even to himself what he would have done if she hadn't come out of the water when the hour was over.

He knew he was in trouble. 

And he was surer than anything that he would have to spend the summer doing everything he possibly could to forget about the girl with the bushy hair. The girl who seemed to know more than some of their professors. The girl that he once wanted to be friends with. Who now occupied his dreams every damn night.

That simply wouldn't do.